My MIL stole my kitchen!!!

[wdwcoltsfan]

I understand your frustration. I use magazines and Pinterest for inspiration, but those are pictures of peoples homes I will NEVER see. It's not like they are going to know I used the same colors or countertops.

I can't imagine copying my MIL's kitchen. That's just weird.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Charles Caleb Colton

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

I understand your frustration. I use magazines and Pinterest for inspiration, but those are pictures of peoples homes I will NEVER see. It's not like they are going to know I used the same colors or countertops.

I can't imagine copying my MIL's kitchen. That's just weird.

Exactly, and they are homes that people put out there online or in magazines... not your family. Thanks for understanding.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting.

My grandmother would do this to my parents, often. She mellowed throughout the years, but would often work to upstage one or both of my parents.

Just one example. The worst Christmas I remember is the year my mom cried. My dad saved up all year to get a special ruby pearl enhancer for her. He made the mistake of showing my grandmother, who then went out and got a crazy expensive pearl enhancer that he would never have been able to afford. Dad was so upset, my mom was upset. Miserable old bat.

It was always a control issue for my grandmother, couched in "compliment." She always had to upstage and outdo.

If it were me and it didn't cost anything, yet, I'd change everything in the kitchen.

 

[ilovemk76]

Who cares?

 

[luvmy3]

I would think it was kind of weird. I wouldn't get myself too upset over it, unless she died her hair like mine, got the same tattoo, wore the same outfits..... Hey, I bet that would make a great movie plot.

 

[nym4588]

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

No worries, OP. I'd be annoyed, too!

 

[minniecarousel]

"Who does that?" - my sister-in-law. They just had a house built and we went for a birthday party in December and they have the same granite that we have in our one year old kitchen, including the granite running up behind the stovetop.

We kinda chuckled when they got the Thomas Kinkade 55th Anniversary Disneyland painting (about a year after we bought ours.)

Honestly, I would be a bit peeved to have a close family member copy all my choices. When you go through all the work to choose and someone just copies all your research, it can be irritating.

Hang in there OP.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ohhhh, I can def. see how that would get to you.
But, you know what? Take this as a blessing in disguise.
Take the lemons and make lemonade.

Something tells me that if you wait until you see hers... And continue looking around and let your vision grow and change... You will come up with something that you love just SO much more.

There might be many things that you can be justified in being upset about with your MIL... But the others are right... try not to let this be one of them!

Hey, I know people have posted ideas and photos here on the DIS to get feedback on this kind of remodeling. Maybe you could do the same... I promise I won't steal any of your choices. ( I can't afford to re-do my kitchen right now!!!!)

 

[Wishing on a star]

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Ohhhhhh, and a big lesson learned...
Information to these kind of people is power.
You won't make that mistake again!!!!

I think I would tell her that I was using fire-engine red with yellow polka dots.

 

[Robbi]

I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting.

OP, forgot to post that I'm sorry you're MIL is such a poot. Change things up a bit and make yours better.

 

[Soulsearching]

20 years ago my girlfriend did this to me. She bought the same living room and dining room set as I did.

My husband, just laughed and said "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery".

I guess she loved my decorating.

It did tick me off at first, but then I realized it was nothing to be that ticked off about. I had to let it go. We are still friends today.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

This made me LOL and brought back memories from 40 years ago. We were moving to MA from NJ and the realtor was taking us around looking at houses, and saw a builder she knew and asked if he could show us a house in a development he was building. The only key he had was for a house he was finishing up for his sister. My parents decided that was the style house they wanted, went with the same outside finish (with some...few...changes), and chose a lot about a block away. Choosing finishes from home in NJ, my mother was so overwhelmed and had liked what the builder's sister had so much, she chose the same kitchen wallpaper (some crazy 70's kind of red/gold paisley print ) and the same blue/lime green striped wallpaper for one of the bathrooms, and a similar (gold with black flocking...oh my!) for another bathroom. I was a teenager, and somewhat horrified myself that the same neighbors would see both houses: thankfully, the builder's sister didn't have any kids my age, altho I bet she wasn't too thrilled with my mother!

 

[RunDanceSkate]

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

My MIL, LOL. I feel for you. My MIL has not done that yet, but probably because she lives in a trailer. She has copied the last 2 cars I bought right down to the color, same clothes, same furniture. Has also been known to just take things, when we moved into a house with a gas fireplace she took my poker/broom set and screen, giving them to SIL who has alot more play money then we ever will. I bought a new set because I liked the look. Oh and a similar dog and gave her my name, that was a weird one.

I have a new set of Fiesta dishes in a unique color combo, I dread her coming over, seeing them and copying. DH like to say the flattery comment but I just find it irritating.

 

[Buckalew11]

I get your annoyance. I would not like that either!

I'd change some of my choices if I were you.

 

[StephMK]

Is it too late to start talking up some great new ideas you plan to use to throw her off? That would annoy me too. One idea, a certain item, ok, I can see liking the same thing. A whole kitchen, that's way too much.

If she does it, I'd visit, make some snide comments about aspects you don't like after all, then change your plans.

 

[LBIJim]

Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.

Indeed, she must know you have good taste.

Jim

 

[Skywalker]

Who cares?

I agree. I mean really. It sounds petty to me. This sort of thing would not be on my radar nor would I care if I did find out. How does it effect you? Are you in some sort of decoratinng competition where you are afraid she will steal first prize from you?

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

20 years ago my girlfriend did this to me. She bought the same living room and dining room set as I did.

My husband, just laughed and said "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery".

I guess she loved my decorating.

It did tick me off at first, but then I realized it was nothing to be that ticked off about. I had to let it go. We are still friends today.

Thanks for sharing! As do I realize it's not the end of the world. This is my husbands mother, so it 's not like I'm going to write her off or anything....

My MIL, LOL. I feel for you. My MIL has not done that yet, but probably because she lives in a trailer. She has copied the last 2 cars I bought right down to the color, same clothes, same furniture. Has also been known to just take things, when we moved into a house with a gas fireplace she took my poker/broom set and screen, giving them to SIL who has alot more play money then we ever will. I bought a new set because I liked the look. Oh and a similar dog and gave her my name, that was a weird one.

I have a new set of Fiesta dishes in a unique color combo, I dread her coming over, seeing them and copying. DH like to say the flattery comment but I just find it irritating.

Are we related?

Is it too late to start talking up some great new ideas you plan to use to throw her off? That would annoy me too. One idea, a certain item, ok, I can see liking the same thing. A whole kitchen, that's way too much.

If she does it, I'd visit, make some snide comments about aspects you don't like after all, then change your plans.

She had another color scheme all picked out, and ran it by me. I was trying to give her my honest opinion, and told her I thought that color she chose might clash with her countertops. Thought I was helping. Now I wish I'd just said I LOVE IT!

 

[brockash]

I'm not sure...but who gets mad about something like that?? Seriously, why do you care if her kitchen or entire house for that matter is identical to yours?? Take it as a compliment and move on. I really don't see why it matters, I can't imagine that I'd be bothered by something like that.