Boy suspended for wearing his hair too long

[NHdisneylover]

Wow. I am actually rather stunned by how many people feel a PUBLIC school in the USA should be able to dictate a child's hair length Obviously I disagree with the rule and the school's stand. Not knowing the motehr or boy I have no idea if the boy really cares about his hair style or not to decide if the mother should be fighting this at this time (I do know my son was very particular about his hair style and dress even at age 3 so it IS possible the kid cares).

A few things touched on in the thread:
Braids--it sounds from the description as if the 'braids' teh district will accept are what are often called cornrows. These DO hurt to get just watch all the kids crying on Castaway Cay while they have their hair done to know this. Also, if the mom does not know how to make them it could be expensive to pay for them.

People keeping saying that rules are rules and to enroll him in another school. I would totally agree IF this were a private school. It is a PUBLIC school (in a country which, thankfully) requires that all children get an education. So, essentially you are saying the state has a right to force this mom to pay for her son's education (either by paying for private school or for items needed to homeschool, plus loss of income to do so) if she does not want to cut his hair into a state approved haircut I just can't see going there at all.

If people think boys should be able to wear long hair to school, then they should work on changing the rules. I have nothing against long hair on boys. I just think people should do things without breaking the rules. Get the rule overturned, or whatever they need to do. If enough people have a problem with it, it seems like they could get it changed.

Sadly it does not always work that way. Americans have found breaking the rules to be a good way to get them changed (or start a fight which gets even bigger changes) since at least the boston Tea Party. Women tried for years to work within the system to change voting laws, African Americans tried for years to change the Jim Crow laws, Honmosexuals have been fighting a long time to change marraige laws and it is not working. Obviously the length of a little boy's hair is nto nearly such a big issue as these things, BUT they are cases everyone is familiar with (lots of little things work like this too) to illustrate the point that you cannot always change a rule working within the system.

TRUE STORY
My children began attending a German puclic school this fall. Before we went shopping for school clothes I called my friend and I asked her if she knew how I could find out what the school dress code was. She didn't understand what I meant. I gave her examples from the dress code in our district in New Hampshire (which is a basic code, shorts and skirts longer than finger tips, no profanity on clothing, no uderwear showing, only natural hair colors). She was fascinated and asked how can a public do that in the land tha pride itself on being a FREE country? She said not to send them naked or in obscenity covered clothing of coruse but beyond that the German schoosl were not trying to control how kids look.

Fast forward a few weeks and somewhow the issue came up in DD's class (they talk about all kinds of stuff--just to practice German sometimes). There are kids from 11 countries in her class. DD took in the handbook from New Hampshire. Everyone (teacher and kids) was shocked. Only the little girl from Iran had had a dress code at school before. Once again there was a lot of discussion of how it seemd contrary to other's view of America as a free country if the public school can control what color your hair is or how long your skirt is, etc.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I think the rule is idiotic and really accomplishing nothing but as I said in my original post, it just isn't a big enough issue for me to fight. Seeing as he has 14 more years of education I'll save my time and effort for something that is worth fighting for. This would be a good lesson for the child in picking battles. There are plenty things that schools do that I don't agree with and I don't want to waste my effort on something so trivial.

My employer has some rules that I am not a fan of and while I think they are kind of counter productive I challenge the ones I think are important (with rational conversation mind you, not by ignoring them) and live with the ones that I don't.

If this is a big deal for the mother then of course she should challenge the rule, but not by breaking it. The boy should have his hair cut because all that is happening now is the poor kid is a pawn and the one who is being punished. If the fight against the rule is successful the hair can be grown back out. If it is unsuccessful at least she fought the good fight.

I don't think I have been to school where there have been rules on hair length on boys, but then again we have had sikhs and they don't cut their hair. How are schools in America going to deal with this, there are sikhs in the US I found this story about a boy who was assaulted by two others and they cut his hair.


Sikh boy attacked, hair cut

BY Brendan Brosh, Alison Gendar and MICHAEL WHITE DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

Friday, May 25th 2007, 4:00 AM

Two Queens teens dragged a Sikh classmate into their high school bathroom, tore off his turban and cut his hair in a revenge attack for a joke, authorities said yesterday.

The three boys, all students at Newtown High School in Elmhurst, had been friends but a "Yo Mama" taunt triggered a falling-out, police sources said.

Sikhs are required by religious law to wear headdresses and keep their hair uncut.

