OT- Why do you value your child

[momtomari]

i have to make a presentation for my human values class and im at a loss for what to put in it. he said tell him why we value our children and then prove ir (like with a story)

amanda

 

[disneymarie]

The value of our children is the mirror of ourself.

Children are a gift to us. No matter how we receive them. I mean, If we have birthed our child, or were provided a gift and blessing to our family through any other means, that was the plan for that child to reach our family. even if the genetics are not the same, the soul of that child was predeposed to be ours.

for families, that adopt, foster, inherit our child, no matter what age they reach us, there was a reason that special family was in the plan and meant to come in that special way. Just because the body could not for a physical means birth that baby, the delivery is just as special because of the special arrival. I saw God chooses the family, and the means that child arrives.

Our challange is to by our example and choices we provide these blessings a way to suceed in life...the tools they will need. Our culture, morals, that we bring with us from our heritage. If there are things in our heritage we would like to change for our children we can. If there are physical challanges in our children we can embrase that even in our darkest most trying moments. For in the blink of an eyelash that young one can be a grown adult, ill, make poor choices, or good ones.....or we can lose that child.

When my daughter passed away I faced her value I lost too. The most important thing she said to me as a teen was a out of all her friends' Mom's, I was the only really Mom. I was not trying to be their friend, but gave them guidance and love, Happiness, and consolded when boy friends broke hearts.

The heaviest heart felt moment, and the one I value the most in my memorie, was the hug, kiss and I love you Mom two days before she passed away. She was only 29, injured at 16 with a life altering injury of severe nerve pain. She passed away from a leak in her pain patch......they were recalled too late.

We never know the plan for our children, the value they provide in our lives we can never predict......but we can reflect if they have been taken from us.
I wonder what did I give and do gove to my children in values......

My youngest was at knoebels a few weeks ago, she is 12 almost 13. We were waiting to go on the Carrasell with the rings to catch. The prior ride she had grabbed the Brass ring and was given tickets for a free ride. As she waited in line, behind us were a few special needs young teens with either family or care takers. In her little voice (not her at home voice) she handed the tickets to the care taker of a young teen boy in a special needs chair. She asked could he use her ride she won. she told me he would not have the chance to reach for the Brass ring.....it meant something special to do for him because she had the pleasure of the win, by giving a gift.

When our children great a guest or adult withe graciousness, and courtesy. When our teaches or scout leaders say how kind and helpful they are, when a friend of theirs is hurt or being hurt they tell an adult and try to help.

Just some reflective thoughts I have on children, values and us.
dianne

 

[saraheeyore]

The value of our children is the mirror of ourself.

Children are a gift to us. No matter how we receive them. I mean, If we have birthed our child, or were provided a gift and blessing to our family through any other means, that was the plan for that child to reach our family. even if the genetics are not the same, the soul of that child was predeposed to be ours.

for families, that adopt, foster, inherit our child, no matter what age they reach us, there was a reason that special family was in the plan and meant to come in that special way. Just because the body could not for a physical means birth that baby, the delivery is just as special because of the special arrival. I saw God chooses the family, and the means that child arrives.

Our challange is to by our example and choices we provide these blessings a way to suceed in life...the tools they will need. Our culture, morals, that we bring with us from our heritage. If there are things in our heritage we would like to change for our children we can. If there are physical challanges in our children we can embrase that even in our darkest most trying moments. For in the blink of an eyelash that young one can be a grown adult, ill, make poor choices, or good ones.....or we can lose that child.

When my daughter passed away I faced her value I lost too. The most important thing she said to me as a teen was a out of all her friends' Mom's, I was the only really Mom. I was not trying to be their friend, but gave them guidance and love, Happiness, and consolded when boy friends broke hearts.

The heaviest heart felt moment, and the one I value the most in my memorie, was the hug, kiss and I love you Mom two days before she passed away. She was only 29, injured at 16 with a life altering injury of severe nerve pain. She passed away from a leak in her pain patch......they were recalled too late.

