What do you do....workplace and xmas gift giving...a what should I do question :)

[npmommie]

So I haven't worked in awhile, and have a part time job now.........so last evening my boss gave me a gift, I was taken by surprise and did not expect this. I really didn't! ( there were actually 2 gifts one from her and one from the head of the whole company)
so am I supposed to give something too? what do I do in this situation?

 

[laurie31]

Where I work, it is expected to exchange gifts between certain people.

I am so thankful that when I took this job (7 years ago) someone took me aside and explained the "culture" of all this. There are 11 people to whom I am expected to give a $5-10 gift. They give me gifts in return. I completely hate this, as I have never gotten anything really interesting or useful (so that's 77 gifts sent off to Goodwill now), and I hate having to spend $50-100 on gifts that I know are likely received with about as much enthusiasm as I have for what I get, and it's a total PITA picking out something that will work for everyone - men, women, young, old that is...well, cheap.

I've given Christmas socks, mugs with hot cocoa mix, fleece blankets, Christmas kitchen towels, candles, tote bags, and now I am OUT of ideas! I wish we would stop this, but every time it's suggested, it's met with cries of horror, that we wouldn't have any "Christmas spirit." Seriously? I love buying gifts for my family, but buying a bunch of junk for people I hardly know (and in a couple of cases, hardly LIKE - lol) is not my idea of Christmas spirit. But otherwise my job is good (and yes, I'm thankful to HAVE a job!) so I just go along to keep the peace.


OP, is there anyone at your workplace that you trust, that you can ask about what the norm in the office is? Does everyone give a small gift to the boss, or do you chip in for something big? Are there others you are "expected" to have a gift for? What does everyone else usually do?

 

[NMAmy]

Check with your coworkers, if possible. I give a small gift to the part-timers who work for me in gratitude for what they do throughout the year. I neither want nor expect them to reciprocate and I let them know that.

LOL--after laurie's post, I thought I'd add that I give baked goods that I've made and a gift certificate to the movies!

 

[Sugardimples]

I would say thank you and not give a gift in return.

 

[npmommie]

omg laurie, that many gifts?!!!

I don't know how to ask anyone else, I work on my own. I have 2 places I cover for the patients, so when I am there it is just me.......there are other NP's but they are in different places or if its the same facility its a different day than me.
occasionally I run into someone from our company, but its rare.
I am new too, just started in august

If I get her a little something, does it look like I did it just cuz she did?
uggh.
I wish there was a xmas rule book

 

[clutter]

Generally, I've followed the following rule:

If a gift is from a higher-up, you say thank you.

If it's from a co-worker your level or below, you reciprocate.

 

[minniecarousel]

Generally, I've followed the following rule:

If a gift is from a higher-up, you say thank you.

If it's from a co-worker your level or below, you reciprocate.

I like this rule!

I work "for" about 100 teachers. (I run the big photocopier.) Some give me something at Christmastime. I say "thank you" and write a note thanking them. If it's a group gift, I write each individual a note.

OP: I'd give a Holiday card with a note of thanks to the "boss".

 

[Bren's Mom]

I agree with clutter...if it's your boss you don't have to reciprocate. However, if you have some extra cookies and bring in a small tin or little gift box of them on your last day or work before the holiday that would be very sweet.

And laurie, I totally agree that the secret santa or coworker gift thing stinks. Some of the women I work with aren't the nicest people and I hated being fake and buying things for them. So I got together with another of the ladies last year and suggested that since the economy was so bad and we were so lucky to have jobs why didn't we do some kind of donation? So we got the requested items list from a local rescue mission. It included all sorts of things like socks and other warm clothing, canned goods, office supplies. We all had a meeting to discuss it and everyone thought that would be a GREAT Christmas 'spirit' idea...what is Christmas if it's not about giving? So we agreed we'd each spend at least $15 but we could spend at much as we wanted over that. We wrapped a giant box with wrapping paper and as we got items we put them in the box. The day of our Christmas party we had it delivered to the Mission with a letter explaining how the donation came to be. We got a lovely thank you from them and we all felt good about it.

This year we did an 'adopt a family' thing. Same idea. We all enjoyed the shopping and the feeling good about it! Perhaps you can broach this idea with your coworkers next year and get them excited about making a change from the status quo.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The timing of it makes me wonder. If she didn't expect a gift in return, wouldn't she have given it to you next week? Were you at an office party or something? Now you have a whole week to fret and shop.

 

[Metsfan520]

I agree with clutter...if it's your boss you don't have to reciprocate. However, if you have some extra cookies and bring in a small tin or little gift box of them on your last day or work before the holiday that would be very sweet.

And laurie, I totally agree that the secret santa or coworker gift thing stinks. Some of the women I work with aren't the nicest people and I hated being fake and buying things for them. So I got together with another of the ladies last year and suggested that since the economy was so bad and we were so lucky to have jobs why didn't we do some kind of donation? So we got the requested items list from a local rescue mission. It included all sorts of things like socks and other warm clothing, canned goods, office supplies. We all had a meeting to discuss it and everyone thought that would be a GREAT Christmas 'spirit' idea...what is Christmas if it's not about giving? So we agreed we'd each spend at least $15 but we could spend at much as we wanted over that. We wrapped a giant box with wrapping paper and as we got items we put them in the box. The day of our Christmas party we had it delivered to the Mission with a letter explaining how the donation came to be. We got a lovely thank you from them and we all felt good about it.

