Wetting Accidents seem unavoidable....help!!!!!

sc4disney

Earning My Ears
Joined
Nov 16, 2009
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4
My 5 year grandaughter has a lot of trouble letting us know when she needs to go to the restroom. We are going to take all our grandkids to Disney next Spring and I do not want to constantly have to worry she is going to wet herself. Her twin brother has the same problem but it does not seem to be as bad. I have tried everything I can think of and I am just about at my wits end. I had to go and pick her up from school today because she had an accident during circle time. It seems she is either embarrassed to ask or she doesn't feel the need to make it urgent??? I just do not know what to do about it. I have had to pick her up at 6 times since the beginning of school because of accidents. The school will not even let her change clothes and stay because she gets so upset and they can't do anything for her. I wonder if I need to take her to her doctor to get to the bottom of things...Any suggestions??? Any advice would be appreciated....
 
Was she born premature? I would speak to the doctor. Maybe he can provide some kind of documentation, that would allow her to keep a change of clothes at school and have the nurse help her change. If she was born early, it's not uncommon to have some bladder issues...but I would check with the doctor just to keep him aware of the situation. Good luck.
 
Does she go to all day kindergarten? Or just part time?

Do you make sure that she goes before she leaves for school and then see if there is a way for someone to make sure that she goes during school?

You may have to "force" her to go every so often until she starts doing a little better. You could always put her back in pull-ups, but that sometimes has a negative effect.

Have you tried rewarding her for going x number of days without an accident? Maybe a special treat like a special "tea" party, a sticker book, etc.

Good luck!
 
I would take her to a pediatric urologist and her twin and be sure that everything is ok medically. It could be that she has a small, thick walled bladder that is causing unusual urges that she can't control and hits her like she should have been there yesterday (I totally understand if that is her issue) and she just can't make it.

What about putting some of those incontinence pads in her underwear so that if she does have an issue it catches it and she can then go and discretely change it. This way no one knows that she has had that problem, but I would definetly get her to a urologist asap.

My sister and I both have had issues with this that was a birth defect that did not show itself until around age 4 and older (and still fight it a bit today). It was only repaired by surgery and medication. Does she also seem to get UTI's frequently? Another sign of problems that need medical attention greater than just an anti-biotic to get rid of infection.
 

My dd6 also had this problem last year in Kindergarten. She would be constantly wetting herself or running to the bathroom and not making it. We did see a ped urologist to make sure everything is okay-- which it is. She recommended for DD to use the bathroom every 2 hours. Basically retrain her body to recognize the urge to go. It worked really well over the summer and at Disney -- no accidents. We did purchase a kids watch that had a timer so we would restart the timer every 2 hrs. It was really helpful at disney to make sure she went since we were on the go every minute of the day. FF to 1st grade. Teacher was very understanding- had her going a few times during the day but a month ago she started to have accidents again. Either at school or as soon as she got home. DH and I were out shopping at an outlet center and found a timex store. They had an adult women's watch that had mutiple alarm settings (3). It did fit- a little big but not too bad. I set it for 1030/1230/230. Since she began to wear it she has not had any accidents. The kids in her class started to pick on her a bit about the alarm. Every time it would ring the kids would say 'go use the bathroom'. I had a talk to them and so did the teacher and it has stopped. The teacher is very proud how well dd has handled it.

The dr wanted me to purchase a watch from the bedwetting store that vibrated instead of ring BUT it was over $65. I didn't want to spend that much plus it got bad reviews. The first watch was a timex from Targer for $14 but it was too difficult for her to reset the alarm each time. The 2nd timex watch was $29 and it is perfect.

We never did a follow up w/ the dr in Oct bc I had surgery and just didn't see the need to go back bc she has been doing really well.

Definitely put both of them on a schedule at home and incorporate it into disney. If you do a watch it gives them control over it in a way. The watch is saying use the bathroom not a parent (which at times I think was a power struggle w/ dd)

Good luck and hope this helps
 
The watch is saying use the bathroom not a parent (which at times I think was a power struggle w/ dd)

What a great idea! My DS4 has frequent problems with 'accidents'. I feel like I have to nag him all the time to go potty. We are now trying rewards for going by himself w/o being told. It works most days.

For OP, I'd make a point of taking frequent potty breaks and bring a few changes of pants and undies and plastic grocery bags for wet clothes.
 
Is it only a problem at school? I ask because my DS was doing that at school a couple years ago and we kept trying to figure out why and he finally told the teacher's assistant in his classroom that some other boys were looking under the door when he was going and he's very modest. They had another bathroom in their classroom, but the door didn't lock so he wasn't comfortable using it either. The teacher had a discussion with the class about it and after that it was no longer an issue and no more accidents.
 
Another recommendation for using a timer. My almost-5-year old has a Timex watch with a countdown timer on it that is set to go off every hour and a half. That seems to be the timeframe which he can manage without accidents. He gets upset if we ask him to go, but as long as it is his timer telling him, he's fine. Being "tied" to the timer is a pain, especially when traveling, but it's what DS needs to feel independent, so it is well worth it.
 
