Would you still go?

[lovesmurfs]

Okay. We've just received word today that my husband's being deployed to Afghanistan, most likely the end of October. He's been in the National Guard 26 years and this is his first deployment. I'm okay with it -- we're promised strength and grace for the hour.

On to Disney...... Our trip is planned (and really PLANNED, down to the GF Perfectly Princess Tea, Candlelight Processional Package, HDDR, Luau, and MVMCP tickets) for December 14-23 (for us and DS12 and DD7), and we've all been psyched. He's saying I should cancel, as nearly everything's refundable (except tickets, which don't expire, and the deposit on the rental villa). The deployment's likely to be for 18 months (we haven't gotten the orders yet).

WWYD? I don't mind taking the kids on my own at all. I'm just looking for different points of view on it. I would not consider bringing someone else along as a substitute -- we'd cancel all of his stuff and it would just be the three of us. A thought had crossed my addled brain to even try to extend our stay over Christmas so that we won't be by ourselves.

 

[DizzKneeGeek]

Obviously with something like this you are going to get the whole gamut of opinions. So I hope you're ready.

As for my opinion...I think it would be a great idea to go ahead with the trip. If you cancel the trip your kids will have two letdowns instead of one(not going to Disney and dad being gone). I'm sure they are looking forward to the trip. If they don't get to go they will be disappointed for not getting to go and for their dad being gone as well. Maybe going on the trip might get their minds off missing pops. Have you asked the kids their opinion on the matter?

 

[CAGirl]

Hmmmm....that's a tough one. I too am married to a man in service and sometimes things just have to go on. I miss my husband and all while he is gone but we keep going on as if he were still here. With kids your age I would probably go ahead and go also. Seems like a good way to keep the spirits up around the holidays if their dad is away. The only reason I would be hesitant is because of his reason for wanting you to cancel it....jealous, nervous about you going alone, etc. So if you didnt go would you plan to go when he got back? I know that is a long time to have the kids wait. Good Luck with your decision.
Deanna

 

[mecllap]

Yep -- that's a tough one all right. I think going ahead with the trip would be the better choice, unless there are also other factors (financial burden or something -- if you can really afford it okay, I'd even add 3-4 more days to stay for the 25th -- unless you have family at home to spend it with, that would also be a fun distraction). Postponing for another 1-2 years doesn't seem fair, when you've already got it all planned (unless you've already gone recently, or several times).
(was going to do some supporting reasons, but have to log off, just got a lightning storm here). Good luck with your decision, and with getting thru everything the next months.

 

[serendipity]

I would definately still go. Your children are going to miss their father immensely, this will be a way to cheer them up around the holidays. If affordable I would stay there for christmas also. When your husband returns you can return to disney, for a whole family trip.

 

[Al and Kate's Mom]

I think it would be a great idea to go ahead with the trip. If you cancel the trip your kids will have two letdowns instead of one(not going to Disney and dad being gone). I'm sure they are looking forward to the trip. If they don't get to go they will be disappointed for not getting to go and for their dad being gone as well. Maybe going on the trip might get their minds off missing pops. Have you asked the kids their opinion on the matter?

I agree with DizzKneeGeek, and your thought about staying through Christmas...run it by the kids and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for yourselves.

My thoughts are with you and your husband and family as he gets ready to go - please tell him Thank You for me!

 

[princesstigerlilly]

Okay. We've just received word today that my husband's being deployed to Afghanistan, most likely the end of October. He's been in the National Guard 26 years and this is his first deployment. I'm okay with it -- we're promised strength and grace for the hour.

On to Disney...... Our trip is planned (and really PLANNED, down to the GF Perfectly Princess Tea, Candlelight Processional Package, HDDR, Luau, and MVMCP tickets) for December 14-23 (for us and DS12 and DD7), and we've all been psyched. He's saying I should cancel, as nearly everything's refundable (except tickets, which don't expire, and the deposit on the rental villa). The deployment's likely to be for 18 months (we haven't gotten the orders yet).

WWYD? I don't mind taking the kids on my own at all. I'm just looking for different points of view on it. I would not consider bringing someone else along as a substitute -- we'd cancel all of his stuff and it would just be the three of us. A thought had crossed my addled brain to even try to extend our stay over Christmas so that we won't be by ourselves.

At the risk of sounding really nosey, may I ask why he thinks you should cancel? I am not wanting to pry, but I'm not sure how much I am able to help you without knowing why he thinks you need to skip the trip.

If he wants you to cancel because he's worried you'd be taking on too big a trip as the only adult, reassure him that you are very comfortable with the trip on your own. I agree that your DH being deployed is a big deal for all of you and will be very hard, esp. around Christmas. The trip may be just the thing to help you through that time. If you don't have extended family nearby that you can spend the holiday with, I think maybe you should extend the trip a day or too as well.

Please pass on my appreaction to your DH as well.

 

[Jackmonkey]

From the point of view of an ex-serviceman, I may be able to shed a little light on his reasons for wanting to postpone this trip. I was in the Army for the years leading up to and through the first Gulf War. I traveled all over the world in numerious deployments in one of the busiest divisions around. Although most of them were for training, it still ment a good deal of time away from my wife, and our newly born son. (2 weeks after his birth I was deployed for 3 weeks.)

When serving this great nation and it's way of life, the brave men and women of our military miss so much of what the normal family takes for granted in their everyday lives. Birthdays, first steps, Valentine's days; They all slip quietly by. A family vacation to Walt Disney World woud definately be a hard thing for a father to miss. Just as takeing the vacation might be a way of preserving some sense of normalicy in the rest of the family's lives through this difficult seperation.

