Ideas to help DD adjust

[MKCP5]

We are moving our DD (11) to a charter school this Tuesday. Our DS is already there--has been for 2 years, was glad for the change from our public school and anxious to go. We are moving her because we genuinely believe that the education she will get at the charter school is a head and shoulders above what they are offering in our local public school.
DD is not happy about the change, but is willing to give it a try and see how it goes. She just came into my room crying (11PM!) about how she will miss and does miss her friends at her school here. She wasn't being bratty and complaining, she was just genuinely sad.
I have promised her that one Saturday afternoon a month she can have a little party and have her friends from her old school over and she will be able to see them.
Does anyone have any ideas about how to help the the changes? Ideas for a fun little gathering to get together witout emphasizing the "we don't see each other and get to hang together" factor?
Thanks very much

 

[badblackpug]

I think that is a great idea. At 11 she can also keep in touch with old friends via e mail and the telephone. As she becomes more comfortable she can also include her new friends in her activies, kind of "bridging the gap." Fun things to do might be movie parties, make-overs, make your own pizza or ice cream sundaes. Make and decorate cupcakes. If you know any of her friends parents maybe you can tak to them about her anxiety and ask that they remember to include her in plans the other girls make.

 

[MKCP5]

I think that is a great idea. At 11 she can also keep in touch with old friends via e mail and the telephone. As she becomes more comfortable she can also include her new friends in her activies, kind of "bridging the gap." Fun things to do might be movie parties, make-overs, make your own pizza or ice cream sundaes. Make and decorate cupcakes. If you know any of her friends parents maybe you can tak to them about her anxiety and ask that they remember to include her in plans the other girls make.

Great ideas. ANd I will call some of the parents. I hadn't really thought about that--I know one of the girls always has a halloween party and she will be crushed if she is not included in that this year!

 

[Perditamarie]

This is so tough for a kid and she sounds like a super kid to be so cooperative! Are there any extra-caricular activities that she does/can do w/any of her existing group of friends like girl scouts, dance, gymnastics, swimming, karate etc. so she can maintain regular contact? Hopefully in 3 mos or so all the bumps are worked out!

 

[MKCP5]

she will continue w/ her gymnastics team she has been competing w/for 5 years. That is the continuity part of the picture That will help alot I'm sure

 

[shelly3girls]

I think as parents we tend to worry over the transitions our children make. Clearly they are upset and it is not easy but I think you will find it easier than expected in the long run. I wouldn't be surprised if in a couple of weeks she has tons of new friends and is happy as a lark. I stressed over my DDs school change tremendously. She still misses her friends but she has tons of new ones. She did meet a couple girls before school started which really helped. Maybe you can get in touch with the school or other parents you know and find a way to do this.

 

[kathie859]

I think your DD sounds like a trooper! 11 is still young enough to make changes and not adversely affect her social development, especially since she'll still be in contact with kids from her old peer group.

I would worry more if she were in high school. I know from firsthand experience how traumatic it is to leave old friends and move into a completely new circle of kids.

Kids her age adapt and I bet by Christmas break you won't even remember having these concerns.