We never know the plan for our children, the value they provide in our lives we can never predict......but we can reflect if they have been taken from us.
I wonder what did I give and do gove to my children in values......

My youngest was at knoebels a few weeks ago, she is 12 almost 13. We were waiting to go on the Carrasell with the rings to catch. The prior ride she had grabbed the Brass ring and was given tickets for a free ride. As she waited in line, behind us were a few special needs young teens with either family or care takers. In her little voice (not her at home voice) she handed the tickets to the care taker of a young teen boy in a special needs chair. She asked could he use her ride she won. she told me he would not have the chance to reach for the Brass ring.....it meant something special to do for him because she had the pleasure of the win, by giving a gift.

When our children great a guest or adult withe graciousness, and courtesy. When our teaches or scout leaders say how kind and helpful they are, when a friend of theirs is hurt or being hurt they tell an adult and try to help.

Just some reflective thoughts I have on children, values and us.
dianne

thats lovely

 

[LadySincere]

The value of our children is the mirror of ourself.

Children are a gift to us. No matter how we receive them. I mean, If we have birthed our child, or were provided a gift and blessing to our family through any other means, that was the plan for that child to reach our family. even if the genetics are not the same, the soul of that child was predeposed to be ours.

for families, that adopt, foster, inherit our child, no matter what age they reach us, there was a reason that special family was in the plan and meant to come in that special way. Just because the body could not for a physical means birth that baby, the delivery is just as special because of the special arrival. I saw God chooses the family, and the means that child arrives.

Our challange is to by our example and choices we provide these blessings a way to suceed in life...the tools they will need. Our culture, morals, that we bring with us from our heritage. If there are things in our heritage we would like to change for our children we can. If there are physical challanges in our children we can embrase that even in our darkest most trying moments. For in the blink of an eyelash that young one can be a grown adult, ill, make poor choices, or good ones.....or we can lose that child.

When my daughter passed away I faced her value I lost too. The most important thing she said to me as a teen was a out of all her friends' Mom's, I was the only really Mom. I was not trying to be their friend, but gave them guidance and love, Happiness, and consolded when boy friends broke hearts.

The heaviest heart felt moment, and the one I value the most in my memorie, was the hug, kiss and I love you Mom two days before she passed away. She was only 29, injured at 16 with a life altering injury of severe nerve pain. She passed away from a leak in her pain patch......they were recalled too late.

We never know the plan for our children, the value they provide in our lives we can never predict......but we can reflect if they have been taken from us.
I wonder what did I give and do gove to my children in values......

My youngest was at knoebels a few weeks ago, she is 12 almost 13. We were waiting to go on the Carrasell with the rings to catch. The prior ride she had grabbed the Brass ring and was given tickets for a free ride. As she waited in line, behind us were a few special needs young teens with either family or care takers. In her little voice (not her at home voice) she handed the tickets to the care taker of a young teen boy in a special needs chair. She asked could he use her ride she won. she told me he would not have the chance to reach for the Brass ring.....it meant something special to do for him because she had the pleasure of the win, by giving a gift.

When our children great a guest or adult withe graciousness, and courtesy. When our teaches or scout leaders say how kind and helpful they are, when a friend of theirs is hurt or being hurt they tell an adult and try to help.

Just some reflective thoughts I have on children, values and us.
dianne

that is a very heartfelt story.

ps.....love knoebels ;0 my fave is the phoenix of course.

 

[robsmom]

Not sure i can follow DisneyMaries beautiful response but i will try to give you my thoughts.

I value my son because he is the best gift that god has ever given me and an outcome of the 2nd best gift - the love for, and of, my husband. I have been given the precious gift of molding a human being. When a child is born they have these remarkable things called a brain and a heart that are just waiting to be filled. I have been trusted to teach my son to love himself, love others, love God. I have been trusted to ensure he learns what he needs to know to be a happy, healthy contibuting member of society. I take my responsibility seriously and i value it because my son has given me the opportunity to have the greatest title on earth, Mom.

