What do you do with your child that is

[luvmyfam444]

sassing back??? It's driving me CRAZY! And the bad thing is sh'es ONLY 8!!!! I've got to stop it before it gets worse!

ANd then there's the sibling fights! AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

HELP ME!

 

[JCJRSmith]

I think the cure for that is too recognize it RIGHT AWAY and correct it. Taking away priveledges always works with my kids. My wife and I are on the same page as far as disciplining our children. We will not tolerate any disrespect. Decide right now what the punishment will be and the next time she sasses, carry through with the punishment. She has to learn that you mean what you say.

 

[ILUVMYBRIT]

I don't tolerate it at all. My two try it occasionally and I immediately say something to the effect of, hmm I must not have heard you right...would you like to think about what you just said and maybe try again? That gives them a second to rethink what they may have said. Then...if they are still mouthy, they lose something they enjoy. I find children so disrespectful of adults lately and it drives me crazy so I won't accept it from my kids or anyone elses as a matter of fact.

 

[lulugirl]

I have a 6 1/2 year old like this, it makes me crazy. I agree w/ the above posters, don't tolerate it and always follow through on any punishments. Unfortunately my Dh is the king of empty threats, so I am the "mean" parent.

 

[Sandy V.]

I agree with the above posters - nip it in the bud NOW, or it has the potential to get worse.

Taking away a privilege (computer, tv, having a friend over, etc.) generally works wonders.

And I also agree that a UNITED PARENTAL FRONT is a must! When both Mom and Dad sit down with them together and say, "This is disrepectful behavior and it ends right this minute", the kid will generally straighten up immediately for the most part (with the usual relapses that everyone has).

Good luck. Mine are 18 and 16 and they still have their moments, but I haven't had to kill them yet. Like my tag says, Parenting is not for sissies!

 

[KelNottAt]

Here's how I handled it...

First, I decided to set a good example. I eliminated all sass and sarcasm from my own tone. (I'm not accusing you of having any, I'm just saying this is what I did.)

Then, I got in the habit of stopping everything I was doing whenever she got fresh. I even pulled the car over if I had to. I looked her square in the face and told her calmly I will not tolerate it. She lost all privleges all day long for everything if she ever gave me sass for any reason. She wasn't even allowed any privleges if she asked for them nicely (that day). Zero tolerance, one strike and you're out for the whole day.

It worked in less than a week.

 

[barkley]

went through a short rough patch with ds at around age 8 with this. i finaly asked him one day 'would you talk to your teacher this way?'. he replied 'no'-so i told him 'fine then i'm resigning from my job as 'mom' and reassigning myself as your 'life skills teacher'. i made him call me by my married last name ('mrs. x'), ask for permission to go to the bathroom (thought about making hall passes but we did'nt get to that point), had to raise his hand to ask me questions....when dh got home he lamented to him that he liked me as a mom much better than as a teacher after about a half a day of it he apologized and asked if i could 'reassign yourself back to mom'. i did and he realy improved in the area-but occasionaly he will slip and all i have to say is 'would you say that to your teacher'-and it gets him right back on track

 

[Lorix2]

Barkely -I asked the same thing of my DS8 about if he'd speak to his teachers that and he said "no" and I explained that I deserve and demand the same respect shown to them.

I agree that we have to stop it immediately and mean what you say. I've been a little lenient if he's really upset about something and he's just having a meltdown and when I try to understand what's making him upset, he's lashed out at me...but that's the only time really.

He did mouth off at my friends house in their pool and told him to get out of the water to sit for a 5 minute time out and he refused and swam away! I jumped right in and took him out. He was embarrassed and didn't think I would do it, but he took his punishment and didn't do it again...well at least for a couple of days ...but I do follow through, it's an uphill battle, but if we keep on them about it, eventually it won't be any fun for them anymore.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Beat them

 

[golfgal]

A few times being sent to their rooms or not being able to play, etc usually takes care of it. DD tends to lip off on occasion and all I need to say is "keep that up and ________ "(what ever the punishment is). She stops.

 

[Pigeon]

My 8 year old is an attorney in training. Reasoning with her is pointless as it just turns into an endless debate. We've used the book 1-2-3 Magic with excellent results. DD even admits that things are much more pleasant all around with this technique.

 

[lindalinda]

eyeball to eyeball......make sure she knows you are serious! You have to stop it right away, so be ready to endure some weeping and wailing but stick to your guns on whatever punishment you decide on. Its hard, but you have to do it even if she is with her friends.....this will embarrass her (and you too probably) but she will stop if she knows you will punish her even if her friends are around.

 

[Pooh Crew]

My 6 yr old son started this mess and I realized he was getting from a cartoon that he frequently watched. Needless to say, that cartoon is not allowed anymore. I swear I noticed an improvement almost immediately! With our oldest daughter, we told her the argueing and back talk had to stop and that each infraction would result in a fifteen minutes earlier bedtime. After the initial discussion, when she would get started, I would hold up my hand and say, "Fifteen minutes. Want to go for thirty?" I did not argue back, there was no additional discussion, and we ALWAYS stuck to the punishment. One night, she went to bed right after supper. It only took about a week.

As for the sibling fights, when mine start fussing, I send them all upstairs to clean the playroom or their rooms. I become the common enemy then, and the upstairs gets a much needed cleaning.