What would you do if your teen daughter became pregnant???

[Sylvester McBean]

man, this thread has opened up a floodgate of memories from 20 years ago. I've still never told my parents about those incidents, it'd probably kill them.

 

[Freyja]

'nuff said!


Oh! By the way, it's Cat's 2rd BD tomorrow!!!

Kirk, she´s adorable! Congrats on her second birthday. Time goes so fast! She is so lucky to have you as her grandpa. I wish more people would do what you have done.

 

[poohandwendy]

Kirk, she is beautiful.

Wannabee, that is rough. I can't imagine finding out like that. Good to hear that she is in school, is she planning to continue her education?

 

[chobie]

I want to add that I think this topic is very interesting. I know alot of parents would like to think it would never happen to their child but in all reality it could. I hope that alot of people can take this thread and talk to their children about it.

You're right. All I want is for my DD to not be afraid to talk to me about anything.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

This thread got me to thinking about this so much that I couldn't even enjoy shopping at the mall as much as I should! So, I call a family meeting - DH, the boys, my niece and nephew, my neighbor's daughter (drug addict/alcoholic - the mom, not the girl), and me.

I tell them about this thread, which gets their eyes rolling to begin with, and I talk to the kids about how DH and I feel, what I think, the story of my high-school friend who had a baby at 16, etc.

I finish up with, "So, basically, I want you to know that - you know I've always said all I want is for you to be healthy and happy - and I'd sure rather hear that there will be a new baby around than that one of you gets sick. And if you or a friend suddenly finds they are about to become a parent, or God forbid, have an abortion, I want you to come and talk to me. I will not freak out. OK?"

And my one son says, "Can we go now?" (not the response I'd expected)

I say, "Yes, if you want to. Doesn't anyone have anything to say?"

And DH says, "Can we go now?"

Arrrgh! I did the right thing, right?

 

[poohandwendy]

Yes, you absolutely did IMO. And keep doing it. It's not one talk or a few, it is an open door policy of frank discussion, at any time, that creates an atmosphere where kids feel they can come to you when they really, really need to. IMHO.

Way to go mom!

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Thank you so much.

I'm generally one of those parents who does not talk to kids about the Big, Important Stuff. I prefer to think that - even though one boy dated a girl I know was a giant slutbag - they are not even having s-e-x. I just bury my head in the sand, "La-la-la-la, I can't hear about it." But they might not be! I didn't! I might be in denial, but it is a nice place.

I'm not doing this again. I hope they'll come to one of us if they need to.

Honestly, though, if they were going to abort, I don't REALLY want to know. I just said that. The idea it would break my heart. I just want them to tell me about abortion choices so that I can talk them out of it and into giving me the baby. I'm a big, fat liar.

 

[beckmrk04]

Thank you so much.

I'm generally one of those parents who does not talk to kids about the Big, Important Stuff. I prefer to think that - even though one boy dated a girl I know was a giant slutbag - they are not even having s-e-x. I just bury my head in the sand, "La-la-la-la, I can't hear about it." But they might not be! I didn't! I might be in denial, but it is a nice place.

I'm not doing this again. I hope they'll come to one of us if they need to.

Honestly, though, if they were going to abort, I don't REALLY want to know. I just said that. The idea it would break my heart. I just want them to tell me about abortion choices so that I can talk them out of it and into giving me the baby. I'm a big, fat liar.

I'm sorry- I don't know if you meant this as funny or not, but it made me giggle- the part about you being a big fat liar, anyway...

I think it's great that you at least made sure that the lines of communication were open!

My mom and I had a very tempestuous relationship, but sex was always something I could talk to her about, and honestly, that was a comfort, even when it was awkward!

(P.S.- I got the book! )

 

[MouseWorshipin]

(P.S.- I got the book! )

OMG!!!! Isn't it cute?! I'm so happy for you I can't wipe the smile off my face!!!!!!

 

[beckmrk04]

OMG!!!! Isn't it cute?! I'm so happy for you I can't wipe the smile off my face!!!!!!

I love love love it!!!

It will be our babies first book- no we're not pregnant- but plan on trying VERY soon (after DIsney!!).. I AM TOO excited! (I also bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"- dh thinks I overplan... )

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I love love love it!!!