Either way, it isn't going to be an easy decission, and I don't envy you for having to make it. But I do want to pass on my heartfelt appreciation for the hardships of your family's service to our country, and best wishes for your husband's speedy and safe return.

 

[manda40475]

I'll be in the minority here (especially considering this is a Disney board), but I would postpone the trip until your husband returned. That was something I'm sure he was looking forward to and had saved up as to do as a family. Even though the reasons for taking the kids by yourself in December are valid and sound like a good idea, you're taking that away from your husband. If it were me, I would put the trip off until dh returned as a "welcome home"/bonding time with family only trip. Maybe you could plan something else with the kids to do during that time.

 

[Fafolguy]

I'd say go ahead. It might make his absence a bit easier to take, since you could keep yourself distracted. I would DEFINATELY plan on another trip as soon as he returned, as well. That way you get to celebrate his return as well as have a great magical vacation.

 

[Viki]

Thank you so much for the sacrifices your family is making and yes, unless it's something your husband just doesn't want to miss out on, I'd say go and make the very best of it!

 

[disneygal33]

Persoanlly, if I could, I would still go.
I'm so sorry you even have to make this choice!

 

[mrsscooter]

As a navy wife of 12 out of 20 of my husbands career so far, I say go and have a great time!!! I know how hard it is to experiences such an imortant thing without your husband around. My husband missed my son being born by 5 days and came home to a 6mo old son for the first time. Like someone else had said, you would doing something fun and keeping you busy during the holidays. Its always fun to do something "new". I would also try to stay over christmas. Unfortunately, life goes on while our hubbys are on deployment, and with children, its important to keep the "normalsy" if you will.
My husband has always said that he wants us to go and do anything we can to keep us busy while he is gone. His only request is that we send him a postcard and get him a tshirt. So, what you could do is get a postcard and tshirt from every park and write some of the highlights about that park on the post card and then when you get back, send him a care package of all the postcards/tshirts, and maybe even a few extras,like mickey lolly pops or pretzles, or book of disney trivia, etc. I hope this has helped and hopefully encourages you to still go. Just remember that only you can make the final decision, and know that it is the right one. Good Luck...........and chin up!!!

 

[NurseW2Kiddies]

My husband and I were both in the military. He had to leave for a year when our son was 18 months old. While I undersatnd both points of veiw, I beleive in some ways it is harder to be the one still at home. You need to stay busy. Your life doesn't stop because he is gone. Christmas is especially hard and you might as well be somewhere you totally LOVE!!!! Hopefully when he returns, you can plan another trip. Good luck and safe wishes for your sweetie.

 

[Donald - my hero]

IMHO please take your kids to this special planned trip. Dad going away is hard enuff but after family planning a trip and then taking away that anticipation would be an extra blow. When my hubby went 1500 miles away for work every week (ok not to "war" but still tough here if you read my siggy) at 1st kids were scared and didn't even want to go to b-day parties w/out him. Dad phoned every night at supper time. After 2 weeks he was surprised, even angry that they often weren't here. Friends and playing had come back into their lives. As soon as his special project was over and he came home we planned a trip to the House of the Mouse as a family. Great way for us to re-bond as a family

 

[Boncho]

My father was in the army for over 30 years and sometimes being away for a year at a time I know how you are feeling. Not knowing why your husband wants you to cancel the trip makes an answer to your question a little difficult. What I do know is that my mother had 5 children to look after all by herself and when my father was away, we continued to do all the things we would have done if my father was home. You are going to miss your husband a great deal and cancelling your trip would be like hitting your kids with a double whammy - no dad, no vacation. I go to Disney without my husband (just me and my son-Dad's not into Disney) and I don't think you should have any problems going alone with two children. Talk to your husband and try to find a compromise you all can live with. I would still go;it would do wonders for you and the kids while Dad is gone - you are not used to him being away and one thing is for sure, Disney is the one thing that can always lift a persons' spirits. You can always go again with Dad when he gets home. Good luck in your decision.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I really appreciate everyone's insights, and never realized when I signed up for the DisBoards that I'd have a support network like this (the training "team" he's on is put together from various people in the state, and so the family network for this group basically doesn't exist -- although I think they're planning on some activities).

I spoke at length with DH and the kids. DD7 wants to go, full steam ahead (go figure). DS12 knows that DD7 wants to go (and himself wants to go), but said that we should wait until he gets back. DH (who grew up and worked at Disney) has reconsidered and said we really should go (as long as we promise pictures). So I'm going to cut back on the events (cancel the CP package, HDDR and the Luau), make the whole thing more low-key, and plan to do them for the next trip. I'll probably plan on more CS meals as well (I'd planned to bring lunch everyday).

I think I'll wait on the decision to extend through Christmas until after he goes -- we'll see how things go (and what my in-laws wind up thinking about us going.....LOL).

Thanks again, everyone. I think it was mostly shock yesterday (ya know it's coming, but.....).

 

[gayles]

My son is a US MARINE & plans always change---- I say go ------- You might even be a Lucky winner of a DW Trip or Cruise with the Million Dream's - Then how sweet will that be to go on another trip with your husband . Also when he gets back can he qualify for SOG ..
P> S> Send lots of care packages ,my son was in Iraq. Him & all his friends loved them ....

 

[mickeyfan2]

I would suggest you do a simple trip and all the "planned stuff" should be put on hold until he returns.

 

[Brise Nannie]

I would leave the plans as they are and make the trip with the kids. I think it would be a good thing for the family and keep young minds busy so they don't miss their dad so much. It'll kinda ease the pain a bit, don't ya think? The 'up' part of the situation is you can plan another trip with DH when he returns home.