When you don't give Christmas gifts

[JanetRose]

My husband and I only give Christmas gifts to our grandchildren.

We just started this last year.

What is a good thing to say to people who give us a gift?

Besides Thank you, of course!

 

[ronandannette]

Why do you need to say anything else at all?

 

[DL1WDW2]

It’s not easy to “ let others know “ you prefer not exchanging gifts .

 

[moniqueand2]

Thank you for the....
We look forward to getting together with you in the New Year.
Best,
......

 

[HopperFan]

My husband and I only give Christmas gifts to our grandchildren.

We just started this last year.

What is a good thing to say to people who give us a gift?

Besides Thank you, of course!

Did you used to give these people gifts?

If so could you not in advance let them know that you all are cutting back this year on material things and are only giving gifts to the children to see their joy. Maybe suggest they not get you anything but would love to plan an evening to enjoy their company.

If you are getting gifts from people you haven't before there would be no expectation on their part that you were giving to them.

I would just be open up front to avoid awkward. Like I had a cousin who never sent xmas cards but was sure to let everyone know that in lieu of that she made a donation to a children's charity for amount it would cost her to send them. I still sent one each year and never expected one back.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

I don’t think you need to say anything else other than Thank You.

 

[anniemae]

Nothing other than "thank you." You are not obligated to give someone a gift just because they give you one. It will be up to them if they continue to give you a gift or not.

 

[disneychrista]

If there are people you normally exchange gifts with that you will no longer do so, I would let them know that you have made the decision to not exchange gifts this year. This could prevent any awkward moments. And make sure they hear you, understand you and that yes you are being serious.

The first year we didn't exchange gifts, I told my mom at Thanksgiving that we didn't want to exchange gifts. Well apparently she either didn't hear me or didn't understand or believe me. She still gave us the usually cash "gift." The next day she messaged me accusing me of being greedy because I didn't bring gifts.

Fast forward to the following year, she came up with the idea to NOT exchange gift.

 

[disykat]

Yep. It took several years for my family to get that not exchanging gifts meant no gifts, but after lots of hard feelings on the part of one sister it finally took. None of the rest of us cared. Basically it took until my kids (the only kids in the family) grew up for her to give up.

I don't do well with crazy loops like "I hate all the shopping, I don't know what to buy, I hate how materialistic everyone is, I hate spending money, I hate having too much stuff and want to simplify," etc etc and then, if I dare to suggest the obvious solution, the "How dare you suggest we stop exchanging gifts!"

 

[mousefan73]

IMO I find it rude if in the past one consistently exchanged gifts and cold turkey stopped without notice.


If a precedent has been set communication is needed for change.

 

[DisneyHardin]

OP - I think we need a little more info on who you used to give gifts to, but are no longer planning to buy for this year. If it is someone like a neighbor, I would say just saying "thank you" and not having giving them a gift would get the point across without any hard feelings. If its your children, then I would tell them that you are only doing gifts for the grandkids this year. I know if my Mom only showed up with gifts for the grandkids after always doing a full gift exchange with everyone, it would be awkward and I would wonder what was going on.

 

[loves to dive]

It will take a few years. Hubby and I stopped exchanging gifts with each other a long time ago but still did it with family. The problem was we almost always had to give the gifts family gave us to charity because it was either something we didn't need or wouldn't use. About 7 years ago we told family we were only giving gifts to my son and didn't want to receive any gifts, if they felt they needed to get us something just make a donation to charity. It took a few years for his parents to get the idea, they still insisted on giving him $100 in cash, he would give them a few hundred in cash and it was just silly. Now there is no problem. I got my son, his SO and their baby gifts this year and a few shirts hubby needed just so he would have something under the tree. When I was ordering from Harry and David's for a joint gift to son and his SO, I mentioned I was too cheap but really liked the fruit of the month so hubby ordered that for me.

If someone gives you one, just say thank you and move on.

 

[NAB]

My mom used to buy for all us siblings and spouses. Than of course than grandchildren. We as kids got together and told her not to buy for us. If she would have done this on her own we would have understood .

We always got her a gift no matter what, she was our mom.

I would just say thank you, but probably give a heads up to anyone anyone that usually exchange with , maybe they will be relieved not to have to buy you something either just don’t know how to stop.

 

[Praying Colonel]

I'm like Sheldon Cooper--if I anticipate receiving a gift, I have an obligation--I mean, similar gift--ready.

 

[leebee]

We don't exchange gifts with too many people in the first place, so this isn't really a problem, but I try to have "just in case" gifts, wrapped and ready, just in case someone unexpectedly gives us/me something. This year I bought cinnamon gift boxes from Penzeys Spices. I think they have one "large" bottle of cinnamon sugar and two smaller bottles of different cinnamons ("regular" and Vietnamese, maybe?) in them. Penzeys makes quality spices, we'll use these if we don't give them, and at $5 a box, it seemed like a good deal. One year I bought the "salt&pepper" box, same deal, $5 for a "big" bottle of seasoned salt and ground black pepper. We didn't need them as gifts, which was nice; I learned that there really IS a difference between "spice-shop" pepper and the stuff at the grocery store (and now I'm hooked, which is probably the intent behind the low-price gifts anyhow)!

 

[LuvOrlando]

Hmmm, if I wanted to disconnect from gift giving I would have baked goods at the ready for reciprocation. If it is really just the thought that counts then things will be unchanged next year, if it is a grab they won't repeat next year. Lots of people understand things get tight and this would be a subtle way of saying it but not saying it, if you are lucky you might just get a cookie swap next year.

 

[karen4546]

We don't exchange gifts with too many people in the first place, so this isn't really a problem, but I try to have "just in case" gifts, wrapped and ready, just in case someone unexpectedly gives us/me something. This year I bought cinnamon gift boxes from Penzeys Spices. I think they have one "large" bottle of cinnamon sugar and two smaller bottles of different cinnamons ("regular" and Vietnamese, maybe?) in them. Penzeys makes quality spices, we'll use these if we don't give them, and at $5 a box, it seemed like a good deal. One year I bought the "salt&pepper" box, same deal, $5 for a "big" bottle of seasoned salt and ground black pepper. We didn't need them as gifts, which was nice; I learned that there really IS a difference between "spice-shop" pepper and the stuff at the grocery store (and now I'm hooked, which is probably the intent behind the low-price gifts anyhow)!

So how many people have now went to Penney’s to buy spices…..I know I just did. Seriously, you probably could have gotten points for a referral link. Thanks !

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

So how many people have now went to Penney’s to buy spices…..I know I just did. Seriously, you probably could have gotten points for a referral link. Thanks !

sign up for the email and watch for sales. A couple times a year, they have gift cards $50 for $35. I like to stock up (if there isn't a limit, which there is on occasion) and use them as needed throughout the year.

 

[HopperFan]

So how many people have now went to Penney’s to buy spices…..I know I just did. Seriously, you probably could have gotten points for a referral link. Thanks !

Me


What a unique and useful gift to give. That is the kind of stuff I don't treat myself to but would love to get. AND I see they have a store not too far from me. Wheels are turning. Thank you @leebee !

During COVID shutdown one of our things was cooking and we tried lots of new veggies (I had them delivered weekly) and new spices and new recipes. Really did enjoy cooking for first time in awhile. Spices can really make a difference.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Crazy! There’s one right near where I work too. I’ve never heard of Penzeys until today.