This Baltimore mom rocks!

[Pea-n-Me]

But - and not trying to be critical, Smitch - this is where the disconnect seems to be. You said, "Awesome was not the first word that came to my mind after watching that. Stupid was. There are ways to make your child listen to you without beating them." in your first post.

This was a lady who was reacting to a sudden, life or death, critical situation with her teenaged son. She also may have come from a tough background herself.

Did she look stupid, and goofy? Yes, in some ways she did. In fact, I sort of cringed when I first saw it, too. But then I really thought about the situation, and how her life is very different from mine. And I couldn't help but not only giving her kudos for CARING and BEING THERE, but realizing that, given the same circumstances, I likely would have done the same thing. After the first whacks upside the head, I actually got a huge lump in my throat watching her, understanding, as a mom, how passionate she was feeling because she simply loves her son and didn't want him to get in trouble, or worse. Surely we can all relate to that, and that's why people are calling her a hero.

That is all, I think, that we're trying to say, and perhaps why some of your posts were so strongly reacted to. A lot of parents want to insist why their kids would never do such a thing, but we all know, it can happen to anyone. Teens are very different animals than young children. They subtely start taking on views of their own, sometimes different from those of their parents, and they're also often beholden to peer pressure. If you think about it, it's part of a teen's "job" to separate from their parents, and this is often how it begins - by going against what they've learned and been taught. (Fortunately, it usually comes back. But the teen years are tough!)

 

[smitch425]

But - and not trying to be critical, Smitch - this is where the disconnect seems to be. You said, "Awesome was not the first word that came to my mind after watching that. Stupid was. There are ways to make your child listen to you without beating them." in your first post.

This was a lady who was reacting to a sudden, life or death, critical situation with her teenaged son. She also may have come from a tough background herself.

Did she look stupid, and goofy? Yes, in some ways she did. In fact, I sort of cringed when I first saw it, too. But then I really thought about the situation, and how her life is very different from mine. And I couldn't help but not only giving her kudos for CARING and BEING THERE, but realizing that, given the same circumstances, I likely would have done the same thing. After the first whacks upside the head, I actually got a huge lump in my throat watching her, understanding, as a mom, how passionate she was feeling because she simply loves her son and didn't want him to get in trouble, or worse. Surely we can all relate to that, and that's why people are calling her a hero.

That is all, I think, that we're trying to say, and perhaps why some of your posts were so strongly reacted to. A lot of parents want to insist why their kids would never do such a thing, but we all know, it can happen to anyone. Teens are very different animals than young children. They subtely start taking on views of their own, sometimes different from those of their parents, and they're also often beholden to peer pressure. If you think about it, it's part of a teen's "job" to separate from their parents, and this is often how it begins - by going against what they've learned and been taught. (Fortunately, it usually comes back. But the teen years are tough!)

"Stupid" was in reference to the situation, I wasn't calling the mom stupid. As I have stated (repeatedly), I think she did the right thing in taking him away, I just think the hitting was an unnecessary move. Was I overly critical in my initial post? Probably so. Was it deserving of the backlash I've gotten in this thread? Absolutely not. There is a way to speak your mind without being disrespectful to the people you are speaking with. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to do that, and that's a shame.

 

[brockash]

Maybe if she would have been more attentive and a better mom before yesterday her kid wouldn't have been out there. One of the biggest problems in the inner cities are parents who aren't present for their kids and the lack of role models, especially from their fathers.

I wouldn't be in that situation because my kids wouldn't be out there. Oh and that's not me saying that, that's my kids telling me that when they saw it on the news today.

LOl...wow the "my kids would never be like that." Honestly, I can't imagine mine would either, however I'm also pretty certain I haven't been in the same situation as that mom. Maybe she was a crappy parent, at least now she's making sure she's involved. Another likely scenario is maybe she's been struggling their whole life to make ends meet (which would explain her not always physically being around, if that's even the case) and maybe she's the only person that has ever participated in raising this child. Time to get off your high horse. I applaud her for doing what she did. I don't generally condone hitting your kid, however he's not a little kid and he's engaging in criminal and violent activity. Good for her.

 

[slo]

Ok....has anyone seen her interviewed?
I'm so curious to know how she knew he was her son.
If my daughters were dressed up in all black with the only thing exposed was their eyes, and was in a big massive brawling crowd, I don't think I would recognize them.
How did she know he was hers?

*If this was already answered, I'm sorry, I just tuned into this thread and didn't read all the responses.

 

[slo]

How old are your kids? Even with the best parenting, some kids still make stupid choices.

I agree!!!

My parents were/are (my dad has passed away) awesome parents, and I still did some things in my teenage years that I'm not proud of . Nothing like the stuff were discussing on this thread, but stuff like sneaking booze and smoking cigarettes (things my mom still doesn't know I did - LOL!!) What I'm getting at it, is you can be the best parents in the world, but unfortunately if your kids are with a bad group, that badness is incredibly contagious and your child may just fall victim to the badness in that group. Raising kids is so tough and it's even tougher when someone starts judging the parent because of the mistakes of the child (unless the parent really is a dead beat)

*ETA...I was never in a bad group I was just an idiot with a couple other idiot friends - LOL!

