No Santa!!!!!

[Hanover]

My boys are 15 an 11 and we still give gifts from Santa. My oldest ds found out about Santa when he was 8 or 9 thanks to my MIL. We had returned from a trip to WDW where our son had seen a gap in a Mickey head and realized it was a costume. He was telling my MIL when we returned and she was shocked that he had believed that long and snarkingly said "don't tell me you still believe in Santa and the Easter bunny too?" She almost seemed pleased with herself for telling him and DH and I were ticked. My DH was raised Jewish and said that he always believed in Santa but his mom told him that Jewish kids didn't get presents from Santa. When we first started dating, my dh said once when he was little his boy scout troop saw Santa at the mall and he told him all he wanted was a Christmas tree and Santa was shocked and really didnt' know how to respond. Our younger son is a very critcal thinker and quizzed me from a young age about how one Santa could get gifts to every child, etc. I told him he had helpers, but he was still skeptical. They are both good sports about 'believing' for younger cousins.

 

[cw517]

Has anyone ever told their child there is no santa If so how did you do it? My ds is 10 and in 5th grade, I know kids told him last year there is no santa.When he asked me about it(his little brother was in the room at the time)I told him that santa was magic and when you believe, santa brings the presents and when you don't believe your parents give you gifts.He said he still believes. I guess I'll see what he says once all the kids start talking about santa again.I just don't want him to be made fun off, so is it kinder if I tell him

I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering about this! My DD is 10 and in 5th grade, and the main reason I want to tell her the truth is that any time I say we can't afford something right now, she says, "Then we'll just ask Santa for it!" And every time I just want to reply that I AM Santa. But, I can't bring myself to actually be the one to tell her. I do like keeping the magic of Christmas alive, and she has a younger brother who still believes. I just hope this year there are enough kids talking about Santa not being real that she finds out on her own.

 

[irishsharon]

My 6 year old told me yesterday when he got of the school bus that he wants a iphone for christmas! I told him that was not happening and he said that was ok he would just ask santa By the way he sent a letter to santa in Aug.(beat the holiday rush) I have no idea what it said because he had sealed the envolope and had me address it and put a stamp on and he put it in the mailbox.I wonder what the mailman did with that letter So when santa does not bring him the iphone I'm just going to tell him that santa said its for kids 10 and over

 

[jmartinez1895]

I have a question, some of the posts here make it sound like "as soon as" the kids know, Santa disapears from the household??? I could certainly see how that would be a huge adjustment for some kids.

I lived with my Aunt and grand parents growing up. Every year my gifts from santa where signed " Love, Santa Clause". After I found out the truth, my Aunt continued to give me gifts ( and still does every year) and they are now signed " Love, Santa Carol" wich is her name.

 

[MomToOne]

I have a question, some of the posts here make it sound like "as soon as" the kids know, Santa disapears from the household???

Not in our house. Santa Mom just brings the presents now. And it's still just as magical

 

[MomToOne]

My 6 year old told me yesterday when he got of the school bus that he wants a iphone for christmas! I told him that was not happening and he said that was ok he would just ask santa

I always told DD that Santa consulted the parents about what presents they'd allow, and the parents had veto power over any given gift.

 

[libinatorsmom]

Not in our house. Santa Mom just brings the presents now. And it's still just as magical

Im with you - santa will never not be in our home.... The stockings will still be filled on Christmas after everyone is asleep and gifts will be a surprise and under the tree on Christmas morning its all part of the fun and magic of christmas morning

 

[luvmy3]

I'm pretty sure my 8 (almost 9) year old knows. He made a comment recently about Santa and the way he said "riiiiight mom" tells me he knows the truth. I'm not going to come out and just tell him, but if he asks I will. Part of me wants him to know, but since he's my baby and the last one to believe I kind of wish he would for a couple more years.

Even though they will all know at some point, it will still be "Santa" who leaves the gifts under the tree and in the stockings.

 

[Greysword]

I do find it amusingly ironic that a board with a bunch of Disney fans, who believe in the magic there, are discussing the reality of Santa Claus with their kids .

I mean, if we can fly over the rooftops of London, launch ourselves to Mars, enjoy snow in Orlando, meet a 6' mouse, watch a living vine walk, and dine in a castle with princesses, why would it be difficult to always believe in a benevolent magical being in a red suit?

Of course Santa Claus is real!!! ...and no one can take that away.

Now, the letter to Virginia and the Polar Express are the best ways to communicate this to young ones, in my opinion.

 

[Sheaboys]

Mine have always suspected. But I too still stick to my story. If you don't believe, you will not get anything. And, do you really think Dad and I have money for all that stuff?

My first born was told in 2nd grade by a classmate that there is no santa. He did not believe him. At the age of 12, he asked. I told him, no Santa is not real, and if he told his younger brothers, he will get nothing. It was a huge relief, since I was running out of hiding spots. This way I could at least tell him to keep them out of a certain area.

My boys are 14, 12, 10, 6 and 3. As of now, only the 14 yr old knows, the 12 yr old has never mentioned it, nor has the 10 yr old.