It will be our babies first book- no we're not pregnant- but plan on trying VERY soon (after DIsney!!).. I AM TOO excited! (I also bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"- dh thinks I overplan... )

I'm excited for you! Babies are so much joy!

Have you thought about trying at Disney? Then you could have a "little souvenir" like in the commercial.

 

[beckmrk04]

I'm excited for you! Babies are so much joy!

Have you thought about trying at Disney? Then you could have a "little souvenir" like in the commercial.

Yeah- but dh and I are taking our 3 and 5 year old nieces, so no alone time this Disney trip!! It'll have to wait until after. Plus, we're getting back on the 24th, and my birthday is May 28th, so we'll start trying around my b-day!!

And I don't want to try before, just in case I should end up with a nasty case of morning sickness. NOT how I want to spend my disney trip!

 

[Sylvester McBean]

Yeah- but dh and I are taking our 3 and 5 year old nieces, so no alone time this Disney trip!! It'll have to wait until after. Plus, we're getting back on the 24th, and my birthday is May 28th, so we'll start trying around my b-day!!

you two need to take a trip to the bathroom together and talk this out. now on May 28th I know what beck's plans are.

 

[pfishgirl]

Well I WAS a pregnant Teen... Got pregnant at 16..

My parents were mad, called me every name in the book, TWICE and then my mom said she was sending me to "discuss" my options at the DR. Well, it turned out to be an abortion clinic.. Let's just say "Dad" and I ran out of the room as fast as possible that day..

I moved out about a week later and in with "Dad" in our own apartment.. so eventually my parents woke up and saw that unless they changed their ways, they were never going to even meet their Grandchild..

His family were 100% supportive, made sure I got to the DRs for normal check ups and even helped paint the nursery and suggest some names..

My parents were upset that I wasn't getting married first But, I stood my ground, why do I want to get married if I need your permission to do it before I'm 18..

Then when my son was born, my parents surprised me, My dad at the time was a cross country truck driver, well, he flew home from California and arrived at the hospital 5 minutes before my son was born.. My mom received a phone call from my BF's mom and was waiting in the hospital waiting room the whole time.. I was VERY surprised, especially, since they didn't even want me to have the baby in the first place..

That day things changed completely... My parents took a ton of pictures are were all braggy about their Grandson.. So as the days past we settled our differences..

OK so FAST Forward... My son will now be 16 in May.. He has a girlfriend who will be 16 in a week.. am I scared?? Not at all !!! My son and I have an awesome, honest relationship.. He talks to me and I answer him Honestly.. I never sugar coat anything.. I trust him to make the Best decisions he sees fit.. He tells me all the time.. He doesn't want children until after he is out of college and has a decent enough job to support a family..

So if an accident does happen and he does get his gf pregnant you bet I'll will be 100% supportive and help as much as I can.. I won't force marraige but if they decide that is what they want then fine by me too.. Would I be disappointed.. sure.. But, I'd never treat him like my parents did, especially when I know, he'll need me the most...

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Yeah- but dh and I are taking our 3 and 5 year old nieces, so no alone time this Disney trip!! It'll have to wait until after.

Just wait until you have kids. Kids are worse than parents - you can't tell them you are sleeping at a friend's house! And you can't say, "Well, I think I'm ready to go live without you! Bye!"

 

[MouseWorshipin]

you two need to take a trip to the bathroom together and talk this out. now on May 28th I know what beck's plans are.

Becky, DH, a bathroom, and a little Air Supply!

 

[poohandwendy]

Not sure what I just walked into...but somehow, I feel the need to back away slowly...LOL

 

[Sylvester McBean]

and a little Air Supply!

you're showing your age, MW.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I turned 36 a couple weeks ago. I was 10 in 1980 and 20 in 1990. A total child of the 80's, and glad of it. I liked Air Supply, and on occasion, still do. I also am waiting for Big Hair to make a comeback.

...Becky loves Air Supply . She can't get enough, really. She just doesn't know if she likes Air Supply or Toby Keith more.

 

[Sylvester McBean]

I turned 36 a couple weeks ago. I was 10 in 1980 and 20 in 1990. A total child of the 80's, and glad of it. I liked Air Supply, and on occasion, still do. I also am waiting for Big Hair to make a comeback.

...Becky loves Air Supply . She can't get enough, really. She just doesn't know if she likes Air Supply or Toby Keith more.

holy crap, we're the same age. that really scares the hell out of me.