What do you owe your kids in re: school quality?

[NotUrsula]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because we may be moving next year, and in many discussions with others, both online and IRL, I've found that an enormous number of parents seem to feel that they just MUST move into the very "best" school system that they can manage to stretch to afford a house in. It seems that every other consideration (commute distance/time, style/size of the home, neighborhood type, conservation concerns, saving for retirement, etc.) all must take a back seat to the compelling need to get into the BEST school system you can possibly afford.

I've never felt that way. Maybe it is because I went to a truly BAD set of schools and survived just fine, but I'm rather inclined to think that my kids can live with something that is less than premium, if other concerns make a particular choice of location and house seem better for our family's long-term well-being. I'm not going to send them to really awful schools if I can afford to do otherwise, but I don't feel that I must sacrifice absolutely all of my own priorities on the altar of the perfect public school.

I really don't remember this attitude existing when I was a kid, but maybe I just didn't see it, or maybe it was because of our socio-economic strata. What I remember is that parents tended to try to pick a relatively safe neighborhood close to Dad's work, and you went to the school that you were assigned to, or you went to a church-sponsored school if your family was religious and the tuition money was there.

When did it change? Am I really that odd for giving other considerations equal and perhaps even superior weight? Is it really going to handicap them for life it they go to the school that has 5 choices of social studies classes rather than nine?

 

[golfgal]

We are lucky here in MN that we have so many very, very good school districts. You read posts about other metro areas and people can toss out 2 or 3 districts to move to where here we toss out about 3 districts you DON'T want. The handful of bad districts are easily avoided. When we last moved we had 4 things on our list of priorities: 1. reasonable commute, 2. good schools, 3. good band program, 4. good golf nearby. We narrowed it down to 3 communities and the top notch band program here won out. I would never move my kids into a bad school district. Yes, people survive coming out of bad schools but it isn't necessary here to live in a bad district. We also have the option of statewide open enrollment so if things change in your district or you don't end up liking the district you can move the kids to a new districts without having to move.

There are other considerations for living in a good district and housing values top those but you also find that communities are better in better districts-they have more offerings for families, they are safer, etc.

 

[Tinkermommy]

I agree with golfgal, good school districts typically are in more affluent areas and thus have more offerings in general.

We moved out of our last house because the school district was not good. We also based out seach on specific schools (not just districts). Here in Georgia you need to be selective as our schools in general are not very good.

So for us it was very important as I wanted my children to get the best education I could offer them. So it was move or spend around $14k for kindergarten.

 

[JessicaR]

School district is important to many when considering buying a house, where I live. There are good schools and bad schools everywhere. I went to good schools and so do my kids. Not saying that as someone that feels entitled. If I had a certain amount of $ I would look for the best area that I could afford and research schools and neighborhoods. People have a choice where to live but not how much to spend.

I'm wondering what priorities you would be sacrificing though? I agree that the neighborhood is as important. I guess I would also consider private school instead of buying a home outside of my means.

Schools districts grades as long as I can remember have been a priority for lots around here. But also LI has seen tremendous growth since I was a kid, things have changed.

 

[minniebeth]

NotUrsula, your post really hit a chord with me as we are struggling with the decision to put our two younger children into public school, as they are in private (parochial) school now. The tuition first and foremost has become a burden to our family with the yearly rising cost and with the economy the way it is. Our taxes continue to rise yearly as well with school bonds being passed that we are helping to pay for. While the school that they are in provides stellar academic programs, the culture has had us questioning why we continue to struggle to pay the tuition and be happy with the academics but unhappy with the social climate which to us is as equally important for our kids' happiness.

The public schools they would attend are rated just fine, not "stellar", we worry more about the assimilation of our kids into a public school setting rather than the academics. They've been in a "bubble" of a small school setting where gum chewing warrants demerits, lol.

I'm an educator, so education to me for my children up to this point was priority #1 at all costs, like you described in post perfectly. Now we are starting to question if that cost is too costly for our family and very on the fence about making the transition. It's scary to make that leap of faith that the kids will learn and do well and be happy too.

