*VENT* UGH 8 1/2 yr old DD who is making me crazy

[bigsis1970]

Thanks gosh today is almost over . I think my DD is sending me to the Nut hOuse !!! She is just exactly like me - strong willed and being a single parent who is strong willed it just ain't working !
everything and i mean everything is a struggle between us , i say get up and she whines why i say put on your sneaker and she no my flip flops i say it time to leave for school and she says i am not ready even though all Am i am telling her to get all her things together ( and we have 7/10th of it done the night before ) she asks if a freind can come over and i say no its soccer night and she melts down in a HUGE hissy fit at the daycare then whines and huffs the entire way home then throws another fit about what is for supper then doesnt' want to play soccer
and this is just one day in the life of my struggles with her.
she backtalks and speaks to her brother and I rudely
some nights i am so glad its bed time and she is outta my hair
how horrible of me , tonight i asked her if all she wanted to remember of me when she was big is that i Yelled at her from morning to night every day of her life and she said no but then couldn't explain why she can't just do what i ask her do with our arguing and use the "golden rule" which is treat other like you like to be treated
sorry this is long - i just had to get it out before my head popped off like a rocket . no need for responses some times its better just to get it out even on paper - well screen- then keep it in.. thanks Michelle

 

[Lars624]

.....{{hugs}} for you....I have DD & I know what you're talking about {{hugs}}

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I keep telling people about my "HUG THERAPY". I had to do this for my dd as I was yelling all the time too.
Remember when they were toddlers and had meltdowns? Well when dd "starts" I say, "you like you need a hug". I try and force one on her if she stays put. Usually she RUNS. Argument, over.
I have been doing this for a year now and it definetly has improved things. It gives us a chance to calm down and really talk if she needs it.
Of course there is some yelling sometimes, I am not perfect, but it has helped anyway.
{{{HUGS}}}

 

[Michelle]

Boy, Michelle, does THAT sound familiar!!! I have a DD who turned 9 last month and although she can be the sweetest thing in the world she can also be INCREDIBLY strong willed. I know exactly how you feel.

{{{HUGS}}}, it is hard but I know that when I am at wits end I have to step back, take a deep breath and be calm. Yelling only makes her behavior worse. It takes incredible strength (which I often don't have) to not yell.

There are TONS of books out there that deal with how to cope with "spirited" kids, I hope you find one that helps. I've read them all and they do help, even if we don't apply the suggestions consistently. Just breaking the cycle of yelling at each other is the first step.

Good luck!!!

 

[mamajoan]

God Love Ya, I wish I could say it will get better soon..
Actually 9 and 10 weren't bad... hec I withstood 11.. but DANG 12 y/o girls are a very difficult bunch..

I have to say that Mystery Machines.. "HUG" approach does work sometimes to diffuse those bullheaded situations.

 

[Lisa L from MI]

OMG.....my oldest just turned 9 and she is TERRIBLE at times...I think back when I was "bad" and she is like 5 years ahead!!!!

I just go totally nuts!!! She can be a real......@!@##@ at some times, hate to say....but what is worst...I have another girl (6) just behind her!!!!!!!

No wonder people say boys are easier!!!!!!!!

 

[JohnTBap]

I am glad to know that I am not alone. I am ready for my daughter to return and replace the arguing robot that lives here now. I am fortunate to be able to tag team with DH. God bless you. Being a single parent must be so hard. My mom was a single parent and my brother and I were hellions. I ask her how she managed to not sneak away into the night. She is a saint.

 

[Lars624]

There is a book called "The Roller Coaster Years" which is about girls from around 11 to 15. It's about that sweet child who lives there that a the drop of a hat turns into Linda Blair. I found it helpful with my DD who is 13 now.

 

[amid chaos]

You could have described my 7 y/o...and she has been this way for her whole life. if I tell her it's green, she's argues. If i told her to eat this whole bag of candy while watching TV in her pajamas she would melt into a puddle arguing with me.

Hugs...I'm glad i'm not the only one.

 

[4greatboys]

Im not sure its the age or gender as much as it is just that childs personality. Having 4 boys they are each very different but my 12 yr old is a lot like your daughter. He can be such a huge pain in my butt and them turn around and be so sweet. His mouth is going to do one of us in on of these day (and its not going to be me!). I tell everyone as soon as he is 18 (he will grad high school and turn 18 in the same month) that I am giving MYSELF a huge party for not shipping him off to military school. I hope in my bunch he is one of a kind.

 

[zurgswife]

My DD is 11 and I've been in that stage for 3 years now...some day are better then others and at 11 we do find more common ground....but i think it is more common to have a daughter with the "tude" then you would think....


{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

[JohnTBap]

Sister Mary Alyssa never used to be like this. I think it has to do with the arrival of Mr Baby.

 

[bigsis1970]

Thanks everyone Glad to know there are DD out there with the same type of attitudes ! We have decide when one of us has had enough we will retire to our room for 5-10 YEARS oops meant minutes and lay on our beds and leave the other alone! its been working so far knock on wood. the hugs were nice that everyone.
Michelle

 

[lvs_eeyore]

Its not just the gender. I have a boy who is exactly like this LOL

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

Sounds like my 7 1/2 year old too. Some days she is a sweetie others she fights all day long.

Some days I can't wait till bedtime.

 

[Toodles524]

Boy, can I relate. My daughter is 81/2 too. Being a single mom isn't easy. I sometimes wonder if she will remember anything other than the fights. But then I tell myself being strong willed is not so bad. It gives us the fortitude to raise our kids to be independent and tough in a world that demands those qualities. As my mother says, I'm living with my mother's curse. I have a child who is just like I was at that age!

 

[browneyes]

Michelle, I think that's why we had kids-to drive us slowly insane. My 9 yo dd and my 6 yo ds are slowly but surely driving me nuts, too.

{{hugs}}

 

[ugadog99]

Yep, I have one of those, too! Just to make it really interesting, she is also ADHD. While she is medicated, I never see the results of the meds because it is only effective while at school. She wears me out EVERY day. I also am a single mom and I think that also plays a part in her behavior. The fact that I am an elementary teacher and with kids 24/7 probably doesn't help, either. I have no words of advice, just a LOT of understanding!