HS Freshman forgets to turn in homework

[tink fan]

My son is a freshman at a Catholic high school.

He struggles with the workload, and it pretty much takes him all evening to do his homework.

The biggest problem is he often forgets to turn in the homework he had done unless the teacher asks the class for it. It is driving me crazy to see him work so hard, and then get zeros because of this.

He does have the homework completed-after the first few times I've been checking to make sure everything is done.

He knows and cares about the consequences and wants to change, but he says he just can't remember. It is really stressing him out and causing severe anxiety.

Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions?

 

[TinkerBelled]

My son is a freshman at a Catholic high school.

He struggles with the workload, and it pretty much takes him all evening to do his homework.

The biggest problem is he often forgets to turn in the homework he had done unless the teacher asks the class for it. It is driving me crazy to see him work so hard, and then get zeros because of this.

He does have the homework completed-after the first few times I've been checking to make sure everything is done.

He knows and cares about the consequences and wants to change, but he says he just can't remember. It is really stressing him out and causing severe anxiety.

Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions?

Is he bringing it to school and forgetting to turn it in, or is he forgetting it at home?

 

[CupcakeKelly]

As somebody that can forget routine things easily, I'd say to put a reminder somewhere obvious. If he is forgetting it at home, then maybe have him put a post it on his notebook reminding him to pack his homework.

If he is just forgetting to turn it in when he is in class, then again, I'd recommend a sticky note or something like that. Put it on something that he has to take out every day in the class. If they use the textbook every day, then write in big letters on the book cover "Did you turn your homework in today?"

He may just be one of those people that will be living off of post-it notes for the rest of his life, and there's nothing wrong with that (my FIL is very successful, but he has them in the house, in his car, pretty much anywhere he needs to remember something)

 

[tink fan]

"Is he bringing it to school and forgetting to turn it in, or is he forgetting it at home?"



The homework is in his backpack (or on his laptop) at school.

He's actually very organized. When he finishes his work, he packs it all up in the evening. Just doesn't remember to turn it into the teacher during class.

 

[TEENEE]

I wish I knew the answer but I don't. My dd has done the same thing all through school. In talking with other parents and teachers it is a common problem. The only explanation is that the kids are afraid of being wrong. I know it doesn't make any sense. As you bang your head against the wall for the next 4 years take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

"Is he bringing it to school and forgetting to turn it in, or is he forgetting it at home?"



The homework is in his backpack (or on his laptop) at school.

He's actually very organized. When he finishes his work, he packs it all up in the evening. Just doesn't remember to turn it into the teacher during class.

You know, I have a DS just like that. Once he was in HS, I had a talk with him and basically said "it's on you now". I had helped all the way through middle school with a verbal reminder every morning when I dropped him off. That's the most I could do.

I made the suggestion that he learn to use his binder reminder (daily homework/schoolwork reminder) or post-its. And I pointed out that many people (including me) use calendars/daily planners everyday.

Yes, it's hard to let them fail, but part of being a parent is helping them figure out how to survive in the world. Failure is part of that process. It drove me crazy when he would get failing grades on projects/papers I knew that he had done and had with him, but somehow never wound up being turned in.

I figured he needed to learn for himself how to remember things, as I won't be there when he finally has a job that requires him to remember important dates/projects.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

He needs to start turning it in at the beginning of every class period. Have him put post it notes everywhere, alerts on his phone or laptop if he's allowed to have them in class, whatever. Eventually it will become habit.

If he has it on his computer when he is done at night, why can't he email it to his teacher right then instead of waiting until he is at school the next day?

Worst case scenario- he goes to school a few minutes early and goes to each teacher and turns in all homework before the day even starts.

 

[Buckalew11]

I believe you...I just find it so hard to believe. You know, you're worked hard on this for hours or maybe over several days, weeks, whatever and then you go to the class (say, Math) and you've done the work and "forget" that's one of the things you need to do while there? Turn it in? Like I said, I believe what you are saying but I just do not really understand why he forgets. Don't others turn theirs in and it triggers in his mind, "Oh yeah, I need to turn in my work" ?

