Won't let DD do BBB---Am I the only one?

[kohlby]

Answering the original post, no I won't let DD do BBB either. She's 5 years old. I don't let her play with make-up at home either. I have no issues with other people doing it with their kids. (Like I have no problems with other little girls playing with Barbies and we are a Barbie-free household). I don't want to push the idea that make-up would make her look better. Getting a butterfly pain painted on her face is different - I'm pretty sure there aren't teens who think getting their face painted is needed to enhance their looks. But adult make-up is a whole different story. The princess culture bothers me a bit as well unless it's a princess who is strong and powerful and actually does something other than look pretty. And don't understand why make-up means looking better in kids and young teens. (And even many older teens and some adults).

I suppose I could just let her do the hair and not the make-up, but then there's all that goop they put in it and the chemicals. I could tell them to do a loose hairstyle and skip the gel, but I could do that at home easily. Plus, I really don't like the princess subculture, so just doing a loose gel-free hairstyle wouldn't help with that.

 

[CaFeeney]

Kohlby - so very well said! Here's a mom that agrees with you, but I understand why many people go to the BBB and that the girls enjoy it.

Fortunately my DD (5) has no desire to go as she hates having her hair brushed or pulled in any way.

The choices we make for our kids aren't easy and we often have to make unpopular decisions but I feel we all need to do what is best for our family and respect that others do what is right for theirs. For our family we choose not to participate as it doesn't jive with my view of how young girls or women should be portrayed. If you and you child love it - great, I have no issue - you as the parent have that choice.

 

[Colleen27]

We did it when DD was 6 and she loved it. I look forward to taking my younger DD if/when she gets into her princess phase. But I look at it like Halloween - the rules are different than everyday. She gets her face painted on pretty much every trip and once I let her do the Pirate League "cursed pirate" makeover too, and I don't see a meaningful difference between this:

This:

And this (though this one was MUCH harder to wash off!!):

And as far as innocence goes, she certainly hasn't lost any innocence by playing dress up on a Disney vacation. She's very "young" for almost-10 (age-appropriate IMO, but young/innocent compared to her peers), still happy to wear princess dresses at WDW, insisting on matching her 2yo sister for holidays/special events, and wanting me to make her clothes when her friends are shopping at Abercrombie and wearing 'padded' type bras to look more "mature".

 

[princessmom29]

In the context of BBB, I think "tricked out" is a pretty good definition, as in having all the bells and whistles. And at the prices that one pays at BBB, I would hope that all possible bells and whistles would be thrown in.
And for all the comparisons between BBB makeup and facepaint, again, painted up would be an acceptable term.
Finally, this thread is about BBB in genreal, not about your child in particular. No one called YOUR child a strumpet or a lady of the night or anything close. This isn't about YOUR child.

My problem is that she quoted me as said "you can go paint up your child however you want". It WAS directed at ME and MY CHILD. AS you can see by several responese here, I was not the only one who found it offensive.

 

[princessmom29]

Answering the original post, no I won't let DD do BBB either. She's 5 years old. I don't let her play with make-up at home either. I have no issues with other people doing it with their kids. (Like I have no problems with other little girls playing with Barbies and we are a Barbie-free household). I don't want to push the idea that make-up would make her look better. Getting a butterfly pain painted on her face is different - I'm pretty sure there aren't teens who think getting their face painted is needed to enhance their looks. But adult make-up is a whole different story. The princess culture bothers me a bit as well unless it's a princess who is strong and powerful and actually does something other than look pretty. And don't understand why make-up means looking better in kids and young teens. (And even many older teens and some adults).

I suppose I could just let her do the hair and not the make-up, but then there's all that goop they put in it and the chemicals. I could tell them to do a loose hairstyle and skip the gel, but I could do that at home easily. Plus, I really don't like the princess subculture, so just doing a loose gel-free hairstyle wouldn't help with that.

now this, I totally get. I look at it differently, but here is reasoning that makes total sense to me.