 

[momtomari]

these are some good things i was having writers block.

amanda

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I always think of that Martina McBride song "In my daughters Eyes"... I find who I want to be, in my daughters eyes...

There's not much I can say without tearing up even thinking about why I value my children...

 

[brymolmom]

I think a lot of it is nature - not sure if you want to/can put that spin on your assignment. We are meant to continue ourselves after we are gone. It is an immediate and huge emotion once you have a child - and it goes without saying in 99% of the cases (larger than this I hope) that the value we put on our child is immeasurable - we would, in a heartbeat, put the value of that child well above our own well-being.

Why? It certainly isn't due to my daughter's high drama, fighting me to take a shower, self. But it is much closer to due to the 'I love you mommy' I get right before she goes to sleep.

 

[gr8leg8]

I can understand your writers block
how do you put a huge emotional idea into words?

My daughter is the greatest gift imaginable
She has taught me so much.
She came into my life at my lowest point
and brings me great joy.

how do you want to define the word value?
treasure/cherish
consider important and worthy of protection

value as in valuable makes it sound like an investment.
but it is a huge investment
time, money, love,
I invest trust, patience, and every drop of my energy.
I give it willingly in pursuit of the dream of her
becoming a happy, healthy, and balanced person.
In a word she is priceless.

 

[ohwell329]

My child is my blessing in a hundred ways, but the one that stands out the most to me is that I was even able to have him. We went thru 4 years of infertility, 3 misscarriages, lots of medicine, lots of pokes and prods, and lots of money. He is my blessing-my being! It makes you really realize how having a child is so special-and you dont realize it untill its almost not a reality!

 

[nessz79]

Boy, that's really a hard question to answer!

My children are my everything. My beliefs help me from letting them take over my sense of self (I believe that God comes before anything and even anyone on earth, but this balances me). It's a good thing or I think it's very easy for parents to become more than obsessed with their children.

Children are more than a reflection of ourselves. They are an extension. It's like having part of your heart walking around without you. Watching them go to Kindergarten, for example, is literally painful. It's like part of you is going off without you and leaving you behind.

However, it's also wonderful to see them going off. That's the extension part. It's like creating something beyond yourself, but imparted with your values. You hope that your children can be more than you, in some way or another.

Kind of a complicated topic you took on, OP! LOL!

 

[8 Ears]

Wow! Some very touching posts

I value my children for their individuality and what they have/are/will teach me.

 

[kellyg403]

I value my children because when I look at them I feel like they are the best me and my ex. There is not a thing good or bad I do not love about them. I value them because through them I learn something everyday. Even things like patience and having fun in the rain I have learned from them. I learned I was worth something by teaching them they were worth something. For every lesson, we both learned something.

I love them more than life itself. Every heartbeat is connected. From the moment I saw them I knew that they would be the reason for every moment in my life that was worthwhile. I really know this when I look at my grandchildren and see my children's faces when they were small. I value every memory of those years. My children have made me the person I am today.

Kelly

 

[Camno's Mama]

I value the opportunity that I've been given to right some of the wrong in the world. To raise someone to believe in helping others, being kind, being independent, being smart, to believe in themselves...etc. To be able to, one day, proudly say that I raised my boys so that they are able to stand on their own two feet. I think we can all take comfort in knowing that, if we do a good job, we are leaving this world a better place just because our children are in it.

