Where does your child "fit in"???

[BeckyScott]

I am having a big problem, and I hope you all can give suggestions and ideas.

DS7 is HFA (although I'm thinking this is a problem almost every child with a disability encounters). I have tried my best to keep him active in the community, out of the house, doing stuff, learning things, etc etc.

Well of course he has global delays. For quite a while, we got away with putting him in preschool-level activities, or in the preschool-level class at lessons. He was a year or two older, but he still blended in well enough it wasn't a big deal. Socially, he was still more at a preschool level anyway, so it worked for everyone.

So he'll be in 2nd grade next week (how did that happen?) and while he is mainstreamed at school, we still have issues with the extra-cirricular activities. For example: swim lessons. In our town, the Red Cross swim lessons are very popular, and DS enjoys the water. The past 3 years we had him in the preschool class. In that class, the parents also went into the pool, so we were good to go, no problem. Well this summer, he was just too old to be in the preschool class. I don't think the Red Cross would have cared, but I cared. So we moved him up to the beginner class. Now the class was small, only 4 or 5 kids per teacher, so he was supervised well enough. But. He wasn't learning anything, it just wasn't the right place for him.

We also have him in taekwondo. The same thing happened. He was in the preschool class until about a month ago. He finally got to a belt level, and he was at least a head taller than any of the other kids, where the preschool class wasn't appropriate. But. The next class is too much, he doesn't fit in there either. I have been attending class with him, sort of like a para, and it is an exercise in frustration. (I have even more respect for paras than ever, and I always had a lot)

He doesn't "fit in" anywhere. I did know that at some point this was going to happen, but now that it's here, I just don't know how to handle it. We live in a fairly small community that has alot in place for disabled adults, but nothing in place for children- no children's Special Olympics or anything at all like that. There is a support group that just started last spring but they didn't meet over the summer. I had been wading thru on my own pretty well up to this point, keeping him mainstreamed into activities. I don't know if I should keep pushing.

I don't want it to seem like I'm in denial. But I do want him to be out of the house, doing things, and I'm having a harder and harder time with that. The social development is so important. Everyone has been playing nice with me so far, but I wonder if at some point, they're going to stop. Sure, I think the Red Cross would get stuck one way or the other, letting him take lessons, but I don't want to become one of "those parents" either and I can see the beginnings of that. Of the hundreds of kids that went thru the swim lessons this summer, I am almost positive (because I was really really watching) that our son was the only child with a disability there. At taekwondo we are over to the side doing our own little thing, and they've always been really nice about it, but you can just tell that they wonder why I'm even bothering. I just feel like I'm constantly trying to pave the way. And I know that's never going to stop, but some days it's really tiring.

I don't know if I need a big hug, a margarita, or some advice. Any of them would be appreciated.

 

[KirstenB]

Becky our daughter Zoe is only 23 mths old, also HFA. In your post, I feel like I'm looking into the future. My thought would be to break out the activities into 2 (or more) categories.

1. Things he has to learn no matter what (swimming is in this category for me, due to safety issues).

2. Things that help him learn how to be around other kids.

Anything that falls in category 1, I just have to find a way to make it happen. Our 9 yr old has been in swim lessons since she was 3. Since she's a "normal" kid, it's easy. I notice our Y offers private swim lessons, which is what I'm envisioning for Zoe. They're more expensive, but we have a large pond in our backyard, and she HAS to learn to swim.

Things in category 2, I can see us experimenting with lots of different sports/hobbies to find a good fit. If Tae Kwan Do isn't working, try to think of something else. I saw something about a summer camp for kids with ADHD and HFA over in Blackstone, VA. It's a couple of hours away from us, but when Zoe gets bigger that might be an option.

I don't know where you live, but is there an Autism Society near you? Somewhere you could find resources like autism camp? Maybe you could continue mainstreaming, but also consider a special camp, where there would be other kids like him?