We look at makeup not as something that makes DD "look better" at all, but as a tool. eE do it for dance because we need it under the stage lights for her face to show up. She is welcome to wear it with a costume if she chooses, but she doesn't "need" it. I too and a huge proponent of strong female role models and empowering her so she feels she doesn't "need" to be cool, popular, ect. I really don't care for Barbie, and we approach princesses and dress up form a "you can be whatever you want" perspective. DD is just as likely to do a Star Wars character or Batman as a princess. We like to keep as many options open as possible.

 

[ma2nojo]

Women and girls can wear make-up and be strong at the same time- thank God! My daughter is beautiful and I tell her so everyday. I am also teaching her that looks do not define who she is or what her self worth is- it's her attitude, ideals, intelligence, independence, actions, and compassion that will define who she is.

Before my DD6 was born I was absolutely not going to give her Barbies, make-up, princesses, or fast food. Wow! That certainly went out the window once she begun to play with friends and formed her own opinions and didn't necessarily agree to what I thought. I had to realize that I cannot make her believe as I do and I don't want to because I want her to form her own opinions. I also realized tht above really doesn't matter in the long run- it's many other things that combine to make her who she is.


It's one heck of a day and age to raise a daughter!

Funny story.... yesterday I was at the make-up counter in a store looking for concealer to erase dark undereye circles. After the woman applied the concealer and a light foundation my kids looked at me and said, "Wow mom, you aren't tired anymore!" Magical sleep in a bottle!

 

[Colleen27]

now this, I totally get. I look at it differently, but here is reasoning that makes total sense to me.

We look at makeup not as something that makes DD "look better" at all, but as a tool. eE do it for dance because we need it under the stage lights for her face to show up. She is welcome to wear it with a costume if she chooses, but she doesn't "need" it. I too and a huge proponent of strong female role models and empowering her so she feels she doesn't "need" to be cool, popular, ect. I really don't care for Barbie, and we approach princesses and dress up form a "you can be whatever you want" perspective. DD is just as likely to do a Star Wars character or Batman as a princess. We like to keep as many options open as possible.

I agree. I don't worry too much about DD thinking she needs makeup to look better because she has a number of female role models in her life who don't wear makeup on a daily basis (myself included). She doesn't dance any more but when she did we presented makeup as a tool, same as the costumes and dyed-to-match shoes, and her teacher actually illustrated proper makeup technique in part by having the girls sit in the audience to see what natural vs made-up looks like from the audience POV.

When it comes to the princess "culture", we talk about historical context and how that relates to the changing roles of and expectations for women over time. The newer princesses aren't the beautiful, helpless creatures of the original princess stories because women now aren't expected to be attractive and dependent the way they were back then. DD9's favorite princess has been Pocahontas for years, followed by Mulan and more recently Tiana. She liked the "helpless" princesses when she was at an age of picking a favorite by the color of her dress, but as she got older the stories/characters matter more and she gravitates towards the more adventurous princess characters.

 

[maxiesmom]

We did it when DD was 6 and she loved it. I look forward to taking my younger DD if/when she gets into her princess phase. But I look at it like Halloween - the rules are different than everyday. She gets her face painted on pretty much every trip and once I let her do the Pirate League "cursed pirate" makeover too, and I don't see a meaningful difference between this:

This:

And this (though this one was MUCH harder to wash off!!):

The middle picture is what my niece looked like too after her day at the BBB. Very pretty, but not heavily made-up. A definate princess. I only wish she would do something like the last picture, that is very cool! But there is no way she would go for it.

 

[dntd]

A The princess culture bothers me a bit as well unless it's a princess who is strong and powerful and actually does something other than look pretty. (And even many older teens and some adults).

What disney princess isn't strong and powerful? SnowWhite and Cinderella was abused then married into royalty proving there past abuse didn't effect them. All the princesses had to survive a huge ordeal, even sleeping beauty! Just because she isn't looking like a tough like a man like Mulan tried to doesn't make them weak. All princesses need to look good once and a while, Belle was in a white and blue normal dress but did dress up. Snow white wasn't dressed up,nor was Cinderella though the whole movie. Kids want to dress up as their favourite character during a happy time in the move such as a wedding or ball!

 

[Jerseyguy's Wife]

I thank God everyday that I have boys...

 

[iheartdisney]

What disney princess isn't strong and powerful? SnowWhite and Cinderella was abused then married into royalty proving there past abuse didn't effect them. All the princesses had to survive a huge ordeal, even sleeping beauty! Just because she isn't looking like a tough like a man like Mulan tried to doesn't make them weak. All princesses need to look good once and a while, Belle was in a white and blue normal dress but did dress up. Snow white wasn't dressed up,nor was Cinderella though the whole movie. Kids want to dress up as their favourite character during a happy time in the move such as a wedding or ball!

Yes, but when watching the earlier princess movies, what do they teach our girls about the basis for a successful relationship?
Snow White- she was beautifu. AND she sits around waiting for her prince to come, rather than getting herself out of the situation- prince fell in love with her
Cinderella- she was beautiful, a good dancer and had dainty feet- prince fell in love with her
Ariel- She has a nice voice, so Prince falls in love with her.


None of these guys has ANYTHING going for them, other than royalty. Snow White's prince doesn't even warrant a name, and don't get me started on Dopey Prince Eric!!!

Compare that to the more recent princesses (from Belle forward) the characters form a relationship, beyond just the love at first sight mumbo jumbo. Usually there is an adveture involoved where the characters get to know each other and then grow in love, rather than falling in love.
This is mainly why i love Tiana SO much! She has dreams and vision. No offense, but the earlier princesses were pretty much airheads, walking around a forest singing all day. In Enchanted, Disney did a great job of poking fun at their flawed character developments of the past.
And kids only want to dress up as characters in their ball gowns... because that is what Disney markets! My girls would LOVE a Blue Belle dress, or a Pink Cinderella Dress but there are none to be found! In fact, many girls won't wear the ball dresses because they are intchy and hot and they can't walk in them.

 

[southern_redhead]

Yes, but when watching the earlier princess movies, what do they teach our girls about the basis for a successful relationship?
Snow White- she was beautifu. AND she sits around waiting for her prince to come, rather than getting herself out of the situation- prince fell in love with her
Cinderella- she was beautiful, a good dancer and had dainty feet- prince fell in love with her
Ariel- She has a nice voice, so Prince falls in love with her.


None of these guys has ANYTHING going for them, other than royalty. Snow White's prince doesn't even warrant a name, and don't get me started on Dopey Prince Eric!!!

Compare that to the more recent princesses (from Belle forward) the characters form a relationship, beyond just the love at first sight mumbo jumbo. Usually there is an adveture involoved where the characters get to know each other and then grow in love, rather than falling in love.
This is mainly why i love Tiana SO much! She has dreams and vision. No offense, but the earlier princesses were pretty much airheads, walking around a forest singing all day. In Enchanted, Disney did a great job of poking fun at their flawed character developments of the past.
And kids only want to dress up as characters in their ball gowns... because that is what Disney markets! My girls would LOVE a Blue Belle dress, or a Pink Cinderella Dress but there are none to be found! In fact, many girls won't wear the ball dresses because they are intchy and hot and they can't walk in them.

First, I don't think every movie that is a love story has to TEACH anything. Or perhaps the lesson is that everyone is lovable to someone - even if they've spent their whole lives, to that point, feeling or being told otherwise. I doubt Cinderella or Snow White felt loved but they both seemed to have some amount of self confidence and desire to perservere. Also, they wandered around the forest singing all day because A) it was *fantasy* and B) these movies were heavily musical - what else was the princess who lived in the castle and kept away from the public going to do? I kind of think of them as being schooled in the art of self-entertainment, a little like Rapunzel and her drawings. As a woman, I'm a little tired of the knee jerk reaction some people have to a woman being "rescued". It happens, just like men can be rescued. It doesn't mean they are weak or stupid, just that they needed some outside help. And it seems to me that Ariel accomplished quite a bit - she wanted to see the humans at the beginning of the movie and she did, despite her father's warning against it. She fell in love with the prince and wanted to become human to be with him...and she did. I remember seeing her as rather triumphant by the end of the movie. IIRC, Snow White lived with the dwarves and became a mother figure to them. That's hardly sitting around, painting her nails, and pining for a prince. And Cinderella worked as the family maid. So she was cute and had nice feet - I don't see that making her less deserving of a prince. I think the writers just thought it would be funny to give such mean spirited girls (stepsisters) and ugly face and clodhoppers. It was like "ugly inside, ugly outside" and they couldn't see it because to them rich was beautiful.

