Weaning a 14 month old???

[WDWorBUST]

Hello all!!! I am having trouble weaning my DD. I think there are two reasons....1.) I'm not ready and 2.) She's not ready I know it is time though and more importantly I need to get her weaned so I can get treated for an illness. We have cut out the as soon as I get home from work nursing session. All that is left is going to sleep at night, during the night, and first thing in the morning. Does anyone have any advice? She sleeps with us so I love cuddling up with her at night but I know it will probably be best to get her in her crib at this point too....but I know it will be so hard. Help??

 

[Bird-Mom]

I only have a minute right now, but I wanted to suggest that if you are going to be taking medication, have you checked with a LLL leader about possible substitutes if the med is not compatible with breastfeeding? Oftentimes, the docs will just say to stop, but there are substitutes or maybe the drug is one of those with little risk. It is also very possible to co-sleep and not nurse (as evidenced by my 2.75 year old who still sleeps with us and who we night weaned at 20 months). There is an article by Dr. Jay Gordon about how to nightwean and the family bed. I can't find the link now, but a google search should find it. If not, I will find it for you. Gotta go nurse my little princess down for a nap and she is letting me know that she is ready now! Good luck!

 

[Kermit]

Congratulations for nursing this long! You are obviously dedicated to providing the best for her. Are you sure that you need to wean to be treated? I agree that you should call a LLL Leader or a Laction Consultant right away. Have ready the name of the medication(s) your doctor wants you to take, and if you have it, any other possible meds that could be used. They have resources that will help you make an informed decision about if the med is compatible with breastfeeding. Remember, you can take a lot of things now that you couldn't when she was a baby. She's taking in less breastmilk, and she's big enough to process things she couldn't before.

Having said all that, if you decide to wean, the best way to do it is gently and with love. Most people recommend cutting out one nursing session at a time. After a few weeks, when she's had time to get used to that, cut out one more. Start with the one she's least attached to. Do you think that your DH could put her to sleep? That could help you cut out that one. Additionally, your DH could sleep with her and you could sleep in another room for a while to try to cut out night nursing. As for the first morning nursing, I'd try to have something there to distract her as she wakes up. You might want to try getting right out of bed, having fun foods for breakfast (that you prepared the night before so that it doesn't take much time), or just some snuggling and a story.

Good luck!

 

[goofyandmore]

Wow, you have received some great responses so far. I just wanted to say that I agree that doctors often jump to the "quit breastfeeding now" when there may be alternatives. I experienced that myself but I went with my gut. Leche League can be reached at 1800LaLeche. They are wonderful. Also, as the previous poster said there are lactation consultants as well as doctors that specialize in it. My sister who lives in NY city, recently had a lactation doctor actually come to her home for a visit and solved all her problems with breastfeeding.

If there is no alternative and you can't breastfeed while you are having treatments, can you perhaps return to breastfeeding afterwards?

Lastly, if you have to stop the breastfeeding altogether, I agree with the poster that gradually and with love is the best. You obviously love your daughter very much. By the way, I do believe that there is no big deal with young children sleeping with their parents.

Always go with your instinct. I tend to think that it is God talking to us. Carolyn

 

[DisneyPhD]

I can't really help since I nursed DD#1 until she was 27 months old, but let me tell you my story. It dwindled like yours did and for the last year it was basicly morning and night, nap or emgerncies. Then it was just moring or night for a while (past 18 months or so the "rule" was she had to have her P.J's on.) I was wondering, when is this ever going to stop? I didn't mind at all, but had it in my head that 2 was the magic date to stop. She didn't.

Well after a while, I noticed that she wasn't nursing for long, then I asked if she got any milk and she said no. Later when she asked I reminded her mommy was all out of milk. I told her we could cuddle instead. She accepted this fine. I was worried how to end it since I didn't want to stop while she still wanted to nurse. Turns out I didn't have to worry, my body took care of it. The best thing was no engourgment.

I would have to agree with Bird-Mom, if you don't want to stop yet, see if you don't have too. When my Dr. wanted me to ween for a med I told him it wasn't an option (but the medicaion was optional, sometimes it isn't).

Good luck with everything and to you for nursing past a year. I am sorry your Dr. wants you to ween when it is still working for you two. Maybe he doesn't know how important it is to you, society seems to look strange on nursing past 1 year. It is really too bad.

 

[Purrrrfecta]

I am still breastfeeding as well! My daughter just turned 19 months. I agree that withdrawing gradually is the answer. I am only down right before bed feedings with her. She would try to breastfeed when I was on the computer watching television, and she still does at times, but I just say, "only for nighty nights."

My doctor practically made me feel like I was insane for still breastfeeding. I am supposed to have a mammogram so I said that I would stop at around two so I can finally have one.

Do what ever YOU think is best.

