What is an appropriate age to let your kids "go"

[Disney1fan2002]

I used to think I was positive that my kids were not going to leave the yard alone or with a friend until they were 10/11 years old. We moved to a great neighborhood 2.5 years ago. no traffic, sidewalks, and tons of kids. My house sits at the end of a cul-de-sac. My oldest DS just turned 7 in June. Still too young for my taste to venture off. But, you would not believe the kids in this neighborhood who are one bikes 3 times too big for them, nowhere near their own house. I first discovered this 2 years ago, the 1st summer we lived here. I saw a little girl no older than my oldest ( he was 4 at the time, turning 5) On her bike and I could just tell she was not in front of her house. I was SHOCKED. Months later, I volunteered in my son's Kindergarten class, and she was in his class, he asked if he could invite her over one day, and I asked him to get her phone number so I could call and talk to her mom. The mom told me where she lived, it is a MILE from where I saw this girl on her bike! This was a good 2 months before school started. So she was only 5 years old. Now this girl is 7, and she is at my house first thing in the morning most days. She comes at meal times and she tries to get my 5 year old daughter to ask me if she can sleep over. I have started sending her home. I don't need another kid. The mom will call and just say "send her home before dark" Well DUH. Now, I have been noticing more and more kids my son's age out on their bikes, and I am wondering, am I overprotective? I was thinking closer to 10..but 7, even 8 is hard for me to imagine him not being within hearing distance. I do have to say, I walk him up to the corner in the morning to get the bus, so he is not waiting, but he is allowed to walk home after the bus drops him off without me being there to hold his hand ( yes, I am proud of myself for taking that step, LOL)

Is 7 an appropriate age, or is it too young? I think it is too young, no matter how street smart a kid may seem.

 

[CamColt]

Ill be curious to hear opinions on this one too.

We are in a similar situation. We live in a very safe neighborhood, on a cul de sac too. I wont let my kids play outside alone, they are 3 & 6. I may leave them in the driveway while I run in the house for a second, but I can hear them and usually see them the whole time. However other parents will send their kids(6, 6 & 4) out alone...even riding their bikes. There is one 6 yo who lives on the street we live off of. He will just show up at our house, no parent in sight, when I am outside with the kids. In fact this happened earlier today. After about an hour of being the Koolaid Mom, I said he had to go home because we were going in. I got..."Why do you have to go in?"...To do stuff "Why cant we stay outside alone?"...Because you guys are 6 years old!

Maybe Im overprotective, but I think 6, or 7 in your case, is too young.

 

[sha_lyn]

Oh boy, In our old neighborhood this was a huge problem. DS was 3 when we moved there. At the end of the street there was a family with a 2 DD and 4 DS. Those kids were out all day alone. The boy would be 2 or 3 streets over on his big wheel. I found the little girl playing under my car one day (I almost ran over her). They weren't the only ones either. Most kids that could walk had the run of the neighborhood. DS on the other hand we didn't leave DS outside on our own yard unitl he was about 5, and that was with both dogs out there wiht him, and me watching through the window. If I waswashing dishes in the klitchen he could play on the porch right under the kitchen window. If I was folding laundry ect in the living room he has to play on that side of the house near or on his swing set. Just before we moved there was a lady who moved onto our street with a 2 yr old. DS was 8 by that time and could play on our street if he was in view of our front door. If not he had to come tell me who's yard he would be in. Well this 2 yr old would often follow the boys around the neighborhood, and several times I'd come home to him playing in our play house or on our swing set with his mother no where in sight (she was inside with the curtains shut). After I moved Iwas told that DEFACS was finally called because he was out alone sometimes unitl way after dark.

 

[cgcw]

My DS8 is not allowed to just roam the neighborhood. If he's going to his friends, that's fine. When he goes there, he will call me to let me know he's gotten there. His best buddy lives a couple of blocks over and I'll either drive him over there or his friends mom will come and pick him up.

One day last summer a neighbor boy's (7 at the time) mom pulled up in front of our home and asked me if I knew where another boy lived because that's where her son told her he was going to be. Didn't seem to frazzle her at all but I was concerned that she'd be able to find him. I could never let my child go to another child's home without making sure an adult was present -- much less making sure I knew where the child lived.

Sometimes it does make me wonder if I'm overprotective. But I'd rather error on the side of caution. While I've learned to let my son walk to the school bus alone, I do stand out front to make sure he gets on the bus. I no longer meet him at the corner, but my door is open and I'm watching out the window at the time the bus should arrive (don't tell DS).

IMO, 7 is too young.

 

[disneychrista]

My DD's are 10 & 12 and I do not allow them off and by themselves. They are allowed outside only within certain areas that I can see them from the front window, if I am not out with them.

