Would you call CWS? Teacher? *update* pg 5

[pfishgirl]

I was told by a 10 year old that "Johnny" said in lunch to her on Friday, that they have no heat or hot water cause Mom & Dad can't pay for oil because Mom plays computer games all day & Dad goes out hunting every weekend with his Uncle. He goes to bed wearing 2 pairs of pants, 2 shirts, 2 pairs of socks, a hat, gloves and a scarf.

He also asked her if he could have some of her lunch because he was still hungry. She said he only had a half of a PB & Jelly sandwhich and a juice box for lunch. She said he smelled bad but shared her lunch with him anyway.

So on Monday she is bringing in 2 lunches, 2 snacks & 2 juice boxes in case he is still hungry. But, she doesn't want to sit near him if he smells. She did asked if she could bring in some extra Christmas cookies for him too.

What would you do? We don't want to embarass them if they are struggling like most of the world but, Mom can be on a computer all day? and Dad out hunting?

Would you call the Teacher? The school principal? Childwelfare?

 

[corndog]

Nothing.

 

[Cindy B]

School guidance counselor would be the best bet. The guidance counselor would have access to services or resources for the student. The counselor can also assess the situation and do what is necessary.

If no counselor, I would possibly go to the principal about this matter. The principal may have access to services or information from other schools in the district.

I had many students living in poverty. Many had no heat, no electricity and one student told me that he had NO ROOF! Yes, a tarp for a roof in the middle/end of December. The guidance counselor would do what they could for these students whether if it was Thanskgiving turkey, extra uniforms or free afterschool care (where they got a dinner)

It is all about priorities for some families. The entire school was 100% free lunch but the parents had different priorities. Some homes had the 52 inch TV and the kids had gaming systems and Iphones. Some parents don't understand or have different priorities than other families.

 

[java]

I wouldn't call anyone. Right now all you know for certain is that he wanted your daughter's lunch. I would just keep my ears open.

 

[agnes!]

That is a tough one, but I think I would ask the teacher if she knew anything - not to pry, but just to alert her maybe? It sounds like there might be some truth to what the kid is saying, but there's always the possibility that what he says isn't quite the truth(the reality could be worse or it could be better....)

agnes!

 

[Bluestars]

Since there is a possibility that this may be true, I would speak to either the teacher or a guidance counselor. If it is true, there should be a discounted or free meal program at the school that he could benefit from. Maybe other help is available to the family too. I would never sit by and do nothing if I heard a child might need food.

 

[pfishgirl]

That was my thought, at least inform the teacher this is what "Johnny" told her on Friday as a heads up and see if she noticed any behavior differences or any kind of change in him.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm not really sure I'd say anything to anyone just yet. A family can decide to not use their heat and or hot water to save the oil they have in their tank. They may be struggling financially and conserving what they can to make it through the winter, it doesn't mean the child is being abused or neglected in any way. If he is going to bed with multiple layers its not like he is in his underwear in a freezing cold house. mayb ethey just turn it down at night, I know many people who keep their house freezing at nighttime.
As far as lunch goes, maybe that is all they had in the house that day. I haven't been shopping in days due to the weather. If you saw what my kids ate for dinner you would probably want to call CPS on me.
The point is I think before you call anyone you should really get more of the story. What "Johnny" is saying may not be 100% true, he may have left out some important facts.

 

[pfishgirl]

I wouldn't call anyone. Right now all you know for certain is that he wanted your daughter's lunch. I would just keep my ears open.

She's not my daughter but I do know her well enough to know she does not fib. If he was only after her lunch, why would a 10 year old only been given a half of a sandwhich? He has never asked her for food before.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd probably mention it to the teacher first, and see what he/she says.

 

[themarquis]

I wouldn't think that the sending a kid to school without lunch thing would warrant a visit by CPS, but having no heat is a serious matter in a cold climate, and a child could die in those conditions. So yes, for the heat thing, I would call. I'm sure not much would come of it, but you should call anyway.

 

[perla75]

I might mention it to the teacher, but that's it. The teacher will take it from there.

Please do not call child welfare on this family. You are getting 2nd party information exchanged by two 2 ten year old children-that is not strong enough info to possibly disrupt and ruin a family's holiday by getting DSS involved.

 

[pfishgirl]

I'd probably mention it to the teacher first, and see what he/she says.

I don't want to ignore it, in case there is more to it. So I'm thinking calling the Teacher would be best.

 

[worm761]

I would probably relay what was said to me to either the guidance counselor or the teacher. And this from a mother of an Asperger's kid. I work on the computer at home. According to DS, I play on the computer all day. He is 12.5 years old. That is his perception. He thinks the house is freezing but it is set to 68. We live in Florida. That is cold to us. This is the same kid that wears shorts all year long. 68 is cold inside but hot outside. Go figure. I grocery shop once a month. at the end of the month, pickens are slim. or even better. i make our bread and we had none the other day! LOL..had to go to walmart at 7 am and buy a lunchable.

those are just to show you some perspective. What a child sees is not always the whole truth. DS would tell you we are out of food. I will tell you I had a migraine and forgot to bake bread. I slept instead. The migraine wins every time. There may be some real trouble or he could just being seeing what a 10 yr old sees. But it is better to be safe than to find out later that something bad happened. Though I would hate to explain to Sister Barbara about migraines and making bread. I would be happy that someone cared enough about my DS to embarrass me to a Nun.

 

[Bluestars]

I don't want to ignore it, in case there is more to it. So I thinking calling the Teacher would be best.

I hope you do let the teacher know. Sometimes kids don't know where to go for help. If the child is hungry, at the very least he should have a decent meal at school. I don't know if your school has any kind of breakfast program (some schools do), but maybe he can get that too.

I am embarrassed to say this but when I was 5 my dad was in the air force and our family lived in a trailer. I didn't know it, but we were very poor. Somebody at school noticed I didn't have a jacket. Luckily I lived in a place that didn't snow, but it could still get cold in the winter.

Anyway, a teacher and another lady rode the bus home with me to see where I lived. I don't think anyone called CPS or anything like that. Our home was clean and we always had food. The teacher gave me a jacket that I could use at school. I never told my mother, but I have always remembered the kindness of this teacher who helped me when I couldn't help myself.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You have school on Monday? Sorry that jumped out on me. I thought everybody would be on break.

That is a tough one. Well since your dd wants to give him her lunch, which is against the rules in some schools, I would probably have to talk to the teacher.

 

[Loverly]

She's not my daughter but I do know her well enough to know she does not fib..

I'm sorry-but if she is not your DD, you have no "right" to contact the girl's teacher.

 

[Plantlady]

I would notify the teacher.

I work with 10 year olds. I hear a lot of stories. There may be a lot more going on, and the kids is just telling part of the story. Our school will give a lunch to a kid that needs it. No one goes hungry. The teachers at my school have also been known to give "the talk" about hygiene. The teacher can be very discrete, and find out what's happening.

 

[pfishgirl]

You have school on Monday? Sorry that jumped out on me. I thought everybody would be on break.

That is a tough one. Well since your dd wants to give him her lunch, which is against the rules in some schools, I would probably have to talk to the teacher.

Nope, last day is Wednesday.

Sharing lunch is against school rules? Really? I've never heard of that one. Wow.

 

[pfishgirl]

I'm sorry-but if she is not your DD, you have no "right" to contact the girl's teacher.

Sorry, but I will take my chances when the welfare of a child is involved