This is a complicated question. I love them more than anything else and enjoy them immensely. And I value the love and joy that they bring to my life. They are, quite literally, everything to me. But as far as valuing parenthood...the above paragraph would pretty much sum it up.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

I couldn't begin to put a value on my son. He was a miracle straight from God. From the moment I saw that little guy in the photo the Social Worker gave me, I knew that I would never be the same again. How amazing to know that half way around the world my heart would be discovered in South Korea!
I though I knew what love was before my son arrived- but nothing, NOTHING in this world can compare to the feeling of having a miracle bestowed upon you. I little person that relies on you, looks to you for care and counts on you for everything.
I think of his birth mother often and ache for her loss. I cannot imagine what it cost her to make an adoption plan for my son. I value my son above anything. I could never put a tangible value on him. He is priceless in everyway.

 

[Mkaz]

I don't value my children, I treasure them because they are a gift from God, and change your life forever. We became painfully aware of how quickly they can be taken away.

When our daughter was born, she was a very sick little girl. At four days old they were going to fly her to Albany. They couldn't because of a very bad rain storm. Precious hours ticked away as we waited for the ambulance and crew from Albany to come get her. We were literally scared out of our minds. It seemed like an eternity! Finally, one doctor, two nurses, and a driver arrived. To say they were stunned at her condition was an understatement. I clearly heard a nurse say under her breath, "Why is this baby still here?" My heart lurched when the magnitude of her words sunk in. They worked as quickly as they could and swept her away in the ambulance. We were relieved that she was in much more capable hands, but we knew that it was just the beginning.

We were unable to go with her that night. As day broke, I was on the phone with the doctors. They said they needed to operate right away. We had to give them permission over the phone. We were packed within minutes, and left to be with her. We had no way of knowing if she survived the surgery until we reached the hospital. It was a very long 3 1/2 hour drive. When we reached the hospital, we were directed to the NICU. There we found the cheery nurse who was caring for her. She was all smiles. She explained that the surgery went well. We spent a few hours with her and then left to check in at the Ronald McDonald House around the block. As we were leaving the hospital a man came running after us. He said, "I just want you to know that your daughter is going to be fine. She is in very good hands and you have nothing to worry about." I thought I was going to fall apart right there. I turned to dh and asked him where the guy came from and how he knew we had a daughter. He said he didn't know. I turned back around and the guy was gone. It was as if he vanished into thin air. Honestly, I am not making this up.

Over the next few weeks, things fell into place. Dh's employer gave him a leave of absence with pay, money just seemed to be there when we needed it, and we had a place to stay. Most importantly dd was improving. She had a few minor setbacks, but she was recovering. We felt blessed. There were many babies that were very sick, and we knew some wouldn't leave the hospital. Behind the walls of the NICU, it's a different world. Anyone who has been there knows what I am talking about. Finally, at 31 days old dd was released to go home. We knew our lives would never be the same when we realized we finally came out the other side. Talk about perspective!

For a long time people asked us when we were going to have a second child. Honestly, we had no interest in having any more children. We were grateful (to say the least) that dd was healthy. When dd was 6 1/2 we got a huge surprise. It was truly a shock when we found out we were expecting another baby. It took a long time for it to sink in. However, we were happy about it.

Years earlier I heard someone say that they believed God doesn't always give you what you want, he gives you what you need. To this day, I whole-heartedly believe it! I would not be the same person I am today had we not gone through that experience.

 

[NY_MOM]

My daughter is the greatest gift and blessing that has ever been bestowed upon me. She has helped me become a better person and truly realize that life is a miraculous gift from God, and that we should strive to make every day not perfect..because what is perfection; but we should try to make it the best we possibly can, and at least make it better than the day before. She truly is the LOVE that my husband and I have....she looks just like her dad and is just like the both of us combined....she truly is the best of who we are. It has been both the most terrifying,exhilerating and blessed five years of my life and I would not change a thing. It may sound cliche, but she truly is my heart, soul and breath. I can't remember what life was like before she was born and I can't imagine my life without her.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

One thing I value about my children (and there are many, many things) are the ways in which they have changed me and my life.

