Weddings Sure Have Changed..

prairie_girl

Thinking about pennies...
Joined
Jul 26, 2016
popcorn::Oh good Lord - I find this fascinating in a horrifying sort of way. Never in a million years would I spend three days captive at a wedding. What will MOB-zilla do if people don't accept the invitation to all three days? Are you and all your family members invited/expected to attend?

Back in the day, rehearsal dinners were for the couple, parents and siblings, wedding party, and out of town guests. I am so glad that my daughter is low maintenance and would NEVER want all this fuss. I am very confident in saying never, too.
 

ronandannette

I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!
Joined
May 4, 2006
Back in the day, rehearsal dinners were for the couple, parents and siblings, wedding party, and out of town guests. I am so glad that my daughter is low maintenance and would NEVER want all this fuss. I am very confident in saying never, too.
:laughing: Classic DIS "regional thing". I don't know one single couple, past-or-present, that has had that sort of rehearsal dinner. If anything, here they are basically pizza and beer right at the venue for anybody actually at the rehearsal or helping set up the night before.
 

prairie_girl

Thinking about pennies...
Joined
Jul 26, 2016
:laughing: Classic DIS "regional thing". I don't know one single couple, past-or-present, that has had that sort of rehearsal dinner. If anything, here they are basically pizza and beer right at the venue for anybody actually at the rehearsal or helping set up the night before.
Yours would be much better lol
 

Boopuff

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 27, 2015
I also don’t get the half-hour long slide show/video of the baby pics of the couple, teen years, interviews with every-single-family-friends and it must have: really bad audio, loads of inside jokes, embarrassing stories…. I tube out at the first baby pic… where’s the open bar… crap it’s cash only! Who the heck has cash!??
 

Karin1984

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 5, 2012
Glad I considered my husband my equal and capable of an opinion at his own wedding. But really this is not really on the topic of the PP's post so I'll leave it at that.
Were you at your wedding already fully equal for family members, as in they considered your husband their son/brother?

For most couples this takes time, and usually there always stays some form of inequalty because your family knows you a lifetime longer than your husband.

I would also say the bride is the one to brings up the topic when they (bride & groom) discuss it. To avoid the husband coming across as trying to divide the family/isolating the bride. Because the bride knows her family better, she has to bring it up in my opinion. It might even be good to her, because her mother probably acts this way, because the bride never spoke up. Or has given up.
 
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Mackenzie Click-Mickelson

Chugging along the path of life
Joined
Oct 23, 2015
Were at your wedding already fully equal for family members, as in they considered your husband their son/brother?

For most couples this takes time, and usually there always stays some form of inequalty because your family knows you a lifetime longer than your husband.

I would also say the bride is the one to brings up the topic when they discuss it. To avoid the husband coming across as trying to divide the family/isolating the bride. Because the bride kmows her family better, she has to bring it up in my opinion. It might even be good to her, because her mother probably acts this way, because the bride never spoke up. Or has given up.
If this comes up again on a different thread I'll totally go more in-depth :) For this thread though letting it lie to move on in some other discussion :flower3:
 

Hisgirl

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 8, 2011
So here's something new that has come up! (I have two weddings being planned in our family.)

Awkwardly finding a way to get all the old folks to clear out so the younger wedding party and friends can party without all us old folks dragging down the party.

Yep, we've all been asked to leave by 8:30pm. ::yes::
 
  • TwoMisfits

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 21, 2002
    So here's something new that has come up! (I have two weddings being planned in our family.)

    Awkwardly finding a way to get all the old folks to clear out so the younger wedding party and friends can party without all us old folks dragging down the party.

    Yep, we've all been asked to leave by 8:30pm. ::yes::
    Isn't that just someone schedules an after party after the wedding - I've never heard of folks being forced out during a reception...you just schedule a shorter reception and then book a separate room for an afterparty...
     

    HopperFan

    "It's a bug-eat-bug world out there, princess."
    Joined
    Sep 6, 2003
    Back in the day, rehearsal dinners were for the couple, parents and siblings, wedding party, and out of town guests. I am so glad that my daughter is low maintenance and would NEVER want all this fuss. I am very confident in saying never, too.
    Out of town guests have never been a part of the Rehearsal Dinner in our 40+ years of weddings. Not that there hasn't been some weird invites to them. We were invited to one where it was a local wedding on a holiday night - which made no sense. In our "circle/region" those invited were wedding Party with S/O, parents, grandparents and siblings. DD got married last year and I was very happy her MIL and I were on the same page with this one.


    So here's something new that has come up! (I have two weddings being planned in our family.)

    Awkwardly finding a way to get all the old folks to clear out so the younger wedding party and friends can party without all us old folks dragging down the party.

