Why is it such a personal matter?

[disney1990]

Also, I believe it is policy in many companies that you do not discuss salaries. To do so could mean disciplinary action or even termination.

Actually, in many states, your right to discuss salary information is protected by State law. But, people choose to not discuss it.

I love when Parade Magazine, once a year does there "What do they make" issue.

 

[agnes!]

I was raised that you just do not ever discuss money. It is a personal matter and not something to talk about. I remember calling Dan Murphy once to talk to him about money. He is a good friend, a father figure to me and a financial planner. I wanted his opinion on some things I was trying to decide on and wasn't sure about the advice I was getting from the 2 people I was talking about with. I wasn't really throwing numbers out there but it was still super hard for me to talk about.

It was just how I was raised and how my friends were raised. Money was not discussed. I saw that question and my eyes popped a bit. LOL

You actually *know* Dan Murphy? That is so cool!

agnes!
PS - I, of course, am referring to the Dan Murphy here on the DIS...is there any other?

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Its not a topic of discussion between me and my friends. I figure that unless somebody is contributing to my household, they really don't need to know what my income is. I used to be open about that kind of info with close friends and found there was too much comparing, critiquing and hostility. Not worth it. I figure people can speculate about our income and they'll probably have much more juicy conversations that way.

I did have a friend that found it necessary for some reason to tell me what she makes and that she out earns her DH by twice as much. Not sure what the purpose in that was other than to put her own DH down-and it was definitely said in that vein. Anyway, that was TMI for me and turned me off to her. I never felt a burning need to know what other people make.

 

[*Fantasia*]

Income is a personal matter (at least for me). .. It's just like talking about sex.. We don't share how we engage sex or lack of, do we on the DIS?.. unless I missed that thread. I don't dare to ask even if it's my family about what they make. That's their private info that will only be shared within their family or their spouse. However, I will talk about religion with my family because we have the same faith.

 

[JARNJ3]

People are not paid equally.

What I negotiated for a salary, may not be the same figure my co-worker is making.

Still, to this day, some men get paid more than their female counterparts for certain positions.

 

[traviesojmt]

I guess it comes down to what you are use to. Since we are military, every penny we make is posted on the internet and military newspapers for all to see. We know everyone's salary, their bonuses, retirement pay, and so on. I have never really noticed it making a difference that I know what my neighbors and friends are making. I would never ask anyone else what they make, but it wouldn't offend me if someone asked us.

 

[npmommie]

We don't share how we engage sex or lack of, do we on the DIS?.. unless I missed that thread.

I think you missed it........LOL

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I would never post my salary on the disboards, for the simple reason that in the future if I ever was to post about my finances, mention an upcoming vacation or purchase, or complain about the cost of something, someone would dredge up the post containing my salary and throw it back in my face. You know it's true!!

I've never really given it much thought. I think for me, it is something I don't like to talk about because our income is substantially higher than that of the people we're closest with in our community, and it is just awkward at times because I hate to think that our friends might feel bad or get jealous over the things we have. I have issues about that kind of stuff, though. I'm still not talking a lot about our new house IRL because I know many of our friends are worried about how to pay their mortgage/rent and I feel like it would be insensitive of me to talk about us buying a bigger house right now.

And..I think that's a responsible way, and usually the most common reason people don't talk about it.... Those who dont' make much don't feel it as 'bragging' or anything personal, so they don't find it a big deal....lol

But as the first post I quoted said... its sad that people have to worry about what others say... or even worse....those people feel they have a right to say it

 

[Tink415]

I was taught salary and money in general is private, don't ask, don't tell

When I was young and working as a department manger at a department store I saw a salary chart on the store managers desk one day and I checked it out. There were 3 of us in charge of similar size departments. I was a very young lady and the other 2 people were about 30 years older than me. The older lady made twice what I did, and the man made 3 times what I did. They had more experience than me, obviously, still I thought the differences were too large, didn't make sense, and I was not happy

So I changed careers. I worked in a medical lab where the director had everyones salary posted on the wall behind his desk. It took up the entire wall and was in LARGE print. This was in the 1970s. That was interesting. You could really see how education, experience, luck, and gender effected everyone's salary. The director was always happy to discuss salaries for the different jobs. Eventually I decided I couldn't make enough money at the lab - I didn't have enough education and I was the wrong gender

