What is the funniest excuse your kid has come up with?

[tonilea]

Yesterday we took a little trip to Branson. We went out to eat and then did some shopping. Something didn't go to suit Thomas and he started crying. I told him that if he wanted to cry, we could just go home. He quit crying and all was well.....

A few minutes later, he said: "I'm sorry about that crying. I was practicing for a Kid's Crying Contest."

 

[terri01p]

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[PatsGirl]

 

[DebIreland]

I asked dd5 where all the biscuits had gone and she went red in the face and then said 'I think nana (her 75 yo granny) came in to the house early and took them'. I said (trying to keep a straight face) 'Hmmm I don't think nana has a key' and she said 'well she didn't want to wake us so she probably came in the window'.
2 minutes later she fessed up and said 'sorry I lied. Will I get arrested now?'

 

[Avalon_toon]

 

[becjlek]

I once asked my youngest why he pooped in his pants. We were getting ready to clean up and change so he was still wearing them. He told me he didn't do it. His older brother did it.

 

[golfgal]

When DD was about 4 she "needed" to sleep in our bed every night. One night she came into our room and told us that her covers were too fuzzy so she couldn't sleep in her own bed .

 

[rebeccalb10]

One night when my dd was about 2 when she didn't want to go to sleep. We asked to her to give us a good reason that she should get to stay up. She said "Because 17". We both couldn't stop laughing.. we let her stay up another 15 minutes.

 

[skuttle]

LOL! These are great!

When DS was younger, he would never admit when he would fall asleep in the car, during a movie, etc. One day I caught him sleeping in his chair in his room while watching a movie. I took a few pictures of him in his chair. When he woke up, I asked him if he took a nap during the movie. He told me no. So then I showed him the pictures of himself, and he says "That's not me." LOL!

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

When my dd was in 1st grade she wasn't doing her math work in class. Her teacher asked why and dd said her family didn't believe in math.

 

[tonilea]

When my dd was in 1st grade she wasn't doing her math work in class. Her teacher asked why and dd said her family didn't believe in math.

LOL

I love these. DS told someone he was allergic to peanut butter. He isn't, he just doesn't care for it. We had a long talk about that one. Allergies are nothing to joke about.

 

[Orangeandwild]

DH had a suspiscion that DS2 (14) was hiding something in his room so he did a room search and found some adult male magazines under the mattress.

DS2 claimed to have no knowledge of them and claimed Grandma (who was 75) and had slept in his room while visiting must have left them there under his mattress, as she had done it before..

Needless to say we did not buy that story

 

[donald&daisy]

My Mom likes to relate the story of how I embarrased her at friend's house when we were getting ready to leave and she told me to help clean up the toys (I was around 5) and I started crying really hard and she asked what was wrong and I said "I don't want to clean up because I might sweat." I think she was mortified and I did indeed help clean up the toys, by myself.

 

[golfgal]

My Mom likes to relate the story of how I embarrased her at friend's house when we were getting ready to leave and she told me to help clean up the toys (I was around 5) and I started crying really hard and she asked what was wrong and I said "I don't want to clean up because I might sweat." I think she was mortified and I did indeed help clean up the toys, by myself.

DD14 has a girl on her basketball team that doesn't like to work too hard because she might sweat .

 

[Pigeon]

OK, it's not my kid. It was one of my SIL's siblings. He was in highschool.

Mom came in his room to put away some laundry. She opened his closet door, to find a grow light and some flora of a particular variety.

She confronted her son about it immediately. His response was, "Mom, of course it's not mine. I'm growing the plant for my friend Joe. Joe's mom won't let him grow that in his house."

Needless to say, neither would his mom.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

OK, it's not my kid. It was one of my SIL's siblings. He was in highschool.

Mom came in his room to put away some laundry. She opened his closet door, to find a grow light and some flora of a particular variety.

She confronted her son about it immediately. His response was, "Mom, of course it's not mine. I'm growing the plant for my friend Joe. Joe's mom won't let him grow that in his house."

Needless to say, neither would his mom.

OMG!!!!!!

My mom tells me of the story when I was about 2, and broke her typewriter. When she asked why I broke it...I said it wasnt me.. "Pookie did it"
Pookie was our poodle.

 

[Katieinwonderland]

My mom tells me of the story when I was about 2, and broke her typewriter. When she asked why I broke it...I said it wasnt me.. "Pookie did it"
Pookie was our poodle.

When I was four, I found my birthday cake the morning of my birthday and ate the entire thing. When my mom found me (covered in icing) and asked what happened, I blamed Rio.

Rio was the hamster.

 

[Sue122]

When my DD12 was 4, she was hospitalized for Kawasaki Syndrome. This disease can affect the heart, so one of the treatments they had her on was a dose of 3 children's aspirin taken every 4 hours. She hated taking those aspirin's and the nurses really had to work hard to get her to take them.

With one of the nurses, her excuse to delay taking the medicine was that she'd take them "when she got done breathing."

 

[englishteacha]

When my husband was about 12, he was using some tools in the garage and a piece of wood broke the garage door window. When his mom came home she said, "How'd the window get broken?" and he said, "Well, when the stick went through it..."

 

[Vallie]

lol these are two cute!
i dont have any stories of my own kiddos (dont have any)
but i do work in a school and the funniest thing a kid said to me was a little boy who was 6ish was running around in the gym and he slapped my bum, i took him aside to explain to him we dont touch others there, its not appropriate etc and i asked him why he did it and he responded to me, thats what daddy does to mommy!

lol i couldnt help myself but laugh. his mommy was pretty red when i explained to her what had happened lol