A Vacation From My Problems (A Sept. 2010 Trip Report) - COMPLETED 12/14

[glennbo123]

Actually, the "Italian" is part of the line. Which I always thought was strange. I mean, McCloskey knows he's in an Italian restaurant, right? I always thought Solozzo should have answered, "It's a heck of a lot better than their Thai dishes."

I must have jotted it down wrong....it gets a little dark in that smoke-filled basement screening room, you know.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Ah, Mark, that stinks you didn't get the table of your dreams! And that Julie wasn't willing to suck spaghetti off your face. Not sure I know very many who would be willing to do that in public. Actually, I'm not sure I know very many who are willing to do that in private, but hey, at least you tried. You're lucky you married such a patient woman; I'd have spanked your hand with my fork, while gently reminding you that I'd been on my feet all day and was starving.

Yes, why is it a week there can feel like 3 days?

Well, I'm pretty sure "sucking spaghetti off your face" wasn't part of our wedding vows, so I'll forgive her...this time.

I wonder why so many people compliment my wife for being "patient". Nobody ever tells me that...

Too bad you didn't get the table you wanted! I would have been SO disappointed, especially being an avid DISer. At least you got to see a little of the parade from a distance. So sad your trip is almost over!

Me too, Jen. Me too. When I do the TR's, it's like re-living the vacation a 2nd time. I hate having to wrap it up.

Dave is my kinda guy!

Me too...when he's in a good mood and not having a tantrum! But I guess you could say that about any of us.

Not a quote but the "I'm starving" part reminded me of that SNL skit where David Spade, Chris Farley, and Adam Sandler are dressed as girls. Chris Farley is eating french fries and David Spade says, "I thought you were on a diet". And Farley's voice goes real deep and he/she says, "Lay off me, I'm starvin'!"

Great report - have never eaten at Tonys - glad to hear you enjoyed it. As many times as we have been there my husband didn't believe me when I told him there was a restaurant there. I don't know what he thought all those people were doing over there on the other half of the building that he goes in to to look at camera stuff every trip.

In his defense, it is hard to see the sign for the place. You'd think the tables on the porch would tip him off, though.

But I also had to re-evaluate my movie viewing.....why is it I was so confident on what are typical "guy-movies". Of course, the Godfathers and Shawshank are classic movies.....but supposedly so is Steel Magnolias and I couldn't tell you one thing from that.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with this whatsoever.

That is the number 1 criteria I always go by.

And really, shouldn't that be all there is to it? I've always thought that with high-end restaurants, at some point you stop paying for the food and start paying for lots of unnecessary frou-frou.

I've always wondered why pasta dishes always cover those delicious noodles with bland, flavorless sauces. I'm glad to see he's bucking that trend.

Dave has some...odd eating habits. I'll leave it at that.

That last bus ride away from the park is always gut wrenching.
It would be a lot more fun if the office was Disney World. You're already an engineer so the way I see it, that puts you halfway to being an imagineer. Now if you only had an imagination...

I wish I could be an imagineer. Unfortunately, I think I should have majored in mechanical or electrical engineering. They don't seem to have much need for us civil engineers. Not that I don't keep checking the job postings...

+10 bonus points for you!! It's about time someone recognized how patient I am!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I was worried that he had fallen asleep at the table.

Nah, he'd much rather complain about the food we are forcing him to eat.

Oh, the last day blues. I hate them!

We always go to the parks in the morning before we head out, but we pack up the car first. It's like a stupid roller coaster. You are sad from packing, but you are going to the park, then you put the stuff in the car, but you are going to the park!

Then, you do the last little things you want to do, finish your shopping, and get back on the bus/monorail, and get in the car. The first 20 minutes are sad.........until everyone but the driver passes out for a couple hours.

That's not a bad idea, getting in one last ride. I think Julie and I would have liked to do that, actually, but my parents didn't want to get back home too late. If we had been by ourselves, we'd probably have stayed as late as humanly possible and taken the last flight out of Orlando.

Did you do the suave move where you go to shake her hand, but you have a folded up $50 bill in your palm. Then you complement her on how the florescent lights seem to dance in her eyes? Then casually mention how wonderful it would be to get a table on the porch? I mean, it wouldn't work, but it would be hilarious to watch.

I wish I had tried that! On the very last day in WDW, though, it's highly unlikely that you have $50 left in your pocket.

Opinions are like... well, you know. Everyone's got one. Personally, I like Tony's. Then again, I like the Olive Garden.