So, I went back to college and got another techincal degree. I was lucky and got my dream job with my dream company. The company didn't have a 'rule' that salary couldn't be discussed, but it wasn't encouraged and finding out the salary range for your own job and other jobs was (and still is) secretive. I made 3 good friends, 2 women and 1 man, same education, who started the same month I did. We discussed salary. We were all hired with the same starting salary. First raise after 6 months, the women all received the same percentage, the man received 1% more. First promotions, all within a month or two, the same thing happened again. I thought, hmmm, this is how men eventually make so much more. After a couple years we didn't discuss salary any longer. I guess you could say it caused 'too much comparing, critiquing and hostility' I wouldn't be surprised at all if the man made 25% or more than me today and we still have comparable positions. At this point in my life my salary is far down on my list of important things, but still its better that I don't know what he makes!

I think my parents had the right idea. Its the same thing I taught my kids. Not sure how I would feel if my salary was public knowledge on the internet or in the paper

 

[NotUrsula]

I was raised by working-class immigrant parents, and my dad got a job with the US Civil Service when I was a baby. I never knew a time when my Dad's income was not public record -- if you knew his Civil Service classification (and he'd tell that to anyone who asked) then you knew what he made. Of course, what he made and how much money he had (net worth) were different things, and the latter he would probably not have told you, because that would have been kind of walking-on-his-grave type information, and Dad was superstitious.

I never knew until I was in college that most middle-class Americans make a huge deadly serious secret out of what their paychecks look like; it was an alien concept to me. Social events when I was growing up tended to have a lot of discussions about what this or that job/employer paid; the men in my world were always on the lookout for a job that paid "good money."

I've been middle-class for about 25 years now, but I still think that paycheck secrecy is stupid. For one thing, it helps to keep alive the gender pay gap. I don't broadcast my salary from the rooftops, but IRL if you work in the same field that I do, or are thinking about it, and ask me, I'll tell you.

 

[npmommie]

I was raised by working-class immigrant parents, and my dad got a job with the US Civil Service when I was a baby. I never knew a time when my Dad's income was not public record -- if you knew his Civil Service classification (and he'd tell that to anyone who asked) then you knew what he made. Of course, what he made and how much money he had (net worth) were different things, and the latter he would probably not have told you, because that would have been kind of walking-on-his-grave type information, and Dad was superstitious.

I never knew until I was in college that most middle-class Americans make a huge deadly serious secret out of what their paychecks look like; it was an alien concept to me. Social events when I was growing up tended to have a lot of discussions about what this or that job/employer paid; the men in my world were always on the lookout for a job that paid "good money."

I've been middle-class for about 25 years now, but I still think that paycheck secrecy is stupid. For one thing, it helps to keep alive the gender pay gap. I don't broadcast my salary from the rooftops, but IRL if you work in the same field that I do, or are thinking about it, and ask me, I'll tell you.

I guess thats why its an alien concept to me too. My hubby was uscg, so if you knew his rank you knew his pay, now he is a state govt worker, and its on the internet.
me, I am of the same thinking, if someone is interested in the field I am in and they want to know what to expect for pay, I would tell.

 

[Darsa]

Personally, I don't discuss my pay rate because I'm low man on the totem pole at work, and I make the least of anyone there, and I find it a bit embarrassing, especially since I'm told fairly regularly that I should be paid a lot more just for putting up with my boss

Also, I really think that a lot of people get satisfaction out of knowing that they make more than other people, and I feel that's kind of uncool. I don't want to be that person, and I don't want to be the person on the OTHER end either.

 

[Katy Belle]

I agree in theory But in reality perhaps its better NOT to know. I found out a few years ago that DSIL and her DH were making over $90,000. This is the DSIL that lived in rent house that was costing $150 a month and was getting free childcare from her mother and her MIL. And I had been listening to MIL and all of her "Poor Sissy" stories, they just have NO money. Yeah. So now I wish I didn't know! She gives cheapo gifts, if anything at all and is constantly looking for a handout. I was happier living in the dark!

Katy

 

[C.Ann]

I would never post my salary on the disboards, for the simple reason that in the future if I ever was to post about my finances, mention an upcoming vacation or purchase, or complain about the cost of something, someone would dredge up the post containing my salary and throw it back in my face. You know it's true!!

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As far as revealing ones salary here on the DIS, I think you really nailed it..