It's easy for you all to sit here and say how we have to protect kids, etc. It's easy to say "CPS is doing great work". It's easy to do that if you've never been subject to an investigation.
My daughter (8) pushed my son (6) down the stairs and broke his arm. At the hospital the doctor asked what happened. I told her that my daughter pushed my son down the stairs. She called CPS on me because I "blamed my daughter" and "an 8 year old is not responsible for their own actions".
It was months of hell. CPS can, and will, contact your employer, relatives, neighbors, child's school, etc. Their power is large and unwieldy and they will do ANYTHING to prove you are an unfit parent. I'm sitting in the interview and the CPS person is like "why did you blame your daughter for your son's injury" and I'm like "she pushed him down the stairs. What am I supposed to say when the doctor asks how he got the injury" and she's like 'you can't say your daughter pushed your son down the stairs. That is bad parenting." and I'm like "but that's what happened" and she's like "no, it's your fault because you LET your daughter push your son down the stairs".
CPS didn't care AT ALL about my son who had a broken arm. The entire focus of their "investigation" was my relationship with my daughter.
Spend 10 minutes on Google looking for "CPS out of control" and you will learn the truth.
I've been investigated by CPS before. My 2 day old baby had jaundice at the time, which required light treatment. I wanted to rent the light box at home ($70/day), but the doctor wanted to do it in the hospital ($1000/day). (The doctor was just one of many at the clinic I visit, where they rotate doctors. I always thought she was the worst doctor I've ever met, but I didn't figure it would hurt anything. A friend of mine's doctor had her baby do it at home for the savings.) I said no hospital and rented the light box, and the next thing I knew, CPS showed up at my door. She asked, didn't the doctor tell you I'm coming? I said um, no? But come on in!
We sat down and I explained to her my reasoning, showed her webpages that explain how jaundice was treated, and explained my rented light box.
She asked me everything, even about my other kids too. I explained that my oldest was the most popular kid in school, my second had won the talent show for his piano, my third, who was at home, was tested as gifted in school. Eventually, she told me that there must have been a misunderstanding between me and the doctor and left, and never showed up again.
I found a different doctor for my baby and his jaundice cleared out in a few days. He was such a beautiful baby! Now he's a beautiful, sweet 2 year old who has been to Disney World 3 times.
I did put him on a harness at times at Disney World so that he doesn't run off and get lost and get killed. I also spanked him once in public at WDW, about 2 months ago. We were at the GF food court at the time. The pizza came, so we started eating, and, for no apparent reason, my DS2 pulled his shoe off, threw it at my DS12, missed him, and the shoe landed on the pizza! I burst out laughing, said OMG, jumped up, grabbed my DS2, and smacked him hard on the behind, telling him no throwing shoes. So he started screaming, and I popped him in the stroller and pushed him right out of there, with other people staring at us. I walked around outside and waited for my family to finish the pizza inside. DS2 soon stopped crying, and we continued our magical vacation at Disney! We had such a great time!
We also went to California Grill for the first time during the last trip. My DS2 sat there and ate like a gentleman during the entire hour long meal, never making a single noise or wrong move. The food was that good!
(The CPS lady left a card. My DS12 (then 10) found the card and kept it in his treasure box. Once in a while he would take it out and wave it at me.)
Parenting can be difficult in Disney World, and it's easy to watch on the side, catch the parent at the worst moment, and pass instant judgement. There's a lot of pressure to keeping the Disney trip "perfect" because it's so expensive, and in doing so makes things worse and increase stress and frustration. The kids nag about quitting at the middle of the day? No, not when you are paying $400 a day to be there!
I personally do not find dragging the kid on a harness such a horrible thing. Toddlers fall all the time, whether you drag them or not. The mother's mistake is in taking a frustrating kid to Disney World that she has a hard time handling. It's better to just pick him up and carry him if he doesn't feel like walking, and if she doesn't want to do that, don't take him out. That means no Disney World, but it beats the heck out of being arrested.
I remember this one woman recounts this story of her taking her autistic 10 year old to the grocery store. The son fell in love with the automatic door and refused to leave, so she had to pull him to the car, screaming. She did not yell or hit him or anything. Some stranger than walked up to her and said, "This is not his fault. This is YOUR fault."
There are definitely abusive parents out there. I myself come from an abusive family, so I understand where CPS is coming from. But in the United States, basically any form of discipline is considered abuse by some people, making parenting a "rock and a hard place" kind of job. If you don't discipline your child, he is unruly and it's your fault. If you do discipline your child, then you are abusive and it's your fault.
I know this one rich kid years ago. His parents totally spoiled him and never disciplined him at all. When he turned sixteen, his parents bought him a new sports car. He was driving down the highway at 100mph, hit some bump, and the car went flying. They later found bits of him and the car along a mile stretch of the highway. I think that the parents killed the kid, but they never got in trouble for it.
Bill
