Canadian Buffoon's Vacation - update 28/06 - Coffee? It's on me!

[pkondz]

So after much coaxing...

coaxing....

That just doesn't look right, does it?
Too much like coaxial, as in cable.

co-xing?
No. Looks like short form cross country skiing.
(Don't get me started on skiing... too many eyes... i's... I isis... Dang it! Look what you did!!!)




So after much persuading, I was coaxed into....
Oh, Gawd....

There I was. Strapped to an uncomfortable chair.
Someone I've never met is holding a lump of burning coal.
He (or she) approaches. I can feel the heat emanating from the coal.
"So." He (or she) says. "Will you write another trip report?"
"No!" I scream as the coal brushes my arm. "Never again! I swear!"
"No, no, no." He (or she) hisses. Or was that the sound of my flesh burning?
"We don't want you to not write one. We want... No, we insist that you write one!"
"No!" I scream... again. "Anything but that!"
But as the coal begins to near and my skin starts to bubble...


What? Too dramatic?


Okay.
Some people (and you know who you are!) asked,
hmmmm.... 'asked' isn't the right word... I know...

Some people gently pushed and encouraged me to write another TR for my next upcoming trip.
(Doesn't that sound better than 'threatened'? Or 'coerced'?)


The link to my last TR, if you haven't read it and would like to, can be found by following this link:
Canadian Buffoon European Vacation


Now I realize I've created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the classic road trip vacation and going right to the European vacation,
but that's the way it happened.
(And if that last sentence seems familiar to you,
then you'll understand why I'm planning to make one of my stops.
You'll see... or not.)

Now, let's see... right about now, you're saying to yourself,
"Blah, blah, blah. Get on with it! What are you doing? And when???"

Do you always talk to yourself?
Don't tell me, just tell yourself.




Fine, I'll get on with it.


The Meaning of the Trip.
Part 1. The Birth of the Trip.

If you've had the misfortune of reading one of my previous TRs,
(you poor, poor sap)
than you already know the players.

If not, then....
There's me.
I'm married to Ruby and we have two evil, horrible children.
Elle, a newly minted 17 year old, and Kay, 13... going on 30.

Ya want pictures? Go see my last TR, or wait for 'em to show up later.
Or not.
(Which is my way of saying that I'm at work right now and don't have access to any)


Elle's been dancing since she was two.
I don't mean around the house... well, she does that too.
What I mean is that we enrolled her at a studio when she was two.
Tutu's for Twos.
Basically, the rugrats get to dress up in little dance outfits and learn to listen to the teacher.
So far as I can recall, she enjoyed it.

Five or six years ago, we encouraged her to try out for I.P. (Intensive Program) dance.
More dance, more instruction.
They compete against other studios.
And if they're good enough (you have to qualify),
they get invited to Nationals or whatever.

It can get fairly pricey.
Which is why the parents put their collective feet down and said we'd travel every second year.
Four years ago we went to Vancouver, two years ago, Montreal.
This year it's Niagara Falls.


Flights for four people and car rental would run over two thousand dollars.
Geez! We just got back from Europe! Now is not a great time to spend.

"Well." Says Ruby, says she. "Why don't just you and Elle go?"

Hmmm... that would cut the airfare in half.
Plus, Kay doesn't even want to go.
I don't blame her. These things aren't all that much fun for her.
Hours of sitting around waiting for Elle to dance, followed by more hours of waiting.

Boring! (You can take that as Kay's sentiment... or your own for this TR)


Wait a minute! Wait just a gosh darned minute!
You said "road trip"! Not plane trip! What gives?

I'm glad you asked!


When I started looking at prices, it occurred to me that it might not be much more to drive, instead of fly.

Oh, it'll be more to drive, when you factor in food and gas... but not much...
Besides...

I love road trips.


Kay... does not. She feels lousy if she's in a car for too long.


So let's drive to Niagara Falls!
Just Elle and I.

