What do you think?

[froglady]

DH & I are having a celebration for our 30th anniversary. Three of his sisters and two BILs will be attending from out of town, along with his best friend (who was best man) and his wife.

Two couples will be staying at our house. His other sister (single) could stay on a fold loveseat in our library, but she would prefer to stay in a hotel. The friend and his wife will be staying in a hotel.

DSIL called about possibilities, and I told her the names of the most convenient hotels; the friend & wife will be staying in one of them. DSIL mentioned a couple of places she had found online, and I told her that one was in a bad neighborhood, and the other was pretty far away.

Well, she emailed her travel plans today, and chose the one that is about 20-30 minutes from our house. She is NOT renting a car; the other sister said she would transport her. That means it would be almost an hour roundtrip to take her back after dinner on Friday and Sat, and to go and get her in the morning.

I replied that if it was OK, I would make a reservation at the closer hotel, and pay the difference in price. I actually will just pay for it, as I never really expected her to spend all that money to come; the invite was a courtesy. (The other sisters live within a few hours or less driving distance) The friend just happened to be planning a trip to this area before we planned the party.

Was I out of line to do this?

 

[golfgal]

No, I think you are fine. I think it is out of line for someone to expect others to cart them around town like that.

 

[Disney Doll]

You know, DH has a sister like this who lives in the Midwest (thank God). She's 49 years old and she expects someone to pick her up at the airport and to have a car at her disposal while she's here, or, if we are so bold as to not leave a car at her disposal, then we damn well better be able to cart her around wherever she wants to go. It drives me crazy. You're an adult...travel like one. Make arrangements to get your self to and from the airport and rent a car so you can do what you want when you want so you are not inconveniencing people. And if you can't afford that, then stay home.

You're much nicer than me. I would have left the SILs to their own arrangements, let the one rent a room wherever she wanted and let the other deal with carting her around if she was willing to take that on. Of course, I am basing my response on a long and not always good history with the crazy Midwest SIL, and for all I know, your SILs may be lovely.

 

[froglady]

She is actually a lovely person, and carted us around a lot when we were in Chicago last winter...but that was her choice! We were there for a meeting, and she INSISTED on eating dinner with us every day and touring on the weekend...which involved her driving us. There were many excursions, dinners, etc planned for participants, but we didn't want to hurt her feelings, so skipped them. I would have been happy with one dinner, and one museum trip.

I'm sure that she told her sister that she would be renting a car, but sister told her not to bother, she would pick her up. I wouldn't care if it was "just" a visit, but it is a special event, and the third sister will just be here for 24 hours. (There are 3 sisters coming in all) That means that at least three hours will be spent transporting her back and forth on Sat and Sun morning, rather than less than an hour if she is close by. If she were to leave something in her room, it could take even longer.

BTW, she hasn't responded to my email yet. And she knows my mother has started being followed by Hospice (the transition was not a smooth one; it's day two and things are not going well) and is probably going to die between now and our anniversary, OR will be in her last hours. This doesn't exactly make me the easiest person to deal with right now.

Also keep in mind that I already cancelled a planned vow renewal in WDW because of this, and had to cancel our 25th celebration because my father was dying. That's why we're doing a big celebration at 30.