Does Your Teenager Have a Curfew?

[slo]

Does your teenager have a curfew?
If yes, what is their curfew?
If yes, do you enforce the curfew?
What is your teenagers age?

I'm just curious
My oldest DD is 17yrs old and her curfew is 10:30pm Sun-Thur and midnight on Fri & Sat.
She has not respected this curfew once this summer and always has a reason to come home later.
I've been nice and gave in and have let her come later.
Last night she asked if she could come home at 11pm, then she called and asked for 11:30pm and again I'm being nice and say yes. At 11:30pm I get a text that she's on her way home and stuck by a train. Finally at 12:30am she walks in the door and I wasn't happy.
Of course she had a great story to tell on why she was late and blah blah blah

She tells me this morning how teenagers don't have curfews today.
How we are the only ones that make their child come by a certain time.
Obviously we aren't the only ones giving our child a curfew, just like not every kid is wearing something at school, but I'm curious if we are the majority or the minority with this.

Please share - thanks

 

[Dizlvr]

My dd 17 doesn't really have a curfew especially during the summer. I don't mean she can be out till 4 in the morning but I just don't have a strict set time on when she has to be home, it depends on what she is doing.

 

[DawnM]

My kids (17 and 15) don't have curfews but they don't drive and none of their friends drive, so they always have to be driven by parents. If I know where they are and who they are with and what they are doing, there is no curfew.

If I had a kid with a driver's license and free access to a car, and I worried about where they were or what they were doing, then I would enforce one.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

We no longer have teenagers at home, but no we didn't set a specific curfew. I think my wife and I were both quite hands off in our parenting when I compare it to some of what I see and read here for instance. It was never really a problem and we always knew, or at least we continue to fool ourselves into believing we knew, where our kids were.

 

[Capang]

My curfew was always midnight. My niece tried the whole "I don't need a curfew" thing. The police brought her home. She violated the city curfew. Of midnight. Most cities and towns have a curfew for different age groups. Check out where you live. Police can and will pick up kids that violate curfew. Here, they may just drive you home or if it is a repeat offender they will prosecute the child and THE PARENT GETS FINED. My parents always said no good happens after midnight. I thought they were so wrong. Now as an adult I get it. There is really nothing for minors to do after that time.

 

[eliza61]

Each of my kids were different.
My youngest son is a pita to get out of bed in the morning so yeah he had a curfew. lol.
Basically though we took each situation individually. My kids had to let us know where they were going and they couldn't just say "out". Once we got an idea of where they were going and what they would be doing we would let them know when they had to be home.
It also depended on what they had going on the next day. School in the morning, yeah you had to be home by 11:00
My township had a curfew for teens anyway that was 11 pm so they couldn't be driving around at 3:00 in the morning.

 

[mamamary]

My kids are 18 and 16. My 18 year old does drive but he and his friends do things on the earlier side. So far there has never been an issue to set a curfew. Now my daughter doesn't drive so if she is out at night I need to get her and I am not a night person. So unless there is something specific going on I will usually get her by ten. If it's my house her friends are welcome to stay later as long as they have a ride. She is so not a morning person that once school starts up again nine will most likely be when she needs to be home. Later on weekends though.

 

[NHdisneylover]

My kids are 18 and 16. Neither has ever had a curfew. They let me know where they will be and when they will be home (and call or text if plans change) and if there were ever a problem with that we would discuss it, but I do not recall any issues coming up.

These are the same rules my parents had, except it was a little harder for me to call home back then, but I did if my plans changed.


I try not to have arbitrary rules ,and for me a curfew is just that. I would only have one if we lived where the city enforced a curfew and then my kids would know it was out of my hands and I didn't like the nanny-state mentality but couldn't do much about it.

 

[Miskey]

When my kids were still in school, they didn't have a set curfew. Time to be home was decided on each situation.

 

[Kae]

DS is 17 and I like home to be home in the summer by 1 he is normally home by 12 depends what he is doing. They go to the movies, bowling swimming at friends houses, x box. Yesterday he golfed up in michigan so he was home by 9 left around 11 am. Earlier if he has to work in the morning. DD is 15 most of her friends live by us so she is home by 11 or so most of the time the girls do sleep overs at the last minute-gets late and still watching a movie or playing a game.

 

[Poohforyou]

My dd will be 16 next month and as of right now she doesn't have a curfew. Our town has one though. During the school year I try to have her go to bed around 10 because she isn't a morning person. In the summer she has much more freedom if nothing is going on the next day.

 

[piglet too]

No real curfew, especially during the summer, except for what the city has in place. We ask what time they're planning to be home, and if it's later than we like, ask them if they could be a little earlier. During the school year it's different.