IMO, 7 is too young to be out and about by themselves.

 

[DawnCt]

We live in a rural area on a cul de sac and I have always let my kids play outside once they were school age. Certainly at 7 or 8 they should be able to walk to another child's house on the street and play. From the time we moved into our neighborhood and the oldest was 7, there were 22 kids on the street from the ages of 1 to 12. There were always kids outside. Most of my boys were struggling to ride a two wheeler up and down the street by the time they were four or five. I stayed outside for that of course, in case they fell. Out in the yard by themselves? 5 or 6. At that age they know enough not to leave the yard or driveway. In 20 something years and after 4 boys I haven't lost anyone. I think thalt you can shelter children too much and when danger arrives, they don't know how to recognize it.

 

[mrsltg]

I tend to agree with the OP. Neighborhoods are more transient now, and I don't think that people are necessarily as aware of someone who doesn't belong as they were in times past. I think that 7 is old enough to play outside as long as Mom or Dad are nearby, but I don't think that they should be wandering too far from home.

Erin

 

[peg2001]

This is a pet peeve of mine, young children running unsupervised through the neighborhood. We now have a 4-year old boy from several houses down showing up at our house to ask to play. When it is convenient, I take DD3 and DD6 outside to play with him. The first time he showed up, he asked "how far can they go?" I explained that they could not leave the yard. Later, he asked if they could go to his house and when I said no, he asked why not. I explained that my children can not go anywhere they will not be supervised. One day, he even showed up with his 3 year old sister in tow.

DD3 and DD6 know not to go into the street and they know not to leave the yard. They are still not allowed to play outside by themselves. Parents need to own up to their responsbilities and provide suitable supervision of their young children.

Has everyone so quickly forgotten the 8-year-old boy who was abducted and murdered when he was out with other boys in the neighborhood riding bicycles?

Peggy

 

[miko]

Is 7 an appropriate age, or is it too young? I think it is too young, no matter how street smart a kid may seem.

You answered your own question! You and only you (and spouse) can decide when it is right. Every family is different, every neighborhood is different. Too many variables to state an age.
My opinion is 7 might be too young without some close observation, but obviously some people feel younger is ok.

 

[LisaR]

Had to comment on this one. We have a park that is 3 somewhat short blocks away from us. We take our kids (8 and 6) there a lot and there are always young kids (5, 6, 7, 8) who rode their bike there by themselves or with another friend or sibling. We do live in what we thought was a very safe place. Last week, they arrested a guy in an internet sting. He thought he was meeting a 14 year old girl and it turned out to be an undercover officer. When they went to his house to search it, they found all kinds of kiddie porn. They also found many pictures of kids playing at the park down the street from us. Turns out, the creep lives right across the street from the park. Of course, all the people that lived right next to him didn't have a clue. That confirmed what we already knew. Our kids aren't venturing off on their own until they are 30! LOL

Lisa

 

[WIcruizer]

First, I agree 7 is way too young to "roam around." If it's on the same street and he's going from point A to point B I could see it I guess, but we wouldn't allow our 8 yr old to do that. Even our 12 yr old daughter cannot roam around.

Secondly, allowing YOUR kids to roam means other parents end up being responsible for them. We have two neighbors who's kids ages 3-6 show up at our house. Parents are nowhere in site, so nowI'm responsible for making sure they get back home or watching them as they play in our yard. We've mentioned this to one of our neighbors, but don't want to push it too far (yet)

 

[Mskanga]

The only roaming my 6 yr old does is our yard and sometimes rides her bike in my next door neighbor's driveway ( our neighbor is a weekender and she allowed the children to ride their bikes there ). My oldest one ( 10 yr old ) will ride around the block but only with friends, not alone. She will not go more than around the block though. Maybe I'm over protective but I'm ok with that.

 

[Felicia]

We live in a very quite cul-de-sac setting. My children, 10DS & 7yoDD are allowed to ride their bikes around the block together. But, my children always have their 2-way radios with them and I have mine on inside the house. My DS has one that looks like a wrist watch and he thinks it is "cool", kind of like a secret agent thing! There are so many kids in our neighborhood and all the neighbors know eachother, so I feel safe. I like using the 2-ways , so they can "check in" with me!

I would NOT let my 7yo go around the neighborhood alone though.

 

[Lynn CC]

There can be a "nut" in any neighborhood. I live on a cul-de-sac too but I would never let DS go out of hearing range until he was 13. Even then he had to be with friends. I'm rather lucky on this though because his friends are next door and across the street. I didn't let him go to the baseball field which is about a 2 minute walk until he was 13..with friends.
I say you can never be too careful.