Tuesday July 14th aka Day 3 part1 aka The Stitch of A Trip Glitch aka The Waterpark Incident
I had fallen asleep just fine that night but woke up magically early again. Around 5:30am. Try as I might... I could notNOT fall back asleep. So I tossed and turned for about a half an hour. By then I was quite certain there would be no more sleepin' happenin'. and decided that if I was awake well then Mellyman should be too. However, I can't just obviously wake up Mellyman for zero reason. Mellyman can't appreciate that and, actually, he's quite grumpy when he wakes up. Whatever time it is. On the other hand I wake up pretty happy and alert. And talky. Pinchy and pokey. As well. Which Mellyman finds irritating on top of his normal state of wake rage. He's my morning Hippopotamus. But slightly bulkier. Highly dangerous and unpredictable in bed. And has been known to subdue Me(l) by using his huge forelimbs to shove me off the bed onto the floor. Or his massive hindlimbs to trap me against the mattress and hold me motionless and against my will. Sometimes he will even resort to the old but reliable dutch oven treatment. Especially during the holidays. What I am trying to share here is that there will be NO WAKING of the Hippo.
Conspicuously.
So.
Let the Beeping commence.
You all know what I'm talking about...right? Many of you prolly do it too. Or not. Well, Beeping is a perfect way to wake Mellyman without him realizing that I'm waking him. Well. Up until he reads this. *Sigh* Anywho... to Beep someone awake you must make a high-pitched obviously BEEP noise. Just loud enough to startle them from slumber... but not wake them entirely up. Basically you're really screwing with their REM cycle. And you must continue to do it every 10 minutes or so. For maybe like 40 minutes to an hour.
Then presto. They wake up. Way way before their alarm.
Usually grumpy. But completely unaware.
We both got up magically early for our much anticipated Waterpark day!!!!! Yay!
While Mellyman angrily stretched and hostilely lounged for a bite. I was up and making coffee. Which I made alright. I made it on the counter in a huge puddle rather than in the coffee maker jug thingie. It was undrinkable because we had no straws. Also I realized that we had no unbroken coffee maker. Either.
I called Melly when I came out of the bathroom and saw this. I told him "Coffee's READY!". Which got him up eagerly because Mellyman is quite the coffee lover. He walked over to get some and saw the huge lake on the counter.
"What the hell have you done Mel???!" he snarled. I answered that I made a coffee puddle for him. Without meaning to.
Then I asked him to clean it up while I went to get us coffee from The Belle Vue Lounge.
And... if you think he actually did it. Then you don't know Mellyman. and clearly also think he's whipped. *rudey poo*
I cleaned up the mess using about 18 Lungs of paper towel. And it was still hot. So hazardous. THEN... I went to get us coffee.
Hummm. Seems like someone else might be a tad whipped. Here.
I also bought him a paper. Some stupid financial thingie. By the looks of the front page news. I brought it all back to the room. And we got ready for Typhoon Lagoon!!!!
Yahhhh baybee!!!! We LOVELOVELOVE the waterparks. All five happyhaunts. It's because we love the slides, the wave pools, the lazy rivers and the people watching. We also enjoy strutting around with very little clothing on. Well...Mellyman and Calvin do anyway. And, despite the fact that this time we were only two happyhaunts, we knew we would have a great time!
Spoiler. We did not.
Anywho... we headed out of our villa and with beach bag, cooler bag of waters, towels stolen from the towel barge by our quiet pool, books, paper, sunglasses, sunscreen, snacks and the $30 camera which now had to be returned back to Walmart. Headed to try to find our little red car. Which was harder to do than we expected. It was hiding between two vans. And we on our way.
Got there by 8:15am. Park was opening at 9am.
Grabbed our stuff and got in line. We were really in good shape tho. Like maybe 8 people in our line in front of us. And we proceeded to wait. Wait. Wait. And it was pretty hot.