 

[Dawnlight]

Ok....has anyone seen her interviewed?
I'm so curious to know how she knew he was her son.
If my daughters were dressed up in all black with the only thing exposed was their eyes, and was in a big massive brawling crowd, I don't think I would recognize them.
How did she know he was hers?

*If this was already answered, I'm sorry, I just tuned into this thread and didn't read all the responses.

I did see an interview. She said that she had gone to the area when she heard the kids were let out of school, found a line of police officers, and asked where those kids were. She looked across the street and recognized his baggy sweatpants, then she made eye contact.

Here's the CBS interview : http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/baltimore-mom-to-see-my-son-at-riots-with-rock-in-hand-i-just-lost-it/

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Ok....has anyone seen her interviewed?
I'm so curious to know how she knew he was her son.
If my daughters were dressed up in all black with the only thing exposed was their eyes, and was in a big massive brawling crowd, I don't think I would recognize them.
How did she know he was hers?

*If this was already answered, I'm sorry, I just tuned into this thread and didn't read all the responses.

As I mentioned before, that sweatshirt was pretty distinctive with the prominent silver zipper and the white hood strings. I would definitely recognize it, because chances are, I bought it. Same for the pants, sneakers and backpack.

But also, I can pick my son out from a distance, say, when he's playing his sport in a sea of the same color and even from a distance, by his body movements, his size and frame, the way he holds a bat or swings, the way he throws, etc. I think most moms are probably pretty skilled at picking out their sons!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I agree!!!

My parents were/are (my dad has passed away) awesome parents, and I still did some things in my teenage years that I'm not proud of . Nothing like the stuff were discussing on this thread, but stuff like sneaking booze and smoking cigarettes (things my mom still doesn't know I did - LOL!!) What I'm getting at it, is you can be the best parents in the world, but unfortunately if your kids are with a bad group, that badness is incredibly contagious and your child may just fall victim to the badness in that group. Raising kids is so tough and it's even tougher when someone starts judging the parent because of the mistakes of the child (unless the parent really is a dead beat)

*ETA...I was never in a bad group I was just an idiot with a couple other idiot friends - LOL!

Weren't we all!

BTW, if you want to see what your kids and their friends are up to, check out their public Twitter feeds. You might see a side of them that surprises you.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I did see an interview. She said that she had gone to the area when she heard the kids were let out of school, found a line of police officers, and asked where those kids were. She looked across the street and recognized his baggy sweatpants, then she made eye contact.

Here's the CBS interview : http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/baltimore-mom-to-see-my-son-at-riots-with-rock-in-hand-i-just-lost-it/

To me it shows that even when you are a parent that cares, these neighborhoods can still get your kid. There always a lot of talk about blaming the families and while it can be true, it's also oversimplifying things.
It's clear that he respects her, which I think says something. If, for whatever reason, she hadn't been around to go get him, who knows what could have happened.
I guess my point, which I know isn't clear, is that even if you are trying to be a good parent and your kids love you, they can still make stupid choices which continue the cycle.

 

[slo]

I did see an interview. She said that she had gone to the area when she heard the kids were let out of school, found a line of police officers, and asked where those kids were. She looked across the street and recognized his baggy sweatpants, then she made eye contact.

Here's the CBS interview : http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/baltimore-mom-to-see-my-son-at-riots-with-rock-in-hand-i-just-lost-it/

Thanks for posting this....I'll check it out

Weren't we all!

BTW, if you want to see what your kids and their friends are up to, check out their public Twitter feeds. You might see a side of them that surprises you.

I couldn't agree more!!
I check my daughters Twitter every day.
Whenever she does anything on facebook or Instagram I see that right away (she doesn't do much of those)
She does have a Tumblr and Vine which I haven't checked lately - I need to do that.

 

[robinb]

I did see an interview. She said that she had gone to the area when she heard the kids were let out of school, found a line of police officers, and asked where those kids were. She looked across the street and recognized his baggy sweatpants, then she made eye contact.

Here's the CBS interview : http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/baltimore-mom-to-see-my-son-at-riots-with-rock-in-hand-i-just-lost-it/

Thank you! What a great interview. She was so well spoken, I hope that this helps her find a job too.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I did see an interview. She said that she had gone to the area when she heard the kids were let out of school, found a line of police officers, and asked where those kids were. She looked across the street and recognized his baggy sweatpants, then she made eye contact.

Here's the CBS interview : http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/baltimore-mom-to-see-my-son-at-riots-with-rock-in-hand-i-just-lost-it/

GREAT video! She had a lot of interesting points.

First, when she saw him, he was part of the group that was vandalizing and throwing rocks at police. Yikes.

She was shocked and hurt to see him, that that wasn't how he was raised, that he was raised to know right from wrong, etc. (taken out of context, but still, points she made)

That she was worried how the police would view him; like a hoodlum or a thug.

That her thought was "What are you doing?", doesn't know if he really understood the consequences, but probably did later at home as they watched footage of the fires, etc.

That her son lives with death around him, that some of his friends have been killed already, that she worries about him daily when he's not home after school, that some of his friends aren't doing the right things, etc.

And that he got messages of support for his mom from his friends on FB.

Glad for them. I think they're representative of a lot of families.

 

[phinz]

Here's the CBS interview : http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/baltimore-mom-to-see-my-son-at-riots-with-rock-in-hand-i-just-lost-it/

I think I love her.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Thank you! What a great interview. She was so well spoken, I hope that this helps her find a job too.

I believe she has a job as a drug and alcohol counselor. But I do hope it brings her and her family good things as well.

 

[kellyg403]

To me, she is definitely a mother who cares. I think those who are looking at this as abuse or violence, really doesn't understand what fear can do to a mother. And quite honestly, that boy respects her. He kept walking, never raised a hand to her, didn't run into the crowd but towards home. Was it a little over the top? Maybe so, but she was scared and I will not sit in judgment of what it took to get her baby out of there.

And she seems like a real nice lady. I didn't realize that she was an alcohol and abuse counselor, but that really speaks volumes about who she REALLY is.

 

[cabanafrau]

I'm a mom. Probably like the rest of the parents on this thread my love for my children has no limits. I would crawl over broken glass to help them.

That said, many of the parents in this thread would say I'm a bad mother or cringe when they saw me act out like this mother if I had to go drag one of mine off the streets like this mom did. I'd tear a strip off the hide of one of mine if they were so simple minded to follow along and act like an animal like these kids did, putting their lives and future and the lives and future of their community in danger. I have no doubt both of my kids would be able to tell you my reaction if they acted out this way. I could care less who thought poorly of my parenting choices when I was acting to protect my child's safety and future.

For those who are so quick to judge this mother's methods, remember you're doing so from the safety of distance and time passing. In that moment no one knew what the outcome of that day would be. No one knew when the police might be given the authorization to respond with force, as has been known to happen in these situations. Could you live with the decision to go get him, have him defiantly refuse, you choosing not to smack him upside his head and instead walk away after telling him he really, really needs to get home? Could you still live with the decision had he continued to run with the pack as darkness fell, the looting and burning began and finally the police were authorized to respond with force? Could you live with the decision when you got word your son had been critically or mortally injured in the melee? Mom's blows may leave some marks and not feel great for a few days, but I think this mom AND her son can live with that outcome.

I don't wonder what this mother meant when she said she didn't want him to be another Freddie Gray. Better she kick his sorry behind all the way home than risk the police do so and he spend the rest of his life in a cycle of incarceration.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

She seems like a really down to earth woman. I can't imagine being a single mother of six, much less in that environment. I think she is the definition of "doing one's best".

And I can just say that they are a good looking family! I've seen some photos of her son and a few others of the other kids...Gorgeous.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I'm a mom. Probably like the rest of the parents on this thread my love for my children has no limits. I would crawl over broken glass to help them.

That said, many of the parents in this thread would say I'm a bad mother or cringe when they saw me act out like this mother if I had to go drag one of mine off the streets like this mom did. I'd tear a strip off the hide of one of mine if they were so simple minded to follow along and act like an animal like these kids did, putting their lives and future and the lives and future of their community in danger. I have no doubt both of my kids would be able to tell you my reaction if they acted out this way. I could care less who thought poorly of my parenting choices when I was acting to protect my child's safety and future.

For those who are so quick to judge this mother's methods, remember you're doing so from the safety of distance and time passing. In that moment no one knew what the outcome of that day would be. Know one knew when the police might be given the authorization to respond with force, as has been known to happen in these situations. Could you live with the decision to go get him, have him defiantly refuse, you choosing not to smack him upside his head and instead walk away after telling him he really, really needs to get home? Could you still live with the decision had he continued to run with the pack as darkness fell, the looting and burning began and finally the police were authorized to respond with force? Could you live with the decision when you got word your son had been critically or mortally injured in the melee? Mom's blows may leave some marks and not feel great for a few days, but I think this mom AND her son can live with that outcome.

I don't wonder what this mother meant when she said she didn't want him to be another Freddie Gray. Better she kick his sorry behind all the way home than risk the police do so and he spend the rest of his life in a cycle of incarceration.

This. So much this.

 

[Laura66]

Ok....has anyone seen her interviewed?
I'm so curious to know how she knew he was her son.
If my daughters were dressed up in all black with the only thing exposed was their eyes, and was in a big massive brawling crowd, I don't think I would recognize them.
How did she know he was hers?

*If this was already answered, I'm sorry, I just tuned into this thread and didn't read all the responses.

See I think I definitely recognize my kids. There's that mother's intuition first of all - and then I "know" my kid's "walk", their posture, and their clothing. Not saying I coujd do it all the time - but I've often picked my kids out of hundreds in a crowd far away.

 

[cabanafrau]

See I think I definitely recognize my kids. There's that mother's intuition first of all - and then I "know" my kid's "walk", their posture, and their clothing. Not saying I coujd do it all the time - but I've often picked my kids out of hundreds in a crowd far away.

Yep, long time as a dance mom and I can tell you I can indeed pick one of mine out of a quick moving group all in the same outfits and hair styled identically in a matter of moments. I bet lots of sports parents here can say the same.