Like most people this year, I made two simple resolutions: eat better and exercise more. And, up until today, I was doing a pretty good job! 
I had my day all planned out, I was going to take the boys to swimming lessons then go to the gym, put them in the daycare at the gym and workout. After that we would go to the grocery store where I would purchase the fixings for a nice healthy salad.
Then my dh said he was taking my car to work. Now, it is MY car, (a nice sporty little 5-speed), but the boys get tummy aches riding in it and my DH does get tired of driving the minivan, so I twitchingly gave in and let him take the keys out of my firmly clenched fingers.
It was a great morning, I had the boys ready for swimming early so I even had visions of stopping of at Starbucks before swimming to fulfill a certain need (caffeine). My dad said he was going to meet us there and I was looking forward to chatting with him while I totally ignored the boys in the pool. (Isnt that why they have a lifeguard, so I can have adult conversations without worrying?) Then I noticed THE NOISE. It started when I pulled out of the driveway. It was a loud banging coming from the rear of the vehicle. The van drove OK, but seemed a little sluggish, but THE NOISE was even louder than the boys talking. As a matter of fact, THE NOISE was so scary, that the boys actually stopped talking for about a millisecond or even two.
So I did what any good driver would do. I called my husband to ask him what THE NOISE was. Some mechanic he was, he had no idea and advised me to go to a garage. Fortunately, as I was hanging up with him, a car pulled along side me and the guy told me that I had a flat tire. OH, thats what THE NOISE was! Well, my daddy didnt raise any dummies, and I know how to change a tire (also, my AAA membership expired and I wasnt planning any trips to Disney, so I didnt renew it), so I pulled into a parking lot to change the tire. I had my mom call my dad (who didnt have his cell phonehe never does) to come pick up the boys to take them swimming (didnt want to miss an opportunity to wear them out). My father offered me his AAA card, but heck, I dont need no stinking AAA card, I CAN change a tire.
And, really all was going swimmingly until it came to take off the lug nuts. The lug nuts that have been exposed to salt, rain, freeze and have become corroded onto the bolts. Remembering righty tighty, lefty loosey, I pushed, pulled and twisted my 100++++ pound force into the stupid nuts. No Go. Swearing did not work either. Looking around for help did no good until finally the twentieth or so car pulled into the parking lot. The woman obviously felt sorry for me and roused her still sleeping 20+ year old son out of the warm vehicle to help me. Unfortunately, he could not work the tire iron and keep his overly baggy pants up at the same time (and it was cold, and I could understand not wanting to risk frostbite). Couldnt get hold of my dad to run the AAA card over (no cell phone), so I called my mom to come with hers. Moms a late riser. Somehow, she thought not being able to get a tire changed is an emergency, so she came immediately. That is, without her teeth and with her hair still in rollers. Obviously, I did not want her out there helping me. We never did call AAA, cuz I did find the right combination of swear words with the right amount of torque and I got those relunctant lug nuts to come loose.
Ooops, baggy boy forgot his tire iron! I run over to give it to him and hes using the parking lot as a bathroom! Good thing his mother was still in the bank, but I am still worried about frostbite for the poor boy.
By the way, dont banks have bathrooms? I close my eyes, shudder and throw the tire iron in the direction of his car and say Thanks. (hope he didnt get an enlarged ego from that) 
.
With the help of a good Samaritan with well fitting pants, I get the spare on, only to discover that it is flat. (wished I hadnt sent Mom away, but really, NO teeth). Good Samaritan takes the tire to the gas station, has it filled and I start out to fulfill the rest of the day. The gym is still looking good as I come out of the post office and see the spare tire mostly flat. I mentally cross the gym off my to do list but figure tire changing is good for at least 100 calories. I drive to a gas station, put air in the spare and call my dh who insists I take the car to Sams club where the tire is under warranty. Knowing that driving on a flat is a big no-no, I stop at every gas station along the way and replenish the air supply. A 5 minute trip becomes a 30 minute trip.
Of course, they were giving away tires at Sams today and the wait was three hours long. The boys were bored in 15 minutes. I was crazy in 30. But we have a filled tire on the van, no spare (the tires are special order) and I am eating the last of the Christmas and Halloween candy. Good thing I didnt give up drinking for New Years.
