Would you be upset??

[FreshTressa]

DS, who is 6 and a new kindergartner this year had a bad day at school.

He was potty trained when he was 2 and a half and has NEVER had an accident. We travel a lot and are out a lot and he has just always had control.

Well, today at school, he had only been at school about a half an hour when he had to go really bad. He has never used the bathrooms at school and was afraid of them, so he waited till he had to go really bad. Anyway, he asks his teacher if he can go use the restroom and she says after he is done doing his projects. So, he finishes about 15 minutes later and finally goes. Well, he makes it to the toilet, but he can't get his pants unsnapped and winds up having an accident. So, he then spends the next HOUR in the bathroom crying until finally another boy went and got his teacher to come help him. He then had to sit in the sick room for another hour until I came and got him.

Poor guy. I felt so sorry for him.

I think it is weird, that in Kindergarten, a child can go to the bathroom and be gone an HOUR and his teacher not notice. This is the same teacher, that on the first day, left Aaron on the playground after his first recess for about 15 minutes till another teacher found him and brought him back to his room. She claimed it was his responsibility to make it to the recess line on time, and that he didn't listen and all the other kids managed to get in line, so it was his fault. I feel as a kindergartner, they still need a little help.

Should I confront the teacher about it? Would you be upset? Or is it reasonable to not notice one of your students is missing for an hour.

Thanks for your input.

 

[FreshTressa]

Oh, and is it okay to make a kindergartner wait to use the restroom?

 

[lynetteSC]

I am not a parent yet (in the middle of adoption now ) but, I would be FURIOUS if I were you!!! I would be calling the school to talk to a principal or such!!! After college, I was a director at a pre-school. I could not imagine having a teacher "lose" a child for an 15 mins much less an hour!!!!

 

[SparKeLLy]

Yes I'd be upset!!

This teacher doesn't seem to keep track of the kids very well.

I would definitely go talk to him or her and perhaps talk with school board or principal.

Especially since this isn't the first time.


I also don't think he should have been told to wait to use the restroom, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!

 

[Crush]

I have a kindergartener. It takes a very special person to be a kindergarten teacher, and it sounds like this person has no business in a kindergarten classroom.

You shouldn't bother talking to her...you should go straight to the administration. Your child is her responsibility during the hours he is at school. I would demand her resignation.

 

[Kimberle]

Oh, your poor little guy!!

He should have been able to go immediately, no waiting. And yes, not "missing" him for an HOUR is extremely extremely BAD!

My dd starts kindergarten next year. I would be extremely upset if something like this happened to her.

JMHO, but I would not want this teacher to even "babysit" my child, let alone "teach" him/her.

 

[Cruisin]

Would I be upset? You bet I would.
Is it possible to miss a student from your class for 1 hour, well I suppose in kindergarten is less structured than a higher grade where everyone sits in rows at desks. So I guess it could happen. But it shouldn't happen. The teacher's responsibility is to know where her students are at all times that she is in charge of them.
Does he has a large class or a class with a lot of "problem" children in it? My daughter (now 16) had a small class but there were so many behaviour problems that the teacher could not do half of the things she was looking forward to doing. So the "good" kids missed out.
No at that age I think they should have access to a washroom unless it is an obvious trick that a student trys to pull on the teacher all of the time.

 

[mrsmom]

I have a ds who is in first grade who will not use the bathroom unless he has to for a bm.. we make him go before school but this has worked so far and i am waiting for something to happen. as for your question, I would be furious if this happen to him. I would definately talk to the teacher and principal and i would have him moved to a different teacher.
That's unexcusable! Poor little Boy!!
Kim

 

[gravymom]

FreshTressa,

I have a 5 yo DD who is in kindergarten. The kids are not allowed to go to the restroom alone (must go in at least pairs.) I would be madder than hell if this had happened to my daughter. First of all, when you have to go, you HAVE to go. Period!

Second, to have a child alone, out of class, unsupervised for an HOUR is outrageous. My imagination races with what can happen to a child in 10 minutes, let alone an hour!

That teacher has no business teaching kindergarten. She needs to be in middle school (or better yet, a prison.)

I am not sure if I am more outraged at your son being alone and wet in the bathroom for an hour or being left unsupervised outside for 15 minutes. Both of these incidents are dangerous and uncalled for. You need to have a serious chat with the principal and nip this in the bud.

Give your son a hug - he did not deserve to be treated this way!!

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Tressa, have you heard the teacher's version? I've found that a child's perception of time and events often differs from an adults and that the truth is often somewhere in between.

 

[tw1nsmom]

I would be furious as well! I am a parent and I have a degree in teaching (not using it now). First of all it isn't appropriate to withhold bathroom priveleges until work is done. She has no way of knowing what kind of bladder control your child has and kids this age are notorious for waiting until the last minute (I student taught in a kindergarten class). Secondly, it is her responsibility to know where the children in her charge are located at all times. I could see her giving some kind of punishment for not lining up at recess (5 minute time out at the next recess), but it's inexcusable to say that it was that child's fault that he was left behind. Add all this to the fact that your son was left in the bathroom for an hour (anything could have happened to him during that time) and you come up with a teacher that is not providing a safe environment for your child. I would request a meeting with the principal immediately. If they can't resolve this to your satisfaction, I would demand that he be placed in another classroom. These are safety issues that can't be ignored. I hope this is resolved quickly for you, and I'm sorry your son had to go through all this.