Your post brings up a really great "food for thought" discussion, as we all want the best education for our children, but again, at what cost.

 

[mamacatnv]

Interesting question. I don't think we owe them the best possible public school out there if it means sacrifing other things like you stated. Is a high achieving school worth an extra hour or 2 of commute time when a satisfactory school is next door or having nothing in savings etc? IMO, no.
Would I want my kids attending underachieving schools if I could avoid it? No, I wouldn't but the top of the pile is not necessary to me either. Like everything in life I think it is a balance.

When we bought our house our schools were good - not excellent but decent. They have declined over the years and we were faced with a truly bad school for DD but due to the economy we can't sell our house so, we put her into a Charter School. Everyone is happy.

 

[clutter]

Well, I'm probably a good example, since I have now moved twice for schools. That said, I don't always agree with the majority about what the "best" school is. In fact, my last move was to move away from a "best" school.

Anyway, in NoVa, we are also blessed with a lot of really really good schools. But, this is a different day and age than when we were kids. Do you want your child to go to a school, even though good, that has a considerable amount of gang activity in the middle school? I chose no. Thus the first move.

Well, then our high school got changed to a more highly coveted one. (It has greatly affected our home values and how quickly our homes sell, so for that I am grateful!) Over the course of the last few years, I'd come to decide that it simply wasn't a good personality match for my dd. The more I heard stories about the school from a good friend who's daughter was living the made-for-tv-perfect life (blonde freshman making varsity cheer and dating the gorgeous senior football star) the more I realized that it just wasn't our style. We're certainly well off, but we're not privileged to the extent her classmates would be. So we moved to the high school we were originally zoned for (there were other reasons as well, but school was important).

So do I think you should strive for the "best"? Absolutely not. I do think you should strive for the best fit, given your family's personality and budget.

 

[Christine]

Well, I'm probably a good example, since I have now moved twice for schools. That said, I don't always agree with the majority about what the "best" school is. In fact, my last move was to move away from a "best" school.

Anyway, in NoVa, we are also blessed with a lot of really really good schools. But, this is a different day and age than when we were kids. Do you want your child to go to a school, even though good, that has a considerable amount of gang activity in the middle school? I chose no. Thus the first move.

Well, then our high school got changed to a more highly coveted one. (It has greatly affected our home values and how quickly our homes sell, so for that I am grateful!) Over the course of the last few years, I'd come to decide that it simply wasn't a good personality match for my dd. The more I heard stories about the school from a good friend who's daughter was living the made-for-tv-perfect life (blonde freshman making varsity cheer and dating the gorgeous senior football star) the more I realized that it just wasn't our style. We're certainly well off, but we're not privileged to the extent her classmates would be. So we moved to the high school we were originally zoned for (there were other reasons as well, but school was important).

So do I think you should strive for the "best"? Absolutely not. I do think you should strive for the best fit, given your family's personality and budget.

I am also from the NoVA area and agree with clutter. In our area, often the "best" school system simply means that the kids in the school come from affluent families, have had the best life has to offer, and the teaching in the school didn't really account for that. In fact, I would venture to say that in the three major school districts in our area, there is literally zero difference in the curriculum. Yet one district consistently makes the top cut in the United States (they happen to be the most affluent district) while the others don't really come very close. Within that "best" school district, the wealthiest area has the top-rated high school. So, in NoVA at least, if you want to say you are in the "best" school, you have to follow the money.

Having said that, there is some importance to a good school. I moved to my current neighborhood when my oldest was 3. I was CLUELESS about what made a good school, how our boundaries were laid out, etc. When my DD finally got into elementary school, I realized that our neighborhood (which was zoned for one of the best elementary schools), was zoned for the WORST middle school. Daily crime, cops on site, teachers unable to teach due to disruptions. My daughter went to that school for 45 days and was suddenly a straight A student. We made the choice to move to private school. At that time, I *wished* I had paid more attention.