 

[justhat]

I tried to night wean my daughter several times unsuccessfully so I'm not sure how helpful I will be. She is much younger though, only 10 months now, so I'm sure that's part of the problem. I just really need some sleep!! I read a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution and it suggests gradually shortening nighttime nursing sessions until they are completely eliminated. I haven't tried it yet but I have noticed that recently my daughter has been nursing for shorter periods at night on her own so I'm hoping maybe it will work. I'm waiting till her ear infection is gone to really try it out though. The night sessions are the hardest I think because she's so used to just rolling over to get a snack and then going back to sleep (our daughter sleeps with us too).

At the advice of the pediatrician, I gave my daughter water during the night instead of nursing her. That failed immediately so I haven't tried it again. My SIL's pediatrician told her to give her 16mo son skim milk instead of whole milk at night to gradually get him off the nighttime bottle. She also hasn't had any luck yet.

Good luck with the weaning and treating your health issues. It's great that you've nursed her this long despite needing medication. My cousin has lupus and was off her medication almost 2 years including pregnancy and breastfeeding and it was rough. Her daughter is now 13 months and is weaning so she can get back to her meds. I also plan to wean around 14 months as I have to to go back to school and would love to have my daughter sleeping through the night then and I don't think that will happen as long as she's nursing.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Thank you so much ladies!! In so many ways I feel alone. The medication I am taking is an L2 drug according to Hales. However - my endo felt comfortable with me taking it but that Sammi's thyroid levels should be monitored. Sammi's doctor was totally against it and did further research and could not in good conscience recommend the drug with what information we do have. I wasn't and I'm still not comfortable with the idea of taking something that could potentially cause her a problem. I found out I had an overactive thryoid in July. Since then I have been taking something to control my heartrate and bloodpressure - which an accelerated heartrate and high blood pressure are a result of my thryoid going nuts. The concern is to how hard is this on my heart and what could be the future problems associated with it. I was just stubborn until she was a year old. Now it's emotional - for her and me. But I have really thought about it. And I am proud I made it this long - especially since I went back to work full-time when she was 8 weeks old and pumped for 10 months. And I'm so sad to see it end. But I would rather wean her now and get me taken care of than to have a heart attack in my 30's and not see her grow up. But it is just so hard. Thank you for all the responses and I will try and take it slow - but I really need to get her completely weaned as quickly as I possibly can - I've been delaying it so long already. I go back to the endo on 1/31 - do you think I can have her weaned by then?

 

[DisneyPhD]

I have heard of some thriod problems being taken care of in homopathic ways, but I don't really know the details. It looks like you have put this off as long as you can.

The advice I was given is to take a trip for the weekend or so and have grandparents or someone else wacth the baby. I never wanted to with my 1st child. I am almost planning the trip now for my 2nd (not that I plan to ween for a long time, but I could really use at least ONE good nights sleep sometime, it is nice to dream about it.)

I will tell you this. I was really concerned about lossing that very specail contection you have with a baby/child when nursing. I now know that it continues as your child grows, it just becomes a differnt kind of conection.

 

[GEM]

I don't really have too much advice, since I'm still nursing my 20 month old with no plans to wean any time soon. However, it sounds like you have done your research and made the best decision for you and your family at this time. You might want to try the messageboards at www.breastfeeding.com. You can find them under the "community" section. They have a board called "Weaning With Love" that might have some good suggestions for you. Good luck!

 

[goofyandmore]

You are right that you have to take care of your health. I congratulate you for sticking it out.Have you obtained a second or third opinion from anther endo? I would also get in touch with a cardiologist since this is a concern. Lastly,please contact le leche because they also have doctors who can help you in various ways. I remember when I was in the hospital after delivering my youngest child and the C-section was botched. (doctor cut my bladder the whole way, bowel, etc instead of uteros) I had lost so much blood that my hemoglobin went down to a 4 from a 14. They thought I was going to have a stroke. One of the medicines the doctor was giving me ended up not be good for the baby (I had to ask what he was giving me and then ask the pediatrician). But they were able to change to a different medication. You probably already checked this but maybe just maybe another doctor might suggest a different drug.

Even if you have to stop breastfeeding, I am wondering if you can go back to it after it if you are allowed to stop the drug in the future. I know my sister only had to take her thyroid med. temporarily. If you pump your breastmilk even if you aren't breastfeeding then maybe it will still be there later on.

This may sound strange but I have 3 kids, ages 15, 11, and 7. I breastfed all of them until they naturally stopped on their own which was about 3 years or a little more. Now, I haven't breastfed for about 4 years and recently I was holding my sister's newborn calming her down from crying and my breastmilk came out. I was surprised too.

So, what I am saying is if you might want to go back to it, even if it is a ways off, you might be able to. But please try the second or third opinion unless you already have. Good luck and God Bless you, Carolyn