Dear Parents,
It has come to our attention that some of your children are using the playground to...............PLAY! You can certainly understand why we need to stop this behavior immediately. Next thing you know, they are going to use the library for reading, the classroom for learning and the lunch room for eating! We need to stop the madness now. Please inform your children that they need to grow up. After all, they are in kindergarten now! There was a time and place for fun and games and that time has passed. Let them go home, watch TV, play video games and eat. We have to keep up our reputation of "typical Americans" and your children are in jeopardy of ruining our image.
Sincerely,
Helicopter Academy