The suspects, Waqas Ali, 15, and Umair Ahmed, 17, snipped off 15-year-old Harpaal Vashar's hair with scissors about 12:20 p.m., cops said. Someone in the bathroom reported the incident to school officials, who called police.

"This is a mistake. This boy is a very good friend of my son. Last week, he was in my home," Waqas Ali's father, Liaqat, said from the family's Elmhurst home.

The alleged attackers, both Muslim Pakistani immigrants, were charged with unlawful imprisonment, coercion, menacing and aggravated harassment.

The hate crimes unit is investigating, police officials said. Teachers and students at Newtown High School said attacks such as yesterday's are uncommon.

"There are no problems at this school at all," said Sukhrit Kaur, 18, a Sikh, referring to religious friction.

"It absolutely does not reflect this building at all," said a Newtown teacher.

The Vashar family declined to comment.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_...kh_boy_attacked_hair_cut-1.html#ixzz0cTEOHIM9

 

[Art 1]

I thank the Lord each day that I have been able to send my 3 to very high end private schools, we don't have these problems. The parents and students are more interested in getting educated and into college or military academy. He would not be allowed to go to school there with that silly hair doo and I can't imagine any parent wanting him to.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I feel bad for the little boy that he has a mother that would want him to have long hair and put him thru this.

exactly. I have a friend whose mom made her wear pants to school back when they were not allowed. Parents don't need to use their kids as pawns. If you are going to enroll a child, follow the rules.

 

[golfgal]

exactly. I have a friend whose mom made her wear pants to school back when they were not allowed. Parents don't need to use their kids as pawns. If you are going to enroll a child, follow the rules.

I agree. In polite, civilized society there are laws, rules and socially acceptable norms. You can choose to follow these or not, however, if you choose to NOT follow them, you have to be willing to take the consequences-and obviously this woman is not. Contrary to popular belief you can NOT do anything you want just because you live in the US.

 

[luvmy3]

It makes no difference that this a public school, being funded by tax dollars DOES NOT mean that those schools are not allowed to enforce their own rules when it comes to things like dress code. In this particular school, long hair on males goes against the dress code, which I'm sure is stated in the school's handbook that this mother was most likely supposed to read. I know at my school I am supposed to read it with my children every year and send a signed paper stating we have read through it. In it is a clearly stated dress code, and if it is violated the child will be sent home or the parent would have to bring something appropriate, the parent has a choice, just like this mother does. She can either have the child sent home (or in this case in school suspension) or she can make his appearance appropriate (according to the rukes of the school).
While I see no problem with long hair on boys, and I feel suspension is a bit harsh for a 4 year old, this school has no choice in the matter. It can't excuse this child from its rules just because his mother wants to make a point. If her goal is to change the rule, then she should go through the proper channels and try to do, just like anyone else.
I'm with the school on this one, its not them going against her child, its her.

 

[PollyannaMom]

.....People keeping saying that rules are rules and to enroll him in another school. I would totally agree IF this were a private school. It is a PUBLIC school (in a country which, thankfully) requires that all children get an education. So, essentially you are saying the state has a right to force this mom to pay for her son's education (either by paying for private school or for items needed to homeschool, plus loss of income to do so) if she does not want to cut his hair into a state approved haircut.....

I was thinking the same thing. This isn't about a choice between different private schools that the parents would be paying for anyway, it's happening in a public school - where there have been so many other rules challenged to give girls the same rights as boys (hence, Title IX). But now that it's a case where a boy should have the same rights as the girls, it's not OK?

 

[NHdisneylover]

exactly. I have a friend whose mom made her wear pants to school back when they were not allowed. Parents don't need to use their kids as pawns. If you are going to enroll a child, follow the rules.

My grandmother sent my mom to school in pants when it wasn't allowed. my mom was 8 and had just recovered from the flu. It was snowing (rare in East Texas so for them it felt cold). My grandmother did not feel it was warm enough for my mother to wear a dress and tights (pants were not allowed under dresses either and this was looooong before leggings). This eventually resulted in a town-wide fight and the board changing the rules to allow girls to wear pants My mother did not feel she was being used as a pawn--she felt her mother was supporting her and putting her best interests forward. Personally I am very proud of my grandmother for getting the Marshall school board to change that rule, and I am proud of her for breaking the rule in the first place.

I was thinking the same thing. This isn't about a choice between different private schools that the parents would be paying for anyway, it's happening in a public school - where there have been so many other rules challenged to give girls the same rights as boys (hence, Title IX). But now that it's a case where a boy should have the same rights as the girls, it's not OK?