I wish you all the best. I wish I were further along the path, so I could give you some "been there done that" experience.

 

[robin09]

First off.. {{{Becky & Kirsten}}}}

DD8 has aspergers and I know she fits in nowhere. I live in a small community too, and just last week she asked me why others find her weird. Nearly broke my heart.

She's been in swim lessons for 6 years now, and can now float on her back, but still cannot swim. They moved her up to level 3 and she was sooo excited she yelled... finally after 3 years in level 2 in can go to level 3.

We have her in girl scouts, and I send her to library club once a week. I try to keep her socially active, but it's difficult as she really is a different type of child. She has a motor mouth, that never shuts, gets to close to people and needs everything to be her way. I finally found a camp that took her, it was for 4 days from 9 - 3. NO other camp would have her, in fact I was told, sorry we don't have the training for her disability. The camp we found was a horse camp. SHe had to watch over "her horse, clean him , feed him and got to ride him. She was thrilled and seems to have an affinity with animals.

We are now looking into seeing if I can get her riding lessons each week (if it will fit in our budget)

She is in a differnt type of class (going into grade 3), same teacher as last year. about 7 kids in her class, 1 teacher one aide. Kids are all in different grade levels, but do work that they are comfortable with, at a speed they can go on. Jenn is about 5th grade level with most subjects if not higher. BUT she cannot write well. Her room has a safe room in it, and is cushioned all all sides that the kids go to if they need to. Many a day, jenn spends the day in there, reading or doing work when she needs the quiet.

I wish I knew how to make her fit in. I haven't found that key yet, my main goal is keeping her happy and secure in herself. She is feeling pain in being "weird", but is usually happy and content. She goes online alot with the new dolls .. webkins .. and creates her own world.

I know this monolog hasn't helped much, I hope it did a little to know you aren't alone.

 

[BeckyScott]

It does make me feel better.

I consider the swim lessons to be mandatory too for safety reasons. But we've "hit the wall" on them, because he won't get his face wet (that's a real big thing with him), and he also won't wear goggles (which I tried to see if that would get him to put his face in the water)... I mean, he could stay in Level One until he's 18 for all I know.

The tkd is the same way. We started with that because I didn't feel that he was getting enough PT, and that seemed a way to get extra PT, along with some social skills, along with learning self-defense which I think is going to be important some day, really a good combination. But yeah, he's hit the wall there too.

It just seems that most things, at some point you get to a difficulty level where it's not just about learning the skill, there is also expected a longer level of concentration, well bottom line he just isn't developmentally a 7-year-old. Not in coordination and not in social skill. Intelligence, we've got that covered quite well, but those things, his kind of intelligence is not helping him out much.

There is nada, zip, around here for special needs kids. Any special needs. I was excited because he is close to Special Olympics age, and I thought *finally, at least he'll fit in there*, but noooo, we'd have to drive for over an hour to get to a kid's program.

There are a few day camps in the summer, and we've attended one, with me playing Para. It wasn't too bad (although tiring for me!) but once again there was a slight "isn't that precious. Why is she even bothering?" attitude going on. It was the other adults, of course, the kids didn't care. By about Thursday I was questioning whether or not it was worth it. Fortunately, that camp is outrageously expensive, so that helped answer the question.

And yes, you know I've comtemplated starting something myself, as you know one is tempted to do as a mom on a mission. I am really resisting because my plate is so full already. It's frustrating because I know those other kids are out there, he went to a SpEd preschool and I saw those other kids, they're here somewhere, but you never see them, I don't know where they went!

 

[robin09]

It took Jenn 3 years of swimming lessons to get her face wet. In fact on the 3rd year, the instructors took bets to see who can get her to get her face wet. I understand totally. It's been only the last 2 years that she will go underwater and she'll be 9 in october.

There is always a wall that she stays at for quite awhile and then there is that wonderful breakthrough... we're waiting for it with her bicycle. She still rides with training wheels, cannot grasp balance without the training wheels. She does have a bike without those wheels, but she cannot do it. It is very frustrating for her, seeing 3 and 4 year olds riding bikes, where she can't.

