Wedding Invitation Question ?

[IloveDMB]

I'll try to make this as short as possible:

My manager at the restaurant I work at is getting married to the head chef. I am the assistant manager, so we all work closely together. Many times last summer we had conversations about her upcoming wedding. At times, she would ask me who I was going to bring as my guest because I did not have a steady significant other in my life.

Well, today I come home from class and the wedding invitation is here. One the front it says my name. And that's it. Not my name and guest. I'm a little surprised.

Now I don't know what to do. Our mutual friends that were invited all have husbands or fiances. Am I to believe that I am not invited with a guest after all those times that she mentioned the guest thing to me?

Now, is this rude to bring up to her? Because I had casually mentioned to someone about going to the wedding with me. And it seems weird to me that at 22, I would be invited without a date to a wedding.

Any suggestions, please?

 

[joats]

If only your name is on the envelope that holds the invite contents, then yup, you were invited without a guest.

I'm afraid I don't have any advice to give. Before my DH and I got engaged he was invited to 2 weddings without me. I was annoyed, but what could I really do about it?

People have different budgets to spend on their weddings and I think that's one place you can cut back if need be. If you aren't "seriously" dating anyone, I'm not surprised you didn't get an "and guest". It stinks though, doesn't it!! Especially because she talked to you about bringing one.

 

[Growin'upDisney]

Etiqutte says they should have put "& Guest" on the inside envelope - not the outer address envelope. But MANY MANY peopld don't follow proper etiqutte rules - I have lots of funny stories - maybe I'll save them for another post.

Best thing to do would be to politely ask if you are able to bring a guest based on your previous conversations. She shouldn't get offended - there may be a mix up or some other explanation. If you don't want to ask, then based on her previous talks I would respond back that 2 people are attending.

 

[jel0511]

I have to agree that you're invited without a guest. I also have to agree that if the total number of guests is out of hand, usually the first to get cut is guest of single people who aren't seriously involved. If you're seeing someone now and want to bring them, don't feel bad asking, but ask in a way that you'll COMPLETELY understand if you can't bring them. If you're not seeing anyone, then just go alone, IMO. Weddings can be expensive up to and over $100 per person, and asking the bride and groom to pay $100 for someone they don't know, just so you'll "be with" someone isn't very PC.

 

[Kallison]

I would just go it alone and suck it up. Maybe if she sees you are coming alone she'll mention it to you. We had guests who didn't show up, who said we are bringing our daughter and son-in-law. All from my Dh's side of the family I might add .

 

[Ranatra]

I don't think you should be expected to attend a wedding alone without a date. Since she DID mention it to you, I would come right out and ask her if she's changed her mind about you bringing a guest.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Throw PCness out the window. If you have a good enough relationship with your co-workers, go ahead and ask! Be ready to accept the answer either way.... and move on.

Rules of etiquette aside, I see no reason why this one could not be calmly discussed.

 

[mommytotwo]

She may have mentioned to you to bring a guest before, but if it is not written on the envelope, then you are the only one being invited.
If you feel really close to her and think that she won't get offened by asking her if you can bring a guest, then you can do so, but just remember that it is hard for certain people to say no I'm sorry you may not bring a guest, so she may just give in when she wasn't expecting to people attending from your party.

 

[IloveDMB]

Originally posted by Growin'upDisney
Etiqutte says they should have put "& Guest" on the inside envelope - not the outer address envelope. But MANY MANY peopld don't follow proper etiqutte rules - I have lots of funny stories - maybe I'll save them for another post.

Thanks for the suggestion. I never would have looked there if you hadn't mentioned it. And right there it said my name and guest.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I really had no idea what to do in the situation.

 

[Growin'upDisney]

Whew!! glad to hear that turned out well!!

 

[stitchthealmighty]

Bring a guest anyway. Ask first, do second.

 

[lilboo]

Originally posted by IloveDMB
Thanks for the suggestion. I never would have looked there if you hadn't mentioned it. And right there it said my name and guest.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I really had no idea what to do in the situation.

Glad it worked out, too.

And if you're not seriously dating the guest you were planning to bring...you might even consider going alone...never know who you'll meet there.

 

[ebaynut31]

I can tell you how I handle it because I am not seeing anyone. I respond yes and one of my friends/coworkers that was invited with a guest responds yes with no guest. We go together and have a great time. Many times you have a friend's s/o that really doesn't want to go anyway.

Works for us.

 

[believe]

She may have not meant it the way it is. Not everyone is up on the etiquette thing. I know I didn't address my invitations according to etiquette...I didn't realize there was a specific way to address them. I would just ask or she may ask you once she knows you received the invitation.

 

[PamOKW]

Glad it worked out and that GrownUp Disney reminded you to look at the inside envelope. Technically, the real etiquette is that they should not say "and Guest" but should have the actual name of the person who will be attending with you since that person would be known to either the bride or groom....but that's not likely to happen in this day and age!