I have a very hard time with double standards in either direction and I absolutely agree with you taht this is a horrible double standard.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

But your mom wanted to wear them. My friend didn't.

Parents shouldn't use kids to fulfill their agenda.

 

[Heidict]

Wow, so a publically funded school can dictate how long a boy is allowed to wear his hair and people are really okay with that? I’m sure you would be perfectly fine if the school also said that all girls had to wear skirts or dresses, right? How about if they had a rule that said girls and boys were not allowed to sit next to each other? Girls on one side, boys on the other or some such thing. After all, it could be distracting if they all sat together and inter-mixed. So, that would be fine? After all it’s a rule and is being used to create a better learning environment with fewer distractions

The school board can make up what ever absurd and stupid rule and people would follow it? After all we have to all learn to live with rules. My goodness, this isn’t a job, wear a dress code is perfectly acceptable and expected its kindergarten.

Thinking that the length of a boy’s hair is distracting is some pretty antiquated and narrow minded thinking. Personally, I don’t like long hair on guys, but I have never found it to be distracting, just not particularly attractive, but that is just my personal preference.

I think the girls need to abide by this same rule. After all, hair is hair. What does it really matter who's head it is on? Girl or boy, long hair is apparently a real distraction for them.

The school board saying "students who dress and groom themselves neatly, and in an acceptable and appropriate manner, are more likely to become constructive members of the society in which we live." shows that they are close-minded and judgmental people. Glad I don't have to deal with them.

 

[Octoberbride03]

He's 4????

He doesn't care how long his hair is at 4? The mom cares. And this is 1 of the few things that bugs me about FOXNews. If there's a child breaking a hair rule at school then they chase after it like an ambulance. Generally I love FOX but they really need to get off this bandwagon IMO. The last interview I saw was about a 5yo wearing a Mohawk to school last spring. Well that was against the rules and the school gave him a Military cut instead of suspending him. The parents were all upset even though NO MOHAWKS was in the rule book. The kid had already had his hair grow back and was trying not to laugh on tv. They don't care about their hair when they're that young.

 

[padams]

To those Dis'ers who don't believe a public school should have hair cut standards as part of the dress code, what do you think about public schools with uniform requirements?

Here's a link about public school uniforms. http://www.educationbug.org/a/public-school-uniform-statistics.html

 

[bettymae1121]

To me, a dress code is about what you wear, not your physical appearance. A public school district should have no say in the length of anyone's hair. How is it fair that a girl can have hair to her waist but a boy must have it higher than his collar?

I'd seriously consider fighting it too, in this mother's case. It's one thing to ban certain types of clothing. When a child is at home they can wear what they like (or what their parents will let them). But hair is something one has to have 24/7 and no one should have a say over it other than the parent.

 

[luvmy3]

Wow, so a publically funded school can dictate how long a boy is allowed to wear his hair and people are really okay with that? I’m sure you would be perfectly fine if the school also said that all girls had to wear skirts or dresses, right? How about if they had a rule that said girls and boys were not allowed to sit next to each other? Girls on one side, boys on the other or some such thing. After all, it could be distracting if they all sat together and inter-mixed. So, that would be fine? After all it’s a rule and is being used to create a better learning environment with fewer distractions

The school board can make up what ever absurd and stupid rule and people would follow it? After all we have to all learn to live with rules. My goodness, this isn’t a job, wear a dress code is perfectly acceptable and expected its kindergarten.

Thinking that the length of a boy’s hair is distracting is some pretty antiquated and narrow minded thinking. Personally, I don’t like long hair on guys, but I have never found it to be distracting, just not particularly attractive, but that is just my personal preference.

I think the girls need to abide by this same rule. After all, hair is hair. What does it really matter who's head it is on? Girl or boy, long hair is apparently a real distraction for them.

The school board saying "students who dress and groom themselves neatly, and in an acceptable and appropriate manner, are more likely to become constructive members of the society in which we live." shows that they are close-minded and judgmental people. Glad I don't have to deal with them.