As for the bolded, I'd think you could easily make these or have them made if your daughter really wanted one. I can't imagine that making a simple dress and tie-back apron could cost more than one of those dresses they sell at BBB. And just imagine the reaction your child would get wearing one in the parks - they would be so unique!

 

[princessmom29]

Yes, but when watching the earlier princess movies, what do they teach our girls about the basis for a successful relationship?
Snow White- she was beautifu. AND she sits around waiting for her prince to come, rather than getting herself out of the situation- prince fell in love with her
Cinderella- she was beautiful, a good dancer and had dainty feet- prince fell in love with her
Ariel- She has a nice voice, so Prince falls in love with her.


None of these guys has ANYTHING going for them, other than royalty. Snow White's prince doesn't even warrant a name, and don't get me started on Dopey Prince Eric!!!

Compare that to the more recent princesses (from Belle forward) the characters form a relationship, beyond just the love at first sight mumbo jumbo. Usually there is an adveture involoved where the characters get to know each other and then grow in love, rather than falling in love.
This is mainly why i love Tiana SO much! She has dreams and vision. No offense, but the earlier princesses were pretty much airheads, walking around a forest singing all day. In Enchanted, Disney did a great job of poking fun at their flawed character developments of the past.
And kids only want to dress up as characters in their ball gowns... because that is what Disney markets! My girls would LOVE a Blue Belle dress, or a Pink Cinderella Dress but there are none to be found! In fact, many girls won't wear the ball dresses because they are intchy and hot and they can't walk in them.

my DD has both blue belle and piny cindy. I made them for her, and she does perfer them to the ballgown if she is going to wear the m for a long time. I have seen both dresses marketed by diseny ar different times, but only on occasion. There are many sellers on ebay and etsy who make them as well.

 

[princessmom29]

As for the bolded, I'd think you could easily make these or have them made if your daughter really wanted one. I can't imagine that making a simple dress and tie-back apron could cost more than one of those dresses they sell at BBB. And just imagine the reaction your child would get wearing one in the parks - they would be so unique!

I made them both. Nither was hard, and the DD got to dance with the prince. She wore the blue Belle to the Norway princess meal, and we found Belle in her blue dress with the beast in France. I have some wonderful pictures of the beast acting confused as to which was the real Belle, and of DD wearing Belle's cape. She didn't wear makeup with either one, but did with her Tiana ball gown in MK.

 

[iheartdisney]

First, I don't think every movie that is a love story has to TEACH anything. Or perhaps the lesson is that everyone is lovable to someone - even if they've spent their whole lives, to that point, feeling or being told otherwise. I doubt Cinderella or Snow White felt loved but they both seemed to have some amount of self confidence and desire to perservere. Also, they wandered around the forest singing all day because A) it was *fantasy* and B) these movies were heavily musical - what else was the princess who lived in the castle and kept away from the public going to do? I kind of think of them as being schooled in the art of self-entertainment, a little like Rapunzel and her drawings. As a woman, I'm a little tired of the knee jerk reaction some people have to a woman being "rescued". It happens, just like men can be rescued. It doesn't mean they are weak or stupid, just that they needed some outside help. And it seems to me that Ariel accomplished quite a bit - she wanted to see the humans at the beginning of the movie and she did, despite her father's warning against it. She fell in love with the prince and wanted to become human to be with him...and she did. I remember seeing her as rather triumphant by the end of the movie. IIRC, Snow White lived with the dwarves and became a mother figure to them. That's hardly sitting around, painting her nails, and pining for a prince. And Cinderella worked as the family maid. So she was cute and had nice feet - I don't see that making her less deserving of a prince. I think the writers just thought it would be funny to give such mean spirited girls (stepsisters) and ugly face and clodhoppers. It was like "ugly inside, ugly outside" and they couldn't see it because to them rich was beautiful.

