What do you do with hand me downs?

[KarenAylwood]

We have a LOT of hand me downs. I was given a ton of stuff from my SIL who just wanted it "gone" after her two kids grew up and now that DS is the youngest boy in our neighborhood we've gotten a TON of other hand me downs. Eventually when we're done having kids I'm going to want to purge everything. We're trying now so obviously it's a few years down the road but I was just thinking about decluttering and what I would get rid of if I could.

If you had gotten hand me downs from others - do you think it's unethical to sell those items? Some are large that I wouldn't plan on donating just due to having to move them (like a motorized John Deere gator, a trampoline, a drawing desk). Other items are just in good shape and I know I could get some money for them (bumbo, bouncer, etc). Eventually we'll have a yard sale. I'm not too worried/guilty about the stuff I got from SIL because I know her feeling on the subject but what about items from other people? Would you just donate to avoid the awkwardness? Sell and give them some of the money? Just sell them and leave it at that?

I'm just curious. I have no idea what I'd do at this point but the subject has crossed my mind a few times. We're not poor but I try to pinch pennies when I can and sell things when I can get some money for them.

 

[happily single]

If you remember who handed-down an item when I was done with it I would quickly contact them and say "Thank you soo much for use of the bouncer. I am done with it. Would you like it back" If the answer is no, then I would have no problem selling it or donating it

 

[lorijohnhill]

Here's how I see it: If I give you something that I no longer want/have use for the item then becomes yours. Once an item is yours, you can do what you wish with it.

If it is something I may want later, I either don't give it away, or I lend it to someone and let them know at that time that I'll want it back at some point.

 

[Eureka]

When my kids were little, I had a ton of hand me downs because DS#1 barely wore them before he outgrew them. I saved everything for DS#2 and didn't really have many hand me downs from relatives. When Ds#2 was done with everything, I'd sell stuff in lots on eBay and if there was something we'd been given, it went in with everything else to be sold. My relatives did not want them back. Now that Ds#2 is 13, I let him decide if it's stuff he will want to wear, as the boys have different tastes in clothing for some things. The basics I keep (jeans that are not too worn out, dress pants & shirts, etc) but I let him decide about the t shirts and then I donate the rest to our local soup kitchen.

 

[gardengalB4]

I would ask the person you got the items from....

One time I gave a friend some clothing for her family.
For whatever reason- she decided to try to sell it at the
garage sale I was having (I asked her if she would like to participate).
Wow-
I wish she hadn't done that!
It wouldn't have bothered me if she'd donated it
or took it to a garage sale elsewhere...

 

[bcwife76]

Here's how I see it: If I give you something that I no longer want/have use for the item then becomes yours. Once an item is yours, you can do what you wish with it.

If it is something I may want later, I either don't give it away, or I lend it to someone and let them know at that time that I'll want it back at some point.

This.

I've certainly received a few hand me downs over the years for my two girls. When I'm done with the stuff I usually donate it, pass it on (if I can) or there have been a few items I've sold on FB selling groups.

 

[Queeneileen]

For me selling at yard sales and E-Bay is too much work and not worth my time. I usually give to charities that pick up. I recently discover threadup.com You send the your brand name clothing in a prepaid bag and get money. The clothes have to be premium brands like Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein. I recently made $34. on 6 items. Not bad!

 

[strawberrymom2]

For me when I give someone something it is a gift and I actually hope they will sell it. However several people have strong emotional attachments especially for things their kids used. So I would ask if there is any chance of the people knowing or if you feel in any way uncomfortable. There are also places like swap where you can sell online or schoola where what you send in goes to your kids school.

 

[DisMommyTX]

When I hand down stuff to others, it is with the expectation that all items will be later sold or gifted forward. I suppose it is best to ask at some point, but as far as I am concerned, no returns! If you can make a few dollars off if it, more power to you!

 

[flateacher]

I agree with what others have said. I don't really expect the items back that I give to others - but I would ask just in case. Then you can be sure they don't care what you do with them.

