Parents, Please Control your Children

[gorkt]

If you can't teach your kids about boundaries without hitting them (sorry, spanking) then you are doing something wrong. If you have to escalate to hitting it's mostly because you haven't been paying attention before that point, and thats your fault. If my kids did that at WDW, I would only have to look at them and they would stop, because I did the groundwork years ago. In fact, it would never occur to them to do that, and it isn't because I have been hitting them. Hitting is taking the easy way out because it is much easier to do that then to read a book, learn some parenting techniques that work, and then use them even when it is inconvenient for you.

 

[2009CAN]

Honestly, I really wonder if the parents were trying to usher the kids along because they have special needs and that was a better way to go about it then yelling at the kids picking them up can carrying them off.

 

[starjazz]

The OP did not indicate that the children were asked to join the piano player. This venue is also not a private home of a relative, where "joining in" would be acceptable. Not the same scenario at all...

Of course its not. My point is that a child may presume that it is acceptable to join the performer, because they've learned from experience that joining a piano player is indeed acceptable if not applauded. If the performer does not appear to mind, which seems to be the case in the OP's story, the child (and parent as well) may not view it as a problem. Certainly not the problem that the OP and other thought it was. I certainly would not deem the child an obnoxious, undisciplined brat based on that experience alone, but again, that's just my take.

 

[Isildur's Bane]

Of course its not. My point is that a child may presume that it is acceptable to join the performer, because they've learned from experience that joining a piano player is indeed acceptable if not applauded. If the performer does not appear to mind, which seems to be the case in the OP's story, the child (and parent as well) may not view it as a problem. Certainly not the problem that the OP and other thought it was. I certainly would not deem the child an obnoxious, undisciplined brat based on that experience alone, but again, that's just my take.

I'd be willing to bet the peformer minded along with everyone else

I don't know where kids usually learn its okay to help the strange man playing the piano either

 

[starjazz]

I'd be willing to bet the peformer minded along with everyone else

I wasn't there, so I can't say how everyone felt about it. I just think that, generally, some tolerance, rather than judgement, would go a long way at a place like WDW. Tolerance takes as much discipline as proper behavior.

 

[Isildur's Bane]

self control is handy everywhere too

 

[Mamapapa]

I get that it is vacation but there is never a vacation from parenting.

YES. This, exactly. I also like to count the DisBoards posts on threads like this before someone says "the child probably had special needs". Yeah, um, most likely the child is out of control and the parents gave up discipline years ago....

 

[DisDadDVC]

Of course its not. My point is that a child may presume that it is acceptable to join the performer, because they've learned from experience that joining a piano player is indeed acceptable if not applauded. If the performer does not appear to mind, which seems to be the case in the OP's story, the child (and parent as well) may not view it as a problem. Certainly not the problem that the OP and other thought it was. I certainly would not deem the child an obnoxious, undisciplined brat based on that experience alone, but again, that's just my take.

I would.

 

[larryz]

I wasn't there, so I can't say how everyone felt about it. I just think that, generally, some tolerance, rather than judgement, would go a long way at a place like WDW. Tolerance takes as much discipline as proper behavior.

I guess that's the problem with being a "polite" society... some people interpret "tolerance" as "acceptance."

Oh, there's those pesky semantics, getting in the way again...

 

[Magpie]

Sadly allowing kids to behave inappropriately will transfer to school, work and other situations. Those children will probably grow up to the be adults we see losing it at Disney as well. Just back from 8 days in the parks and shocked at the behaviors we saw from kids and adults alike. Guest on Guest, Guest on CM, a punch to the face, a man yelling obscenities to a young man who appeared to be disabled. Shocking behaviors that didn't just erupt when they became adults. It was rather sad.

I agree. And, well, considering how many complaints people have about the behaviour of other adult guests, I think we can safely assume that the parenting of yesteryear was no better than the parenting today.

 

[minnie mum]

. If the performer does not appear to mind, which seems to be the case in the OP's story,

In what world would a professional entertainer not mind a kid banging away on his piano during a public performance? Of course he minded! Who, in their right mind wouldn't? But this is WDW we're talking about. He had no choice but to continue. Stopping and telling the kid to stop what he was doing (which is something I think would happen just about anywhere else) isn't the Disney way. So the kid is allowed to ruin the performance. And the "parents" allowed the behavior. Poor parenting. Period.

