Getting my daughter to bundle up

[Rhona 07]

It's currently winter but I have issues getting my 6 year old daughter Leanne to bundle up from the unpleasant weather.

Before she leaves the house or school, I am always nagging her to put on her jacket, put up the hood and put on her gloves then I have a battle with her regarding the jacket needing zipped up so I end up zipping it myself.

 

[aaarcher86]

I'd just give her the tools and let it go.

If she's cold she'll put on the gloves and put her hood up. Promise.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

It's currently winter but I have issues getting my 6 year old daughter Leanne to bundle up from the unpleasant weather.

Before she leaves the house or school, I am always nagging her to put on her jacket, put up the hood and put on her gloves then I have a battle with her regarding the jacket needing zipped up so I end up zipping it myself.

Been there, done that - 3 times. That's part of being a 6 year old. And part of being a parent.

 

[Allons-y!]

You're the parent. You call the shots. Frankly, unless she's sick, I wouldn't worry about zipping up. If she doesn't and she's cold, that natural consequence will be far better than any nagging or punishment.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Welcome to the DIS. Other than making sure that she takes her coat and gloves with her, I don't see the point in creating a battle of wills over making her wear it. I'm sure she can tell if she feels cold or not.

 

[aprilgail]

I'd just give her the tools and let it go.

If she's cold she'll put on the gloves and put her hood up. Promise.

exactly! it only takes a few times of them going on in a hoodie when they really should wear a jacket for them to figure out 'its darn cold outside maybe I should wear a jacket", even a 6 year old will eventually figure that out. Not worth my time and effort to argue with a kid about this kind of thing. Grandma is always nagging my daughter about it "you should be wearing a coat"- ummm she is SIXTEEN, if she feels like she needs a coat she will wear one, but going from the house to my car, then a few feet into the school she is not exactly going to freeze to death by not wearing a coat!

 

[jdb in AZ]

Get a large thermometer and attach it outside your home where your DD can see it. Teach her to read it, and when it reaches a certain temp, that's when she's expected to wear a jacket. When the temp dips to X degrees, it's time to zip up, wear gloves, and the hoodie. Hopefully she'll take responsibility for reading the thermometer and taking care of herself instead of a daily power struggle.

 

[dja14]

My mom still nags my brother, he is 41. My kids have never seen him in long pants. He just doesn't get cold until it is below zero really.

I have 1 kid who is just like him. 16 years old and asked me today if he needed to wear pants and tennis shoes or was it okay to wear shorts and flipflops. I made him go out and check and he wore pants and tennis shoes. barely a light jacket. 42 degrees and brisk wind today. I was freezing! I used to say stuff but now I just make sure he has warm weather gear and as long as he won't get frostbite I don't say anything. My daughter is a jeans and sweatshirt in the summer kind of person and as long as she won't get heat stroke I let that go too. We did always have the rule that winter coats and gear always ride in the car in the winter, even if you don't want to wear them, just in case

You could make her look at the weather the night before and get her stuff out then. Unless there is some kind of sensory thing going on, if you buy it and make it available she will wear it if she is cold enough. Some people just don't get cold I guess

 

[storzo]

My mother nagged me and as soon as I was out of sight the hat, gloves and scarf came off and the jacket got unzipped.

40 years later I only use hats and gloves and zip up when it's in the single digits. And I don't own a heavy winter coat.

People are constantly asking me if I'm cold. I'm not. People and their bodies and tolerance levels are just different.

 

[wishesuponastar]

At 6yrs old she needs to listen to you and bundle up. You know what's best for her. I used to tell my kids when they were younger that if it was below 50 degrees they had to wear their coat.

I have given up on my 14 and 18 yo daughters. They don't wear a coat but they are just going to the car then right into school. Plus they don't go to their locker so they would have to carry their coat around.