As I said in another thread, I went through this with DD is 8th grade. She would hold hers out, have a few points removed because of waiting and turn it in because it was not cool to be smart or do all your work or follow the rules...It was not a good thing. Ugh. It was a phase but she wasn't forgetting, she was doing it on purpose.

 

[SpecialK]

I think it's pretty common among freshmen. If he uses an assignment notebook/ planner, have him write "turn in homework" and highlight it in the subject space for the next day's assignment. He'll see it when he's writing down the current assignment.

 

[NotUrsula]

I hear you. Mine has mild Asperger's, and executive function is a huge issue for him. He has mostly gotten over the problem now, but we have a system worked out with his teachers: as soon as he finishes his homework he is required to scan and email it.

His teachers know that they will get an email containing a scan of every homework assignment the night before it is due. The email attachment is a backup -- they don't bother to open the message unless the assignment is not turned in in class. He's docked a few points if he doesn't turn it in conventionally, so there is motivation, but the emails eliminate the issue of getting zeroes on the work.

Oh, and Buckalew, I can tell you why mine forgot: It was done. I don't know if the OP's son has any of the same issues, but DS has problems with multi-part tasks that are separated in time. His thinking is very compartmentalized, so in his mind, once the work is finished, he puts it out of his mind and moves on the next item on his work list, and at that point, what it over is over. (Which is why having him scan the work and turn it in immediately via email worked for him; it put doing the assignment AND turning it in together on his time line.)

 

[TinkerBelled]

So, it's one of a few reasons:

1. He's forgetful. If this is the real problem, then some simple organizational tricks will fix the problem. (Post-it notes, reminders, etc.)

2. He's self-sabotaging because he's afraid of failure. It's illogical but it happens. This needs a little more attention--it's like procrastination in that it makes things worse in the long run. This is the one to be gentlest with him about.

3. He's not turning it in out of some sort of rebellion/trying to be cool/etc. This needs much more attention. My guess is that this isn't the problem, as he's stressed about it, but if so, I think you both need to have a Talk and need to let him fail.

 

[Aliceacc]

Freshman year of high school is one of HUGE adjustments.

What I don't understand, though, is what he's doing when everyone else is handing in their homework.

I know that in my classes, there's a definite routine: We begin class with a prayer (Catholic high school as well. ) Then the kids do the Do Now problem that's on the screen while I take attendance and check homework. Then we go over the homework and go on to the new lesson.

I could see if he was failing to turn in his homework in ONE class. But all of them? Don't most teachers have a routine something like mine, where homework is a predictable part of the class?

If it's a question of leaving it in that backpack in his locker, then he needs a new routine. He needs to place the homework, perhaps folded, into the notebook for each of his classes. Or into his Agenda. Or into a special folder that goes everywhere with him, dedicated soley to homework.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

Make him print it out every morning before he leaves and carry it IN HIS HAND until he gets to school. So it is right in his face. Is there something he always uses like an ipod or cell phone? Have him tape it to that so he can't miss it.

Or take away his smart phone for 24 hours every time he forgets to turn one in. Sometimes it is a matter of motivation. And finding the right motivation.

 

[scrapquitler]

As somebody that can forget routine things easily, I'd say to put a reminder somewhere obvious. If he is forgetting it at home, then maybe have him put a post it on his notebook reminding him to pack his homework.

If he is just forgetting to turn it in when he is in class, then again, I'd recommend a sticky note or something like that. Put it on something that he has to take out every day in the class. If they use the textbook every day, then write in big letters on the book cover "Did you turn your homework in today?"

He may just be one of those people that will be living off of post-it notes for the rest of his life, and there's nothing wrong with that (my FIL is very successful, but he has them in the house, in his car, pretty much anywhere he needs to remember something)

I like this idea. Post it notes are an effective reminder for me. I have lists and notes everywhere.