The Olive Garden? How gauche.

Just kidding. I've been known to enjoy the fine Italian chicken sandwich from Burger King from time to time.

Where are this boy's manners?!? I mean come on! Take you hat off before you go diving for meatballs.

Consider him properly scolded.

I got Bambi an anniversary card this year that showed two people on the front sharing a plate of spaghetti. The inside had some corny saying like "have an anniversary you'll never for-getti" or something like that. I crossed it out and wrote "There's no one else in the world that I want to Lady-and-the-Tramp with for the rest of my life"
Yes, i just verbized Lady and the Tramp.
And yes, I just made verbized a word.

This paragraph is a total win. First, there's no way that card didn't absolutely melt her and make her swoon. Secondly, verbizing is very cool, and very cromulent as well.

nice update mark!! im falling behind.

With good reason!

I love this trip report.
You're hilarious, really, I've cracked up reading it so many times. And I agree with you on hating falls, FALLS ARE NIGHTMARES, I'm even terrified of Splash Mountain, so, I get you.

Thank you! I'm glad you joined in. Please help defend me when the others are making fun of my wussines--er, caution regarding big drops.

I must have jotted it down wrong....it gets a little dark in that smoke-filled basement screening room, you know.

I hear ya. No worries, though. The important thing is that you got the point.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Current Standings After 22 Entries and the Beverly Slogan Contest

FreezinRafiki 50.5
Glennbo123 50
Trennr 33
Afwdwfan 29.5
That's Nice 14
Marvali 13
MissLiz 11
Mom3sonstt 8
Middlepat 6
Goofy+3 5
Melk 5
Wherem I Now 3
Flossbolna 3
Sonnyeclipse 3
jedijill 3
Mrs. Knowitall 2
Belle_princess 2
Pennylane1084 2
All7OfUs 2
LegoMan3 1
Emma's Dad 1
3timesmom 1
Dvczerfs 1
sara98629 1*

 

[onescgirl]

I just finished reading your TR & really enjoyed it.
You are very funny & you've got a great looking family!
We were at WDW the EXACT same week as your family and even had some of the same park days. I didn't see my family in the background in any of your pics though!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Man, I hate the end of vacation. I've mentioned this before, but our family vacation is The Big Event for us each year. It's the part of the year we look forward to the most, and the tradition that is the most cherished. I can't think of anything that beats the thrill of exploring a new place. It's that time when our worries are forgotten and the stresses of life fade away. Our Rosebud, if you will. So when it's finally over, and we have to return to sitting in a cubicle and doing paperwork or cooking meals or dealing with temper tantrums or cleaning up a room that was spotless yesterday and now looks like a tornado struck that was localized entirely in that one room or paying bills or mowing the lawn or fixing things that shouldn't break so quickly, it's kind of a bummer.

Which is why the planning for the next year's vacation usually starts as soon as we get home.

We woke up, got dressed and headed to Riverside Mill for breakfast. In 2006, we'd had breakfast at Boatwrights and had the best french toast of our lives--big slices of French bread deep-fried and covered in cinnamon and sugar. Unfortunately, the bean counters at Disney closed Boatwrights for breakfast sad1: good thing we got the recipe), so we made do with the food court. It was standard fare, nothing too memorable, but it did use up our remaining dining plan credits. I found myself wishing I could get another mini-apple pie from the bakery there.

We had decided to spend the morning swimming at Ol' Man Island. What a great pool area that is. I think it's really cool that it's actually out on an island. Why? I don't know, I just do. You should know by now that I'm not a real deep thinker.

Julie wandered around with the camera to get some more flavor of Port Orleans Riverside.

Thank goodness it was warm enough to swim. We had a great time splashing around in the pool. I took the kids for rides through the various water spouts, some of which really get you drenched. Everybody was having a blast. I'd say the only downside was that the water tends to expose my receding hairline. But the water does give us a chance to test the depth charges.

The lifeguards opened up the waterslide, and Sarah and I were in line soon afterwards. Waterslides rock. Period.

We both went down quite a few times. And then I asked David if he wanted to try it. In typical Dave fashion, he hemmed and hawed and stewed and cogitated. Then he got in line. Then he wanted me to go first. Then he wanted Sarah to go ahead of both of us. Then he started to back away. Then I coaxed him back. Then Sarah went down the slide. We watched her land safely in the pool. Then I told him I'd go, and I'd be there to catch him at the bottom. And I took a ride.

