My Autistic child had a teacher grab him by the throat today!

[pls5286]

I got an email this afternoon just after Robert's school let out for the day. It let me know that Robert had been using improper language at school and he got very upset when he found out the teacher was going to e-mail us. Robert does tend to get upset when we get emails about his behavior. When he uses bad language, he has to look up good words in the dictionary and write them down in his best handwriting. This has honestly helped him a lot by increasing his vocabulary and improving his handwriting. The handwriting that was illegible at the beginning of the semester can now be read!

This afternoon, when Robert got home, we were talking with him about what started him being disrespectful to a staff member and he told us the teacher grabbed him by the throat and drug him back on the elevator because the class got off on the wrong floor! Robert said he was the only one who got drug back on the elevator but the class was there (the class is about 8 kids). He said he was told not to tell anyone about it (along with the class) or he would get in trouble. He told his teacher in the next class what happened and the teacher did not believe him and told him to sit down.

We questioned him several different ways and were not able to poke any holes in his story, so we are convinced he is telling the truth.

I immediately got in touch with the principal of the school but she will not be able to let us know anything until after 1230 tomorrow because she will be off campus, so Robert is not going to school until we get answers. I have also notified our special ed coordinator to see what can be done.

Robert has marks on his neck from this and has asked us if he is in trouble for telling us what happened. He also insists the teacher will punish him when he finds out he told. Home school sounds pretty good right now for him!

 

[I married a king]

I am soooo sorry this happened you your son. You might want to take a picture of his neck that shows the marks so you have as proof that something happened.

 

[rewardsinlife]

Sigh. Well before this thread gets a lot of replies...because I know it will. ..this is what you need to do.

1. Take a picture of his neck with the marks on it.
2. Have him write down..or you can record it if the writing is not legible enough what happened today..step by step in his own words. Don't coax or ask questions...that can seem like your are trying to get certain. Answers out of him. If he writes it..makes sure the date is written..if recorded than state the date before he starts speaking.
3. Write down what you heard from your son about the days events as well as your actions promptly after( ie you called the school..set up meeting with principal..stopped attendance..etc.)

These will all help you especially as the days go on and this incident is investigated further. No doubt it will take a bit if the other children were told by the teacher not to speak of the event since they will no doubt be interviewed along with other school personnel.

Next, let me state that I am a special education teacher...and a teacher of any kind..or anyone for that matter has no right whatsoever to put their hands on a child at all unless they are preventing them from bodily harm to themselves or another. ( and saying this...I do not mean around the neck obviously...grabbing an arm of a child running out into the middle of the street in front of a car is acceptable to prevent bodily harm).

Next...when you stated the story...now remember this is coming from a teacher side...but you should look at all perspectives ...I envisioned that the elevator door opened..your son walked out with some class members..the teacher realized it was the wrong floor and tried to pull him back using the top of his shirt that ended up making marks on his neck from getting pulled back that way. Obviously if you are pulled by the top of your shirt..child or adult..it can seem like you are being chiked. Now I can't see the marks first hand so I can't say that is is it or not. Obviously...if you have some finger marks across the back or front of the neck..this will be treated differently then if it was a shirt tug.

I know it is hard...and you and your son feel that there has been wrongdoing. The best thing to do is keep your cool, do the steps above and wait for that return call. I am sorry you all experienced such a bad day. I hope your school district takes care of this in the correct way.

Sending some pixie dust for extra encouragement

 

[bookwormde]

To be direct call the police, this is a criminal assault allegation.

 

[Christen99]

I am the parent of two kids on the spectrum, one of which has severe aggression...and I would flip a freaking switch if anyone ever laid a hand on my child in that manner. The part that gets me even more is that your son was told NOT to say anything which means this teacher was trying to cover his butt big time.

There is NO reason on this earth that a teacher should ever touch a child in that manner. Even if your child was going full throttle with severe aggression, that wouldn't even warrant that type of physical contact.

I would call the police, I would call an attorney (disability rights), and I would have a flipping field day with that teacher and school district.

I do homeschool both of my kids, but we made that choice before they were both diagnosed. We still deal with IEP's through our charter, so we do face that drama at times, but it's much easier for us to help them in the areas they need more help. LOTS of positive socialization and group learning, etc.

 

[pls5286]

I thought I would post an update to this. The principal and the SRO interviewed all of the kids in the elevator that day and half of the kids said it happened and half said it did not. From the investigation, the best that was determined was that Robert became violent and the teacher was trying to restrain him and during the struggle, his hand moved up to Robert's neck. We were not 100% comfortable with this, so we came up with this resolution. We do not want this sub around our kid ever. Period. No excuses. If he is around Robert at all, we file for a restraining order on him. There is still an open investigation on this and a report in the teacher's file so if there is another incident where there is any slight doubt further action will be taken.

Robert goes to a special school for children with behavior problems and the teachers are trained in certain types of restraint, but this in not one of them. Robert can go from 0-60 in the blink of an eye, especially if his routine is changed on him without warning and this is what happened to him that day. He is Autistic along with Bipolar and ADHD and ODD along with Rage-Anger Syndrome so routine is important to him.

 

[bookwormde]

I am glad some action was take to protect your child.

With the situation you describe with your son, the school should be contantly ramping up the analitycal work and derived supports, particularly around sensory/enviromental triggers and needs, social perception and meeting his core needs (not what the school think students should be "learning)

As much as events like this are unfortunate, that do provide openings to look deeper.

 

[Schmeck]

You should also ask what type of training/policy the school has for violent behavior, if the subs are trained, etc. We use CPI in our school system, and while it doesn't work well all the time, we are on the same page for response when a student gets violent. Know what the responses are, and go over these with your child, so your child can be made aware of what will/should happen if he loses control at school again. Sometimes kids get even more scared/out of control because they don't know what is going to happen next.

I also think that riding in an elevator should be out of the question now - especially with other students present. You cannot evacuate the other students safely when in an elevator!

 

[bocaj1431]

Robert goes to a special school for children with behavior problems and the teachers are trained in certain types of restraint, but this in not one of them. Robert can go from 0-60 in the blink of an eye, especially if his routine is changed on him without warning and this is what happened to him that day. He is Autistic along with Bipolar and ADHD and ODD along with Rage-Anger Syndrome so routine is important to him.

I am so sorry about the experience you and your son had with the school. The sad thing is that this is an all to common problem for autistic children. Trying to deal with the school systems when events like this occur, can often feel futile. It is a never ending battle. Hang in there and keep advocating for your child.

I have a question, if you don't mind answering it. I also have an autistic child but I have never heard of Rage-Anger Syndrome, what is that?