Would you tell your 6th grader the truth about Santa?

[cstraub]

I knew there would be great input from both sides.

DD is a young 6th grader and has minor ADHD (the inattentive dreamy kind) so I could believe either way. She believes or is just pretending to.

I will keep you posted.

Interesting......In my siggie I am the ADD dream queen!

 

[maddiel]

This year she will get to stay up with me and help stuff the stockings, but she has already said that she wants me to wait until she goes to bed to get out her presents because surprises are still fun.

She's very smart. When I was 10, I helped my mother and losing the magic and the surprise at once left Christmas morning a bit "flat"

M.

 

[JunieJay]

My DD believed until she was 12. And she just thanked me and my dh for NOT telling her a few days ago. She said she "kind of new...but wasn't sure" - but that she LOVED the magic of all of it and wasn't ready to let go of that.

I would not tell your DD. Chances are she isn't going around in school telling kids that Santa is real. She's probably quiet about it - knowing that the other kids don't believe. I'd just wait a little longer IMO.

I pretty much feel the same way. At that age, they are no doubt having doubts, but probably don't WANT the magic to end by asking you about it. They aren't going to ask their friends about it, though. They'd ask you first. My oldest son came to me at 9ish and said he no longer believed. At that point, the gig was up. Until that point, the magic of Santa was alive and well for him and actually still is for his little brother, who is 8. My oldest still gets the magic because his brother still believes....and no doubt when the youngest gets wise there will be other kids we know we can share the magic with. That is what I have told my oldest -- Santa is an emotion who lives in your heart. He understands and accepts this. I never would have told him this before he asked though.

 

[noodleknitter]

Yes, I would tell her.

My oldest daughter is 10. She knows about Santa, and the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. I presented it to her as a rite of passage.

I like this!

The magic of caring hearts doesn't go away without a mythical man bringing gifts.

We still have an elf (Christopher) who comes directly after Thanksgiving. My 7 year old is pondering this, with comments like "I know Santa is real because You (me) couldn't reach the places Christopher goes..." The older kids just smile and agree that mom would never be able to reach that high...etc. I can see it in his eyes, though, that this will be the last year of doubt. Christopher will continue to grace our high spots, presents will still be under the tree and stockings stuffed!

Either way you deal with it, OkieDokie, have a lovely holiday with your young lady!

 

[KristinBelle]

If your DD still believes I say let her! If she is just pretending to still believe let her do that too. What's the rush? Would you really compromise that feeling your DD still has about magic so your sister will be happy?

 

[4EverFigment]

...in the magic of the season, just like I believe in the magic of Disney. There isn't a darn thing wrong with that at any age. "Developmentally normal" is a very flexible statement these days anyway.

I think that gradually morphing the Santa thing into a larger, doing good at this time of year thing is a good plan and is what I am working on with my son (who is 7). I think that it's okay to keep some of the sparks alive and that it's very sad when people let go of the joys of childhood, like Santa and the Tooth Fairy. What's wrong with keeping some of that around?

That said, yes, middle school girls are incredibly cruel. They will mock and tease until their victim is reduced to molecular goo. Perhaps having a talk about the differences in each family's traditions is an option, which allows for a "belief in Santa" at whatever level your family wants/needs.

jingle bells and reindeer kissies,
peace
figgy

 

[SpecialK]

I think kids are smarter than we sometimes give them credit for. IMO they're capable of figuring out the Santa truth without being told. And, by middle school, they're capable of knowing what to say (or not say) at school in a tease-tempting situation.

I totally agree with this sentiment. We just had this debate regarding our 5th grade son. My DH took him out to breakfast to feel him out on the subject. My son never did give a straight answer, so DH just told him it would probably be best to keep his own counsel about it at school due to lots of cultures & different beliefs.

We do think he knows though. He's very concerned about the price of things he's asking for - a first for him.

For what it's worth, my sister did tell her kids and regrets it to this day. They're adults now and say they would have preferred to keep up the pretense.

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

My 10 y/o DD asked me about this last night. She said the kids in school were saying there was no Santa. I kept silent and let her talk. She then went on to say that she believes Santa is real and she didn't want to know that he wasn't. I let it go and never said anything. I don't think she really wanted me to...she is working it out in her mind. Later, she went by the stockings...yes, we have them on the mantle already, and she felt each one. I said, are you hoping Santa already put something in there? She said, "No, I was hoping they were empty. If they had something in there it would mean Santa wasn't real." I could tell by the way she looks at me she's pretty sure Mom and Dad are Santa...she knows I am the Toothfairy and Easter Bunny, but she really wants to hold on to that magic of Christmas. Yes, she knows it's really about Christ's birth, but Santa adds an element of magic that every child can allow their imaginations to soar with. Heck...I still believe in Santa

 

[nuke]

My son (8 at the time) informed me last year that it was ridiculous to believe that a giant bunny hops around and gives our presents.
I asked what he thinks about Santa and he said he would get back to me. I haven't heard yet.