I would just tell the 10yr old, if he continues to believe, santa will bring him something. And to not discuss it at school, as each family is different. You would be surprised how many kids actually do not discuss it for the fear of not getting gifts. Or maybe that is just our small town.

 

[tasha99]

My kids all figured it out by about 2nd or 3rd grade, and when asked I confessed (Hi, my name is Natasha and I pretend to be a jolly old elf at least once a year). What was really cool, was they wanted in on the secret, so the older kids would stay up on Christmas and help me get things ready for the younger one(s). As a single mom whose assembly skills are seriously lacking, this was invaluable! Plus, I got help eating the cookies.

The Santa confession probably helped ease their minds about the tooth fairy. She often just forgot our house, and we'd have to try for a second or third night. I told them she was just a very busy fairy, and it was partly the truth. Mostly, I'm just no good at those things . . .

 

[Gina-Gina-Bo-Bina]

Interesting thread. I am really, really, REALLY going to be the oddball here!!

We have never done the "Santa Claus" thing in our house. We always celebrated the holidays for the religous focus.....the birth of Jesus. (My husband's family was the same growing up, while my family "believed" in Santa).

We never found the holidays to be any less magical as a result. We still did the Christmas pics on Santa's knee, watched all the holiday cartoons, and still wrapped presents and placed them under the tree "from Santa" (but there were also some under there from the cat, and we all know she didn't shop nor wrap them ). And the boy knew from the outset that other people chose to have their kids believe in the big guy in the red suit, and that was totally okay (and it was not okay to be the one to ruin their traditions or inform other kids of "the truth").

For us, the magic of the holidays lies not in who brings the gifts and puts them under the tree, but in the spirit of the whole season. It's the "peace on earth, good will to all men" way of marking the holidays. Donating food to the Christmas Sharing and Salvation Army organizations to help them provide a holiday meal to those in need. Contributing to the local toy drive. Visiting those who need company during the long winter months. Baking our favourite holiday treats, and delivering some to special neighbours as a way of thanking them for their friendship all year. We have always told our son that the "Spirit" of Santa lies within all of us, and the least important manifestation of that are a bucketload of presents under the tree with a tag signed by a ficticious fellow (not to say he still doesn't get that onslaught of gifts.....we just haven't seen the need to have them be "from Santa" in order to be special and exciting.....in fact, I think he has learned to be even more grateful knowing Mom and Dad worked hard to provide such wonderful presents at Christmas, and it has allowed him to appreciate our generosity and sacrifices so much more). I hope, when the time comes and he has a family of his own, he teaches his children the same thing .

OP, Christmas can still be full of wonder and excitement, even without the belief of Santa still in tact. It will just be time for new traditions and new ways of finding "magic" in such an amazing season of the year.

 

[DawnM]

It has never been a big deal for us.....there is no real man up at the North Pole who delivers gifts to kids whose parents can actually afford to buy gifts, but not to war torn countries or poor kids in Africa.....doesn't seem like a huge revelation.

 

[blueiis99]

I haven't read this whole thread...

But I never ever told my kids there is no Santa. I have always maintained that there is. They all know of course (26,24,13). But they understand that mom wants to keep the illusion alive so everyone plays along. My kids eased themselves into it, probably due to age, and their friends. But no matter what in this house Santa is alive and well... and we all enjoy the fantasy. Just like Disney!

 

[THERESA522]

My quote to my 10 and 8 year olds is this (when they question Santa's existence), "If you don't believe, you don't receive." That's it.

 

[blueiis99]

My quote to my 10 and 8 year olds is this (when they question Santa's existence), "If you don't believe, you don't receive." That's it.

Thats exactly what I used. lol

 

[MinnieForMe]

I will take Santa to the grave with me!! I told my son at 10 about the Easter Bunny and he cried. He, then, said is there no Santa too? To which, I turned the conversation and said "did you really think a big bunny brought you a basket? Of course, Santa is different, he's not an animal". To which, he hugged me and said "thanks Mom". My other two have never asked and they are 11 and 7. I will NEVER tell!

My kids also get three presents from Santa every year. They are not their big gift so they know if they don't believe, they won't receive three additional gifts. I think they are wise to keep their mouth shut! LOL.

 

[MinnieForMe]

Also, if Santa ended up not being true, how could we all enjoy our Elf on the Shelf so much! I think my daughter, 7, looks forward to Jingle and Jangle's appearance the day after Thanksgiving more than Santa.

 

[pigletto]

We were raised with the whole Santa Claus idea and continued it in our household. Both of our kids ended up asking questions around 6 or so and were pretty much in the know by 7 or 8. So we're done with the ruse but we still sign gifts from Santa. There is so much else about Christmas to celebrate and enjoy that it hasn't been a big deal.
The only hard part was realizing my youngest knew and we were done with that particular part of childhood. Just a mommy realizing her babies are getting older thing.
Christmas is still magical and wonderful

 

[irishsharon]

Also, if Santa ended up not being true, how could we all enjoy our Elf on the Shelf so much! I think my daughter, 7, looks forward to Jingle and Jangle's appearance the day after Thanksgiving more than Santa.

What is the elf on the shelf?