Why does someone always have to "rain on your parade"??

[C.Ann]

Just had a phone call from my DD's mother-in-law.. She is very annoyed that I "pressured" her son into allowing my DD and granddaughter to go on this trip with me..

Afterall, I should KNOW how her son feels about "flying" and I should have taken that into consideration.. Yes - I know that he is afraid of flying - but DD and my granddaughter are NOT and why should they have to curtail where they go because he can't get a handle on his fears? My granddaughter was afraid to go out on their boat with them for a whole summer, but that didn't stop him from making her go along..

Also - he is supposedly "hurt" because I didn't ask "him" to go along.. Well - first of all, he has no vacation time to use and would NOT take the time off without pay - and remember, he's afraid to fly! Was he going to walk??? Not to mention, he is NOT a Disney fan and made our last trip there rather miserable..

And what about the "money"? Well - what ABOUT the money? I will pay for their air fare, the hotel, the tickets and DD will work overtime for spending money.. Gosh - that means he'll have to pay for them to EAT.. Wouldn't he have to pay for them to eat if they stayed home??

I think she's just jealous - and I gotta say, she is REALLY ticking me off!!!!!!

I was SOOOOOOO happy yesterday - and now she's making me feel like a rat!

 

[winniedapooh]

Nah, don't let her bug you. Some people are just naturally nasty and judgemental. I would be very excited and so would DH if someone had done that for us. Hey, you can be my mom anyday! Some people just don't get it.

 

[Disney Ella]

I don't see why it's any of her business anyway. He's a grown man and what he and his family do is his business. Go, have a great trip and forget about that woman.

 

[Amberle3]

Tell her sorry her son feels this way. This is a special, multi-generational girl's only trip. It's a time for the women of YOUR family to do some bonding together.

And it will give her DS some time to himself!

 

[CEDmom]

Well, first off it's nice to "see" you here. I wish it were for a happier reason though. It truely is amazing how many adults butt into other adults lives. I mean really, if only your DD's MIL just took a step back and saw how rediculous she was acting.

Any issues your DSIL has over this trip should be addressed to his wife or to you directly. This is so childish. Does he know his mommy called you? I'd be mortified if my mom ever did anything like that. You almost have to laugh to people like this because otherwise they will drive you over the edge. Hang in there and have a great trip.

Oh, I forgot to add that you really are such a meanie for giving your DD a trip that will bring her some happiness after all she's been through and to include your DGD in the happiness

 

[Maleficent13]

When I married my ex, we decided to alternate Christmases since our parents live in different states. We went to my parents our first Christmas. Christmas Eve, my mom gets a call from my MIL at 8:30am where my MIL proceeds to pitch a fit because her "baby" isn't spending Christmas at home and it's all my mother's fault because apparently my ex and I were such weak willed individuals that we couldn't make our own decisions about where we wanted to be at Christmas and my mom was the real person running my marriage.

It was amazing. Why can't mothers let their grown children handle their own lives? I don't understand it, never have.

 

[DoeWDW]

Tell her that her "little boy" is now a grown man and should speak up for himself! Sounds like his "mommy" is still a bit too overbearing - let him create his own life the way he wants it!

 

[C.Ann]

He's an "only" child, so I think that has a great deal to do with her interference and over-protectiveness..

She also said that the only reason he said yes was because if he didn't, my DD would have done it anyhow.. That is not true - no way, shape or form - because she would have had to listen to him gripe about it for the next ten years!!

So - let me ask you guys this.. If he was absolutely adamant about them not going, he would have said NO - right?

Should I even bother to talk to him about it - or just leave it the way it is?

 

[binny]

UGH C Ann Im so sorry!!

Dont let her rain on your parade!! You are doing a wonderful thing for your dd and DGD and in the words of Theresa Heinz Kerry Tell her to " Shove it!"






Some people just cannot handle someone else getting the credit for things you know? they cant handle people generous when they obviously arent.

Just MTCW

 

[inaminute]

Some people just aren't happy unless everyone else is miserable. Don't let her get to you.

If she starts again, tell her to butt out. If her son has a problem with you HE should be the one talking to you, not his mother.

 

[SandraM]

What a silly woman! Hope you told her it was time to get a life.
Don't let her get you down, C. Ann. Hope you have a wondeful trip, you certainly deserve it!

 

[Aimeedyan]

I wonder how he would feel about his mommy running in and trying to make things right for him? Bothers me that he even RUNS to his mom about such things... DH and agreed that it's best to leave parents out of most tiff's since they are obviously biased towards their own child and its not as easy for them to forget about things.