My oldest son has special needs (Aperger's Syndrome). I used to be a huge planner, very organized and made sure things always went my way. If something didn't work out, I would tend to get upset and emotional. Enter son #1. I've had to learn that no matter now much I plan, things won't always go my way and it's not my fault. I've developed a much stronger backbone. I've learned to stand up for what my son needs. I took on an entire school district to get him a proper school placement and all the services he needs. I don't worry when I have to quickly change my plans. I don't pay attention to what other people think when I know I'm doing the right thing for my son. This was so unlike me 13 years ago but I know I've changed for the better.

 

[disneyplanningdad]

There have already received some inspirational replies but i'm going to guess that they are not what OP's professor is looking for. I had never heard of "human values" before so I googled it and found some websites. I wouldn't presume to summarize them here but it seems that the class seeks to explain our human ethics. Maybe OP could explain it better. I think that the op is supposed to come up with a rational explanation of why we feel our children are "priceless" as one poster said. I'm going to guess that, from what little I read, the rational secular answer has something to do with evolutionary science and the fact that children represent the perpetuatuion of our species. I believe that. I also believe that my two sons are the greatest gift God has bestowed on my wife and I. Some of the answers here have equated the term value with $$$$ but I'm pretty sure that the term "human values" contemplates more than just money. I think that on this board you will find people who not only love their children but see the magic of being a child. If we valued our children on some monetary equivlent surly we would be in the red. Children are expensive. In today's society we don't even get the asset of labor provided by children as in an agrarian society where more children meant more hands to work the farm. We spend tons of money bringing up our kids and then we send them out into the world. So the OP question is then Why have children at all? Cant we get love from a spouse? Can't we get redefine Family as community? My answer to those questions is "Yes, we can." BUT there are other things that children give us and that is what OP's professor is looking for. Our children represent our immortality and our mortality at the same time. They are our chance to continue even after we have left this life. Disney reminds us al that we want to remain innocent and childlike. We want to always be able to dream. As we get older, Our dreams fade. We fall short in certain ways, We stray from them and we are distracted. We run out of time as death appraoaches and sometimes we just give up. But children represent our second chance at acheiving our dreams. Grandchildren are yet another chance at our dreams. Our children are innocent, blank slates. I can't always impart my dreams on my friends but by sharing my dreams with my son there is a pretty good chance that he will dream that dream too. Take for example the Dad who loves baseball. He starts playing catch with his own boy before the boy can even walk, rolling a ball along the floor. Before you know it hhis son is playing little league, highscool and maybe even college or pro ball. Take a look at that parent's pride and see his dreams in his eyes. Or more apropro to this website watch the joy in a parents eyes when DS or DW sees Cindarella's castle for the first time, or goes to Mars on Mission Space. dreams come true at Disney, and Dreams come true through our children. And when dreams don't come true... well then the unconditional love of parent and child is the closest thing to the unconditional love of God for all of us. Certainly if we all loved one another like that we would safeguard one another as we safeguard our children and we could perpetuate the species forever.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

My daughters are my life. No one will ever love them the way I do. I was the first person to know they existed. i was the first person to feel them inside of me. I waited 6 years to hold my oldest daughter in my arms. I will never ever forget her cry the first time i heard it. Its as if it happened yesterday. I suffered three loses before having her. I will never take her/them for granted. To know that if those three babies did live, i wouldn't have had the two daughters i have now.
My daughters give me a purpose in life. Before them, i had no direction, no identity for who i was. I knew I always to have children, but I didn't know i really wanted to be a mom until they were born. Now i have an identity. I am someone's mother, i am someone's role model. Everything I do is about them, reflects on them, revolves around them. It's an amazing thought.
It's amazing that they are both so different , yet come from the same two parents. They are amazing in the way that they have soaked up everything we tell them, watch on tv and can hear in conversations. They are apart of me, they grew inside of me, I nursed them and I can't say that about anyone else.
I love who they are, I will love them no matter what they become. No one can love them the way I do.