 

[lustergirl]

Good Luck!! My now one year old grandson likes to take his hat off and if he could unzip his jacket it would probably come off as well. If you don't put shoes on him, off come the socks in the car. Little monster. I think it comes from being at home and running around in just a diaper. I am always telling my son to make sure he is dressed.

But I do remember that this is the child of my son who likes to wear shorts during the winter.

 

[kamik86]

I hate the hood on my jacket. I won't wear it unless I REALLY need it. Which is rare because the only thing that gets cold that the hood protects are my ears, and frankly a set of ear muffs do a much better job keeping those warm and doesn't suck as much.

How cold is it where you are? I forgot to crab a jacket at all today and my shirt is only 3/4 sleeves. I was a bit chilly walking into work at 6:30 this morning but it wasn't that bad (I'm in MA) a sweatshirt would have been plenty warm enough, so maybe she really doesn't need it.

 

[mjkacmom]

Who cares? This is a situation where natural consequences kick in. She'll be cold and realize you were right, or she'll be fine and realize you were wrong. I might suggest proper outerwear, but my kids wear what they want, and none have ended up with frostbite or hypothermia.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It's currently winter but I have issues getting my 6 year old daughter Leanne to bundle up from the unpleasant weather.

Before she leaves the house or school, I am always nagging her to put on her jacket, put up the hood and put on her gloves then I have a battle with her regarding the jacket needing zipped up so I end up zipping it myself.

And? It is better to get over it now.

These are the real struggles of motherhood.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Hold on. She's 6. Not 16. 6. You are the parent. MAKE HER put on her gloves. Do it yourself if you have to. She's 6.

 

[Magpie]

Natural consequences! If she's cold, she'll zip up. If not, let her be. Not everyone has the same internal thermostat. There's a reason we joke, "I have to wear a sweater because my mom is cold!"

I disagree that this needs to be turned into a discipline issue where you establish who is boss and your child learns to do as they're told without argument. There are MANY more important issues to put your foot down over (such as being respectful, being kind, doing your chores, brushing your teeth, etc). I value a peaceful home, and believe strongly in picking my battles wisely.

In fact, dressing for the weather is one of those wonderful opportunities to allow your child a bit of independence and show her that you respect her ability to make choices for herself. I really like the suggestion by another poster to have a thermometer by the door, and teach her to read it.

The only way a child can learn to make smart choices is if they're allowed to actually make them. And sometimes she'll choose wrongly... But isn't it better that she experience that now when the worst that will happen is she'll be a bit chilly, than later in life when the consequnces may be much more severe?

Once, when my son was a toddler he refused to put his boots on. I said, "okay," and followed him out into the snow with his boots in my hand. When he started to cry, I picked him up, dried his feet off, and put his boots on. After that, he didn't argue about the boots! He's now 18 and doesn't always dress as warm as I think he should, but that's his business not mine.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

It's currently winter but I have issues getting my 6 year old daughter Leanne to bundle up from the unpleasant weather.

Before she leaves the house or school, I am always nagging her to put on her jacket, put up the hood and put on her gloves then I have a battle with her regarding the jacket needing zipped up so I end up zipping it myself.

For what temperatures?

Some people don't like to be bundled.

Unless it is 30s or below, I didn't make a fight about it. I even figured out why teens forego a winter coat. I hated those bulky things. So unless it snowed, I just didn't wear one. And I hardly ever zipped up unless it was windy. I allowed my son to wear shorts if the high would hit 50 that day so long as it wasn't blustery.

And then I moved back to Florida where I don't have to deal with that.

So unless she is at risk for developing hypothermia, I would just let natural consequences be her guide.

 

[Minnesota!]

At 6yrs old she needs to listen to you and bundle up. You know what's best for her. I used to tell my kids when they were younger that if it was below 50 degrees they had to wear their coat.

I have given up on my 14 and 18 yo daughters. They don't wear a coat but they are just going to the car then right into school. Plus they don't go to their locker so they would have to carry their coat around.

50???? That's still shorts and flip flops.