I started to realize that I felt weird. Pretty suddenly I went from feeling normal. To very very strange. And from strange to sick. And that's when I told Mellyman that I was going to go to the bathroom. There is a handicapped bathroom right there at the front gates. Before you enter Typhoon Lagoon. It's just one single bathroom. FBI. (However I strongly suggest you never go in there. I hurt it real bad)
So I walked kinda shakily over and went in. And proceeded to not only throw up. violently. But to also throw down. Even MORE violently. If you catch my meaning here. But, luckly, NOT at the same time. Whew. Super duper luckily. I was super weak. And so fixed myself up a little and went back out to Mellyman in line.
Mellyman: Are you alright? You don't look alright.
Me(l): No. I don't know? I feel a bit better. Maybe? I was sick. And I just used all the toilet paper in there. Like a cord of toilet paper.
Mellyman: Do you want some water? Here. Drink this.
Me(l): I feel really shaky and weak too. I'm gonna sit down. ok.
So I sat down in the line. No one else sat down. To join me tho. And tried having some water.
Then I started getting even dizzier. My hands started buzzing. Tingling. And kinda involuntarily clenching. I started rubbing my hands. To make them behave. Then I asked Mellyman to help me stand up cause I could not do it without help. He did and that's when the CMs started letting everyone through and into the park. My plan was for us to hustle as usual. Basically speed walk a la Mellyman the professional. I am always concerned about getting a spot with an umbrella or a shady spot at this waterpark. Because there aren't a huge number of shady seats. On this morning I walked slowly very slowly in. Mellyman walking beside me. Carrying everything and glancing over at Me(l) every few seconds. Worried. It didn't matter much because there was still a rope up at the bridge by the High n Dry place. We got in line again. And about two minutes later I realized that I was going to faint. I told Mellyman to continue with the plan. Get good shady seats and run for them.
While I would go into the store there called Singapore Sal's. And cool down. And try to feel better. He agreed to come back when he got our digs picked out.
I walked into the store and it was pretty empty. People were getting lockers basically. I asked this nice looking older lady CM named Doreen if I could sit down somewhere because I was feeling poorly.
She took me to the back of the shop where the change room is and I sat down on the bench there. I must have looked pretty bad because she stayed with me and started asking me questions that I don't remember much of. I wasn't focusing. And I was doing the hand clenching thing. Weaving around in my seat. too. And I did hear her say that she was gonna run and get her store manager. Which she did real fast. The store manager lady looked at me. And called HER manager. The manager of the park. They also must have called for First Aid because suddenly there were about four lifeguards there. Along with the park manager. Trying to find out stuff like my name. Who I was with. If I was experiencing chest pain. What medical issues I might have. What resort I came from on property. Lotsa stuff.
None of their damn business!!!
No. I actually couldn't really answer much. But luckily then I saw Mellyman walking into the shop and said that my husband was here. He sat down and started answering their questions and looking at me all concerned. While touching me. All over. But ever so carefully and gently. He announced I'm very pale. He told them I was cold. Like ice cold. And something was definitely wrong. My hands were like claws. Then I fell on him. And people spread towels on the floor and laid me down.
I closed my eyes. Because I had to. But... I heard the park manager fellow telling Mellyman that they had called an ambulance and it was on the way.
And then I got ready to begin the process of dying.
In a Disney Water Park. In Singapore. Sal. s. Of all places.
In a bikini. And tiny wrap.
Without my children. Anywhere near Me(l).
Waiting on an ambulance.
Spoiler. None dying occurred.
Cheers, Mel.
Edit: Sorry but I gotta go out right now. So I'll finish it tomorrow. Sorry sorry. Also sorry this isn't very funny. But it actually was scary NOHellClown.
. Hubs and Mellyman would likely get along great with their enjoyment of napping in common. 
(You can tell him I sad he's a little cute too, if it helps. Though I suspect after the next story you have to tell, his cuteness might dim a little.....)