I had my day all planned out, I was going to take the boys to swimming lessons then go to the gym, put them in the daycare at the gym and workout. After that we would go to the grocery store where I would purchase the fixings for a nice healthy salad.
Then my dh said he was taking my car to work. Now, it is MY car, (a nice sporty little 5-speed), but the boys get tummy aches riding in it and my DH does get tired of driving the minivan, so I twitchingly gave in and let him take the keys out of my firmly clenched fingers.
It was a great morning, I had the boys ready for swimming early so I even had visions of stopping of at Starbucks before swimming to fulfill a certain need (caffeine). My dad said he was going to meet us there and I was looking forward to chatting with him while I totally ignored the boys in the pool. (Isnt that why they have a lifeguard, so I can have adult conversations without worrying?) Then I noticed THE NOISE. It started when I pulled out of the driveway. It was a loud banging coming from the rear of the vehicle. The van drove OK, but seemed a little sluggish, but THE NOISE was even louder than the boys talking. As a matter of fact, THE NOISE was so scary, that the boys actually stopped talking for about a millisecond or even two.
So I did what any good driver would do. I called my husband to ask him what THE NOISE was. Some mechanic he was, he had no idea and advised me to go to a garage. Fortunately, as I was hanging up with him, a car pulled along side me and the guy told me that I had a flat tire. OH, thats what THE NOISE was! Well, my daddy didnt raise any dummies, and I know how to change a tire (also, my AAA membership expired and I wasnt planning any trips to Disney, so I didnt renew it), so I pulled into a parking lot to change the tire. I had my mom call my dad (who didnt have his cell phonehe never does) to come pick up the boys to take them swimming (didnt want to miss an opportunity to wear them out). My father offered me his AAA card, but heck, I dont need no stinking AAA card, I CAN change a tire.
And, really all was going swimmingly until it came to take off the lug nuts. The lug nuts that have been exposed to salt, rain, freeze and have become corroded onto the bolts. Remembering righty tighty, lefty loosey, I pushed, pulled and twisted my 100++++ pound force into the stupid nuts. No Go. Swearing did not work either. Looking around for help did no good until finally the twentieth or so car pulled into the parking lot. The woman obviously felt sorry for me and roused her still sleeping 20+ year old son out of the warm vehicle to help me. Unfortunately, he could not work the tire iron and keep his overly baggy pants up at the same time (and it was cold, and I could understand not wanting to risk frostbite). Couldnt get hold of my dad to run the AAA card over (no cell phone), so I called my mom to come with hers. Moms a late riser. Somehow, she thought not being able to get a tire changed is an emergency, so she came immediately. That is, without her teeth and with her hair still in rollers. Obviously, I did not want her out there helping me. We never did call AAA, cuz I did find the right combination of swear words with the right amount of torque and I got those relunctant lug nuts to come loose.
Ooops, baggy boy forgot his tire iron! I run over to give it to him and hes using the parking lot as a bathroom! Good thing his mother was still in the bank, but I am still worried about frostbite for the poor boy.
By the way, dont banks have bathrooms? I close my eyes, shudder and throw the tire iron in the direction of his car and say Thanks. (hope he didnt get an enlarged ego from that) .With the help of a good Samaritan with well fitting pants, I get the spare on, only to discover that it is flat. (wished I hadnt sent Mom away, but really, NO teeth). Good Samaritan takes the tire to the gas station, has it filled and I start out to fulfill the rest of the day. The gym is still looking good as I come out of the post office and see the spare tire mostly flat. I mentally cross the gym off my to do list but figure tire changing is good for at least 100 calories. I drive to a gas station, put air in the spare and call my dh who insists I take the car to Sams club where the tire is under warranty. Knowing that driving on a flat is a big no-no, I stop at every gas station along the way and replenish the air supply. A 5 minute trip becomes a 30 minute trip.
Of course, they were giving away tires at Sams today and the wait was three hours long. The boys were bored in 15 minutes. I was crazy in 30. But we have a filled tire on the van, no spare (the tires are special order) and I am eating the last of the Christmas and Halloween candy. Good thing I didnt give up drinking for New Years.
aw:
