What was the teacher thinking??

[Magpie]

My daughter is in grade 8 and today they had a substitute teacher for English class.

Now, my daughter admits she wasn't paying attention, so she doesn't know how the word "heroic" came up. But she tuned in long enough to hear the teacher explain to the class that she thought "heroic was a selfless act." And then the teacher brought up - as an example of heroism! - "a woman staying in an abusive relationship for the sake of the children."

Both my husband and my best friend think I should write a letter to the principal, but I'm inclined to let it go. Opinions?

 

[Took]

Oh dear....

 

[aprilgail2]

I would just tell my daughter my thoughts on the issue and let it go.

 

[Magic Mom]

I would just tell my daughter my thoughts on the issue and let it go.

^ This

 

[MM27]

my daughter is in grade 8 and today they had a substitute teacher for english class.

Now, my daughter admits she wasn't paying attention, so she doesn't know how the word "heroic" came up. But she tuned in long enough to hear the teacher explain to the class that she thought "heroic was a selfless act." and then the teacher brought up - as an example of heroism! - "a woman staying in an abusive relationship for the sake of the children."

both my husband and my best friend think i should write a letter to the principal, but i'm inclined to let it go. Opinions?

why???

 

[java]

If you daughter admits she wasn't listening maybe you are getting only a part of the discussion- I would let it go.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I would definitely discuss it with my daughter, explaining that the statement is incorrect. I might discuss it with the teacher, but in a very non-confrontational way, and leave it at that.

At this point, the school year is just about over. I assume your child won't have this teacher again. Just another reason to let it go.

I learned early on (I have 3 kids, youngest a Jr in HS) that if I made a big deal about everything that bugged me in schools, I'd be complaining too much. Not to say that there is a lot to complain about...it's just that a parent can reach the limit very quickly in the eyes of teachers/principals (it's easy to quickly make a name for yourself). Not only that, but there's probably a lot going on and being said that you're NOT hearing about. So you might as well focus on the teachable moments with your children, and giving them a solid basis for life out in the real world.

JMHO

 

[clh2]

Both my husband and my best friend think I should write a letter to the principal, but I'm inclined to let it go. Opinions?

Sorry - if your DH thinks a letter should be written to the principal...he should be doing it.

However, since your DD wasn't paying attention - my guess is she may have taken something out of context. Or - maybe the example presented had more to do with the sub's own personal life, or from her personal acquaintences. (Apologies if I spelled that wrong...it looks bad...)

It is, most likely the end of the year...as another poster mentioned - explain your thoughts on this and move on!

 

[tw1nsmom]

Our district is fond of hiring on the retired teachers as subs. Some are great and some should have stayed retired. Just this year we've had a substitute teacher shove three children, another tell a group of students in a lower level 4th grade math class that they better listen since they aren't in there because they're smart, and today a sub told a boy with special needs (in front of the class) that the other children wouldn't be teasing him if he was listening and acting the way he should. All this was confirmed through multiple sources.

I'm so ready for the school to be over.

BTW, I only called the principal when my DD was one of the children the teacher shoved.

 

[disneyjunkie]

My daughter is in grade 8 and today they had a substitute teacher for English class.

Now, my daughter admits she wasn't paying attention, so she doesn't know how the word "heroic" came up. But she tuned in long enough to hear the teacher explain to the class that she thought "heroic was a selfless act." And then the teacher brought up - as an example of heroism! - "a woman staying in an abusive relationship for the sake of the children."

Both my husband and my best friend think I should write a letter to the principal, but I'm inclined to let it go. Opinions?

The teacher is an idiot.

Speak to your daughter.

Leave the principal out of it.

 

[daisyduck123]

I would just tell my daughter my thoughts on the issue and let it go.

What she said..

 

[JessicaR]

If you daughter admits she wasn't listening maybe you are getting only a part of the discussion- I would let it go.

This was my first thought too. Maybe she didnt get it straight.

 

[a1tinkfans]

If you daughter admits she wasn't listening maybe you are getting only a part of the discussion- I would let it go.

I would also talk to your daughter about what Heroism actually is!

 

[DeluxePrincess]

Since your daughter really wasn't paying attention, I probably wouldn't even think those were the teacher's EXACT words in context. No letter to the principal necessary. Even if those were her exact words, it is the teacher's opinion. She wasn't encouraging young girls to stay in abusive relationships.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Both my husband and my best friend think I should write a letter to the principal, but I'm inclined to let it go. Opinions?

Really? They think YOU should write a letter?

It that because you were complaining and they said that so you would be quiet?It sounds like it could be a "brush off" comment from the peanut gallery.

Go with your inclination!

 

[Magpie]

Really? They think YOU should write a letter?

It that because you were complaining and they said that so you would be quiet?It sounds like it could be a "brush off" comment from the peanut gallery.

Go with your inclination!

No, I wasn't complaining. My daughter related the story to all of us this evening over dinner.

My daughter is generally very accurate, and went on to describe the rest of the class, from the point she stopped reading her book and started paying attention. There were a handful of protests from the students about defining heroism in this way, and then a student suggested that terrorists could be heroes, so the class got into a lively debate on that topic instead.

My daughter told us that she spoke up in class and told the teacher that sometimes the heroic thing to do isn't the right thing to do. I told my daughter that she was completely missing the point - staying in an abusive relationship isn't heroic, it's just dumb. And it's bad for the kids, too.

My best friend was very offended by the teacher's statement and my husband was on her side. They think this teacher needs to know how wrong she was. But my husband hardly ever writes any letters - he just rewrites mine. And I didn't really think it was that big a deal, in the grand scheme of things. I mean, there's battles I'll fight - but I'm not sure this is one of them.

So I said I'd toss it out here and see what a bunch of complete strangers think.

Nice to know a bunch of you are in the "let it go" camp, too.

 

[luvmy3]

I would let it go, defining heroism is subjective, like one of the students pointed out, even terrorists are seen as heros. If it were my child who overheard that I would use it as a teaching moment to define what I believe heroism is, and what being in an abusive household means. I would also encourage my child speak up during the class discussion in the future if they heard a teacher make a comment like that, that many people would disagree with, but I would not go to the principal.

 

[taylor3297]

Since this was from a sub and not the actual teacher I would let it go and speak with dd about what heroic really means. If it really bothers you enough to write a letter, send it to the teacher for which the sub was substituting. This way the actual teacher can correct any misconceptions.

 

[luvthatdisney]

I work in a middle school and I have to agree with the PP that mentioned the use of retired teachers as substitutes. We have had several problems at our school due to this very thing.

I think as most of us get older we lose the filters that help us control what we say and to whom we say it. We have seen it all to often were an older retired teacher subs and starts randomly spouting crazy information to the kids. One sub was banned from our school due to that (plus the fact that she would leave campus during her planning period without authorization- big no no!).

I do see where the OP's DD missed part of the conversation, but if the parent feels the conversation was out of line, I would at least mention it to the regular teacher. There may be other issues with this sub and if things are not brought out, then it will continue.

I think if it were me and I did not know what I do about subs, I would probably just use it as a teaching opportunity for my child. I would sit her down and explain what heroism really is and why the subs statement was incorrect. Things like this are usually the best way for a child to learn something.

 

[dislaney]

I'd let it go. I would speak to my child about what heroic really means though.