When you talk to your children about "strangers"....

[RitaZ.]

I was talking to my neighbor about this and she said that when her kids were younger, she spoke to them in a way to really frighten them. Btw, I'm not questioning her method.

We don't want our kids to grow up being fearful, but we don't want them to be uninformed. It's a fine line.... We have the "stranger talk" frequently, but my question is... Should we try to frighten them?

Do you try to frighten your children when you talk about this subject or do you choose your words carefully as not to frighten them?

 

[wvjules]

Honestly, I think frightening them a bit is more effective than just the talk. I dont go overboard with fear, but she has heard news stories of Samantha Runion and knows how she was abducted. Whatever it takes to make your kid more aware of strangers...there's really no right or wrong, but I prefer some fear.

Did you watch Primetime last night?

 

[browneyes]

I try not to frighten them, and I tell them to come to me if they have a question about anything we've talked about. BUT! You should also have the talk about non-strangers at the same time. More people are hurt or killed by people they know than by strangers.

 

[caitycaity]

"Should we try to frighten them? "

no.

 

[RitaZ.]

Jules~ No, I didn't watch it last night.

I'm surprised so few have replied. Since there are so many parents on the DIS, I thought I would get more input.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I never try to scare my son, because I don't want him to fear the world.

We don't, however, hide the world from him. He knows that there are bad people who do bad things. That's enough.

 

[Judy from Boise]

I would never use fear as a tactic. What I try to do is empower my DD with first the thought that she has the right to protest and fight try to hurt them and make a scene , abandon her belongings to flee etc.
Then we do a lot of mental rehersal of how she would kick butt and not fall for the typical ruses used.

 

[tkd lisa]

This was a very difficult topic for us. My DD (now 10) had absolutely NO fear of strangers! She loved everyone! We always did the talk about it, but never tried to scare her. About the time she was 4, we got the Berenstein Bears book about Strangers, and they also had a video that we watched together.

Basically, we just kept repeating the same message. It's fine to say Hi and smile. It's not okay to touch, hug, etc. It's never okay to go with someone. The worst fear was the animal ploy, because she ABSOLUTELY loves animals. The Halloween that she was four, she immediately went into someone's house chasing their cat! Needless to say, we went immediately home for the big lecture! Trick or Treating was on hold for about 1/2 hour while we explained why we NEVER go in anyone's house! That was what led to the book and video, so that we got someone else saying it besides us.

It probably took until about 5 or 6 for her to realize on her own when she was too friendly.

 

[wvjules]

I don't think "fear" is the right word for what I wanted to say. But nothing else really fits. I don't sugar coat it, but I also don't scare the living daylights out of her about it either.
I don't say if you go to so and so's car they're gonna kill you, but she does know that bad things can/do happen to children.

 

[Goofyta]

I think they have to understand that if a stranger takes them they might not ever see mommy & daddy again and that there is the possibility that the stranger could hurt them. I don't want my kids to be petrified of strangers, but I do want them to be aware.