 

[noodleknitter]

My son (8 at the time) informed me last year that it was ridiculous to believe that a giant bunny hops around and gives our presents.
I asked what he thinks about Santa and he said he would get back to me. I haven't heard yet.

One of my boys became so creeped out about either a giant rabbit, or worse yet, a man dressed like a rabbit (like the dept. stores!) that I had to explain the Easter Bunny to him!

This kid was also the one that did not want our elf in his room at night!

 

[CathrynRose]

I found out about Santa the same time as the EB..

So did I. Tooth Fairy too.

I wanted to ask my mom about the other *S* word - but I was embarrased to ask. And she goes "What is it about? Santa?"

Horrified I replied "What about Santa?!?!"

So i found about *S*, Santa, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy all in one night. It was pretty traumatic. The night my childhood died.

But - on that note. I tried to tell my... I think he was 9, or 8 at the time about Santa. I was afraid of him getting teased, too. He started to cry and called me a liar! So, then I felt so bad, I said "Im just kidding!"

By the next Christmas, he knew on his own. *phew!*

And in your case, I bet you ANY money, she knows, and doesnt want to ruin the fun for you. Ive had TWO girlfriends kids, when the Mom's finally approached them about it say "We know! We didnt want to say anything - didnt want to ruin Christmas for YOU"

 

[ZachnElli]

There is a good chance she is playing along. I just had this discussion with my 11 year old DS last night. He asked me if he could help "set up" Christmas this year. I asked what he meant and he said help me and his dad set the presents out. I said I ask dh later. Then I asked him what he was going to ask Santa for Christmas (I was testing him). He rolled his eyes and said, "Mom, I've known for a few years now!"

 

[Christine]

My best friend told her 5th grader this year that there was no Santa. She sort of logically knew, of course, and then asked her mother for confirmation. Her mom said "No, there is no Santa." She busted out crying and cried for awhile.

Then a few days later, she (the 5th grade girl) proceeds to tell my son that there is no Santa. As I said earlier in the thread, he still wants to believe but he questions me all the time (he is 11). He then asked me and I just said "Well, what do you think?" and he told me that he thought there still was a Santa. But he does say things that lead me to know that he really doesn't believe that it is possible. But I will keep up the charade if that's what he wants at this time. No big deal either way really.

I think Steve asked if he discusses it at school? I don't know. He did discuss it with the girl I just told you about. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the other kids in his class still believe. My son is on the immature side, but I've met 2 or 3 others that are even more immature than he is.

 

[PaulaSue]

My Gf has a 7th grade who still believes. I thought she was joking when she told me and I cracked up. I can only imagine what middle schools would say/do.

 

[DisWannabee]

As the DS of OkieDisney (who sent me the link to this site and I am a complete neophyte to the whole "DIS" thing - so please bear with me as I navigate this forum thing), I must add my 2 cents worth:

LET THE MAGIC REMAIN! Santa is the spirit of Christmas, just like Mickey (and Walt too) is the spirit of Disney.

Remember the 45 year old (single) sister who thinks that the 11 year old DD should not believe in Santa? This same sister told me at the age of 7 about the "farce" of Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy etc. So, my magic was taken way too early and I have had issues with Christmas ever since. Life will have enough realities as our 11 year old girls grow up, so let them believe in something and be kids as long as possible. My DD had the Santa magic ruined by my ex-husband when she was 7 (now also 11), so we live vicariously through my DS who is now 8.

To OkieDisney: Don't send the link to our sister or we are both toast!

 

[Goofyluver]

I think when a child is ready to develop their own beliefs, he or she will. Until then, enjoy the innocence.

 

[shovan]

I can remember pretending for a long time, mostly because I had younger brothers. I will never forget the first Christmas when my parents realized I didn't really believe anymore. I found a nightgown, robe & slippers under the tree!! That's enough to make any kid believe in Santa Claus!

 

[SplshMtnLvr28]

Yep, I would tell her. She probably already knows, though. My parents never told me Santa wasn't real, I just kind of figured it out on my own. (Or it could be me finding all the presents in their closet ) But if she's in middle school, you should probably tell her the truth.

 

[Laura]

I would tell her. I was arguing with the kids on the playground in 4th grade that Santa was real, and their parents told them he wasn't because they were bad and wouldn't get any presents!

 

[bettyann29]

if it were me I would tell my child by 6th grade.. middle schoolers can be cruel sometimes..

My DD13 and DD15 are not allowed to say anything around the house because DD8 still believes,, I figure this is probably the last year as they were clued in by fellow schoolers around 8 or 9.. When they start to say something I quote my motto.. "If you don't believe, you wont receive".. They think its funny..