What a mess.

First of all, i would NOT worry one bit about what she said, that's all she wants to do is to make YOU feel bad. Don't let her win.

PLUS

I think I would call up your SIL and ask him why he send his mom after you on this, and if he trul yhad a problem with it, why couldn't he just tell YOU and instead let his mom do the talking? More than likely, he didn't expect his mom to interfere, but I think he needs to know that she DID and WILL so he can decide if its worth it each time he runs to her...

Good luck

 

[DVC-Don]

Makes you wonder what else she tries to run at their house.

 

[FroggyinArk]

C Ann you just dont worry about her petty jealousy and you girls go enjoy house o mouse ,,, if he h ad not weanted them to go he would have said something, he sure wouldnth ave offered to help care for your hubby and take care of things at home,,, so carry yourself right back up to cloud #49 and focus on planning the fun stuff

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by C.Ann
He's an "only" child, so I think that has a great deal to do with her interference and over-protectiveness..

She also said that the only reason he said yes was because if he didn't, my DD would have done it anyhow.. That is not true - no way, shape or form - because she would have had to listen to him gripe about it for the next ten years!!

So - let me ask you guys this.. If he was absolutely adamant about them not going, he would have said NO - right?

Should I even bother to talk to him about it - or just leave it the way it is?

DD is an only child and I can't imagine ever doing something like this. I make her fight her own battles now and she's only 4.

This might be a cultural thing though. My SIL who's Mexican used to call my mom all the time when she had issues with my brother. My mom really didn't understand why she was doing this until she found out that in the Mexican culture DILs call their MIL's whenever they're having problems and the MIL is then supposed to talk to her son. My mom kindly put a stop to this.

Anyway, if your SIL didn't want them to go then he should have spoken up. He now has to live with the consequences of his actions or inactions. I can't imagine though how I'd react if my DH forbid DD and me to go on a trip my mom was paying for.

Good luck.

 

[Keli]

C.Ann, No way would I mention this phone call to my SIL. You don't know if your SIL even knew his mom was going to call. It appears that you and your SIL have a good relationship and he's a big boy, if he has a problem or worries about the trip then he is well able to address them with you himself. I would totally ignore his mom's call, not mentioning it to either dd or SIL but I would give SIL lots of opportunites to express his concerns, even initiating a coversation or two to draw him out by discussing the details of the trip with him.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Oh, Carol Ann, don't worry about HER. You need and deserve this vacation. I remember not too long ago you posted about you all being the waltons. Wasn't she going to let you all live together and she was buying the house. Seems like she does a whole lot of talkin. My dh is also any only child and when he, my fil, found out we planned a vacation with my mom (who also happened to chip in and pay for stuff), he would always try to invite himeself along and never pay for anything. I said no way to him to via dh. Look at the bright side, she and her only ds can spend lots of quality time all week together, hmm, she can cook him lots of nice dinners etc, maybe they can go to the movies etc. Just make sure dgd sends them a nice postcard from mickey. Maybe she'll get the hint, that next time if she wants to enjoy her gd there, she could offer to chip in too. Hmm, your ds could drive to virginia with them and take the auto train etc. in the future if he is still afraid to fly. Have fun and don't feel one bit guilty, go toast yourselves with a nice dole whip!! Maybe you can get a nice picture made up of dgd and characters and that could be a christmas present to the in laws etc.

 

[Kallison]

Tell her to kiss your ***.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by luvmarypoppins
I remember not too long ago you posted about you all being the waltons. Wasn't she going to let you all live together and she was buying the house. Seems like she does a whole lot of talkin.

------------------------------------------

Thank goodness she seems to have changed her mind about the house thing - LOL..

I guess I'll just wait it out and see if my SIL says anything to me directly.. I'm sure he didn't go "running" to his Mommy - there is SOOOOOOO much he won't discuss with his parents but will discuss with me instead.. I think it was more a matter of my granddaughter - still bursting with excitement - mentioned the trip to the in-law's and the MIL in turn questioned SIL about it and he mentioned his concerns..

And I'm 100% sure that there's a big heaping of the "green-eyed monster" at work here but you know what? They came along on the last trip - my granddaughter's FIRST trip ever to WDW - so it's not like she's missing out on a "first".. They have loads of discretionary income - let them plan their own trip alone with her!!!!

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by Kallison
Tell her to kiss your ***.

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Oh my! I'm sure you meant "arm" - right?