Not quite.


One of Elle's best friends in her dance team... heck, even outside it...
is having a bit of a rough go of it right now. (we'll call her Dee)
Her Dad has cancer, and, depending on how he feels, may or may not be able to make the trip.
If he can't, his wife (Dee's mom) would have to stay behind too.

So we offered to take Dee with us.
Turns out Elle and Dee love road trips too.

So a trip was born.


Just me and two teenage girls....
Who tend to be a little crazy when they're together...
And let's not even mention hormones........

Oh. My. Gawd.
What have I done???



Details? Sure!

Plans, stops, attractions, maybe even a DISmeet or three...
Plus (for those of you who joined from the last TR) the cliffhanger and drama revealed!!!!

In the .... following chapters.

 

[pkondz]

PTR update #1.Beauty out of pain
PTR update #2.This way to the segue!
PTR update #3.A mini-PTR for a mini-TR, pre-TR
PTR update #4.The details
PTR update #5.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ottawa Day 1.Learning patience through pizza
Ottawa Day 2.A capital DIS meet!
Ottawa Day 3.On your feet soldier...
Ottawa Day 4.Coffee? It's on me!

 

[jedijill]

Look kids, there's Big Ben!

Ooops, wrong report. Oh well, I'm here anyway....might as well stay to here about the road trip

Jill in CO

 

[pkondz]

Look kids, there's Big Ben!

Ooops, wrong report. Oh well, I'm here anyway....might as well stay to here about the road trip

Jill in CO

Whoa! That was fast!
Are you... are you..... stalking me????

I'm okay with that if you are. Just wondering.

Welcome!!

 

[jedijill]

Whoa! That was fast!
Are you... are you..... stalking me????

I'm okay with that if you are. Just wondering.

Welcome!!

Well, I'm supposed to be putting together a newsletter for work but I don't really want to so I'm checking email and Dis updates instead.

Jill in CO

 

[mmeb144]

Since you haven't actually taken the trip yet, how about some dates and places so I can plan to meet you. Or, you can plan to avoid me...

 

[pkondz]

Well, I'm supposed to be putting together a newsletter for work but I don't really want to so I'm checking email and Dis updates instead.

I should hope so!
Some things are important and work is not one of those things!


uhhh.... Your newsletter doesn't contain important advances in the field of heart surgery or something, does it?

Since you haven't actually taken the trip yet, how about some dates and places so I can plan to meet you. Or, you can plan to avoid me...

Then what will I have to write about in the next chapter????
Just for planning porpoises (which I hope will earn your seal of approval), I'll PM you the dates and places.

And welcome to the new mad house!

 

[Backstage_Gal]

YAY. My brain is totally fried from work today, or I might have something more entertaining to say (kidding, entertaining is not my forte), but you will have to do with this.

Along for the ride, as always

 

[pkondz]

YAY. My brain is totally fried from work today, or I might have something more entertaining to say (kidding, entertaining is not my forte), but you will have to do with this.

Along for the ride, as always

Hey Marita! Good to have you along, again!
Glad to see you're so happy about having a fried brain.

Anyone who uses the word "forte" in a sentence is entertaining.

Unless you use it like: "The army knew it had to defend the area, so they built a forte."

Then you're more sad than entertaining.

 

[orangecats2]

You started!!! And I'm here!!!

Did I make page 1?

 

[dawnbu40]

Looking forward to another of your adventures

 

[Thumper_Man]

You started!!! And I'm here!!!

Did I make page 1?

Yup. You did. Question is did I make page one? I'll soon find out.

 

[Thumper_Man's Wife]

Oh thank goodness! Something to keep my mind occupied while I try desperately not to kill one of my co-workers. Distractions are a girls best friend, and what's a better distraction that reading about you taking a road trip with two rambunctious, teenage, hormonal girls!

Count me in!

