Ex-spouses and frequency of contact

[dismom2005]

My ex and I need to have somewhat regular contact due to our children and scheduling issues, but if there are no children involved, how frequently do you contact or does your ex contact you?

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

My ex and I need to have somewhat regular contact due to our children and scheduling issues, but if there are no children involved, how frequently do you contact or does your ex contact you?

I wouldn't see a reason for that if there are no children involved and the ends are all tied up.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Zero

 

[JessB320]

Zero

Yup!

 

[mimmi]

None at all.

 

[bookgirl]

My ex and I need to have somewhat regular contact due to our children and scheduling issues, but if there are no children involved, how frequently do you contact or does your ex contact you?

my mom and dad talk to each other a couple times a year, usually because they are both doing something involving me, my brother, or my nephews. Other than that not really much at all. I think the only time in the past 20 years they have had contact that did not involve us it was a few years ago when my dad had a SS/retirement question for my mom.

My ex stepfather she has had contact with once, to tell him to tell his creditors to quit calling her.... He was a couldn't keep a job dork then and now he's a deadbeat senior citizen dork. Every few years we get a few calls asking us to tell him to pay his phone/electric/etc. We no longer bother.

 

[goofyintoronto]

My ex and I are friends, so we talk more than most divorced couples do. Most of the time its about our son.

 

[nuke]

I have a teenager and I still only contact him if absolutely necessary. If there were no kids involved it would be zero contact.

 

[pickles521]

My ex and I need to have somewhat regular contact due to our children and scheduling issues, but if there are no children involved, how frequently do you contact or does your ex contact you?

I see and/or have contact with my ex at least weekly, usually several times a week. We have a few things not tied up - dogs, some financial stuff - but the contact is not always about those things. Our divorce was amicable (as much as something like this can be) and we are friends. Some days we are great friends and some days its a bit more difficult, but it's important to both of us.

I don't think a divorce has to mean hatred and avoidance. In my opinion, if it works for the couple, it shouldn't matter to anyone else - even new dating partners.

To be fair, though, I have two exes, and I haven't seen the other in over 18 years, and that is just the way i like it.

 

[wiigirl]

Zero

Thats how my brother's ex is. She moved away and havent heard from her since.

 

[Darcy03231]

My ex and I had regular contact while the kids were growing up, but since they've become adults - nothing. The last time I saw/spoke to him was at DS' high school graduation.

So far there haven't been any events involving our children that would require both of us to be there (like a college graduation or wedding), but that would be the only time I would expect to be in contact with him.

 

[gratefulfred]

I'm still married and barely have any contact

 

[Sugardimples]

If there are no children, never. It's been 37 years since I had any contact with my first husband.

 

[yoopermom]

My parents (divorced) live a quarter mile away from each other .

They are still good friends, go to my DS's events and are civil, etc.

Now if no children are involved, I can't see why you'd speak at all....

Terri

 

[pearlieq]

Nothing except to notify someone of passings/serious illness in the family if they were close during the relationship.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I was divorced from my ex in February 2007 and I haven't heard from him since April of that year. Feels like he never existed and that's just the way I like it.

 

[RadioNate]

Nothing except to notify someone of passings/serious illness in the family if they were close during the relationship.

I have minor children so my ex and I email maybe 1-2x a week. We also still jointly own a property. We don't "talk" ever. Just email logistics. I see him the once a month or so he sees the kids but it is just a child exchange. We certainly don't "hang out" or anything.

I have two good friends that were divorced with no children. They don't every communicate unless something major happens. One talked a last year when the dog they jointly owned died and then summer when one of our friends was killed she reached out to him to offer condolences. But otherwise they don't ever speak.

The other haven't spoken to each other in years. I doubt they ever will.

ETA; I know my kids need their dad but I'd be happy to never speak to him again.

 

[dismom2005]

Op here. I am asking because my boyfriend's ex-wife keeps contacting him over what I feel is trivial, nonsense stuff. It kicked into high gear when bf told her we were getting more serious (even though she has a bf herself and was the one who left the marriage). I really want bf to tell her to take a hike off a short pier, but they do have minor ties through pets.

 

[pickles521]

Op here. I am asking because my boyfriend's ex-wife keeps contacting him over what I feel is trivial, nonsense stuff. It kicked into high gear when bf told her we were getting more serious (even though she has a bf herself and was the one who left the marriage). I really want bf to tell her to take a hike off a short pier, but they do have minor ties through pets.

My view is allow it to work in whatever way works for him. He clearly doesn't want her or he wouldn't have divorced her. He chose you. Let him have his friends, whoever they are. If she starts getting affectionate or touchy, tell him it makes you uncomfortable, but a phone call? Even a lot of phone calls? If he's happy, let him be happy. You think the issues are trivial. Maybe they are. Maybe they aren't trivial to her, or to them. I wouldn't let it bother me, but it sounds like i'm in the minority here.

 

[superme80]

DH hasn't spoken to his ex wife since the divorce. They never had any kids. I am pretty sure they hate each other.