If they are premature it is very likely they have underdeveloped urinary systems. If this is the case they may grow out of it in a few years or they may need surgery to correct it. One of the girl's I used to work with has a daughter with the same problem and she had to wear pull ups at night at the age of 9. Your grandkids' pediatrician can recommend a specialist for them to see and evaluate what steps to take to correct the problem.
 
When my sister was potty training my niece, the only thing that worked was silk panties. They were hard to find that small, but they totally worked. My niece hated the feeling of the urine in her underwear because the silk stuck to her and felt awful. She did that for about a week and she was completely potty trained after that.

Besides medical issues that may arise, you just have to try everything. Good luck.
 
The timer is just a part of a bladder training program. You also need to regulate liquids and bowel habits because those can also be factors. I'd talk to a doctor about it before you try anything on your own.
 
Poor thing. I am sorry she gets so upset about it.

I am confused, is the school not willing to keep a change of clothes for her? It sounds like they are, but she is too upset then. Maybe they can have a set time where she has to go sit and try, every couple of hours. I also would just make sure she's okay with a doctor.

At Disney, when my DD first went, she was potty trained, but I was worried about being in a line and her needing to go. She was 2 1/2. I had her wear pullups during the day at Disney, and told her it was okay if she needed it and we were not close to a bathroom. She had still been wearing them at night, so she wasn't unfamiliar with them. She was actually mad at me at first, but then found it more of a comfort to know that she wouldn't need to run if she had to go right away. She did "use" them a few times towards the end of the trip. I was just so scared she'd have an accident on a ride or something!

I don't know, but maybe that will be an option for both twins. Just in case?
 
I want to comment on the school having your granddaughter taken home rather than changing her and sending her back to class. She should really take a quick shower after she has an accident. Urine can burn tender skin quickly.
 
We are going to take all our grandkids to Disney next Spring and I do not want to constantly have to worry she is going to wet herself.

Next spring is a while away. Could be over it by then.

What worked for me when my kids were at that stage and we had to go out. I had a rule that no one leaves the house/room or rides the car until they've gone to the bathroom even if they don't feel like it. Just sit and try. Then I'd say "Me first!" and usually my kid would then run to the bathroom to beat me.

When we are outside I'd keep track -- if they had a meal/drink or it was just about 2 hours since the last potty break, I would say. "I have to go to the potty. Come on." When we get to the potty invariably they would go if they saw I was going.
 
I think she should see a doc just to rule out real problems.

If it's a matter of not realizing quickly enough to make it to the bathroom on time, you could try using menstrual pads. They will catch a minor amount and allow her to get to the bathroom and discreetly clean up, keeping her clothes dry. They can be folded down and kept in a pocket, too.

If she's losing a full bladder, then I think a pull-up or equivalent is your only real choice.
 
Another thing to consider is if the wetting accididents have only been going on for a short period of time recently, she could possibly have a urinary tract infection. But based on what you have described, it appears to have been going on for a while now.
 
The twins were born almost two months premature and she does have frequent UTI's...the Dr. puts her on antibiotics most of the time to cure the infections. I have made an appointment for her but the soonest they can see her is the second week in December...

Both Twins do have the same problem but she is worse than him. They have had very stressful lives so far and I just wonder if some of it is emotional??? Has anyone expeerienced it throught the emotional side???

I would hope we could find a solution to this problem before we go to Disney in the spring but I have considered using pull ups for her...Does anyone think this is a bad idea???
 
I think she would feel like she was put back into diapers (I know I would). That might be worse for her. I would buy some of those incontinent pads (such as Poise) to place in her underwear where only you and she knows its there.
 
If you haven't done so, try the timer. I know with my dd she would get busy doing something and when she realized she had to go it was just too late. Having that reminder really does help!
 
If the accidents are more then something like a "pad" could handle, then I think the pullups are a good idea. Several years ago my former stepson was a lot like your granddaughter (and also was born premature). He had constant accidents, no matter what we tried. Unfortunately, these weren't "little" accidents either, they were usually enough to soak his underwear, if not get his pants wet, too.

The last trip I took to the MK with him he was 6 years old and we had him in a pullup while there. We told him it wasn't a punishment but that he was going to wear them as a backup, "just in case" Honestly, he never once complained about wearing them, and it saved us twice or three times that day. We still took him to the potty regularly, and he stayed accident free for the most part, but there were a couple times he either got caught up in the excitement of things and forgot to go and I was glad he had the pullup on! I think once was during a show or ride and the other time was while we were on a ferry back from the MK, and even though he had just gone 10 minutes earlier, he had to go right that second. In either situation, I think if he had wet his pants, the seat, etc., he would have been more embarassed. The pullup kept it so noone knew and then he could easily change out of it.
 














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