Jenn also isn't socially at age level, or concentration. The good thing is that she finally wants to play with someone, whereas in the past it didn't matter to her. She would be very happy to stay inside with her computer a ll day, it is me who pushes her out. We have found one other child who also has HFA that we have play dates with. To watch the 2 of them together is very endearing... but at times it's like they are both 2 or 3 years old... they play side by side and not with each other.

Hang in there, it can only get better! Feel free to PM any time

It does make me feel better.

I consider the swim lessons to be mandatory too for safety reasons. But we've "hit the wall" on them, because he won't get his face wet (that's a real big thing with him), and he also won't wear goggles (which I tried to see if that would get him to put his face in the water)... I mean, he could stay in Level One until he's 18 for all I know.

The tkd is the same way. We started with that because I didn't feel that he was getting enough PT, and that seemed a way to get extra PT, along with some social skills, along with learning self-defense which I think is going to be important some day, really a good combination. But yeah, he's hit the wall there too.

It just seems that most things, at some point you get to a difficulty level where it's not just about learning the skill, there is also expected a longer level of concentration, well bottom line he just isn't developmentally a 7-year-old. Not in coordination and not in social skill. Intelligence, we've got that covered quite well, but those things, his kind of intelligence is not helping him out much.

There is nada, zip, around here for special needs kids. Any special needs. I was excited because he is close to Special Olympics age, and I thought *finally, at least he'll fit in there*, but noooo, we'd have to drive for over an hour to get to a kid's program.

There are a few day camps in the summer, and we've attended one, with me playing Para. It wasn't too bad (although tiring for me!) but once again there was a slight "isn't that precious. Why is she even bothering?" attitude going on. It was the other adults, of course, the kids didn't care. By about Thursday I was questioning whether or not it was worth it. Fortunately, that camp is outrageously expensive, so that helped answer the question.

And yes, you know I've comtemplated starting something myself, as you know one is tempted to do as a mom on a mission. I am really resisting because my plate is so full already. It's frustrating because I know those other kids are out there, he went to a SpEd preschool and I saw those other kids, they're here somewhere, but you never see them, I don't know where they went!

 

[XYSRUS]

My 10 yr old boy, one of four, does horseback riding at a therapeutic riding center and gets to go to camp Nuhop in the summer. Both places are the only places I have found where he really fits in and that I am able to let my hair down and not be on edge waiting for a meltdown or getting 'the look'. I've tried baseball, swimming etc and have had disastrous results. He asks me all the time why he doesn't have any friends and truth be told, he has not one person to call a friend. Whenever there's a paper in school that says to write down your friends or who are your friends, he names our 2 cats! That breaks my heart.

 

[BeckyScott]

Justin does like interacting with other people, which I know is a really rare thing. He will approach other kids for interaction. That's a whole different thread/ different problem because of course when he was younger the kids didn't notice, but as he gets older they do. The kids at school know him well enough they're used to him, but he will attempt interaction with just about anyone.

I credit most of that to our older son. Who is ADHD (cause one just wasn't enough!) and one of his biggest issues has always been that he is unable to entertain himself. I remember as a baby, that kid always had to be entertained, he just couldn't occupy himself. So he really forces Justin to interact. Sometimes it is too much and I have to tell him to lay off and let Justin play by himself for a little while. But he is constantly pulling Justin out, making him interact.

That, and alot of early intervention.

But I digress.

We did try horseback at one point, it's been several years ago. He was scared of the horses, I think they were too big. He did like playing with the wood chips. Not good.

