The HoJo will be similar to an All Star as far as room size and amenities. But you won't have that fun theming, several pools and Disney customer service (that is cm's who can help you with Disney dining reservations, ticket upgrades and things like that). That said, the HoJo which is the only one I have stayed at on your list is a fine place to stay. Its about a 10-15 minute walk from the gate, has two nice pools, kiddie pool/spray jets and some pretty landscaping. But bear in mind, its an older motel not a resort. But the rooms are clean, the staff is nice and its so convenient.
I have heard wonderful things about the Sheraton, its a notch above the HoJo and looks really nice. Its more of a full service hotel. It also has its own dedicated shuttle to
Disneyland.
The Candy Cane is another thing I have heard only good things about. It also has its own dedicated shuttle.
As far as dining, Disneyland is more expensive for meals (Southern California thing) but they have some really nice counter service places. For full service in Disneyland, I love the Carnation Cafe which is right on Main Street. You sit outside, its a nice setting, and the prices aren't much more than cs except that you have a tip. Blue Bayou is great, right inside the Pirates ride and really a themed atmosphere. The only thing I know at WDW that comes close to that theming is San Angel Inn. Same kind of riverside setting. Disneyland has some nice character meals in the three hotels, if you go to the top of this page right under the heading (in brown I think) you can click on Dining (or any of the other small headings under the main Dis heading) for information on the character meals. There are also two character meals in the parks, a Minnie and Friends Breakfast in Disneyland (at the Plaza Inn which turns into cs for lunch and dinner) and Ariel's at DCA which has a princess lunch and dinner just like the format they have at Askershus in Norway at Epcot. Again, all of this can be researched in detail by clicking on those links up top. DTD is right there too and there are many nice options, including Rainforest Cafe, Tortilla Joes, Naples, Ralph Brennans and several others. DTD in Disneyland is smaller but I like it better. They have lots of nice entertainment and restaurants all steps from the parks. Offsite we like Mimi's which is right on Harbor (next to the HoJo). Huge portions, pretty atmopshere and great prices. If you stay at the HoJo in particular Mimi's is great and very convenient. Good luck with all of your planning!
P.S. Forgot to mention that the Plaza Inn in Disneyland has a birthday party. Each person gets to make their own little birthday cake and Minnie and Mickey make a brief appearance (just for photos, no autographs). Its very cute, they have this guy named Pat E. Cake who runs the party, sings and is sort of funny. Perfect for a five year old. Its about $10 per person. Goofy's Ktichen in the Disneyland Hotel is very fun (think Chef Mickey's) and a great place to celebrate a birthday. She can get a sticker at Town Hall to be recognized on her special day and the tortilla factor over at California Adventure gives a free bag of tortillas to honor guests on their birthday.