 

[MAC3]

Absolutely Furious!

She should have never made him wait, I know they do things like that with children in older grades who may be stalling for time.

But also in the smaller grades shouldn't they be sending the children to the bathroom via the buddy system?

I can't blame him for being afraid to go to the bathroom. I've seen the bathrooms at my DD school they are frightening.

Poor Child being there by himself for any length of time must have been scary.

 

[CEDmom]

I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with a teacher having a child wait a few minutes until they completed their work to go to the bathroom. However, I would be very concerned about a teacher not knowing where students (especially young children) were and having other teachers have to return them. Especially since the teacher knew your son went to the bathroom and should have returned in a few minutes. I would recommend a meeting with the teacher and the principal to understand the story fully. If you still don't feel comfortable with the situation then consider requesting a room change. I also would recommend working with your son to help him overcome his bathroom fears. I know my DD isn't crazy about public bathrooms and it's taken a lot of work to get her to use them.

 

[zurgswife]

First I would check with the teacher as to he version especially on the time frame and how she feels it could be avoided...if you don't like her answer I would either talk to her and explain your concerns or go to the principal if you don't feel comfortable talking with the teacher..

Second, I have a Kindergartener and I would be furious.

Our bathrooms are in the classroom and children can go anytime they want. I agree that the teacher has no idea what kind of bladder control each child has and should make a kindergartener wait.

So, even if my daughter got up without ask and went to the bathroom I'm sure her teacher would have noticed if she was gone for 1HOUR....that is horrible....if it was 15 mins that would be too long to be gone without an adult checking to see if there was a problem.

 

[FreshTressa]

I know it was an hour because he said the kids were at recess when he got back to the classroom and when he left the classroom it was reading time. But I am going to ask to get her version of the story first.

 

[JetMom]

I have taught kindegarten, am currently a pre-school director and have 3 DS's (one of whom is in Kindergarten). I expect early childhood and elementary teachers to know where every child is all of the time. Is this easy? NO! Is it doable? Yes! I, personally, am a compulsive counter. When my class lines up to move from place to place I count them. If a child is not in line, I would notice. A child in the bathroom for an hour, could be sick or hurt or who knows what! This teacher was greatly amiss in her job performance.

 

[Melora]

I would be upset.... I do not think a kindergardener should have to wait to use the potty.. maybe towards the end of the school year, but not now.

As for the lining up thing...yes its the kids responsibility to figure out where to go..but its the teachers responsibilty to make sure the kid KNOWS where to go. I taught in the kindergarden class for 5 years (we had our own playground so it was really easy to see if a kid was still out there) but we always took a head count in the beginning of the year. And if a kid went to the potty we would moniter when they got back..even if they were only in the other room.

Id want my kid in another class..pronto!!

 

[SandraM]

Poor little guy. What an awful thing to happen to him.
I personally would have no confidence in this teacher and would not be happy with my child remaining in this class. As this is not the first incident, and this was a serious one, I would go straight to the top and insist my child be removed from this teacher's care (or vice versa!)
Good luck.

 

[Mskanga]

First of all, eventhough I would be furious inside, I would give the teacher a chance to explain what happened. Kids so young have no idea about time and what could have been 5 minutes, could feel like an hour to them, my 6 almost 7 yr old still does not know how long an hour is.
But I would be furious if someone did not let my child go to the bathroom when she asked. A similar situation happened to my dd when she was in first grade , they were both partially at fault, my dd waited until the last possible second when she finally remembered that she had to go to the bathroom , and the teacher thought she could wait a few more minutes, she made it to the bathroom, but she never made it to the toilet , and she had a skirt on that day.
I couldn't be mad just at the teacher, I know my dd, she did that to me all the time, wait till the last possible second and then had to run, and the teacher learned that when she says she has to go, she REALLY has to go. The embarrassment was worse than anything I could have said , dd never waited to the last second again.
About the line up thing, doesn't the teacher do a head count? I know ours do. THAT would make me furious!!

 

[Dreamer04]

I don't usually post here, but I HAD to chime in. Children at this age are famous for waiting until the last minute. Every teacher I've known has permitted children to use the bathroom on demand, as well as a bathroom break for the entire class.

As far as the hour away from class goes, the thing that bothers me the most is that it has happened before. Did you talk to other parents to see if they have had the same experience? I bet they have.

When my DD, now in 1st grade, was in kindergarten, she was not responsible to line up after recess. I mean that the class doesn't leave until everyone is together, period.

I can understand asking my daughter to wait if a bathroom isn't immedialty available, like when we are driving. But telling a child to complete their work before they can go is torture! And also makes for some shoddy work habits.