Drag that kid away ( probably kicking and screaming) and have your friendly little chat about limits. If your kid doesn't know how to act in public, perhaps that would be an excellent opportunity for a teaching moment. Or is that too "old school"?

 

[starjazz]

I guess that's the problem with being a "polite" society... some people interpret "tolerance" as "acceptance."

Oh, there's those pesky semantics, getting in the way again...

I'm cool with either word. In WDW, I accept that kids are going to be kids. They may do some things that'll make me cringe, make me wish I'd never had them, make me wish I went to Mexico and sat on the beach all week instead. So I accept AND tolerate some behaviors from BOTH kids AND parents. Otherwise, it'd be easy for me to get grumpy, anxious, etc.

 

[BigAlsGal]

I blame society.

 

[DSLRuser]

If you can't teach your kids about boundaries without hitting them (sorry, spanking) then you are doing something wrong. If you have to escalate to hitting it's mostly because you haven't been paying attention before that point, and thats your fault. If my kids did that at WDW, I would only have to look at them and they would stop, because I did the groundwork years ago. In fact, it would never occur to them to do that, and it isn't because I have been hitting them. Hitting is taking the easy way out because it is much easier to do that then to read a book, learn some parenting techniques that work, and then use them even when it is inconvenient for you.

It is not hitting. it is spanking. There is a very real difference.

Spanking is the next step (usually the last) in a progression of discipline. There come a time when timeouts dont work. Little sally knows that after her 5 minutes in the corner she can go right back to what she was doing. after 3 or 4 "time outs" with no change, there is a next step. Spank a child and they know what happens next. No child likes to be spanked and they will do what they have to do to avoid it.

Done properly, you may only have to spank your child 1 or 2 times in all their life.

But sally has to know what happens when time outs dont correct bad behavior.

I love my mother dearly, but when I was a kid, I had a healthy fear of her. I did not want to have to have her spank me, because it hurt. That fear of a painful spanking kept me in line.

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

The title of this thread initially made me think there would be reported accounts of rampant child misbehavior at WDW . Considering how overstimulating and exhausting a WDW trip can be for children and the multitude of children at WDW, I honestly don't recall seeing more than a couple of incidents that made me raise an eyebrow during both of our week long WDW trips. I am not justifying clear cases of ineffective or a lack of parenting skills; but like another poster mentioned, I witnessed more behavior from adults that made me shake my head than that from kids.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I'm cool with either word. In WDW, I accept that kids are going to be kids. They may do some things that'll make me cringe, make me wish I'd never had them, make me wish I went to Mexico and sat on the beach all week instead. So I accept AND tolerate some behaviors from BOTH kids AND parents. Otherwise, it'd be easy for me to get grumpy, anxious, etc.

The way I see it, kids are absolutely going to misbehave at Disney. That is 100% a given. Not saying all children are going to misbehave, but I do go into the vacation knowing that it is likely that I will see a child or two misbehaving on a trip - my own included.

That said, I will absolutely react differently to a child who goes up and starts banging on the piano during a performance outside Casey's whose parents make the kid stop than I will to a kid who goes up and bangs on the piano and the parents sit there and laugh and allow it to continue. In the first situation, a child is behaving in a way he shouldn't and the parent responds by trying to have courtesy towards all of those around by correcting the child's behavior. In the second situation, the child is still behaving in a way he shouldn't but the parents do not reacts appropriately. They, too, are behaving in a way they should not. I assume children will misbehave. That's part of growing up and learning proper behavior. I don't think it is out of line to expect proper behavior from the adults.

 

[Magpie]

If you can't teach your kids about boundaries without hitting them (sorry, spanking) then you are doing something wrong. If you have to escalate to hitting it's mostly because you haven't been paying attention before that point, and thats your fault. If my kids did that at WDW, I would only have to look at them and they would stop, because I did the groundwork years ago. In fact, it would never occur to them to do that, and it isn't because I have been hitting them. Hitting is taking the easy way out because it is much easier to do that then to read a book, learn some parenting techniques that work, and then use them even when it is inconvenient for you.