Do they have planner books in his school? My DD's school gives each student a planner at the beginning of the year and they are supposed to use it to write all their assignments in. A post it note on the inside of the planner (where he will presumably writing that days homework assignment) would remind him when he pulls the planner out to write the new assignment.

Every day I ask my DD as we walk out the door to leave for school "Do you have your homework?" and then I remind her to hand it in, because she has a habit of forgetting...sometimes when there's a big assignment, I text her at the time of that class to remind her (technically a no-no for her to use her phone at school...but ). This last quarter, two of her grades were affected by her forgettting to turn in homework, so I think that made the point hit home a little bit for her, I've noticed that so far this quarter the homeworks are being turned in more consistently.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I hear you. Mine has mild Asperger's, and executive function is a huge issue for him. He has mostly gotten over the problem now, but we have a system worked out with his teachers: as soon as he finishes his homework he is required to scan and email it.

His teachers know that they will get an email containing a scan of every homework assignment the night before it is due. The email attachment is a backup -- they don't bother to open the message unless the assignment is not turned in in class. He's docked a few points if he doesn't turn it in conventionally, so there is motivation, but the emails eliminate the issue of getting zeroes on the work.

Oh, and Buckalew, I can tell you why mine forgot: It was done. I don't know if the OP's son has any of the same issues, but DS has problems with multi-part tasks that are separated in time. His thinking is very compartmentalized, so in his mind, once the work is finished, he puts it out of his mind and moves on the next item on his work list, and at that point, what it over is over. (Which is why having him scan the work and turn it in immediately via email worked for him; it put doing the assignment AND turning it in together on his time line.)

Totally on point.....
OP Its the system that your son has to find (post its, the agenda book, hsi laptop with a Warning mode each class to hand in work...when it begins to become a routine, itll change....
meanwhile, its a learning curve.....I can so understand your frustration Especially when they get a lowered grade for the continued forgetting UGH!!!

Best of Luck to your son....this too shall pass.....just get that routine going...and FAST...college is so close at hand....

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Freshman year of high school is one of HUGE adjustments.

What I don't understand, though, is what he's doing when everyone else is handing in their homework.

I know that in my classes, there's a definite routine: We begin class with a prayer (Catholic high school as well. ) Then the kids do the Do Now problem that's on the screen while I take attendance and check homework. Then we go over the homework and go on to the new lesson.

I could see if he was failing to turn in his homework in ONE class. But all of them? Don't most teachers have a routine something like mine, where homework is a predictable part of the class?

I wondered this too. And it's the end of the school year. Has this been going on all year?

 

[Christine]

It's been a long while since I've been in school but I have also checked with my son (senior in a Catholic high school) and he says that most of his teachers start the class early on with: please pass your homework to the front.

So, are his teachers not doing this?

 

[Janepod]

Does he have a smartphone? Program recurring reminders into it (e.g., in Google calendar) -- like to put it in his bag the night before, at 7:00 a.m. to check, and sometime during the school day to check again.

 

[Aliceacc]

Does he have a smartphone? Program recurring reminders into it (e.g., in Google calendar) -- like to put it in his bag the night before, at 7:00 a.m. to check, and sometime during the school day to check again.

If his school is anything like mine, checking his phone during the day will be a MUCH bigger problem than not having homework.

Our kids get 5 demerits if their phone is caught out during the school day. (20 demerits get you suspended, 30 get you expelled, so 5 is a pretty big penalty.)

 

[PrincessJo]

I am a post-it note addict. They are all OVER my office. I rely on them at home too, but sometimes they get covered up by other papers or whatever and become useless. I'm so bad I don't just walk into the next room and forget why I'm there... I stand up from my chair and forget why I stood up.

It may sound silly, but I sometimes write on my hand. Writing "Pick up dry-cleaning" on a post-it won't work for me. Where do I stick the post-it?

I write it right on my left hand in black ink so when i'm holding the steering wheel, there is NO WAY I can miss it I write along my thumb so it's visible while I'm driving.