What do you think about this?

[hereyago]

I wish I had my camera a little bit ago, but after picking DD11 up after intramurals after school.

I saw this boy about same age as DD and he was on the sidewalk corner of a busy intersection. He was holding up a sign and I only saw part of it as I was starting to drive, but apparently he had been disrespectful to his parents and I couldn't make out the rest,but his Dad was out there watching him do this.

The kid's face was buried in the poster board sign, but you know he was just freaking out. I bet whatever he may have done, he won't do it again.


One time, when DD was in 1st grade, she told me she didn't feel good, her stomach was hurting, so she stayed home. A little bit later she was jumping all over. I got her dressed and took her to school and right in front of the principal told about what a miraculous recovery Dd made. SHe has never faked sick again.

 

[disykat]

We used to have a running gag with our kids that if they misbehaved we were going to stand in front of the mall or by their school holding a sign that said "we're x's mom and dad" and dance.

It was a fun threat, but in general I think humiliating your kids isn't a good idea.

In your case, taking your dd back to school might have embarrassed her, but it was a logical consequence. It's hard to imagine making your child hold a sign about being disrespecful being a logical consequece. Though I guess you could make a case that the parents were being disrespectful right back.

 

[freckles and boo]

I appreciate creative parenting, but I wouldn't humiliate my kids publicly like that. A kid should be able to put a punishment behind him when it is over. When you involve the whole neighborhood there are too many people out there who could drag it back up over and over again.

 

[daisyduck123]

I'm ok with it. Perhaps that parent had tried several other punishments & the kids still screwed up. Now....I'll bet that kid will never do "whatever it was" AGAIN. Punishments are supposed to deter a kid from doing the misbehavior again. I bet that parent succeeded.

As a public school teacher, I know wayyyy too many parents who are too lenient & then wonder why their kids keep misbehaving.

 

[MM27]

I would beep my horn as I drove by to acknowledge that his parents were creative with their discipline. I bet the kid doesn't do again whatever it was that got him put out there.

 

[ElizK]

When DD17 was in 6th grade she was forever forgetting to turn in homework that she had actually done. I'd had it. I told her if it happened again (within a certain amount of time) that I was going to take off work and go with her to every class to make sure she got it turned in. Also told her I'd wear my robe and slippers and hair curlers. I sure am glad she got her act together, because I'm not sure if I could have done the robe/slippers/curlers thing.

Sometimes creative parenting is what it takes!

 

[RunningGirl]

I'm with disykat - we usually go for logical consequence. So far (DD is a junior in hs) it has been very effective.

I would never do this to my kid unless I really thought there he was starting down a dangerous path and I was desperate. Even then, I think I could figure out a better way to deal with it.

 

[englishteacha]

Hey ElizK...I had a mom come to school with her son! He wasn't doing any work, was lying to both the teachers and his mom, and she'd had it. So she came with him for 2 or 3 days. She sat at his table in class, reminded him to write down his homework, and ate lunch with him and his friends. It was awkward for me as a teacher to have her there (I felt like I was being watched!), but it did make a difference in her son's work!

 

[C.Ann]

Interesting.. It would have to be a very, very, very serious issue for me to ever consider such a thing - and then only after every possible other alternative was tried..

For the most part, I don't agree with public humiliation - but there are always very few cases where nothing else works and the behavior is serious enough that a parent has to pull out all the stops..

 

[MM27]

It's better that the kid deals with the issues now with a bit of humiliation than standing in the same spot in a few years picking up trash in an orange jumpsuit.

I would think that a parent that went to the extreme of putting a child on a street like that has probably attempted other forms of discipline without success. What seems extreme might be a last attempt.

 

[EMom]

Recently, my sister and I were discussing the concept of shame and how a little dose of shame and embarrassment was a supreme motivating force when we and our friends were growing up. Now, no one seems ashamed of a blessed thing. Frankly, I'll give this parent the benefit of the doubt since I don't know all the circumstances. Odds are the kid will never forget being embarrassed beyond words for whatever he did......And that is NOT a bad thing. It is one way we are taught to stay within the norms of society. Some just learn this more easily than others.

 

[hereyago]

I wish I could have read the whole sign. But I know there were more words then just I have disrespected my parents.

So I don't think it was because he smart mouthed his dad once. My Dd saw it as well and said she knows better to do something because I would probably do the same thing.

 

[sunnyday123]

When I would go to school to pick up DD I would get, "hold on, just a minute, wait a second.." Or she would just keep on doing what she was doing, and since I didn't want to scream across a playground, I'd wait...steaming. I finally told her if she did it again, I was going home and changing into go-go boots and a belly shirt.

As soon as she sees me now she stops, tells her friends she'll see them later, and gets her stuff together. I really don't think this kid is going to be scared for life, and I bet he won't do what he did again.

 

[ElizK]

Hey ElizK...I had a mom come to school with her son! He wasn't doing any work, was lying to both the teachers and his mom, and she'd had it. So she came with him for 2 or 3 days. She sat at his table in class, reminded him to write down his homework, and ate lunch with him and his friends. It was awkward for me as a teacher to have her there (I felt like I was being watched!), but it did make a difference in her son's work!

 

[Inigo]

Hey ElizK...I had a mom come to school with her son! He wasn't doing any work, was lying to both the teachers and his mom, and she'd had it. So she came with him for 2 or 3 days. She sat at his table in class, reminded him to write down his homework, and ate lunch with him and his friends. It was awkward for me as a teacher to have her there (I felt like I was being watched!), but it did make a difference in her son's work!

I've done this with some of my juvenile probation clients. I told the kids if they had problems at school, I would come observe to figure out what the problem was that was causing the difficulties. I never had to go back a second time for any of them.

The other kids in the class just thought I was a school system or teacher observer, especially since I got up and helped any of the kids in the class if they needed assistance during the lesson. I knew all the teachers since I used to teach in the schools system prior to becoming a probation officer, so none of the teachers had a problem with me being there.

 

[JennaTX]

My son is in 1st grade and already there have been calls to me about the boys playing around in the bathroom (no teacher in there). So I told DS to cut it out or his Mommy was going to come up to school and go with him on bathroom breaks. He looked at me like I was crazy....but there has not been a problem since!

Same thing with DD last year (4th grade) she was daydreaming, messing around, her teacher called a meeting. I told her to call me the next time it happened (I live a block from the school) and I would come up there and sit next to her. So I told DD to get it together and do her work, or her teacher would call me, and I would come sit next to her....same thing, never had the problem again!

 

[shortbun]

Sounds like that Dad is a bully. I'd be interested to know if the boy's crime involved any such activity. The two kids I know who bully are cut from the cloth of their Dads and the Dads won't own their own reflection. I would never have disciplined my 11yo in that way. Too young for that kind of humiliation. Oh well, some psychologist will make lots of money on the kids from that family. Hope the dad is planning on leaving an estate.