Robin, Justin has an oversized tricycle, it's not exactly like the "adult" ones, but it's bigger than the toddler-size. He has trouble with pedaling, so we are nowhere close to a 2-wheel bike either. He hasn't noticed that other kids his age don't have a bike like that, I think because it's really a pretty cool bike, for a tricycle, and he does get comments about it. That's another exercise in futility, because usually about 5 minutes into it his "legs are tired" and we end up pushing him, while he laughs hysterically and steers off the sidewalk.

I know there is a summer camp for special needs about 3 hours from here, that might be the closest one. Can't remember the name off the top of my head, Barnabus?, it's the one that was on Extreme Makeover Home Edition. That one. I think he's still too young to go there right now, but definately something we are interested in for the future. They do siblings too, so hey maybe DH and I could get a break... !

 

[Earstou]

My ds finally learned to swim after I bought him a snorkel mask. He doesn't like water in his eyes or nose. Once he got the mask, he made a huge leap in his skills.
He was also taking private lessons taught by a former teacher of his at her home. He was very comfortable since he already knew her, plus the home environment. But this was a few years ago, and we can't get the snorkel mask off him! He now is at the age (a teen) where it looks funny wearing the mask just to swim, but he refuses to swim if he doesn't have it!
He did track at school last year, and was always woefully behind everyone else.
My ds says he has friends, but no one is calling or inviting him places, or accepting our invites.
But none of this seems to bother my son, so I've decided I need to get over my own embarassment, and let my son do what he enjoys.

 

[tacomaranch]

How do we fit in? We Don't. It is just that easy. However, we live in very small rural town. There is nothing to do anyways and no one to play with. We have a small 43 acre ranch with a creek so we float the creek, brush and ride our horses, have campfires, fish in our pond and just play. We play together as a family and sometimes the little girl comes down. She is 9 and knows DS has autism. She just plays and they have a nice time.

I don't know if we will ever fit in and we don't live near anyone for now. DS is in adaptive ski program in the winter and also snowboards.

We have a swim spa in a room attached to our home and it is big hot tub for us and swimming pool for DS. He has a small battery powered Razor 4 wheeler and loves to ride on the ranch. We don't have paved roads so riding a bike is out.

He is 4 and I think we have a good life. Lonely but good.

 

[WildGrits]

I don't know where in the US the OP lives but look for TOPSoccer in your area. IT's a great introduction to soccer with kids his own size. They have minimal competition and lots of running around. What my daughter liked best of all was getting a uniform.

LEt me give you a few glimpses into his possible future.

My daughter, HFA age 10, just started coming out of her shell over the past two years. She now actively seeks out kids. This is her first summer of day camp and she loves it. Of Course the Wii room is a big seller.

This year she will be starting regular soccer.

She still has a low frustration threshold, and occasionally does some odd body movements, but she is getting there.

Senario Two:

My good friends daughter is 20 with a very slight learning disability. She is graduated and works full time for the state and part time for a local grocery store. Her boyfriend has HFA. He is a bagger at the store. He is very quite, pretty much only talks to her, and makes no noticeable eye contact. He follows her like a puppy, I don't mean that in a bad way more in a loving way. He is totally accepted by my friends family and they expect that he will be around for a long time.



So speaking from thoughts that have run through my own mind. Will she ever hold a meaningful relationship? Will she find good work? From what I can see, she has just as good a chance as any.

I would also recommend getting into Scouts.

 

[zumbergc]

I can only offer info about the swim lessens.
I know several lifeguards, pool managers, etc, who do the private, and multi kid lessons.

Sometimes the kids don't quit fit into the multi-kid environment.
However, the pool lady in charge (30+ years). Is extremely proud of the kids she has worked with in privates lessens, who were able to move to back to the multi-kid lessens. She is so happy when it happens.
So, trying privates if you are able to afford it, may lead you back to group lessens. Some people really do like working w/ autistic kids, I know my friend does.

The only thing she doesn't like, and her other guards don't like, is when they aren't informed. It becomes obvious when the kid tries to drown them (not intentionally, even non-autistic kids do this too), but she mentioned the autistic kids seem to be much stronger.

