What's wrong with people?

[momtotwo]

So my daughter waited four years for her high school boyfriend to come out of the service. She couldn't do enough for that guy--packages upon packages of baked goods, books, gifts while he way away. When he was in NC, she went there whenever she could go down. He's been out of the service and home now for six weeks and decided she's too clingy and broke up with her over the phone, even though they live 10 miles apart. She's so down, and I'm so angry...

 

[handinpocket]

He wasn't the one. Best she find this out NOW and not when they were married with children, consider it a blessing.

 

[Holly]

I'm sorry for your daughter


It's hard to watch our kids hurting

 

[sunnyday123]

He's a user, and a loser. Tell her she'll find someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

Also, I bet he looks stupid in his military haircut.

 

[Cinderella94]

What a jerk!

 

[gate_pourri]

Ugh. What a jerk,,,, Hugs to your daughter.

 

[momtotreasure]

I'm sorry for your daughter. It's really a rotten thing to do - shows what little character he truly had.

It is a very hard lesson, and although it's good she learned now, it's still so painful to go through. My heart goes out to you and her.

Someone will be very lucky to find her. I wish her luck.

 

[MEMORIES-4-7]

.

 

[klacey1]

Sadly on our first trip to disney, our backpack was accidently left in a bathroom stall for 10 minutes. When my husband went back , the backpack was there but our video camera was missing from it. The saddest part for me was that the disc inside of it was of us surprising our kids that we were going to disney and their reaction to arriving there. We never even got to watch it once. Decided not to let it ruin our trip though, and everything else went wonderfully.

????

Sorry, OP. to your daughter. She'll find someone who treats her better!

 

[AKL_Megs]

He may not be a jerk, don't be so quick to judge.

They change when they come back...

It may not be right, but when they come back, the world is a new place, and everything is different. The normal becomes uncomfortable. It is a major adjustment.

I have a cousin who came back totally different, broke up with his girlfriend.

I had a co-worker who was engaged, planning a wedding, and buying a house with her soldier who was in Afghanistan. He was the PERFECT guy. She would get fresh flowers, candy, etc., delivered to work almost weekly from him. When he came back, he was different and he needed space. He pushed her away, and she tried to cling until she finally let loose.

I have a friend of a friend who married a soldier, had a baby with him, moved to Kansas with him and started a new life. He came back from Iraq and couldn't do it anymore. They are now seperated.

My mom's fiance (before my dad) came back from Vietnam TOTALLY different. They broke up almost immediately.

I'm not saying it's right, but they change.

Don't pass judgement until you have walked in their shoes.

... Still, so sorry your DD is hurting. We ALL know that feeling.

 

[padams]

The right guy is out there for her, and this one wasn't the one.

 

[OceanAnnie]

OP, I'm sorry for the pain your DD is feeling. Her ex BF could have handled it better, that's for sure.

He may not be a jerk, don't be so quick to judge.

They change when they come back...

It may not be right, but when they come back, the world is a new place, and everything is different. The normal becomes uncomfortable. It is a major adjustment.

I have a cousin who came back totally different, broke up with his girlfriend.

I had a co-worker who was engaged, planning a wedding, and buying a house with her soldier who was in Afghanistan. He was the PERFECT guy. She would get fresh flowers, candy, etc., delivered to work almost weekly from him. When he came back, he was different and he needed space. He pushed her away, and she tried to cling until she finally let loose.

I have a friend of a friend who married a soldier, had a baby with him, moved to Kansas with him and started a new life. He came back from Iraq and couldn't do it anymore. They are now seperated.

My mom's fiance (before my dad) came back from Vietnam TOTALLY different. They broke up almost immediately.

I'm not saying it's right, but they change.

Don't pass judgement until you have walked in their shoes.

... Still, so sorry your DD is hurting. We ALL know that feeling.

There is a lot of truth in the above post.

 

[minkydog]

It *was* a cowardly way to break up with her, but I wouldn't say he was a user or a loser. It sounds like they were both fairly young. I doubt that he is the same person that he was 4 years ago. Military service changes a man(or a woman.) And there's something about a guy in uniform that could make any woman just about swoon. I think your daughter's story is a cautionary tale for all young women and young men who want to conduct a long distance romance. Not that it can't be done, but it is very difficult and it's easy for them to grow apart. Fact is, they both had a life apart from each other.Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder and sometimes it deep sixs the relationship. I sympathize with your DD--I know she is terribly hurt. But she'll eventually move past this and will find the man who will love, honor, and cherish her forever.

 

[bballmom56]

AKL Megs is right. We have a friend who got engaged to a very nice young man before he went into the service. He was involved in a lot of action in Afghanistan and other areas over there. She did the visiting thing every time he was back in the US in North or South Carolina. When he got out, he was a changed person. He experienced an awful lot of things that many of us do not. He broke off the engagement and they went their separate ways. We have heard many similar stories since.

 

[*JoGo*]

I'm very sorry for your daughter, she did everything she could to make the 4 years better for him....

but i have to agree w/ AKL Megs.
My brother went through some terrible things. He's changed. He's not a worse person, he's just DIFFERENT.

Also, your daughter's ex has spent the last 4 yrs being told what to do and when to do it. He's had no choices or decisions. He's also used to being on his own - not having someone else rely on him emotionally.

Give him some time, let him settle in to his new life.
He might not be The One, or maybe a year or so down the line he will be. No one knows.

Again, I'm sorry your daughter is hurting.

 

[mikehn]

We all change, military or not, and even more so when we're young. Both sides will eventually find happiness, promise

 

[declansdad]

He's a user, and a loser. Tell her she'll find someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

Also, I bet he looks stupid in his military haircut.

Totally unfair and uncalled for. You're hearing one side of the story that is about two people who dated in high school.

 

[Sparx]

He may not be a jerk, don't be so quick to judge.

They change when they come back...

It may not be right, but when they come back, the world is a new place, and everything is different. The normal becomes uncomfortable. It is a major adjustment.

I have a cousin who came back totally different, broke up with his girlfriend.

I had a co-worker who was engaged, planning a wedding, and buying a house with her soldier who was in Afghanistan. He was the PERFECT guy. She would get fresh flowers, candy, etc., delivered to work almost weekly from him. When he came back, he was different and he needed space. He pushed her away, and she tried to cling until she finally let loose.

I have a friend of a friend who married a soldier, had a baby with him, moved to Kansas with him and started a new life. He came back from Iraq and couldn't do it anymore. They are now seperated.

My mom's fiance (before my dad) came back from Vietnam TOTALLY different. They broke up almost immediately.

I'm not saying it's right, but they change.

Don't pass judgement until you have walked in their shoes.

... Still, so sorry your DD is hurting. We ALL know that feeling.

Its REALLY jerky to break up with a long term relationship over a phonecall when you are ten miles apart. I don't care what the mitigating circumstances or how much he "changed." He's a jerk for the way he handled the break up, plain and simple. Its immature and pathetic.

 

[luvmy3]

Its REALLY jerky to break up with a long term relationship over a phonecall when you are ten miles apart. I don't care what the mitigating circumstances or how much he "changed." He's a jerk for the way he handled the break up, plain and simple. Its immature and pathetic.

Sorry your dd is hurting OP

 

[Magic Mom]

I agree with Megs. You can't expect him to stay with someone that isn't right for him. It was lucky for her that he realized it now and didn't string her along.

As far as how he did it....that was cowardly and awful. If she wasn't the person he wanted to be with then fine, but at least be a man about it and give her the respect she deserves when he ended it.