I used to do garage sales but the money you make just isn't worth the amount of time and hassle. Instead "good" baby items I took to consignment. I made more there than at garage sales. Same with older kids clothes - consignment store. Other items we just donate and take the tax write off. Or if I knew of others that could use the items I would pass it on to them (if they wanted them).

 

[SunnieRN]

I donate them to a women's shelter near us.

 

[ldo]

I give 2 of my friends some really good stuff--like new little tykes climbers, LLBean boots, jackets, etc. I tell them to use them or do whatever they want with them. I have no use for them, am not inclined to ebay/sell them, and am happy if they can use them, or if not do "whatever" with them. For large items, I would also ask if they want them back. They likely do not. Then I would feel free to sell them.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I donate them to a women's shelter near us.

Many of those places will come and pick up as well. I donate stuff to a crisis pregnancy center. They will pick up, too.

 

[kathy884]

I personally think that once it's been given to you, you can do anything you want with it. I handed down the really really nice stuff to another family I knew. I sold Disney Halloween costumes that were in really good shape to a resale children's shop and they gave me about 60 percent of the retail price and said we will sell these with no problem - they will fly off our shelves. The other stuff -- some that we had used and some that we never used I donated to charity. In our tax bracket we are better off with the charity donations vs. selling something except in the situation like those Disney costumes that resale places give top dollar for. And in the giving the stuff to a friend, no that's not a deduction or not any money and no our friends were not financially strapped, but it was just fun to give the stuff to people we liked who would be just delighted and so excited about the stuff (a fun experience for me). People surprise and delight me and it's fund to do the same.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

When ds#2 was done with non-clothing baby items (swing, high chair, etc) we passed them on to our nieces. Many of these things were given to us so we did ask the original owners if they wanted anything back.
Some of the earlier, name brand clothes I sold at consignment stores and made around $50. I was donating to Purple Heart until dn had a boy when my youngest was 7. So now I send everything to her. I love seeing him in ds's old clothes.

 

[Cadiewampus]

GoodWill

 

[hsmamato2]

Here's how I see it: If I give you something that I no longer want/have use for the item then becomes yours. Once an item is yours, you can do what you wish with it.

If it is something I may want later, I either don't give it away, or I lend it to someone and let them know at that time that I'll want it back at some point.

I either give away or sell unwanted items. I hope others that I give things to do the same! Most of what we get on our house has always been 2nd hand anyway, either hand me downs or thrift shop stuff,it doesn't matter to me where it came from if we're done with it. Only caveat would be if someone lent me something,and specifically mentioned they;d like it back when we no longer use it(I've done with a couple of items,just asked that they not donate it to goodwill if they get tired of item, I'll take it back)Heck I've sold so much stuff over the years that I either got for free or so cheap to begin with it's ridiculous....

 

[Eastern]

A friend once asked if she could use my maternity clothing, and I said ok. I was very surprised when she saw me after her baby was born and told me that she gave it all away! I was upset, but in retrospect, I shouldn't have given her the items I didn't want back. Another time, a neighbor borrowed some hardcover books from me, and then sold them at a garage sale I was having (I guess this happens more than we think!) I was caught off-guard and didn't say anything because I was so surprised. I would probably ask the person before selling the stuff/passing it on. Maybe I would have felt better if I had been asked first.

 

[aprilchem]

I get a lot of hand-me-downs for my daughter from a friend; when I'm done with them I either pass them down or donate them.

I would make sure that whoever you got them from was giving them to you, not loaning them to you, though. We loaned our sidecar cosleeper to a friend when she had her baby, and then when I got pregnant with #3 we asked for it back (their kids were too old for it) and they'd sold it! We had told them we weren't done and would like it back after, but I guess we weren't clear enough about it. So we had to buy another one.

 

[mjkacmom]

I like to pay it forward. When I became unexpectedly pregnant with twins (#4 and #5), I was given so many hand me downs, including cribs (I had an almost 2 year old when they were born, still in a crib), dresser, changing table, bassinet, high chair, swing, strollers, clothing... When I was done with everything, I gave it all to others who needed it (personally, or to good will). I gave my double snap and go to a twin mom I met in a park.

However, I do think you are free to do what you want with it.