 

[freckles and boo]

I wonder about my younger daughter's future sometimes, and how she will navigate the world or where she will fit in. Shannon is five and HFA. She is a great little kid who has come a long way, but she still seems to thrive with individual instruction. She takes private swimming lessons at the local high school. We lucked into an instructor who happens to be a college student studying special ed. We LOVE her. I don't know that my daughter is really learning to swim (although she can dog paddle), but it is the cheapest PT out there at $10/half hour. Her instructor is just an awesome young lady and we have even had her babysit for us because she is so good with Shannon.

We are also going to attempt "Baby Ballet" again this fall even though technically she is supposed to be too old. She has washed out the last two years but we are ever-hopeful. I have no idea how it will work out, but she loves watching her older sister dance and she desperately wants to do it, too. We are also going to attempt piano lessons with a teacher who happens to be the parent of an autistic child. I think Shan will do quite well if she can sit through a lesson. Again, I don't know what will happen, but we will keep pursuing the things that she appears to be interested in. (T-Ball, however, was a COMPLETE disaster. )

The friend thing is tougher. We are very fortunate in that there are two other special needs children on our block who are her age and who count her as their friend. One little boy is a year younger and clearly has Aspergers. He follows her around and insists on holding her hand at every opportunity. Two doors down the other way is a little girl her age who attended the same EC program but who will move on to regular kindergarten this fall. I watch Shannon with the other children and while she isn't always playing "with" them, she is happy they are there. She still does her own thing much of the time but she sort of "checks in" with her friends during play. She is starting to role-play with her sister, but much of it is acting out scripts from tv shows - as in "you be Caillou, I'll be Rosie". I have no idea what will happen down the road, but right now all the neighborhood kids just accept her for who she is and all the adults are really great about making sure she is included. I hope they will continue to be patient and kind with her.

 

[mikkiwikki]

I don't know if I need a big hug, a margarita, or some advice. Any of them would be appreciated.

First of all

My son is 7 & on the autism spectrum - very verbal about topics he chooses..and also can't stay on topic with a friend to save his life. He's also a wealth of knowledge about astronomy and space mountain .

I know a lot of families that choose to 'hide away' from society...because its too hard to deal with the ignorance and lack of support generally.

My family decided shortly after the dx that we would continue to live our lives regardless of the label....We promised each other to always be sensitive to all our childrens needs - no matter what those needs may be. This is one of the few reasons you'll find us at Disney every year. My children loved our first trip in 2005. The trips have actually helped my son socially - (topics of convo etc)

But back to your orig question - yes the swimming thing is hard. A few months ago my son was invited to a party - a POOL party...talk about hard...all the other 7 yos were swimming (actually 2 could not but they were social butterflies ). Both me and hubby decided to go swimming with the kids as chaperones & not make a big deal out of it (which was very hard because our son was PETRIFIED his feet were not touching the bottom of the pool and insisted he cling around dad's neck for the first 30 mins)....:0) ...but somehow - he loosened up after that time and was 'swimming' with noodles with the other kids by the end of the party. Had we just said - oh he can't do it...we never would have seen him get out there and swim with his friends..

We also have him in taekwondo. The same thing happened. He was in the preschool class until about a month ago. He finally got to a belt level, and he was at least a head taller than any of the other kids, where the preschool class wasn't appropriate. But. The next class is too much, he doesn't fit in there either. I have been attending class with him, sort of like a para, and it is an exercise in frustration. (I have even more respect for paras than ever, and I always had a lot)

Wow it really sounds like your trying everything! Have you looked into private lessons? Maybe he needs one on one to learn the sport...before getting into the group dynamics....then maybe can move into a class. I have no idea...I know that is what I would need to do with my son. I know its hard. You want him to have the social interaction...but the reality is our kids ARE different! They learn differently and you may need to make some accomodations. I know thats a hard pill to swallow. I would love to get my son into taekwondo...He currently goes to a summer camp and does all the games the other kids do... Will be going to 2nd grade next year as well.