    Yep, we've all been asked to leave by 8:30pm. ::yes::
    Funny. With DD she only had one set of grandparents there, an older great uncle and most of the "older" folks were laid back. Once the grandparents left the dance music play list TOTALLY changed.

    Had one uncle aka music police run up to me in his readers and his cell phone open saying "do you know what the lyrics are for this song" .... I just wanted to say "dude, you got old fast" ... but I just said "I don't listen to lyrics, it's their wedding and it's good dance music" .... aka then go home.

    :dancer:
     

    prairie_girl

    Thinking about pennies...
    Joined
    Jul 26, 2016
    So here's something new that has come up! (I have two weddings being planned in our family.)

    Awkwardly finding a way to get all the old folks to clear out so the younger wedding party and friends can party without all us old folks dragging down the party.

    Yep, we've all been asked to leave by 8:30pm. ::yes::
    OMG how rude!! Sounds like they want your gift and then you get the old heave ho.

    Around here, the reception just happens and if it’s too much for older guests, they’ll excuse themselves on their own. Either that, or the DJ throws in some waltzes for the older couples so that they can get up and dance too.
     

    Mackenzie Click-Mickelson

    Chugging along the path of life
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    Isn't that just someone schedules an after party after the wedding - I've never heard of folks being forced out during a reception...you just schedule a shorter reception and then book a separate room for an afterparty...
    My first thought was an after party.

    FWIW I'm in my 30s and it's a hard no for after parties...so I don't feel like the OP needs to view it as just old folks.

    Last Friday we went over to my father-in-law's place to sample so hard liquor cocktails from his subscription "box" he has. Small amounts in each sampling but it was like 8pm and all us in our early to almost mid-30s were like...uhhh we need to get this started soon if we're going to do this :rotfl:. In the past at my husband's work holiday parties some of the hardcore people staying til 1-3am were 50s,60+ year olds. My tired self was ready to get home.
     
  • Mackenzie Click-Mickelson

    Chugging along the path of life
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    Yep, we've all been asked to leave by 8:30pm. ::yes::
    Are you actually being asked to leave? Or is the reception listed as ending at 8:30pm? You don't need to view it as rude or presumptuous or that they are only interested in your gift or that it's just for the old folks to heave ho out of there. Sometimes people read too much into things.

    Aside from an after party is it possible the venue either doesn't allow late bookings (or there's a reason that particular evening they don't), it's too expensive to rent past a certain time or a certain amount of hours or some other thing. When we had our wedding I believe it included 4 hours worth and you paid by the half hour or the hour (different rates depending on what you wanted) for any time after that. Our particular venue, well really the location being Downtown, they required an off-duty police officer for security which was also a charge by the hour with a 3 hour minimum.

    I will say however usually when I see an after party where that occurs is at a different location but it wasn't listed in your comment the details of that.
     

    DisneyHardin

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 20, 2010
    Goodness - I can't imagine a rehearsal dinner with 75-150 people. Ours was just our wedding party and spouses, my Grandma and one our of town guest who was staying with someone in the bridal party. I think it was about 18 people total. My MIL was grumpy that I asked to include that one out of town guest and finally told her I would pay for his part myself (they did end up paying, but I was prepared to)
     

    lifesavacation

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 24, 2016
    Goodness - I can't imagine a rehearsal dinner with 75-150 people. Ours was just our wedding party and spouses, my Grandma and one our of town guest who was staying with someone in the bridal party. I think it was about 18 people total. My MIL was grumpy that I asked to include that one out of town guest and finally told her I would pay for his part myself (they did end up paying, but I was prepared to)
    I really felt like 150 was fairly generous and was pretty caught off guard when the bride's mother was offended.
     

    RedAngie

    Cole Slaw Cougar
    Joined
    Sep 10, 2015
    So here's something new that has come up! (I have two weddings being planned in our family.)

    Awkwardly finding a way to get all the old folks to clear out so the younger wedding party and friends can party without all us old folks dragging down the party.

    Yep, we've all been asked to leave by 8:30pm. ::yes::
    Simple, us old folks can RSVP no and not send a gift. That’s probably what I’d do if informed I need to scram by 830.
     

    RedAngie

    Cole Slaw Cougar
    Joined
    Sep 10, 2015
    Holy smokes!! 75 max for the rehearsal dinner is limiting the attendance???

    That’s bigger than many receptions. Do all those people expect to be invited to the RD?
     

    RedAngie

    Cole Slaw Cougar
    Joined
    Sep 10, 2015
    The best wedding I’ve “attended” in ages, from a discreet distance, of course.

    605629

    Rehoboth Beach, DE. Soon before sunset. There were about a dozen guests out of camera range while the photographer took this shot of the couple and their parents.
     


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