 

[Mac Brew]

I might be too late to make page one. But I could be first on page two either way it will be a first for myself. looking forward to your interpitation of the falls at Niagera.

 

[buzz1121]

'I'm just fine with the terms "coerced" and "threatened" says one of the "shes" with the burning coals.

Asked and persuaded sound way too tame for this group. Yeesh, don't you know us for the bloodthirsty savages we are from Nebo's TRs?

A leopard, or at least this one, can't change it's spots.

Can't wait Pkondz, just wish I could meet up with you guys.

 

[pkondz]

You started!!! And I'm here!!!

Did I make page 1?

Yes you are! And you did!
Welcome to the new digs!
Isn't it shiny?

Looking forward to another of your adventures

Hi Dawn! Welcome!
Just posted a minute or two ago on Caitlin's PTR.
You must be very proud of her. 3.6 GPA! Not too shabby!

Yup. You did. Question is did I make page one? I'll soon find out.

Let me know when you find out.
We're all waiting with bated breaths.
(Or baited breath, if you've just eaten seafood.)

Either way, welcome to the new nuthouse!

Oh thank goodness! Something to keep my mind occupied while I try desperately not to kill one of my co-workers.

Who knew?
This TR (or PTR, or whatever), while still in its infancy, has already been responsible for saving lives.

What's next? A cure for the common cold? The sky's the limit!

Distractions are a girls best friend, and what's a better distraction that reading about you taking a road trip with two rambunctious, teenage, hormonal girls!

What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, Lord.

Count me in!

Counted! You're in! And welcome, Lady H!

I might be too late to make page one. But I could be first on page two either way it will be a first for myself. looking forward to your interpitation of the falls at Niagera.

I'm sorry to tell you that you are not first on page two.
(It appears... that I am )
My condolences.
I know how much that meant to you.
If it's any consolation, you're the first poster from outside North America.
(I was going to say from a foreign country when I realized
a: That might be considered rude... then realized that's never stopped me before, but;
b: Considering I'm from Canada and everyone else who's posted is from the States.... )

Either way... welcome!

'I'm just fine with the terms "coerced" and "threatened" says one of the "shes" with the burning coals.

Asked and persuaded sound way too tame for this group. Yeesh, don't you know us for the bloodthirsty savages we are from Nebo's TRs?

A leopard, or at least this one, can't change it's spots.

Ok. Ya got me there.
You are a bloodthirsty bunch.
I was trying to tone it down a notch so as not to throw off the innocent bystanders.

Too late now.

'Can't wait Pkondz, just wish I could meet up with you guys.

But you can! It's easy, too!
Step one: Walk over to car and start it up.
Step two: Drive north, northwest for thirteen hours.

Voila! See? Easy peasy!

Meet up, chat for a bit, then drive back.

Either way, nice to have you along for the TR ride, Buzz! Welcome!

 

[queenbetsey]

bit late but here, present and accounted for. This should be a fun read. what you are doing is amazing btw.
If they are like most teenage girls they will have the parent blockers in their ears and be texting to each other while listening to music. You will more than likely not hear much from them except the occasional giggle that will come when one of them comes up with a rather funny text (it will most likely be you)
I got all excited for a second then realized that nationals for you guys above the border would be different than for us down here.
down here when someone makes nationals that means the house of mouse either WDW or at the anahiem convention center across from my second home.
when they are out here we are deluged with roaming hoards of dance and cheer teams some folks get annoyed with them but I find that they are polite and respectful for the most part, now the parents? but I digress.
hope you have a safe and fun trip, see some great and cheesy sites and that the girls nail this comp.
also hope we get to see a video or two or three this time.

again you are doing a really great thing for that family.

happy star wars day tomorrow folks may the fourth be with you

 

[queenbetsey]

oh and lance says good luck ponzie
he still remembers when we went up to hearst's castle with the girls. 7 hours each way. he still twitches when we bring up that drive

 

[bankr63]

You will more than likely not hear much from them except the occasional giggle that will come when one of them comes up with a rather funny text (it will most likely be you)

happy star wars day tomorrow folks may the fourth be with you

Hey cool, Pkondzi giggles. Dude that man card just keeps evading your grasp. This TR will probably get that Platinum Dad Card a "member for life" upgrade however.