Parenting is hard work, and I actually think - by and large - people are getting better at it.

Here's why I think this: When my mum was a parent, she was completely alone. She had no friends with children, so she had no one to ask if she was doing things right, if I was "normal", if everything was going to be okay. Her only book was Dr. Spock, and I evidently hadn't read it. As a result, she spent most of her time parenting from a place of panic. Taking a belt to my butt didn't do a darn thing to make me any better behaved.

When my kids came along, there were so many more books available to me and - even better! - I could turn to parenting boards on the internet for help. I could talk to experienced parents and bounce ideas off them. I put a heck of a lot of study into learning how to parent my kids. I was so much luckier and better supported than my mom. And, as a result, my kids were better behaved and I could choose not to spank.

These days, we generally only have one or two children, and they're often very carefully planned for. Kids aren't always an inevitable (and often unwanted) consequence of two people getting together. Which means - collectively - fewer of us take them for granted, and we spend more effort on learning how to parent.

Which doesn't mean there aren't still badly behaved kids at Disney, and parents who don't know how to parent. But I'm sure they're no more common now than they were in the past, and there might even be fewer of them.

My favourite Disney bad-parenting moment... Tired child is lying on the ground in line at the bus stop, whining. Mom leans down and smacks him. "Stop whining!" The child immediately rears up and smacks her right back, on the leg. Then flops down and starts whining again. Mom pauses, and you can actually see her contemplating infanticide. Then, evidently realizing that she can't beat the child to death in public, and being unwilling to give up her spot in line, she simply stares blankly off into the distance, ignoring him until the bus comes.

Poor exhausted mum... it would have helped if she had something other than hitting left in her parenting toolbox.

 

[DisDadDVC]

To me, it is not a question of whether kids will misbehave or not. Of course they will. The question is, what do you do about it? In this case the parents appeared to ignore it, and that is wrong IMO. Doesn't need to be a spanking or have to yank them out of the park screaming. A simple "stop doing that, you are being rude" is usually enough for many kids.

 

[pampam]

OP here.

Yes, I'm sure Jim was annoyed, but perhaps it has happened before. He is a CM and not in a position to correct other peoples children. Should he have stopped playing, perhaps ask the audience where the children's parents were? Perhaps you think he should have asked the child not to do what he was doing. He did what a seasoned performer would have done. The show must go on. The parents should have stepped up to the plate and guided the children away from the piano, or required them to listen to the performance or steered the children to something that would have captured their interests. They should
have explained that it was not acceptable to disrupt a performance and requested them to stop or there would be consequences.

Perhaps these children did have special needs. I doubt it but anything is possible. By the way, I have a child with special needs. I know that all of us have the ability to learn, grow, develop, and be the best person they can. But they can't do that without guidance, direction and discipline. Notice I never mentioned corporal discipline. Each child, no matter what limitations they might have, are able to blossom into a lovely person. They can't do it on their own. Also, notice I did not blame the children. They were only doing what was allowed.

 

[Ursula's Apprentice]

You're correct - I wouldn't want my kid to make anyone's vacation awkward, and I'd do my best to avoid it. Stealing from a fountain, I might not catch at first. If I saw it, I'd make them put the change back. And I'd probably ask them to add some of their own change as a consequence.

As far as the piano, if the performer didn't have an issue, I might allow them to enjoy the duet for a bit. My kids are often at my sister's house, where she performs on her piano for them quite often. She frequently asks them to join her. Its not music to my ears, but its fun for my sister and my kids, and they're getting interested in music and instruments. So my kids might think it was totally acceptable to "perform" with the guy at Coke Corner.

If those things make me a bad parent, so be it.

Yeah, actually, it does. I can't speak for the rest of your parenting, but in this situation, yeah. And that's exactly why everyone around you would have an issue. It's not your sister's house. This is someone doing a professional performance. What on God's green earth would you be thinking letting your child "join" them?! After the thread that involved the child hitting a performer at Jedi Training, I already know you would think it was cute, so honestly, I can't say it surprises me.