Yikes - don't know what to do. Could use some prayers!

[rascalmom]

As you can see from the trip counter below, we are to leave for WDW on Wednesday. My family of four + my dp's - staying at SSR.

I got a call this afternoon - my grandmother, who is 90, has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Surgery is scheduled for Jan. 2nd.

Now I don't know what to do - dgp's say go. Grandmother feels fine at this point. They live in an assisted living center & are well cared for.

The reality is just sinking in that this very well could be her last Christmas with us. My dad at first wanted to cancel, but now he is saying we should go ahead & go. This is my older dd's senior year, so this is a special family trip for her.

I'm just rambling at this point - I am worried, I feel guilty for thinking about leaving the gp's - just don't know what do! Please say a little prayer if you can spare it for my grandma.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Your grandparents said go, you should go and have a good time. Will keep gm in my prayers.

 

[minnieandme]

How long are you planning on staying? I'd say go and enjoy yourself. Maybe you'll be back in time for your DGM surgery. I'll keep your family in my prayers. My DGM was diagnosed with bc in Sept and had a mascetomy. She's 86 and will be 87 in March.

 

[Disney Ella]

I would think your grandmother might need you more after the surgery - for help around the house, doctor's appointments, etc. than now. I would go and have a nice trip, particularly since your grandmother wants you to go.

 

[EdiePA]

Just remember, breast cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence. My mom was diagnosed 13 years ago, survived chemo and radiation and is still going strong at the age of 83.

I vote for going and then being available to help out afterwards.

Edie

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Things like this happened twice to me. 2 Days before our trip my aunt passed away. We just saw her about 2 weeks before. Our trip was non refundable and my cousin, her only child, said to go. Another time my grandma who was in the nursing home was being put in the hospital. We were at the Polynesian and going on the cruise. Not to mention I think the nursing home was trying to get rid of her since she was paying herself at first. Well they knew I was the power of attorney etc. I ended up faxing papers from the polynesian and had someone from our church check on her. As the other posters said, your grandmom could use your help later.

 

[rascalmom]

This is stirring everybody up - my dh's step-father passed away during our trip in March '05. That time we were on rented points - we ended up coming home mid-trip. Very sad. Felt so bad about not being here for mil.

Both of dh's maternal gp's passed away ON Christmas Day.

I know I won't have my gp's forever - I'm not a spring chicken - they are 90. It was a tough call to take a trip without them anyway (ddad is their only child & I am the only grandchild.)

On top of all that - dd's boyfriend is supposed to be visiting us from out-of-state after we get back from the trip. His airline ticket is already purchased & he is to still be here the day of her surgery. Not a great time for a guest.

Dgm lives about 2 hours from me.

 

[poohandwendy]

When will you be back? If it is before her surgery, I would plan on having her over for a noce family get-together even if it is just for dessert (a few hoursin the evening).

Definitely sending out prayers for your grandmother!

 

[rascalmom]

We would be back on 12/27. Everything is arranged - housesitter, MVMCP tickets, CP, Hoop - I just feel so guilty.

Thanks everyone for your prayers. It means a lot.

 

[kejoda]

I don't want this to come off the wrong way but if your Grandparents have been married for this long maybe a Christmas alone would be good for them.

I would go and call them constantly. I'll also be praying for your family.

 

[ZPT1022]

I'd say go. If the DGP's said to go they may feel guilty if you stay home, and no offense intended but this is not a time that they should be worrying about you. It's hard, I know. My DGM was diagnosed with cancer last year a few weeks before our trip and I was really debating cancelling and much to our surprise she died of a heart attack before we left. In the end it wasn't even the cancer. Then we had the guilt of should we leave my mom. In the end we went because it's what Grandma would have wanted us to do, plus losing someone so suddenly just illustrates how you can't always count on a next time. No one ever knows when their number is up, something could happen at any point and it's even more reason to enjoy our todays rather than waiting on our tomorrows. I lost my Dad when I was 11 so this is how I try to live my life anyhow but sometimes I need a reminder. It sounds like you would be back in time for the surgery and they will probably need your help more after that. A nice gesture might be to go and stock them up on the essentials before you leave so they don't have anything to worry about while you're gone- assuming Grandma is in the hospital still, that would mean Grandpa wouldn't have to worry about too much around the house. I hope you go and make wonderful memories together and I will keep your Grandma in my thoughts and prayers

 

[minniecarousel]

Oh, honey - you all need to go! Imagine the guilt for Grandma if you cancel. She doesn't need that kind of stress.

You'll be around before and after her surgery. With elderly relitives, we can't keep thinking "what if this is her last Christmas...Easter....birthday....etc". You don't want the elderly people in your life to think that you're waiting for them to die. You must go on with your lives too.

 

[rascalmom]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I talked to my grandmother - she really does want us to go. So we will. I wish I had known sooner though - she lives 2 hours from me & it will be nearly impossible for me to get down there tomorrow. Kids have finals - lots of packing still to do.

My dad has persuaded her to put off the surgery for a few days. She figured the sooner, the better - but the surgeon is going out of town the day after she has scheduled. So, she will wait now until the next week so that he will be there & part of her aftercare. So, instead of Jan. 2 it moves to Jan. 8. That gives us some breathing room for getting back & refocusing our attention on her.

I was not able to get info out of her other than "some big word" about what the doctor said re the type of cancer & how advanced it might be. I do know that this is a "cyst" that they had been watching for awhile. I am still surprised that they want to do a full mastectomy (one side) on a 90 year old woman. I tried to push her to a 2nd opinion, but she refused. She likes her doctor (and I think she already told all of her friends - can't back out now ).

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My guess is they'll do the mastectomy, but that's probably it. With lumpectomy, best results come with radiation. It may not be needed anyway, but I doubt they'd offer chemo at her age. God bless her. She may do well from a BC standpoint.