Your best corny joke/riddle

[FlightlessDuck]

The first video in a playlist of 6:

You're welcome.

 

[eebadeeba]

If you are an American when you go into the bathroom and an American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you while you are in the bathroom?


European

 

[Cadiewampus]

What does Delaware
A brand New Jersey

What did Tennessee
The same thing Arkansas

 

[FlightlessDuck]

What does Delaware
A brand New Jersey

What did Tennessee
The same thing Arkansas

What did Missus sip?
I dunno, Alaska
She sipped a Minnesota.

 

[Kogo Shuko]

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
All you can eat chicken legs

What's dangerous and swings in trees?
A monkey with a chainsaw

What's green and brown, has four legs, and if it fell out of a tree, would kill you?
A pool table!

How do you get a one-armed newfie (insert Blonde or other stereotype here) out of a tree?
Wave at him!

A duck walks into a bar and asks for some grapes. The bartender informs the duck that they do not sell grapes. The duck leaves. The next day the duck comes back and asks again for some grapes. "I told you yesterday, we don't sell grapes here," the bartender tells him. The duck leaves. The next day the duck comes back again and again asks for some grapes. "Don't you get it? We don't sell grapes here? We never will!! Get lost!" The bartender had lost his patience. On the fourth day, the duck walks back into the bar and before the duck can utter a word, the bartender speaks up, "If you ask for grapes one more time, I'm going to nail your feet to the floor!" The duck looks at him for a moment and then asks, "Do you have nails?" "No! This is a bar! We do NOT have nails. Nor will we ever have nails!" The duck then asks, "Well, do you got any grapes?"

 

[Patch'sD]

What's a Pirate's favorite pair of Socks.

Aaarrhhh Gyle.

What's green and Red and is by the side of the road

Grass, I lied about the red.

 

[Clifton Tesh]

Ban pre shredded cheese..

Make America grate again!

 

[CuseWazowski]

What's the difference between paint and pea green soup?

You can learn how to paint.

 

[KMWoolley]

A existentialist monk walks up to hot dog vendor on 34th Street.

"Make me one with everything," he says.

The monk pays with a $50 and then leaves his hand out waiting for his change.

The Vendor states, "Change must come from within".

 

[dominiondad]

Why don't sharks eat clowns? They taste funny.

 

[GoingSince1990]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye deer.

 

[Lumpy1106]

What's brown and sticky?

A Stick

What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear

 

[lovesmurfs]

Why does Ariel the mermaid wear seashells?

Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey. What will Delaware? Idaho, Alaska.
,,,
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

 

[Cubbiecakes]

I love to bake, but I really hate baking with molasses.

I mean, it's so wasteful. What do you do with the rest of the mole?