It is a tail as old as time. My wife was 6months along and was really having a craving for smores. She likes her marshmallows toasted but with burned edges. So she preceded to toast hers then towards the end when the marshmallow is really hot and sticky he quickly runs it thru the flames and then blows it out. It has work successfully multiple time this camping trip....
But things decide to go horribly wrong.
I am on the phone calling my parents to let them know their soon to be grandson is loving smores. Well they were not home so I had to leave a message, I am paying attention listening for the beep...when I see her marshmallow come out of the fire in full rolling flames. Now it looked like one of the flamming arrows, flames 2 ft high. Suddenly she whipped the marshmallow back and forth to put the flame out. That is the exact instant I realize a bright flaming object being flung not just in my direction but at me.
Time slowed down like in the Matrix and thankfully I was able to get all of my body parts out of the impending death. After dodging the fireball I look over at my lovely wife and she is starring at the tip of her stick with a rather puzzled look, wondering where did her flaming marshmallow go.
I tell my darling wife. Your marshmallow is gone, you tried to kill me with it.
Then for some reason my left foot started to feel warm. You know, it is a very odd feeling for part of your body to get hot especial for when you think there is no reason.
Now my wife is looking very sadly at her stick. Like she just lost a best friend. I look down and see that apparently I forgot to get my foot out of the flaming marshmallows path. I stare at it for what felt like a very long time, thinking that's odd my left boot is on fire, how is my boot on fire, why is my boot on fire. Then suddenly the adrenalin kicks in. HOLY !@#$%^&*() my foot is on fire.
Now I have pictured in my head that if something like this ever happened to me I would yell like a man, you know deep and with some sort or control. Let me tell you, get that thought out of your head. You will yell and screaming like a little girl.
Now what did they teach you to do in school when you are on fire? Stop drop and roll. Well the advise was not designed for when you foot is on fire from a flaming marshmallow that has attached its self. So after what felt like and hour of rolling around with no effect, it dawned on me that I need to stomp the fire out. So there I am stomping on my own foot. Well I now have both of my boots on fire.
Now I am stomping both of my boots, finally I realize that my naligne (water bottle) is sitting right next to me. I grab it and manage to pore the water on the left boot and the flame goes out. I rub the bottom of the right boot in the mud and get it to go out too.
If you remember, I was calling my parents. Well the answering machine recorded everything, luckily it also recorded me laughing and saying I am alive just before the time limit ends the recording.