However, that said - a professor at a local college gave a course I took on ASD Communication. She had a quote that I love - and I say it often >>

"Assume Competence" always assume a child can do something until they show other wise.

I feel its my job to constantly help my son find that next step in the developmental ladder - always being sensitive ...but knowing some abilities will change with time, if given the opportunities. The social realm is definitely the hardest ...kids are so mean these days. I'm verry worried about the picking that no doubt will occur. I am intrigued with the 'circle of friend's program...anyone used it?

 

[rwrocksme]

Hi!

I am a 15-year old with a few disabiites (bad spelling is one) and so I know about not fitting in. I can't swim or do any type of sports, which is what most kids do, so I felt a little left out. But then I found a solution--art! Anyone can paint, sing, etc. No one is slow, no one is different--art makes disabilites dissapear.

 

[BeckyScott]

That is so true about art, and I'm happy that you've found your niche. I was a theatre major, and one of the reasons I was drawn to it in high school was because the crowd was much more accepting. I just had trouble fitting in anywhere, I guess if you were stereotyping I would have been considered a "geek". Not the computer variety, but the kind that just never had the right clothes and big ugly glasses. I think once he gets older, into middle school and high school, where there are those other options, lots of different clubs, something like art or computers, he would find friends.

We did do private lessons with the tkd for a little while. When he was younger, first started, he couldn't even go into the regular preschool class. (and obviously, it's much more squirrely and game-oriented) We finally got past that, which was good 'cause it was getting expensive.

I have to tell you all, I did have the wierdest thing happen to me. Since the last time I posted, I "ran away from home" for a couple of hours one day, and stopped by the library. I was looking at the shelf of new aquisitions, and this book popped right out at me. It's called "The Short Bus", by Johnathan Mooney. Of course, seeing the title, I was immediately like 'hmmm, what is this?' The book is about this guy (ADHD) who goes on a cross-country road trip in a converted Short Bus, looking for and talking to people that just don't fit in. The timing on this was just a little too creepy-wierd, if you KWIM. It's a good read. His bottom line, to try to summarize it which is difficult, is that society always has people that don't fit in, and it isn't the person's problem, it's society's. The idea of the Short Bus as a reflection on our society, what it symbolizes. (well, hey, you know, just seeing the title I knew I needed to pull it off the shelf and take a look) Anyway, like we all have time to sit around reading, but if you happen to see it...

 

[mikkiwikki]

The idea of the Short Bus as a reflection on our society, what it symbolizes. (well, hey, you know, just seeing the title I knew I needed to pull it off the shelf and take a look) Anyway, like we all have time to sit around reading, but if you happen to see it...

Sounds like a great read! you should also check out - "Not Even Wrong: Adventures in Autism -by Paul Collins " Its a book written by the perspective of a father who's child is diagnosed at 2. I think it was a really important book for me - to see autism as "different not damaged"

It was very helpful to me personally. Unlike many parents this dad works hard to see historical parallels in other famous people, and sees his sons strengths as well as challenges. A great book.

 

[mdsouth]

Justin does like interacting with other people, which I know is a really rare thing. He will approach other kids for interaction.

We did try horseback at one point, it's been several years ago. He was scared of the horses, I think they were too big. He did like playing with the wood chips. Not good.

I had to smile about the wood chip thing. It sounds sooo familiar!
He is 11 years old and still just walks around the playground, often making paths with his feet in the wood chips or gravel instead of interacting with any of the kids at recess.

My son is fine playing one-on-one with another child, as long as he is comfortable with him or her (after I have worked hard to help establish the connection). He wants the social interaction and really wants to feel accepted by having a friend. He immediately latches on to a new kid (after only a few minutes!) and proceeds to explain, "He's my friend! We are best friends" after just meeting a kid who interacts with him. This often makes the other kid very uncomfortable and so often leads to the child pulling away from my son. It is hearbreaking. I have talked to my son repeatedly about not making such a big deal about it and to just take it slowly, give them room, etc. But he tends to forget this and repeats his behavior in every new situation.