My only requirement is, when you tell me a time, then respect me and be home at that time. Texting me 10 minutes before you're supposed to be home doesn't cut it, unless it's a traffic thing.

ETA - ok, looked up curfew in my town, and we don't abide by the S-Th curfew of 9:30, at all. F & S is midnight though.

 

[jdb in AZ]

When we had this issue with our son, one of our friends (a more experienced parent) said that when the kid ignores the curfew it's time to stop setting one.

A counselor told us of parents who were tired of their DD staying out late, so they locked her out of the house over night. That didn't accomplish anything.

Fortunately our DD was easier to deal with.

Each kid is different -- one size does not fit all.

 

[Hrhpd]

Does your teenager have a curfew?
If yes, what is their curfew?
If yes, do you enforce the curfew?
What is your teenagers age?

I'm just curious
My oldest DD is 17yrs old and her curfew is 10:30pm Sun-Thur and midnight on Fri & Sat.
She has not respected this curfew once this summer and always has a reason to come home later.
I've been nice and gave in and have let her come later.
Last night she asked if she could come home at 11pm, then she called and asked for 11:30pm and again I'm being nice and say yes. At 11:30pm I get a text that she's on her way home and stuck by a train. Finally at 12:30am she walks in the door and I wasn't happy.
Of course she had a great story to tell on why she was late and blah blah blah

She tells me this morning how teenagers don't have curfews today.
How we are the only ones that make their child come by a certain time.
Obviously we aren't the only ones giving our child a curfew, just like not every kid is wearing something at school, but I'm curious if we are the majority or the minority with this.

Please share - thanks

My 18 year old does not have a curfew. He didn't at 17 either. But he is a reasonable young adult. He learned pretty quickly that staying out late and then getting up at 4:30am for swim practice does not mix well.

May I gently suggest that by not enforcing the curfew, your daughter does not really have one. Right now by having a curfew that you are allowing her to ignore, instead of being nice, you are just teaching her that rules don't matter. You would be far better off to not have a curfew and instill other rules such as texting you if she is going to be out after a certain time, which it seems she is already doing and is working for both of you.

 

[ashley0139]

I never had a curfew as a teenager. As long as I let my parents know when I would be home, they were cool with it. But there was definitely no "set time" I had to be home. Sometimes (rarely) it was 2am but as long as they knew it was fine.

 

[Tay N Evie's Mom]

My twins are 17 and we bought them a car to share two months ago. Our state (Illinois) has driving restrictions on minors driving, so they have to be home by 10pm Sun-Thurs and 11pm on Fri and Sat. They have never abused the curfew. They are great kids and I am so proud of how mature and responsible they've become!!

 

[clori]

My 15 year old doesn't have a curfew but I tend to know what she is doing etc. She also knows when she needs to get up early the next morning. Last week there was a teen event at a local museum. Dh and I drove dd15 and two friends 15&16 to/from the museum The event had a specific start and end time. When we were almost there the mother of the 15 year old girl called me. She knew her dd was with us and where we were going but wasn't sure what time it ended. I told her it was scheduled to end at 9:30 but we would probably be there about 9 in case they finished a bit early. I was shocked when the mother said 9:30 was way too late to be out at night especially in the summer vs a school night. Um, it was a free supervised event with adults bringing her home. I just said I would get her home as early as I could. I got her home at 9:38 (I checked my watch). The girl said she had no plans the next morning and could sleep as late as she wanted.

 

[Colleen27]

DS17 doesn't really have a curfew during the summer, other than a rule to be home before the city curfew of midnight unless he's got a ride home and has let me know where he's at/when he'll be in. He doesn't have to get up in the summers so as long as he is quiet and respectful of those of us who do I don't fuss much over what time he comes in. He doesn't drive, though, so there's only so far he goes on his own.

During the school year I'm a lot stricter because he's a pain to wake up in the mornings but during school breaks I'm inclined to allow more freedom as long as he's taking care of his responsibilities and not getting into trouble.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I didn't give my teens a curfew. It depended on what they were doing what time they came home. They always kept in touch and let me know where they were and what time to expect them. Sometimes the times changed or their plans changed and I respected that they would call or text and let me know.

I think sometimes parents make up rules just to enforce them without any real reason for them. Especially in the summer when there's no school. It becomes a power struggle between parent and child.

 

[Riles_and_Gabe]

My older son is 17 and he does not have a specific curfew. We just haven't needed to set one for him. It doesn't mean he gets free reign though. We take each situation and set a time based on that. He has never gave me a reason for concern.