Well, I took it as a compliment!!

[always quiet]

I went to my youngest DD's conference this morning (Jessica is 9). Jessica is a very caring, kind and sensitive child. During the conference, her teacher says to me "Please don't take this the wrong way. Jessica is kind of old fashioned. She's an 'old soul' ". I DO take this as a compliment and have, myself, described her that way. When I got home, I called my sister and we were discussing the conference. I happily tell her what the teacher said about my daughter. To my shock, my sister DOESN'T view this as something nice!! She tells me that Jessica acts this way because "she is being raised like her mother" (meaning me!! ) She should be around other kids more!! Then she would act "normal".

I should explain something here.....my parents were older when they had me. They had already raised 3 kids who were all grown and married when I arrived. Even though I was born in the 60's, I was raised more like kids were in the 40's or 50's. (Guess I was born 'out of time' ) I see nothing wrong with the way my DD acts. She has always acted this way, even when she was only a toddler. It is who she is. I have treated all 3 of my kids the same and they all have 3 very different and distinct personalities. Jessie is the way she is....she was born that way.
I don't understand how this can be a bad thing!!

Thanks for listening. I guess I am just stunned to think that someone could think old fashioned qualities are a bad thing!

 

[DoeWDW]

I would take it as a compliment! Kids today seem to grow up too fast!

My 14 yo DD and 15 yo DS still like to watch Disney channel movies instead of MTV. They know their friends are all into stuff that is more sexual in nature and that their peers use swear words, smoke, use drugs and drink, but they have no interest in that stuff. They seem like they are interested in stuff that kids a few years younger would be interested in. I'm perfectly happy to let them grow up slower and in their own time.

 

[Poohnatic]

I'd be happy with that assesment, too.

Just think, she could be a 'mini Britney' or "mini Christina'...take pride in the unique person your daughter is. It sounds to me like she's comfortable being just who she is! Kudos for having an 'old soul'.

I was also raised in the '60's, with mom being very liberal with me (number 7 of 8). I'm pretty tough on some things with my kids and my youngest sister is the toughest on her kids. Most of these kids that I shake my head at have parents our age!!

Suzanne

 

[disykat]

As long as she socializes well, I would take it as a compliment too. In my experience, kids are actually drawn to people like that.

 

[always quiet]

Jessica has a number of friends and seems to socialize very well. She does tend to be a 'mother hen' and I remember in first grade, she would spend so much time helping fellow class mates finish their work, that hers didn't always get done!! The teacher and I talked about it and we had to set ground rules for Jess NOT to help others! The teacher had called me one day after school....Jessie was completely heartbroken that she wasn't allowed to help that she broke down and cried!! Only after SHE was finsihed was she allowed to help the other students.

 

[4greatboys]

Kids are the way kids are. You can give them guidance but they each will be who they are. I have 4 kiddo and each boy is different from the next.
Whats wrong with your sister?? If your dd is kind and caring so what if she doesnt act like a lot of the kids her age. And whats wrong with acting like "her mother" according to your sis??
I have a good friend whose dh (d does not mean dear in this case) who is very upset his ds doesnt want to go fishing with him The boy just doesnt care to fish, it should be no big deal but this guy has idea's of what his ds should be like and should like and the ds is not like that--but is a good kid.
I would take what your dd said as a compliment also.

 

[Robinrs]

My son has been called an "old soul" all of his life. Just yesterday his teacher told the class to "listen to him" because he "thinks like an adult"...

I'm not surprised, my son is an only child with a single parent. I've been talking to him like a peer all of his life. He is very comfortable with adults and always has been. The problem is with some kids, he finds them way to immature and prefers to stay away from them.

I see nothing wrong with it as long as they socialize well. I'm still working on that with Michael, as I said, he prefers the company of adults and females mainly, I think, because of me.

 

[Kim&Chris]

I would definitely take it as a compliment.

I, too, was considered an "old soul" as a kid, and I am very happy with it. I was the oldest of four girls, and grew up very quickly in order to help with the babies.