When he was younger (5-8 years old), he had a best friend in our neighborhood. I mean they played together all day everyday! They LOVED playing with each other. AND IT WAS MUTUAL! The other child would seek out my DS to play with extensively! But over the last few years the other child has pulled away from my son. My DS still desparately wants to be friends with the other kid and get together. But the other kid just has lots of other interests and friends that are more socially and physically his peer. It has really hurt my son's feelings. It has also affected his self-image and so we have to work hard to help him feel better. He ends up spending almost all his free time interacting with me, my husband or his little sister who is four. This obviously does not do much to help his social behaviors but I think at least it is better than him being on the computer, reading maps, or drawing roads all day long.

His school does not have Boy Scouts. Several of us parents even tried starting a troop - twice (two different years) with no luck! Since he is not comfortable with physical sports, that is out. He did take golf lessons this summer through the local parks and rec program. He liked it and it is something we plan on pursuing in the future. Golf is nice because it is a sport which is for individuals, so he does not have to try to react to something that someone else does. That is why most other sports is so difficult (tennis, baseball, basketball, even soccer) you have to react to something someone else does.

We tried swim lessons on several times and even swimming with just us, but he is extremely uncomfortable in the water -- very similiar to what the rest of you are used to too. Once, he was invited to a birthday swim party for one of the only friends he has a school. He went, I did too, and he spent the entire time standing on the side of the pool. He wouldn't even dangle his feet in AT ALL!!!:

So, I guess I am just offering a hug to the everyone without giving any advice.

Take Care Everyone!

 

[alizesmom]

to all of you. Where will my son fit in? Nowhere. "Luckily" he will never know that. I think you may have it worse than we do. Karen

 

[BeckyScott]

mdsouth, you know what I've noticed, is that the little girls flock to Justin. I met another mom who said the same thing about her son. I think when little girls are kg-1st-2nd grade, in that range, they have a pretty strong maternal instinct going. Just my guess since I've only got boys, but I've been a little girl. A very long time ago.

Anyway, the little girls are usually all over him, wanting to help.... and he is a smart little boy, he's quite happy to let them. He's like a little chick magnet. Giggling and batting his eyelashes.

I noticed when I "para"ed him at the one day camp, that he had a little collection of groupie girls there who were always trying to chat me up and hanging out with us. You know, I noticed with that group though, it was all the little girls who didn't quite "fit in" either, even at that young age, I could look at them and see... one who was a little spazzy, one was overweight, one talked constantly... I think it's instinct maybe?, they knew we were okay to hang with. And when I go to his classroom, there's usually one or two little girls that are trying to help him. He calls them his girlfriends. All of 'em.

I don't know at what point that wears off, since I don't think it will still be happening in junior high, if you KWIM.

 

[Slakk]

My town actually had a soccer class for children with disabilities and it helped my ADHD son tremendously. Because of his issues he could not do sports at 3-4 so most sports are out. Well fast forward to a 9 yr old with no sports skills and lo and behold I find this class.

The best part was a high school boy did one on one with DS and WOW. He was the star of the class (most of the kids had significant disabilities) but he actually became quite good. The main coach had a summer league and he went to the weeklong clinic and now will probably be a bottom rung player on a team (which to us is like winning the Olympics)

What we also did is have him try a ton of sports and so far swimming and golf are his strong points. He also rides horses (which is great for all kids) and may do soccer if he has time. We do not try the other team sports but the town does a basketball in the fall that we may try.

The thing is we really waited until HE was ready not when the other kids were doing it. For us it was 9 and now he is having fun and I see a tremendous change in him.

It all works out...in fact this week he decided to ride the bus (we always drove) and do his homework without my help...now I am the one with the issues...LOL