I buy the gear for my kids, but only insist on it if they are going to be playing in the snow. Kids (yes, even 6 year olds) know if they are cold. They will bundle up if they need to.

FWIW, I live in MN (duh) and don't own ANY winter gear. I wear a hoodie from Nov - March. I know I am good with it. Even on -0 days. AAMOF, I wear my gym gear to the gym. So, shorts, t-shirt, etc. No matter the temp...I am outside in it

 

[Turn the Page]

Ah yes, the clothing battles. I have been waging this with my stepdaughter nearly daily. How you respond to it has to do with age and the personality of each individual child.

At 6, you're the parent, she's the child, she needs to obey you. DD9 is about to turn 10. If she wants to go out without her hat on in single digit weather then she can knock herself out, it won't take long for her to pull it out and put it on. She doesn't fight me about putting warm clothes on in the winter anymore. SD5 (almost 6) has sensory issues and one of the issues she has is with temperature. She just can't tell what the temperature is like most of us can. For example, she will go running around indoors completely dressed in snowpants, boots, winter coat zipped up, hat, and mittens and be sweating but can't tell that she is warm. Alternatively, for weeks she kept trying to sneak out of the house to go to school in December in January with a tank top on. Heck no, kid. It is the middle of winter, it is 5 degrees outside and there is 2 feet of snow on the ground. You are not wearing a tank top to school. It finally got to the point where I made her pack all her summer clothes in a box and put it away and she won't get it back until spring because I won't have the fight with her about tank tops every single morning.

At 10, and assuming this method works, I think it's appropriate for natural consequences. A few times DD asked if she needed a coat so I just looked at her and told her to step outside on the porch and see. She immediately came back in and grabbed her coat. At 6, you're the parent, she is the child. She does not get a say in this. I can see compromising on it and saying ok, you don't have to zip your coat but you need to wear it or you're wearing your hat, you can forgo the mittens but otherwise, you need to be in charge.

Good luck. I know exactly how frustrating it can be.

 

[Turn the Page]

Natural consequences! If she's cold, she'll zip up. If not, let her be. Not everyone has the same internal thermostat. There's a reason we joke, "I have to wear a sweater because my mom is cold!"

I disagree that this needs to be turned into a discipline issue where you establish who is boss and your child learns to do as they're told without argument. There are MANY more important issues to put your foot down over (such as being respectful, being kind, doing your chores, brushing your teeth, etc). I value a peaceful home, and believe strongly in picking my battles wisely.

In fact, dressing for the weather is one of those wonderful opportunities to allow your child a bit of independence and show her that you respect her ability to make choices for herself. I really like the suggestion by another poster to have a thermometer by the door, and teach her to read it.

The only way a child can learn to make smart choices is if they're allowed to actually make them. And sometimes she'll choose wrongly... But isn't it better that she experience that now when the worst that will happen is she'll be a bit chilly, than later in life when the consequnces may be much more severe?

Once, when my son was a toddler he refused to put his boots on. I said, "okay," and followed him out into the snow with his boots in my hand. When he started to cry, I picked him up, dried his feet off, and put his boots on. After that, he didn't argue about the boots! He's now 18 and doesn't always dress as warm as I think he should, but that's his business not mine.

I can see both sides of this. Natural consequences can work, to a certain extent. Sure, they learn to make wise choices by being allowed to make choices but you have to first teach them appropriate behavior and then allow them to make their own choices when they have a good foundation. If you can't win the coat in the winter battle when she is 6 how are you going to win the bootie-shorts and tube top battle when she is 16?

Natural consequences would work if she steps outside and immediately decides she wants a coat. Wouldn't work so well if she gets on the bus without it and 10 minutes later wants her coat. Then she is without it all day. I don't know where you or the OP lives but it would not surprise me at all if a parent got reported to CPS for sending their 6 year old to school with no coat. But, we live in the Great White North where you could actually get frostbite if you are outside without being appropriately dressed.