So, I would say it is important. Not to be in the BEST, but close to the top rated schools. I look at it from a "environment" angle and not an "education/test score" angle though. I have to say I would prefer my kids not to be in a school with gangs.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

My parents did everything they could to move us to one of the "best" school systems in the area (which is a much more expensive area to live). Where we were living and where I would've gone to school was a really rough area. My parents not only wanted me safe but also a better quality of an education (more teachers per students) and around other kids who were very motivated (and expected) to continue their education after high school. They certainly didn't sacrifice their future as they are both retired at 55 and 60 but we had a very frugal childhood (that was a blast and I wouldn't change anything about it). I'm so glad we moved as all of my 22 cousins on my Mom's side went to the schools I would've gone to and I heard their horror stories (plus 8 of them ended up pregnant between 17-19 although I don't know if that's because of the school but I knew only one girl at my school that got pregnant as a teenager [we had 350 people in my senior class]).

Our grading scale was also different than the school system my cousins went to. At my school only 95-100 was an 'A' and 90-100 was an 'A' at their school (all the other grades were different too, anything below 70 at my school was an 'F').

While it was nice being able to go to a nicer school, everyone was extremely judged on what they wore to school and what they drove. It was more of an upper class school which can be a bear when you're nowhere near that but I survived and am stronger for it.

 

[Lanshark]

The best schools are usually the safest schools because they are typically in high income areas. IMO, I do owe it to them to put them in the safest situation affordable.

 

[JessicaR]

The best schools are usually the safest schools because they are typically in high income areas. IMO, I do owe it to them to put them in the safest situation affordable.

We have schools districts on LI that are remarkable. Unfortunatley the neighborhoods arent that way any longer. It used to be just as you said.

 

[minniebeth]

The best schools are usually the safest schools because they are typically in high income areas. IMO, I do owe it to them to put them in the safest situation affordable.

While I agree with you to some degree, I can tell you that the affluant schools in our area (high schools specifically) have a high percentage of alcohol and drug use because there is money.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

While I agree with you to some degree, I can tell you that the affluant schools in our area (high schools specifically) have a high percentage of alcohol and drug use because there is money.

I agree. Drugs were rampant in my school (as with all of our local private, Christian high schools) but we had no gang activity and there was never one fight at my school. I guess you have to pick or choose what you'd want your kid exposed to at school (and even then there's no guarantees).

 

[JessicaR]

While I agree with you to some degree, I can tell you that the affluant schools in our area (high schools specifically) have a high percentage of alcohol and drug use because there is money.

The town next to our school district is known as 'the pharmacy'.

 

[JessicaR]

I agree. Drugs were rampant in my school (as with all of our local private, Christian high schools) but we had no gang activity and there was never one fight at my school. I guess you have to pick or choose what you'd want your kid exposed to at school (and even then there's no guarantees).

This is true also.

 

[Ceila]

My parents chose our homes (we moved twice while growing up) based on school districts, and my husband and I have done the same. I think we absolutely owe it to our children to give them the best education and life within our means, and for each family that will translate into something slightly different. Each family has things that they need to take into consideration (housing costs, commute, neighborhoods, etc.), and each family will have a different priority for those. It's a matter of deciding which are most important to your family and then you start deciding from there.

 

[golfgal]

This is what I like so much about our schools, we aren't in the wealthiest area and even those that are pretty wealthy it isn't a "flaunt it" type area like some other districts around the metro. The kids are pretty down to earth, don't care what kind of car you drive or what label is on your pants. It is a highly educated community (adults) that CARE about their kids getting a good education. They have a 90+% turn out at parent/teacher conferences in the high schools type of community.

 

[minniebeth]

I think we need to move to Minnesota

 

[golfgal]

I think we need to move to Minnesota

Come on over you will be glad you did!!

 

[ajk912]

The communities with the better school districts generally have better resale value, and they are in better areas (usually less crime, etc). I know there are exceptions but for MOST people if you are shown two houses..one in a good district another in a not so good, most people would pick the house with a good school district.