And Dave stood at the top of the slide and waited. And waited. And waited.

And yes, there was a line behind him, in case you were wondering.

I kept yelling for him to come down! Julie saw him and yelled at him to come down! After what felt like ages, the pressure finally got to him, and he went down the slide.

Please avert your eyes from my pasty white skin:

The Ol' Man Island Waterslide... CONQUERED!

Finally, it was time to go. We reluctantly climbed out of the pool and went back to the room to dress and finish packing.

The Magical Express experience was mostly flawless, especially now that they're checking in Southwest luggage at the hotel. That was a huge help. The only problem was when our bus stopped at Old Key West and there was no room onboard to take the people waiting.

We got into MCO and scratched our heads over the security lines set up by TSA. They had about 5 podiums for workers checking ID's, and then they funneled everyone down to only 2 working x-ray machines. This caused a slight backup. And by "slight", I mean "Times-Square-on-New-Year's-Eve-level crowds".

After zapping my luggage and my body with radiation and determining that I was not in fact Keyser Soze, we went to the Not-A-Monorail and made our way to the gate. Lunch was at Chez McDonald's. Amazing how you can spend a whole week at Disney World, taking on debt nearly equal to Washington's while buying your kids souvenirs, and yet they'll still be ultra-concerned over which Happy Meal toy they get.

The flight back to BWI was perfect, which means uneventful. My dad and I took a couple of bags and retrieve the Oblivious Van from long-term parking and then gathered everyone else. That left only one more adventure: dinner.

We crossed the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and then started looking for a place to eat. We happened upon a strip mall with a Burger King out front near Queenstown, MD. My mother has a gluten allergy and said she knew she could get a bun-free Whopper at BK. We drove into the lot and parked at the Burger King. As we unloaded, we spotted a Subway in the strip mall, and Julie and the kids voted for that instead. So, my parents went inside the BK and we trekked all the way across the parking lot to the Subway.

We went inside and made our order, and then turned around in surprise to see my mother entering the Subway. We asked her what she was doing, and she said, "They didn't understand what I wanted, and I got angry and left."

Ok... so where's Dad?

"He got his food and he's eating."

I guess BK doesn't have the chef come out to you and explain what you can and can't order like Disney. Welcome back to the real world. So, while Julie got the kids settled, I trekked back across the parking lot to BK, and found my Dad munching on a burger.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know. I made my order and left your mom in line while I went to the bathroom. When I came out, my food was ready and she was leaving."

I asked him if he wanted to come join us, and he said, "Sure. I would have preferred to eat at Subway in the first place. I just came here because it's where your mom wanted to go."

So, I drove the van across the parking lot to Subway since everyone was over there. Dad finished his dinner and then joined us. I'm not sure what the lesson is here, other than if you need gluten-free food, don't go to the BK in Queenstown. But hey, we all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?

The trip home was routine. We dropped my parents off at their house and then drove home. Night fell, and it got very quiet in the back seat. I looked back, and I saw dead people. Three kids, all zonked out in the back seat. No wonder the van seemed so quiet. We put the kids in bed and then started unpacking. I dug out my carry-on bag and started unloading the books, magazines, iPod, camcorder, and...hey? What's this? Wedged under the hard base of the bag?

Two blank mini-DV camcorder tapes.

Coming Up Next: We'll determine the Contest Winner! And I'll post some random lists ranking our experiences at Disney, plus other items that have nothing to do with anything, just because it's fun to rank things in lists. And then I'll post some final thoughts.

P.S. There is a theme for this chapter's movie quotes.

 

[glennbo123]

Rosebud = Citizen Kane

 

[glennbo123]

Test the depth charges = No Way Out

 

[glennbo123]

We all go a little mad sometimes = Psycho

 

[glennbo123]

I saw dead people = The Sixth Sense

 

[glennbo123]

We had decided to spend the morning swimming at Ol' Man Island. What a great pool area that is. I think it's really cool that it's actually out on an island. Why? I don't know, I just do. You should know by now that I'm not a real deep thinker.

I love the pool at POR! It's such a fun place.

Please avert your eyes from my pasty white skin:

Auugggghhhh! I accidentally looked! It's like looking at an eclipse and an arc welder at the same time!

I asked him if he wanted to come join us, and he said, "Sure. I would have preferred to eat at Subway in the first place. I just came here because it's where your mom wanted to go."