I'm sure your daughter will grow up to be a confident, moral, well-adjusted "soul" with lots of friends. Like the previous poster said, she could be a mini Britney or mini Christina....ugh. Too many of those kinds of kids already.

Don't let anyone's comments bother you. Most people make negative comments out of envy. Your daughter sounds like a sweetheart.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

It sounds as though you have a very special young lady. Count your blessings and definately take her teachers words as a compliment!

Could your sister be jealous?

 

[KathyFP]

Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with your DD. Keep up the good work!

DD sounds like a lovely child that everyone would want their child to play with.

 

[my3kids]

I bet your 9 yo and my 9 yo would be best of friends! Thank heavens for the kids not trying to be more grown up than they are. Thank heavens for kids having a nurturing instead of a competitive instinct. Thank heavens for smocked Sunday dresses instead of bare midriff shirts! I'm old fashioned and I'm proud of it! I'm so glad my DD is sensible too!

 

[goofygirl]

Hi AQ, your sis sounds a little jealous to me!

Like you, my BF was born in the 60's to older WWII era parents. He has "old fashioned values" because of them, and I think its great. He also has learned from them things that a lot of "Gen Xers" tend not to know (things about the 1940's and WWII, etc)

I was also "older" than my years as a kid. While my peers were interested in Barbie and pre-teen stuff, I was more into world affairs and was a news addict! I just found the real world of politics more fascinating that silly stuff like dolls and teen fashion magazines.

Nothing is wrong with that, its just different!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Hey, does your sister have kids?

I too would be a tiny bit miffed at such comments. It sounds like it was very negative towards your daughter, AND you as well !!!

I know that I have one sister who has very different ideas about raising her kids than I have with my DS.... This kind of comment or 'issue' is all to familiar with me! (She is also quick to point out how she may disagree with how others parent.... It is almost like she is trying to Justify her own questionable actions???)

It seems that parenting is a very personal and emotional issue. Every one is doing the best that they can, and feeling that they are doing it 'right'. There are just as many 'right' ways to parent as there are kids in this world!!!! And, as mentioned, they all come to us with their own very individual personalities and traits!!!

What is definately NOT right is making negative comments to a proud and happy parent!

So, accept this all as a complement!!! And, let what your sister said roll like water off a ducks back!!!

 

[honeywolf7]

I was raised by parents born in 1935 and 1941 (I was born in 1976) and I was an only child (basically....my father had four children from his first marriage but I was the only one whose life he was involved in). I, too, tended to be interested in more mature subjects (news, etc.) than other kids my age. Personally, I think it caused me to do better in school and to behave better than most of my peers.

 

[always quiet]

My sister was married and already had 1 child when I arrived in 1964!! She has 6 children total. They range in age from 40 - 26. She has 13 grandchildren - ages 16 - 5. My kids are in the age bracket of her grandchildren. Her grandkids act along the 'way too mature' line, shall we say? She raised her own children with more freedom than I was given (not saying this is a good thing!!) She would allow her teenage DD to go away with boys on trips...something that there is no way on God's green Earth that I can ever allow any of my kids to do (we're talking 15 - 16 years old). It was no uncommon to wonder if her DD's were all dated vampires, if you know what I mean!!

Maybe part of her attitude comes from the fact that SHE was the baby in the family for 22 years before I came along. At a time in life when she would of expected her parents to be doting on HER children, they were busy raising me! I don't know. All I know is that I am happy with my kids!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

___________________________________
Quote:

All I know is that I am happy with my kids!!!

___________________________________


And, THAT is the only thing that matters!!!

 

[tigercat]

My dgrdd is an "old soul" She has been that way since the day she was born. I don't understand how it is considered bad. To me it says that she is wise. Maybe there is a prejudice against old? She is just a very wise person who really relates to adults. We have put her in school this year (we were homeschooling her) and all the teachers in her school love her. The students in her group all do really well and she seems to calm the class clowns down. The teacher moves her from group to group, and the group she is in is the one working quietly and quickly. She also helps others but then she gets the work done so quickly that it gives her something to do while she waits for others to finish.
tigercat