As for the bolded, I'd think you could easily make these or have them made if your daughter really wanted one. I can't imagine that making a simple dress and tie-back apron could cost more than one of those dresses they sell at BBB. And just imagine the reaction your child would get wearing one in the parks - they would be so unique!

You missed the whole point, yes, Snow White and Cinderella were good housekeepers along with their singing skills. And I suppose you think it is admirable that Ariel deliberately disobeyed her father and risked not only her life but his as well for someone that she barely laid eyes on.
The point is- why did the princes love them? What interaction did the couples in each of these movies have, other than the prince saw them and fell in love with them for no other depth than their looks, voices and dancing skills.
Sorry, but life doesn't work that way! Love at first sight wears off, and if little girls grow up believing that if "I love someone he will love me back and we'll live happily ever after"... they are in for a rude awakening. Again, that is why I prefer the latter princesses where they grow in love, rather than the ridiculous notion that one dance and it is Happily Ever After

 

[maxiesmom]

You missed the whole point, yes, Snow White and Cinderella were good housekeepers along with their singing skills. And I suppose you think it is admirable that Ariel deliberately disobeyed her father and risked not only her life but his as well for someone that she barely laid eyes on.
The point is- why did the princes love them? What interaction did the couples in each of these movies have, other than the prince saw them and fell in love with them for no other depth than their looks, voices and dancing skills.
Sorry, but life doesn't work that way! Love at first sight wears off, and if little girls grow up believing that if "I love someone he will love me back and we'll live happily ever after"... they are in for a rude awakening. Again, that is why I prefer the latter princesses where they grow in love, rather than the ridiculous notion that one dance and it is Happily Ever After

I didn't know fairy tales had to be realistic. And I think you are underestimating little girls anyway. I don't think they believe that when they are bigger a man will take one look and fall in love, as much as I don't think they believe animals really talk and sew dresses. Kids get what play and prentend are.

And, fwiw, Mulan had a talking dragon. That is not realistic either. And she had to pretend to be a boy to get any respect to start with. Is that a good example to be setting for little girls ?

 

[Colleen27]

And kids only want to dress up as characters in their ball gowns... because that is what Disney markets! My girls would LOVE a Blue Belle dress, or a Pink Cinderella Dress but there are none to be found! In fact, many girls won't wear the ball dresses because they are intchy and hot and they can't walk in them.

Nah, Disney markets those dresses because little girls *like* frills and fantasy. There are a number of good sources for less scratchy, better quality princess gowns (we've never actually bought a princess dress from Disney - I went from Little Dress Up Shop's soft, sweet dresses to making my own), but even from small sellers on Etsy/eBay it is hard to find the plainer dresses and the ones you do find tend to sell more slowly and for less than the ballgowns.

I don't mind the "love at first sight"/happily ever after stuff in the princess stories. That isn't reality, but who cares? Kids can distinguish between the two from a pretty young age, which is why you don't hear people worrying about Diego teaching preschoolers to play with wildlife or Dora teaching kids to wander off on their own. Heck, I'm a 30-something woman, married almost a decade, and I still read romance novels from time to time. I don't care that it isn't a realistic portrayal of life/love. It is harmless, lighthearted fantasy where everyone is happy in the end... Same as Cinderella and Snow White.

 

[dntd]

Because for some reason rebuilding your life in the foods with dwarfs some how ruins childhood. I can think of almost a million things worse for girls then pretending to be a princess( Let's play Bambi shot mother or dumbo's drunken clowns) In my eyes all girls are princesses and if they want to they my dress like one Some costumes are too racy but not the ball gowns.

 

[WDWJonasGirl]

I'm 16 but I don't think I would do BBB because it is way too expensive for me.

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

I'd let DD do BBB.. But, I wouldn't let her do a hair piece.. and it would have to be lip gloss/lip stick.. that's it. (plus sparkles!) ...