This year we did an 'adopt a family' thing. Same idea. We all enjoyed the shopping and the feeling good about it! Perhaps you can broach this idea with your coworkers next year and get them excited about making a change from the status quo.

What a fantastic idea!

 

[pearlieq]

Generally, I've followed the following rule:

If a gift is from a higher-up, you say thank you.

If it's from a co-worker your level or below, you reciprocate.

Exactly.

 

[puffkin]

I agree with others...I only reciprocate if it is a same level or lower.

I am in a new company this year and there are only 5 of us plus our direct manager. We all put in $10 to get our manager a gift card to her favorite store. I wasn't planning on exchanging with my coworkers, but I am in the mood to make something, so I think I might make some oreo truffles or almond bark and give that and a card next week. I do not expect anything in return from any of them.

Most of my companies in the past have done a secret santa type thing and group gift to the boss. That always seems to work well and I always gave a card to my other coworkers.

 

[npmommie]

The timing of it makes me wonder. If she didn't expect a gift in return, wouldn't she have given it to you next week? Were you at an office party or something? Now you have a whole week to fret and shop.

I don't see her often, only occasionally, the last time I saw her was 2-3 weeks ago.
she pops in now and then when she knows where I will be. No office party.......she dropped in where I was last evening for about 20 min to give me something job related, and gave me the gift too.

I don't have an office. our headquarters is out in the western part of the state. I probably won't see her again until after the holidays, and again its a planned thing, if she knows where I will be and we have a need to connect.
I am basically on my own all the time.
So I am thinking she was probably taking the opportunity to give it to me since she knew she probably wouldn't see me again until January!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I am thinking she was probably taking the opportunity to give it to me since she knew she probably wouldn't see me again until January!

In that case I don't think you need to reciprocate.

 

[txSleepingBeauty]

Where I work, it is expected to exchange gifts between certain people.

I am so thankful that when I took this job (7 years ago) someone took me aside and explained the "culture" of all this. There are 11 people to whom I am expected to give a $5-10 gift. They give me gifts in return. I completely hate this, as I have never gotten anything really interesting or useful (so that's 77 gifts sent off to Goodwill now), and I hate having to spend $50-100 on gifts that I know are likely received with about as much enthusiasm as I have for what I get, and it's a total PITA picking out something that will work for everyone - men, women, young, old that is...well, cheap.

I've given Christmas socks, mugs with hot cocoa mix, fleece blankets, Christmas kitchen towels, candles, tote bags, and now I am OUT of ideas! I wish we would stop this, but every time it's suggested, it's met with cries of horror, that we wouldn't have any "Christmas spirit." Seriously? I love buying gifts for my family, but buying a bunch of junk for people I hardly know (and in a couple of cases, hardly LIKE - lol) is not my idea of Christmas spirit. But otherwise my job is good (and yes, I'm thankful to HAVE a job!) so I just go along to keep the peace.


OP, is there anyone at your workplace that you trust, that you can ask about what the norm in the office is? Does everyone give a small gift to the boss, or do you chip in for something big? Are there others you are "expected" to have a gift for? What does everyone else usually do?

buy everyone this book:
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Scroogenomics/Joel-Waldfogel/e/9780691142647/?itm=1&USRI=scroogenomics+why+you+shouldn%27t+buy+presents

 

[laurie31]

I agree with clutter...if it's your boss you don't have to reciprocate. However, if you have some extra cookies and bring in a small tin or little gift box of them on your last day or work before the holiday that would be very sweet.

And laurie, I totally agree that the secret santa or coworker gift thing stinks. Some of the women I work with aren't the nicest people and I hated being fake and buying things for them. So I got together with another of the ladies last year and suggested that since the economy was so bad and we were so lucky to have jobs why didn't we do some kind of donation? So we got the requested items list from a local rescue mission. It included all sorts of things like socks and other warm clothing, canned goods, office supplies. We all had a meeting to discuss it and everyone thought that would be a GREAT Christmas 'spirit' idea...what is Christmas if it's not about giving? So we agreed we'd each spend at least $15 but we could spend at much as we wanted over that. We wrapped a giant box with wrapping paper and as we got items we put them in the box. The day of our Christmas party we had it delivered to the Mission with a letter explaining how the donation came to be. We got a lovely thank you from them and we all felt good about it.

This year we did an 'adopt a family' thing. Same idea. We all enjoyed the shopping and the feeling good about it! Perhaps you can broach this idea with your coworkers next year and get them excited about making a change from the status quo.

That is an awesome idea! If we all took the money we spend on each other, and used it for charity instead, we should have...my goodness, close to $1000! I had NEVER thought of how much was spent when 12 people bought 11 $5-10 presents. Maybe no one else has either. Even if we all gave $50, that's still $600!


And the book sounds like a great idea, too. If they veto the charity thing, maybe I'll buy them all one next year!