It doesn't matter if the rule is stupid and you don't agree with it, its still the rule and in a civil society there are ways to go about changing them. If everyone thought it was okay for them to break a rule because its stupid, or antiquated there would be total anarchy. This isn't about the rule, its about a parent knowingly having her 4 year old break it to prove its stupid and they shouldn't have to abide by it. Like many pp's have said, there are ways other than that to change things. All this mother is doing is teaching her young child, that it doesn't matter what the rules are, if you don't like them just break them, eventually people will change it for you And those that support breaking rules because we don't agree with them (no matter how stupid they are) only adds to the special snowflake entitlement mentality so prevelent in our society now.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I just caught the story about this on the local news. It was the first I'd heard about it.

The little boy had his hair up in a super tight pony tail right on top of his head. It looked ridiculously uncomfortable, and totally reminded me of that hideous hairstyle all the girls get at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique .

That's exactly what I thought when I saw that picture. Isn't a boy with a princess hairstyle more distracting than a boy who simply has long hair?

 

[DizBelle]

It doesn't matter if the rule is stupid and you don't agree with it, its still the rule and in a civil society there are ways to go about changing them. If everyone thought it was okay for them to break a rule because its stupid, or antiquated there would be total anarchy. This isn't about the rule, its about a parent knowingly having her 4 year old break it to prove its stupid and they shouldn't have to abide by it. Like many pp's have said, there are ways other than that to change things. All this mother is doing is teaching her young child, that it doesn't matter what the rules are, if you don't like them just break them, eventually people will change it for you And those that support breaking rules because we don't agree with them (no matter how stupid they are) only adds to the special snowflake entitlement mentality so prevelent in our society now.

If the rule stated "No student is permitted to have a left arm." Would you cut off your childs left arm and THEN fight the rule? I doubt it.

I know - "But hair will grow back." If she cut the boy's hair to their standard, it would take many, many months for it to grow back to where it is now.

Yes, this is extreme. But it makes the point.

 

[Heidict]

To those Dis'ers who don't believe a public school should have hair cut standards as part of the dress code, what do you think about public schools with uniform requirements?

Here's a link about public school uniforms. http://www.educationbug.org/a/public-school-uniform-statistics.html

I see them as totally seperate things.

It doesn't matter if the rule is stupid and you don't agree with it, its still the rule and in a civil society there are ways to go about changing them. If everyone thought it was okay for them to break a rule because its stupid, or antiquated there would be total anarchy.

I'm glad our ancestors didn't think this way or we would still be drinking tea and paying taxes to the Queen.

This isn't about the rule, its about a parent knowingly having her 4 year old break it to prove its stupid and they shouldn't have to abide by it. Like many pp's have said, there are ways other than that to change things. All this mother is doing is teaching her young child, that it doesn't matter what the rules are, if you don't like them just break them, eventually people will change it for you And those that support breaking rules because we don't agree with them (no matter how stupid they are) only adds to the special snowflake entitlement mentality so prevelent in our society now.

Huh? I thought this thread was about the rule and the fact that the kid can't have long hair because the school district won't allow it? I didn't realize it was all about his mother.

I never said anything about how the mother was going about handling this situation, so i'm a bit perplexed how you came to the assumption that I thought everything she was doing was okay and correct? Quite the contrary. I think the mother is trying to get her 15 minutes at the expense of her son and that he is being made to sit alone in a room all day instead of being in class with his friends, having fun. She is going about all this the wrong way, but in todays society it's all about who can get the most media and the biggest headlines.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I don't have anissue with people trying to implement change. I have a huge issue with using a child as an object lesson. The parents should be ashamed of themselves for exploiting their son.

 

[cheermom1]

That's exactly what I thought when I saw that picture. Isn't a boy with a princess hairstyle more distracting than a boy who simply has long hair?

I thought the same thing ..I also thought that the attention this case is getting is more distracting than his long hair...

here in the school that my kids go to there isn't any rules on how long hair can be on either sexes...most of the boys have longer hair here...as well as in my stepkids school too b/c they all have longer hair..longer hair for a boy is in style now...and what about the 70's didn't most boys have long hair and then it was long and stagily and most of the time dirty...why was it ok then and not now????

 

[luvmy3]

If the rule stated "No student is permitted to have a left arm." Would you cut off your childs left arm and THEN fight the rule? I doubt it.
I know - "But hair will grow back." If she cut the boy's hair to their standard, it would take many, many months for it to grow back to where it is now.

Yes, this is extreme. But it makes the point.

Its really ridiculous to even ask such a question since I'm sure you know just how unreasonable something like that is compared to expecting students adhere to a certain standard of appearance. So, no it really doesn't make a point except that you have no other to make.
And again, you don't have to agree with the rule, but that doesn't give you the right to break it, thats the point.