And for the record, we started May the fourth with an early morning screening of SW-V The Empire Strikes Back (having already watched SW-IV earlier in the evening). Will probably finish up the first trilogy with SW-VI this evening. May the fourth be with you all...

 

[pkondz]

bit late but here,

Hey! Welcome! Better late than never.

Although I said that once about getting hit in the head with a hammer.
I really should've picked never.
Ah, well.

At least now you understand why I am the way I am.

present and accounted for.

A present? For me? You should have!
(To heck with the "You shouldn't have" malarkey)

This should be a fun read.

Oh, undoubtedly. A laugh a minute. Especially if my back goes out again.

You people are cruel.


Cruel and unusual, actually.


Must be why I like you.

what you are doing is amazing btw.

Oh, I know.
I'm quite remarkable.

If they are like most teenage girls they will have the parent blockers in their ears and be texting to each other while listening to music.

Actually, that won't be possible.
At least not for Elle... and probably not for Dee.

Elle's phone only works in our Country while Dee... I dunno.
But I suspect the roaming charges would be through the roof.

You will more than likely not hear much from them except the occasional giggle that will come when one of them comes up with a rather funny text (it will most likely be you)

They'll probably be watching Frozen.

Over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over again

Followed by me curled up in a ball in the hotel room sucking my thumb.


Of course I do that anyway... but still.

I got all excited for a second then realized that nationals for you guys above the border would be different than for us down here.

Yup. I'll try and explain it more in a following chapter.

down here when someone makes nationals that means the house of mouse either WDW or at the anahiem convention center across from my second home.

I could be wrong, but I think yours would be slightly bigger than ours!

when they are out here we are deluged with roaming hoards of dance and cheer teams some folks get annoyed with them but I find that they are polite and respectful for the most part, now the parents? but I digress.

Ever seen the show "Dance Moms"?

Baby, I've lived it.

hope you have a safe and fun trip, see some great and cheesy sites and that the girls nail this comp.

Thanks!

also hope we get to see a video or two or three this time.

Hmmm.... video? Of what exactly?
Was a trip on the Venice canal not good enough for you?!?!?!?!

Seriously, though, I'll give it some thought.
Suggestions anyone?

again you are doing a really great thing for that family.

They're going through a really lousy time right now, so it was the least I could do.

happy star wars day tomorrow folks may the fourth be with you

Right back atcha.

Although, by the time this trip is done I think I'll be looking for a fifth.... or two... or several.

oh and lance says good luck ponzie
he still remembers when we went up to hearst's castle with the girls. 7 hours each way. he still twitches when we bring up that drive

He feels my pain!
Tell him thanks!
And I'll remember that he (mostly) survived his ordeal, so hopefully so will I.

Hey cool, Pkondzi giggles.

I do no such thing!

I chortle.

In a very manly way.

Dude that man card just keeps evading your grasp.

It's always so near... then I go and do something and off it goes again.
<giggle>


Dang it!!!!!

This TR will probably get that Platinum Dad Card a "member for life" upgrade however.

Sweet! 'Cause it was getting to be a pain having to renew it all the time.

So.....
Once I have the lifetime membership I can say "no" to everything, right?

And for the record, we started May the fourth with an early morning screening of SW-V The Empire Strikes Back (having already watched SW-IV earlier in the evening). Will probably finish up the first trilogy with SW-VI this evening. May the fourth be with you all...

Sounds like fun.
Unfortunately, I'm the only one who even remotely would want to watch SW around here.
Pretty sure neither of the DDs have seen even one of the movies.

Sad. Just... sad.