You mean, this kind of thing happens in other families too??? I feel so much better.

What's this? Wedged under the hard base of the bag?

Two blank mini-DV camcorder tapes.

Noooooooooooo!

And I'll post some random lists ranking our experiences at Disney, plus other items that have nothing to do with anything, just because it's fun to rank things in lists.

Ooo ooo, looking forward to lists and rankings!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I just finished reading your TR & really enjoyed it.
You are very funny & you've got a great looking family!
We were at WDW the EXACT same week as your family and even had some of the same park days. I didn't see my family in the background in any of your pics though!

and

I appreciate you coming in and reading my drivel! Now I'll have to go read your report and see if we're in your pictures!

 

[Shannon84]

Aww I hate the end of vacation and the end of your hilarious trip report

Looks like you guys had fun in the pool though!! Don't worry about the lack of tan...I only have two options pasty white or burnt bright red...I rarely tan

 

[MissLiz]

Keyser Soze -- The Usual Suspects

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Rosebud = Citizen Kane

Test the depth charges = No Way Out

We all go a little mad sometimes = Psycho

I saw dead people = The Sixth Sense

+4

Looks like a late 4th-quarter drive may have sealed the game. Nice work on the 2-minute drill.

Auugggghhhh! I accidentally looked! It's like looking at an eclipse and an arc welder at the same time!

Yes, I'm a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet you can't look away.

You mean, this kind of thing happens in other families too??? I feel so much better.

Aww...the universality of family dysfunction.

I was reading a Dave Barry column about Thanksgiving the other day. He started by saying, "Thanksgiving is that time of year when we gather with friends and family and re-discover the reasons why we don't live with them the rest of the year."

Noooooooooooo!

It's like you were there with me! With the slow-motion and the deep distorted voice effects, too!

Aww I hate the end of vacation and the end of your hilarious trip report

Looks like you guys had fun in the pool though!! Don't worry about the lack of tan...I only have two options pasty white or burnt bright red...I rarely tan

I often tell people that I only come in 2 colors: red and white.

Keyser Soze -- The Usual Suspects

+1

 

[MissLiz]

I meant to come back yesterday and actually comment on the chapter, but then I got busy at work (oh, the horror).


Awww, Dave. You've gotta feel for the kid, really. He wants to be brave, but then he just has a hard time with the follow-through. Glad he pushed on and conquered the waterslide! Good for him!


My husband hates that I start planning our next trip right away. He keeps saying that we aren't going next year....every year, same thing. "We aren't going to WDW next year. We are going to do something else." And what always happens? We go to WDW the next year.

 

[afwdwfan]

And really, shouldn't that be all there is to it? I've always thought that with high-end restaurants, at some point you stop paying for the food and start paying for lots of unnecessary frou-frou.

Yeah, I'm a little too redneck for the frou-frou stuff. I was at a conference this weekend and the first part of the week. Our company had a dinner Monday night at a steakhouse (prices ranged from $36 - $105... and that was just a piece of meat with no sides). I love steak, so I was kind of excited to be eating at an expensive steak place on somebody else's dime. My food came, I cut into it and took a bite and quickly decided that the sirloin I had last week for 10 bucks at a chain restaurant tasted better than this pricey fillet mignon. By the way, my favorite steak place is the Hereford House in Kansas City.

Man, I hate the end of vacation.

I know how you feel... it's always nice to get back home, but the return to the real world sucks.

Which is why the planning for the next year's vacation usually starts as soon as we get home.

Yep I'm always planning a vacation. Now if I just had the time and money to make them all a reality!

We got into MCO and scratched our heads over the security lines set up by TSA. They had about 5 podiums for workers checking ID's, and then they funneled everyone down to only 2 working x-ray machines. This caused a slight backup. And by "slight", I mean "Times-Square-on-New-Year's-Eve-level crowds".

I hate flying anymore... I used to love it. I understand why the TSA has to do what they do, but by the time you get to the airport early to check in, go through security and everything else... BLECH! I'm kind of at the point where if I can drive it, I will. Especially after taking 17 hours by air to get somewhere I could have driven to in 8.

I asked him if he wanted to come join us, and he said, "Sure. I would have preferred to eat at Subway in the first place. I just came here because it's where your mom wanted to go."

Sounds like a classic case of miscommunication with a comical outcome... although I'm sure it wasn't quite as funny in person when it was happening.

What's this? Wedged under the hard base of the bag?

Two blank mini-DV camcorder tapes.

