So you want to know about our psycho couple from our table on the Magic last year?
Well, I'm not one to gossip, so you didn't hear it from me, but there is at least one completely crazy person out there and she and her husband may be seated by you someday.
This couple was probably assigned our table on the Magic last year because we had similar ages and her husband was celebrating a birthday on the cruise, I was and the Scotish wife was as well. But our similarities pretty much ended there.
On our first night on the Magic, my sister and I again got our luggage after 5pm (we are cursed when it comes to luggage on the
DCL), so we rushed to unpack and changed for dinner. We got in line at Animator's Palate and we were led to a table that looked like it was entirely full. I couldn't even see the empty seat in the middle of two men with their backs to me. Sis and I were stuck across from each other in the middle.
To my left was the Scotish couple and across from them were the sisters from Buffalo. They had both stayed at the same resort before the cruise and were already laughing about the coincidence. To my right was the Stockholm Syndrome husband and to sister's left was the woman who could have a Lifetime movie based on her. Folks say I have the gift of gab and can generally talk to anyone about anything, but this couple were a real challenge for me and when you are on vacation, you don't want a challenge like this.
So the Scot to my left at one point turns to make introductions and says he works on deep sea oil rigs and askes what I do. I'm a fundraiser for an environmental organization and formerly worked as a marine mammal trainer/aquarist. Commence awkward silence. We're actually great friends now but it was a less than fabulous beginning.
The crazy couple tell me how they met, online, her using someone else's photo. She has a long list of allergies including shelfish and then she orders the shrimp appetizer. She has to have the menu for the next night brought to her at dinner so she can make her selections. She and her husband order multiple dishes each course. She drinks but doesn't allow her husband to drink. She verbally abuses and demeans him throughout the meal and is abusive towards our servers. She complains to the head server that our assistant server doesn't smile enough (we all made possitive comments at the end of the cruise to try to make up for it - we thought he was great, just had a quiet personality).
We tell the crazy couple that we are having dinner the next night in Topsiders or Cabanas on the Magic because we just made manicure appointments in the spa and they conflict with dinner. Crazy woman knows EVERYTHING about DCL and has been on MANY cruises and since this was our first, crazy lady assures us we know nothing. She tells us that you can't get dinner at topsiders. It is only buffet breakfast and lunch. I tell her that I read that it is sit down and you can order from a selection from the various main dinning rooms. She tells me I'm wrong.
Anyway the second night, Sister and I have a great time in the spa - the girls on the Magic were such fun in the Vista Spa. And then we have a nice dinner at Topsiders - beautiful view as we leave Key West and great dinners - steak and seafood were the options as I recall. One got steak and one got a fish dish and we split - surf and turf. I had a nice glass of wine. It was really pleasant.
Meanwhile, in one of the main dinning rooms, our table mates were learning what we sat by all the last night. Many rude comments were made - this crazy woman is really mean in what she says - I always think it is a sign of a really insecure person. And the abuse to the husband who just takes it is so awkward to be around. Well, the sisters from Buffalo and the Scotish couple now realize what horrible people we were stuck talking to and think we have run off, never to have dinner again there. They decide to try to hunt us down to beg us to return to the table.
I would have happily never returned to our table that cruise, but sister really wanted to experience Lumiere's and we brought nice dresses for the formal night so I said I would go but we were going to get there early and going to sit next to each other! Me on the end! I have to be nice to horrible people all the time at work in fundraising, I don't want to do it on vacation!
That night, the third night, we got to know the Scotish couple and the sisters better and really had some great laughs. Turns out we got along really really well together. The crazy couple on the end remained the crazy couple on the end throughout the cruise.
Everynight they gave the servers a hard time, while we joked and laughed. She had the head server bring her special menus and then order two of everything and three of every dessert.
The night they went to Palo for dinner they came to join us after their dinner and made the servers bring them dinner - this was when the restaurant was already breaking down for the night.
On my birthday I was at Palo but the next night the servers brought the birthday cake - which were big sheet cakes on the Magic last year - and I had Jason, our wonderful server, cut everyone a slice. The next night it was the Scottish lass' (who looks just like the star of Brave) birthday and she shared with everyone. Next night was the abused husband's and after we sang happy birthday, the wife got up with the entire cake and walked out.
On the last sea day this made-for-reality-tv couple won the jackpot bingo. I happened to run into them right after on deck and congratulated them and said that "dinner is on you tonight then". She got really wierd and didn't seem to get the joke that dinner is free. She told the table that night that they had thought about buying a bottle of champagne for the table but then decided not to.
"So put that in your head and let it roll around." That is one of the catchphrases the crazy woman used. I'm still letting it roll around.