Well, just look at it this way, if you'd have found them earlier, it would have deprived us of one of the best running gags of your TR!

Coming Up Next: We'll determine the Contest Winner! And I'll post some random lists ranking our experiences at Disney, plus other items that have nothing to do with anything, just because it's fun to rank things in lists. And then I'll post some final thoughts.

Lists are fun.
I look forward to seeing what you have in store for us. Actually anything to keep the fun going is appreciated, it has been a well written TR and a whole lot of fun. I hate to see it come to an end.
At least we'll probably be able to torment Barry and some other Dads as they write TRs in the near future.

 

[glennbo123]

Yes, I'm a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet you can't look away.

Nice!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I meant to come back yesterday and actually comment on the chapter, but then I got busy at work (oh, the horror).

Stupid work. As I tell my boss, no one ever sat on their deathbed and said, "Gee, if only I'd spent a few more days at the office." Then he tells me to shut up and get back to work.

Awww, Dave. You've gotta feel for the kid, really. He wants to be brave, but then he just has a hard time with the follow-through. Glad he pushed on and conquered the waterslide! Good for him!

I love the fact that he pushed himself on this trip. He's so cautious. But once he finally gets up the nerve, tries something and sees that it's fun, you can't contain his enthusiasm.

My husband hates that I start planning our next trip right away. He keeps saying that we aren't going next year....every year, same thing. "We aren't going to WDW next year. We are going to do something else." And what always happens? We go to WDW the next year.

Yeah, I'm a little too redneck for the frou-frou stuff. I was at a conference this weekend and the first part of the week. Our company had a dinner Monday night at a steakhouse (prices ranged from $36 - $105... and that was just a piece of meat with no sides). I love steak, so I was kind of excited to be eating at an expensive steak place on somebody else's dime. My food came, I cut into it and took a bite and quickly decided that the sirloin I had last week for 10 bucks at a chain restaurant tasted better than this pricey fillet mignon. By the way, my favorite steak place is the Hereford House in Kansas City.

Hereford House...I need to write this down. I have not heard of it, but if it has great steaks, it has to be my kind of place.

I know what you mean about comparing expensive places with chains. At some point, there's only so much you can do to the food. I remember going to Ruth's Chris in Philly for dinner one time. The steak was good, and I enjoyed it. But when I factored in the price (plus no sides included), I didn't think the steak was $35 better than Outback's. The price definitely factors into the enjoyment for me. Sounds like we're on the same page.

I know how you feel... it's always nice to get back home, but the return to the real world sucks.

Yep I'm always planning a vacation. Now if I just had the time and money to make them all a reality!

We need to buy more lottery tickets, I guess. Still, it's fun to daydream!

I hate flying anymore... I used to love it. I understand why the TSA has to do what they do, but by the time you get to the airport early to check in, go through security and everything else... BLECH! I'm kind of at the point where if I can drive it, I will. Especially after taking 17 hours by air to get somewhere I could have driven to in 8.

I actually still love flying, to be honest. I've always been fascinated by airports and planes. The security lines are a hassle, but I fly so infrequently that I guess it doesn't bother me as much as people who have to do it more regularly. And I do appreciate how hard it is to keep the air safe.

Sounds like a classic case of miscommunication with a comical outcome... although I'm sure it wasn't quite as funny in person when it was happening.

Oh no, it was pretty funny at the time! I could laugh because none of the exasperation was directed at me.

Well, just look at it this way, if you'd have found them earlier, it would have deprived us of one of the best running gags of your TR!

The moral of this story is: I'm an idiot. But you probably knew that already.

Lists are fun.
I look forward to seeing what you have in store for us. Actually anything to keep the fun going is appreciated, it has been a well written TR and a whole lot of fun. I hate to see it come to an end.

Thanks, Andy. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

At least we'll probably be able to torment Barry and some other Dads as they write TRs in the near future.

Don't think I'm not looking forward to it!

Nice!

I thought you might like that one.

 

[All7OfUs]

First off.. Glenn, you spend WAY too much time in front of the cathode ray tube, Dude. Either that or you also have a home theater in that smoky sub-floor of yours.

Mark, You have some very good shots of the POR pool area. The glow that radiates off your Northern hued skin gives the perfect backlighting.

I can't believe you didn't go to Taco Bell instead of BK. Just sayin'.

I'll bet you weren't nearly as excited to go the other way on the Not-a-Monorail, were you?